Things People With DID Wish You Knew
If this is part of your life story, please share your insights! What would you like the rest of us to learn? What should we know about people in this community? How would you like people to interact with you? Should people ask questions? What’s the best way for people to learn about this? Do you have any resources (books, movies, YT videos, etc) that will give us greater understanding and empathy and kindness toward people who experience the same things you do?
If you’re not on this journey, please share insights you’ve learned while interacting with those who are, whether family, friends, or anyone else. Share things you’ve read, and ask if they’re true. Share beliefs that you have, ask questions, and more! This is a safe space where you can learn about things you’ve never experienced. <3
Let’s have a gentle, fun, friendly conversation among friends! As a song in one of the Land Before Time movies says, “It takes all sorts to make a world!” <3
@ShadowFaerie @unassumingEyes @Sunisshiningandsoareyou @sadcat13 @Amanda84 @goldenduckling @mytwistedsoul @Tinywhisper11 @LovemyMoonflowers @GreenLime3141 @7Bear7 @Phoenixthepoised @Torean @GentleHealingInitiative @cyanessence @YourCaringConfidant @CaringEzra @NobleSeeker @fossilfellow @BastionKnight @trueconfidant123 @safeplace288 @lovingCat6978 @reservedOwl321 @dapperNest2125 @Creamyyy @naturesbeauty1234 @bubbleSummer9800 @peachThinker662 @warmheartedHuman836 @Mansbestfriend @Paliloveyourself @Magicpawsoffuture @SelfCareMatters @TovaCares76 @sabeyesofblue3535 @Ailuraphilelove8tear9 @charmingApple8098 @luvArisu @BlueDarkAurora @curiousbookishness @sympatheticPlace3743 @musawva @KindleMissie @WellsFiction @Angelanj @SlappyMcGee @SunshineJazz @LexListens2025
I’m adding a taglist to start, but this post is open to absolutely everyone! <3
@jesusredeemedme2425 I'm looking forward to learning more about people's experiences with this ❤️
(looks around nervously) 👀
First I wish others knew that we're not dangerous or violent. There aren't any bad parts, just hurt ones
Losing time is hard and confusing. It can be minutes, hours, days and sometimes months or years just gone.
We often forget things. If I repeat myself or ask the same questions it's because I genuinely don't remember. Getting angry or upset isn't going to help either of us
Our inner world has no sense of time.
We're different from each other. With our own likes and dislikes. Clothing choices. Food. Tastes in music. We speak differently and write differently and even sound different. We have different triggers. Different names, ages and even genders. We have different skills and talents.
Littles are no different than other children. Please be as gentle with them as you would any other child. We are very protective of our littles.
Sometimes people come up and talk to me, call me a different name and I have no idea who that person is
Switching is exhausting and often causes bad headaches and we don't have much control over it. Just because I know and understand doesn't mean I can control it. Communication between parts helps but communication isn't always guaranteed. Please don't try to trigger switches!
We can't just summon another part
Learning to live and cooperate together is hard work and it's taken years to get to the point we have. At times it's all still pretty fragile
This isn't fun or a game. We were created by trauma.
Movies often exaggerate DID
Switches aren't always noticeable or overt. We're really good at masking and hiding
It's hard having friends and relationships and we often feel alone in our struggles.
Sometimes we fight and don't get along
Every system is different and unique. What works for one system doesn't mean it will work for someone else's system
Not all parts are human.
You can know me but also not know All of me. Just as I know my parts but don't know everything about them yet
No need to be nervous, we’re all here for you <3
@jesusredeemedme2425 Thank you 😅
@mytwistedsoul
you are so brave with your vulnerability. ❤️❤️
It’s so sad that people would generally assume someone with DID is dangerous. I agree that moves exaggerate DID. It does always seem to be the villain that has it.
If you don’t mind me asking, from what I understand the personalities form differently from trauma (I hope I worded that correctly) can the personalities eventually blend into less alters? Or is mostly about managing and growing with them? Kinda like I struggle with anxiety, I might always have it, but I can learn to manage it type thing.
I empathize with you on how exhausting it must be based on your description.
I still don’t know ask the parts of me either ❤️❤️❤️
Thank you for sharing 🥰
@peachThinker662 Thank you ❤️ Tbh I deleted it a couple times 😅
Please don’t censor yourself… You guys are safe here. <3
What are the advantages and disadvantages of fusing? What exactly does fusing do?
@jesusredeemedme2425 Fusing is the where two or more distinct parts merge (integrate) into one joined identity
The advantages are that it dissolves barriers, reduces amnesia and switching, reduces the energy used and increases stability and functioning.
The disadvantages are that it's often painful and destabilizing, there's a lot of grief and loss amongst parts, increased emotional overload, loss of traits or skills.
Do not all alters know the other alters?
@jesusredeemedme2425 Not always. Some parts might think they're the only one. The host usually isn't aware of the others in the beginning. One (let's say A) might know about another part (Let's say B) but that other part (B) might not know about the other one (A). In some cases there can be subsystems, a system within a system. They operate separately from the main system. And they're usually not aware of each other. They can be trauma locked and still believe they're in the bad situation. It might be a group that has their own host for their own group of parts
Sounds complicated. Is it hard to keep track of?
How exactly does the subsystem work?
@jesusredeemedme2425 It can be really hard to keep track. Communication can really help. Some of my others (parts) will let me know if they were out and what went on during their time out. Usually through notes or journaling
Do you use that DID app that I’ve heard about?
@jesusredeemedme2425 Which one lol! Simply plural is pretty good. It's been helpful at least when we remember to use it 😅
I think it was that one lol! I forgot which one it was.
There’s more than one app?
@jesusredeemedme2425 There's a few. Plural kit is another and Octocon and Anatar. But Simply plural is the better of all imo.
I’ve never heard of those.
@mytwistedsoul
You and couple other people was only ones trust about DID stuff
teen side use be full so much people say them systems but they was like all alters from shows and books which know can happen but tons teens have exact same ones 😑and all them alters know how use cups first week them make account and them always pick who front
them also use alter be mean hurtful bullies and say can’t blame them was alter an them get mad would not call every alter different name when Nahoa always say part username because to hard remember names them mad would not look whole list them 78 alters every time so could say right name instead username
am sorry there lot liars out there make it harder talk about how am actual have DID is frustrating don’t understand why people like pretend have serious things when them don’t
@theboymoana Hey Nahoa! It's really nice to see you!
@jesusredeemedme2425
our journey been a very long one wish people know that healing can be slow and lots of hard work for us we now work as a team most the time but at times we still fight with each other just like a group of people each part can have different likes and not like things so that can be very hard for others to get
big one is we not violent and will not just lash out at others movies have really hurt ones with DID by making it seem like we will hurt others lash-out at them not true at all with us we would rather hurt self then hurt other people
we all within are part of the whole but broken into many parts due to lots of very bad trauma over years and years
we forget things a lot also misplace things a lot so please do not get mad if we forget things as for us can not be helped
our inside world we when not out or not watching are in it not like the outside world around us
each system world can be very different no two are the same for us we can see the inside world and move around within it we know for other systems they can only hear the others inside we been told this by some with DID
we found that when other ask questions about things related to DID we happy most the time to answer their questions due to we believe with anything that asking questions is good and a great way to learn about almost everything it why we willing even happy to answer questions others have but we not always able to answer the questions due to lack of words for somethings within our system but we do our best to answer questions related to DID and our system
it very hard work when you have DID as it lot of inside communication between all parts within this can be very tiring too
remember that each part just like a outside person so kids parts acted as kids teen parts as teens adult parts mostly as adults also some parts have no age at all or slide between ages even at lest within our system some parts are animals and yes even them parts at times can talk
please do not expected each part to acted the same yes at times ones can not tell we great at masking as it helped us within our trauma as if not doing that we would have been hurt more even some parts the abusers would have tried to call out even now we mask to cover up that we many parts within one body we try to acted normal as far as what other think is normal just to live within the world
do not try to call parts out as this is very bad and can even setback ones with DID
remember we real person even as parts we have same feelings as other people do we not void of emotions
it hard work having DID
we tell people we like glass bottles that been shattered into many pieces as we recover do healing work we become like a stain glass window as each piece part become more joined with other parts we may never heal all the way in this life but can become as a team working together for the betterment for all parts within our system becoming something better then we already be day by day piece by piece as we heal
What causes/triggers age sliding?
Looking for friends, genuine trustworthy people with good vibes, seems hard to find these days
Hi! Nice to meet you! I’m Kiara. <3
I wish my ex knew and cared: sometimes people in a system are taught to ok things that aren’t ok for them. Listen to protectors. If protectors say no it means no period. If one part says OK to something done to them it doesn’t really mean it’s ok necessarily. Protectors know. Listen to them. Respect them. They deserve your respect. No means no. Yes means discussion. Yes doesn’t mean pounce!!!!!!!!
@ConstellationSystem Agreed! There are often people pleaser or compliant parts that will say yes because it's how they were trained. That doesn't mean that every part agrees with that yes
Protectors work to keep the system safe from past traumas. They can be intense, but they mean well and are trying to stop the system from re-experiencing something.
A protector saying no means they're flagging something that other parts might be ignoring or going along with due to past experiences. Respecting that no helps build trust within the system and can keep trauma from being re-activated. They're guardians and do what they can to shield and protect vulnerable parts
Here’s a question. If we wonder if they’re people pleasing, are we allowed to ask what the protector’s decision is? Or is that poor etiquette? How would we proceed if we think that the answer we’re being given is a “yes sir” kind of answer, vs. what’s healthiest for them?
It’s always best to err on the side of caution. If you’re ever unsure refrain. Otherwise yes I personally feel it’s best to talk to a protector. It could produce feelings in the others though like rejection or being disempowered etc. really there’s no blanket answer, just ask the system before a relationship/any sort of ship truly starts. Boundaries are always good to discuss, system or not. Anyway my opinion is no means no and yes means talk (to protectors) or table it
I was just wondering if essentially saying “Can I talk to someone else?” would be offensive.
It can be, but I think in a situation where trauma is potentially possible otherwise, then some hurt feelings is worth the safety measure. Or, you could stand in as the boundary and say no yourself to the situation for them when they can’t. They might not understand but. It’s a bit complicated… but the most important thing is safety
@ConstellationSystem
agree with you
I would say this is especially true if you have a Little out. Stand in the gap. They’re not old enough to make decisions.
Is this idea a good one? I don’t want to step on any toes. I would honestly just protect any child, DID or not <3
It depends on the situation, but we generally agree a lot with that. Some decisions can’t be made by children. Like being with people in an adult way. Especially ‘that way.’ I’ve been people disagree and it makes me sick.
Ew. People are disgusting and ignorant. I wonder if it’s more ignorant, though. They’re seeing the body being an adult and not realizing the “childish behavior” is an actual child.
In the case I saw it was the systems partner defending doing that with the littles and I wanted to see him explode into mist.
some people are truly ignorant but idk why you’d wanna do it with someone being childish that would make me uninterested lol
He shouldn’t be their partner then. Ew.
Some people are into very… different things. I don’t even wanna think about it… People just need to stop being gross.
I agree with you. It’s damaging
DID and OSDD vary by the amount of amnesia barriers between the alters. Amnesia barriers keep certain memories contained within one or a few alters and the rest of the system has no idea that the memories even exist or what they contain.
If someone tells you outright that they have either DID or OSDD, it's a HUGE step of trust. It's also a very personal attack should that trust be broken.
DID is not a joke, nor is it fun. It took a LOT of abuse, either physically or emotionally or both, to get here and, in some regards, some alters are still in the fights of their lives to simply exist because they live frozen inside the trauma.
There is no magic number of alters. A system may have as few as two or many thousands, all depending on the traumas the person experienced and how the mind decided to partition it all to keep the whole functioning.
Not all alters CAN grow up. It's inappropriate to think one can force them to. I know I have one who is 6 years old. It's 1977 for him. It's been 1977 all he's ever known. He tried fronting once. The sheer mechanism of the body and the items we take for granted now were so foreign to him, he nearly collapsed the body in a panic attack from being so disjointed from the world.
Having alters does not mean the goal in life HAS to be final fusion. Alters may integrate for a time, working together as a team, then return to their own individualities afterward. Alters may fuse, forming a new alter that may or may not share traits from those who have fused. Alters may be fine remaining separate, living in functional multiplicity where each alter has the ability and opportunity to live, grow, and thrive. Or, alters may decide to remain hidden from each other, protecting the rest of the system from the hurts they know themselves. Or, with LOTS OF THERAPY AND GENTLE UNRAVELING OF THE TRAUMAS, alters may undergo that final fusion to return to being a single personality in a single body. ALL OPTIONS ARE OK. THERE IS NO ONE RIGHT WAY THAT ALL SYSTEMS MUST BECOME.
Switching is never on cue, and rarely ever convenient unless alters have agreed to handle specific tasks in the outer world.
I’m sorry that little kid went through that experience it sounds really traumatic. I’m glad you have that understanding about him so he can be safe and not be put thru stuff because some people have this idea they all need to grow up
I used to have a friend who had ideas like that systems had to fuse. I got ideas in my head too from that and I’m glad they’re cleared out because it’s so terrible to do to yourself and other systems. Forcing our will and ideas onto others and not listening is very awful
@5thof4in465
***TW***
I had no idea that alters could be stuck in a specific year.
One of the alters of DissociaDID said one thing that really hit me...
"I exist because a child thought they were going to d*e."
That made me cry.
💔❤️🩹🫂🫂🫂
Does the switching happen every day? Or could they stay with one alter for quite some time and then something happens to bring out the others? I hope this makes sense. I commend you all for your trust, honesty and openness. Amazing ❤️
I can’t speak for everyone but for us it doesn’t happen every day. But we get passive influence everyday which is where another alter is “close” (hard to explain) and their behaviors mesh into you. It can change your voice a little. You might get their thoughts and feelings intruding. You might dissociate more or sometimes less (I do less with certain people and a lot more with others. And alone I just. Suck.) if we’re under significant stress or having current trauma switching happens more. How “hard” the switches are depends also. We don’t very often have total blackouts like we used to. Oh.. also an alter who fronts the most (and handles daily life most) is called the host. I am a host. A system can have more than one. But sometimes I’m seemingly by myself for days. I don’t really like it. Also alters can get “front stuck”… I had that happen to me and for me it happens where I can’t switch and people inside can’t help me from way too much stress overload. Anyway sorry if this was confusing. I don’t really talk a lot about this stuff it’s kind of uncomfortable and worrisome. But I think it’s good to try
@ConstellationSystem You're doing great sharing here! It's nice to meet you. :)
@mytwistedsoul you are doing great too, I’m glad you shared. It’s nice meeting you too it’s nice to feel welcome and ok to talk
@ConstellationSystem Thank you! Tbh we don't share much about any of this.
You did really great, I understand how uncomfortable and difficult it is to share about this experience. Not to mention we are literally not supposed to be able to. So… we hacked the Matrix!! 0: lol… it’s for the better. And if any grief pops up from it I hope I could help.
You shouldn’t be able to? How come?
It is the nature of the disorder. It is initially very much hidden from you in order to work as smoothly as possible. Though in some cases some alters can be aware maybe since ‘the start’, that I don’t know but I don’t like saying anything is all this or that with this disorder generally.
Why would an alter get stuck in front?
Due to a break down in functionality i don’t really know fully. But I experienced it and the clearest memory I have is when I lost my cat. All I could do and think about was finding my cat. I needed to has internal people help but they couldn’t and despite being absolutely exhausted I felt more “here” than ever and it was awful feeling. It was like I became “hyper aware/awake” to a sickening level and just could not rest or think properly. I really think it is due to stress exceeding some kind of threshold. Or maybe something else. Idk…
Did you ever find your cat??
@peachThinker662 Sometimes it does happen every day or a couple of times every day. It's worse if there's a lot of stress.
When people with DID say they have “about x amount of alters”, instead of a specific number, what do they mean?
For us, it’s because it’s sometimes really amibiguous what is going on, that maybe what we think is two alters is one. Or one is two. We have mirroring in our system and one half is more well known than the other but due to logic on how the structure works so far we figure it must continue being sort of balanced in pairs or paired groups. I don’t know how to explain it, I’m sure I did a poor job
@ConstellationSystem
So there could potentially be an infinite number of alters and you just don't know it yet??? <3
Thankfully not that sounds hellish lol … I would feel hopeless. I feel pain being apart from them. Specially the ones mirrored from me. And ones that used to be a part of me specifically. The idea of never being able to be close and together cause there’s always another sounds like a nightmare. Plus I think I wouldn’t be able to function or have thoughts. Man… lol…
@jesusredeemedme2425 Some times new parts can form or they might go dormant. Or merge. There might be hidden parts or there may be fragments
@mytwistedsoul yes and sometimes parts think they are others parts and act like them but then you find out they’re not the same part. That was me
That was you? How so?
I was convinced there were no other parts and if anyone else showed up my brain smoothed over the experience and I believed eventhough I didn’t understand why I did or said something that was me and I did actually understand why I did or said something I was just being xyz. I just almost aggressively dismissed everyone and did mental gymnastics to make it about me. Or absolutely not about anyone, it isn’t real. Then I smoothed that over too and just convinced myself I wasn’t convincing myself. I would forget I forgot. It’s so bizarre to explain. Even if someone was screaming in my face mentally I just somehow couldn’t acknowledge it in an almost physical way. Nothing could happen that would. I don’t even remember what it was exactly that finally got things through to me but here I am I guess… even now. Being in this thread makes me feel a background denial. But. It’s okay.
It’s gotta be so confusing sometimes. :(
@jesusredeemedme2425 it really is awful. Appreciate the empathy <3
What’s a fragment?
Do you guys (I mean you different systems) have non-human alters?
@jesusredeemedme2425 A fragment is a less-developed part that might hold specific memories, emotions, or functions rather than a full, distinct personality.
What are some good videos by legit systems on YT where we can learn more?
I know DissociaDID is highly debated whether their DID is legit or not. What are your thoughts on that? What are some signs that systems are legit or fake?
Clarifying: I’m not posting this to bash on DissociaDID or anyone else. I’m just curious what the DID community thinks about DID videos in general, and what the signs would be. DissociaDID, whether legit or not, gives a lot of good food for thought and such. I’ve watched a lot of their videos and they definitely make me think.
@jesusredeemedme2425 The CTad clinic is good
There are some interviews with a few people
