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Pride 2023 Stories Around the Campfire

User Profile: EmotionsListener
EmotionsListener June 21st, 2023

We are deep into Pride month now! I hope you’ve all been having fun joining in our other events full of positive words or colourful rainbows! This week I wanted to take some time to welcome everyone in the community to take a moment to share and connect over our various experiences as part of the LGBTQ+ Community.


This thread is about short stories from everyone in the community. It can be about your questioning, coming out, dealing with hatred, finding love, this is a space to share some of your experiences, the good and the bad. If you want to go into more detail perhaps you can even write your own thread sharing in greater detail and link to it here too!


I invite you to take some time, reflect on your experiences and then join us around the virtual campfire to share a story or two of your journey.


screenshot-2023-06-21-183250_1687387600.png

(Image consists of a fire burning in the colours of the rainbow.)


Tagging the sub-community (to be added/removed, then click here!) @0OOXOO0z @0verth1nker8 @2019DOGS @22butterflies @3m1lywh3at0n @4Butterflies2Dragonflies @A2021203 @ablacklatinx @abpio @ace2929 @acesarrow @Adamjohns22 @adorableSky52 @affectionateHuman529 @agreeableEyesz @AHMED1998 @Aimee198 @AlexWilson @Alexx26 @AlexXxBlake @Alienoid @Alkina @ambitiousNorth1459 @AMusicalSilence @amusingCoconut @amusingCoconut5687 @AnastasiaSmith @anewdaydawning @angelbunnybby @anis2222 @anna5485 @anonym0815 @anshumanverma @Antthony101 @archerzvy @Arihaanth @Arnav012568 @Arsonbaby @Arthilio27 @Asheristired @athf4ever @Aubrey2018 @AveryLove @awalkintheforest @axolotladler @AzureWinter @badoinkitydoop @BaileeIsDaBomb @BaileyRomme @Banjothebudgie @Batman64546 @beautifulFireworks63 @Bendall6456 @bestPuppy137 @Biamcc27 @bigirl06 @Blake790 @blissfulForest7074 @blithesoul64 @Bloog @blueAcai8991 @blueBeing7491 @blueCamp8059 @bluehouse2020 @Bob1144 @bobby15 @BookyCapri @boomboom1bakubro @bpanon0510 @bpate00 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@sweetmango91 @sweetMelody95 @taescheek @TaylorAlise @taylorhugs12 @taylorjensen @Taylzasoldastime @Tealperson @The0Vetoed0System @TheAutumnWitch @theindigojournal @TheoRae8289 @TheQueerCollective @thoughtfulApple1359 @tidyHickory3283 @tigerlily249 @TimewiseHeart @tinycactus809 @tranquilForever68 @TroubledWithLife @Trying15 @TryingTBH2021 @turquoiseHemlock900 @turquoiseLand8120 @turtle5678 @uzumaki6 @venusnity @veronikamalik @versatileLake2802 @vgranieri @vibiebb @vikingwolf802 @viktorija120 @Vivikun9 @wamayay07 @wannatalkaboutit @warmheartedCity8277 @werenotgonnatakeit @WhoIAM2you @willpowered17 @WonderfulHart1330 @wonderfulheart4088 @wonderfulMango5023 @worldwidejinn @Xaixu @xDarkNigxtmare0981x @xinyii11 @XwonderlandgirlX @xxharleyxx @Yavmarcus @YellowCanary11 @yellowdragon028 @YinYinChan @yournewfriend13 @zenona5 @ZhaviaMachete


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User Profile: Crystalboy4
Crystalboy4 June 22nd, 2023

@EmotionsListener

You forgot about meee! But I get notified when there are threads posted to this group anyway.

My story is weird but kinda sweet? Mostly weird. Basically I was at work, I work at a zoo telling guests about the animals, and thid lady followed me from the snake house to the camel exhibit during a shift change to ask me how being trans works. Her reasoning was that she was a teacher and she needed to know, but like maybe Google instead of harrassing some kid?? Idk at least she was trying to learn.

1 reply
User Profile: EmotionsListener
EmotionsListener OP June 22nd, 2023

@Crystalboy4

Thank you for sharing your story, it is amazing how we get treated like exhibits ourselves at times, it is nice when people want to educate themselves but it would also be nice if they realized we didn't sign up to tutor them.

Also, if you'd like to be added to the LGBTQ+ taglist, please go here and reply with "please add me" as indicated.

Thank you again for sharing!
❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

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User Profile: Barltik2065
Barltik2065 June 22nd, 2023

@EmotionsListener

Topics as such I usually avoid like a plague. Thank goodness for the anonymity.

Long version - Trigger Warning:
https://www.7cups.com/forum/trauma/DissociationRelatedDisorders_2335/MyPersonalStoryBarltik2065_302676/

I have felt it has been beneficial to share insight/perspective and remind me who I am.

I am unsure where to go from here LOL. Such an open ended topic

One thing I have noticed in the last 3 decades, the idea of going to to gay club is 100% gone! Such a tragedy.
Have no place left to go where I am "normal" :(

3 replies
User Profile: EmotionsListener
EmotionsListener OP June 22nd, 2023

@Barltik2065

It can be a mixed bag of experiences, perhaps you could tell us about some of the fun you've had with the community over the years?

I have noticed the rapid decline in dedicated spaces and gay bars, it is unfortunate even at other events I always have others my age and younger asking where to go to meet people because without those spaces it's increasingly necessary to rely on that mythical skill of "gaydar." I mostly resort to the wearing a discreet rainbow and looking for them in others as that secret handshake that says it's okay to be out with me.

Hopefully you can think of some fun stories you'd like to share with us, but thank you for sharing your thoughts just the same!
❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

3 replies
User Profile: Barltik2065
Barltik2065 June 23rd, 2023

@EmotionsListener

Thank you so much for your kind words and understanding.

Positive story, ok.
When marriage became legal. Sister required us to be married in their house (you know how big sisters can be LOL). We got a license and and arranged for the Justice of the Peace to come.

Wedding Day :)

Justice of the Peace (JP) came and sat down with us. WE WERE SO SO NERVOUS!! NERVOUS NELLY as they would say. JP stated to us in a come voice "Today is a special day for you two and I wish to make it even more special. I too am Gay and understand the importance." we gasped and had no clue. JP continued "Together we will update the marriage verbiage to be proper for our kind."
Thought that was super super awesome, special, and compassionate. Me being the introvert was placid on the outside and a "Thank You" was the only thing I could say. Remember, I AM NERVOUS NELLY.
Now we get to the ceremony - you can imagine the tension and I am avoiding eye contact with my sister. Then the JP states "OK you two face each other and repeat after me". That did it... HOT MESS COMING IN HOT. So far it is nothing more than repeat after me which is not complicated.
So break in the story, we wrote each other our vows from our own words.
JP states "Ok, now please read your vows to each other"
My partner started and finished, I hear my sister sniffing and getting tissue after tissue and it is my turn.
I read this vow a hundred times. They are my own words. And I could not speak.
I had to ask my teared up sister to read it for me because I was not able.
Years have passed, I still get teared up thinking about it.

And this is the only place I really can talk about it.



3 replies
User Profile: Clio9876
Clio9876 June 24th, 2023

@Barltik2065

Oh, that's so beautiful. It had me teary too. Thanks for sharing that special day.

User Profile: EmotionsListener
EmotionsListener OP July 15th, 2023

@Barltik2065

Sounds like it was a very intense and wonderful day for you and your partner. Thank you for taking the time to share some of that joy with us. While some may have never known a time before marriage legalization, I know for many of us who do there is an added weight and significance to such a day. I do regret that you don't have more spaces to share and celebrate your experiences, but hope you will continue to share here.

Thank you again.
❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

2 replies
User Profile: Barltik2065
Barltik2065 July 17th, 2023

@EmotionsListener

I do remember many many many moons ago having to drive many miles (~40+) for the nearest gay bar and doing everything I could to put my vehicle in a location so no one could see it in fear. Fear of being persecuted, fired, life threatened, abused, etc
All that just so I could spend quality time being "normal"

Thank you for acknowledging and understanding

It just dawned on me, a couple weeks ago was talking with a sibling whom is a couple years older then me. And it gas been less then a decade my sibling learned that I was gay. And during this discussion I share of some of my mental issues and dealing with being gay. You could see the utmost confusion on my siblings face. At which I added "You do know I still fear for my life at times because of who I am? Right?"
Had zero clue, 100% ignorance to life then and even life now. I actually felt sorry for my sibling for not having a clue.

1 reply
User Profile: EmotionsListener
EmotionsListener OP July 17th, 2023

@Barltik2065

It is scary to think how quickly much of that fear is returning for many of us, only now having already shouted our truth to the world, it's much more difficult to really hide who we are. I hope for a day where no one needs to have any clue what those feelings are like, but I also recognize today is not yet that day.

Thank you again for sharing your experiences and insights.
❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

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User Profile: broadfemmelovelive
broadfemmelovelive June 22nd, 2023

Growing up in the prairies as a queer non-binary/agender individual and feeling like no one understood me was an incredibly isolating and challenging experience. The prairies, with their conservative values and traditional outlook, often lacked the acceptance and understanding I craved.


I felt like an outsider, unable to find anyone who truly got me. It was disheartening to see the lack of representation and role models in my community. The absence of people who shared similar experiences left me feeling alone and misunderstood. It was as if I was navigating uncharted territory, with no guidance or support.


This sense of isolation took a toll on me emotionally. Loneliness became a constant companion, and I often questioned my own identity and validity. It was difficult not to internalize the negativity and doubt that surrounded me. I longed for acceptance and a place where I could truly be myself without fear of judgment or rejection.


But despite the challenges, I also found strength within myself. I learned to rely on my own resilience and authenticity. I sought solace in online communities and support groups, connecting with fellow queer individuals who shared similar experiences. These spaces provided a lifeline, reminding me that I was not alone and that my feelings were valid.


As I grew older, I began to embrace my identity more openly, even in the face of adversity. I became an advocate for queer rights and visibility, striving to create a more inclusive and accepting environment for future generations. While the prairies may not have initially understood me, I am determined to help change that narrative and pave the way for a more understanding and compassionate society.


Looking back on my journey, I am proud of the resilience I've developed and the authenticity I've cultivated. It hasn't been an easy road, but it has shaped me into the person I am today. I am hopeful that by sharing my story and advocating for change, I can make a difference in the lives of other queer non-binary/agender individuals who may feel just as unseen and unheard. Together, we can create a world where everyone feels valued and understood, regardless of their gender identity or sexual orientation.

1 reply
User Profile: EmotionsListener
EmotionsListener OP July 15th, 2023

@broadfemmelovelive

Thank you for sharing your story with us, finding strength in yourself and working to create a more accepting world for those who come behind you is a wonderful way to turn our trials into triumph.

Again, thank you for sharing!
❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

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User Profile: ChaoticListener
ChaoticListener June 22nd, 2023

I am non-binary, genderfluid, pans. Basically I always went around telling everyone that everyone is gay (because I've read the studies lmfaoo) and in high school I even wrote a whole essay about how you can still be fired in America for being gay based on the owner's religious views (homophobia) and how isn't this so wrong??? I remember the looks on everyone's faces - super blank and like nobody cared and also possibly assuming I'm gay (I am lol) and judging me for it - it's the South. Flash forward to the recent spike in homophobic bills being passed not only across the country but across the world -

https://www.hrw.org/news/2020/05/18/global-report-card-lgbtq-rights-idahobit

"At least 417 anti-LGBTQ bills have been introduced in state legislatures across the United States since the start of the year — a new record, according to American Civil Liberties Union data as of April 3. That’s already more than twice the number of such bills introduced all of last year." -

https://www.cnn.com/2023/04/06/politics/anti-lgbtq-plus-state-bill-rights-dg/index.html


Basically it's weird for me because everyone always assumed I was gay and I always knew I was gay because I believe everyone's a little bit gay of course (remember the studies lmfaoo) but it's almost like I still don't feel gay enough.

I always joke that I'm all the most "confusing type of gay" because that's how cishets think/act and then I've also encountered hate from people within the community, them saying transphobic trash like non-binary people aren't real or gender-fluidity isn't real, etc. Also the whole pans not being a real sexuality lol. Making us feel like we just don't exist.

Patriarchy is definitely scared of non-binary people - Non-binary, pans, and genderfluid people are all valid, strong, cool, revolutionary, lovely, and bold.

Remember that pride is a protest and keep thriving loves! Just you existing is a protest, you are powerful.

🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️

1 reply
User Profile: EmotionsListener
EmotionsListener OP July 15th, 2023

@ChaoticListener

Sounds like you are a strong voice for the LGBTQ+/MOGII community. Pride indeed started as a protest, and for many today remains that protest, even claiming the right to celebrate as many do can be seen as a protest.

As you mention the energy and attitudes around the world have seemed to be growing more hateful in recent years once more, it can be quite unsettling to see, though we can hope it helps to reinforce the bonds of our community and allies in pushing back against the voices of hate.

Thank you for sharing your story with us.
❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

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User Profile: sweetmikayla
sweetmikayla June 22nd, 2023

I grew up in a conservative Catholic family, in which everything LGBT+ is seen as wrong, evil, and inconceivable. Nevertheless, I somehow ended up being the family's "phantom lesbian". This running joke has been directed, over the years, to several members of my family that didn't have a partner of the opposite gender for a long time. In the attempt to "cure" me, my aunt tried to find me a boyfriend. Unfortunately, she ended up throwing me in a 5-months toxic relationship with a pathetic excuse for a human being that did nothing but destroy what little remained of my faith in humanity.

However, this relationship was one of the starting points that made me reflect upon myself. I realized that I wanted a relationship (but not like that one!), but I wasn't sure with whom. I still liked men, but... would it really matter to me if I ever dated a woman? So maybe I was not a "phantom lesbian", maybe I was just bisexual. And would gender really matter to me in a relationship? Could I be pansexual?

But a few years (and almost-relationships) later, I finally started to notice a pattern. I found a poem I had written a bunch of years before, in which I listed all the boys that I've ever had a crush on, and something didn't feel right: why did it seem that all of them (except for 3) had been somehow "carefully selected" among my peers? Why did I feel the need to "choose" my crushes? Isn't love supposed to be something that you don't choose?

I think I always did it so that whenever someone asked me, "So, who do you like?" I would have an answer. Or maybe because I thought that having a crush on someone was a thing that everybody did, so I tried being like everyone else. But it turned out I was not.

And the three guys that I didn't "carefully select"? What did they have in common? A special connection. All of them showed me kindness, in some way. They did something nice to me, they seemed to look beyond appearances, and they made me feel some genuine positive emotion. And that emotional connection made me feel attracted to them.

I began searching online, reading other people's experiences, reading definitions, posting on forums, until I came to the conclusion that I am on the asexual spectrum. More precisely, I identify as demisexual (possibly also demiromantic, but I haven't looked much into that yet). It's been a relief for me, because now I don't have to pretend to have a crush on someone, or desperately wait for my Prince Charming to appear out of nowhere. Yes, sometimes I still get frustrated whenever I see happy couples all around me, making me think, "Why can't it be so easy for me too?", but I'm learning to accept myself. Despite family members asking, every now and then, "So, do you have a boyfriend?", or reminding me, "At your age, your mother was already married and already had two daughters, almost three". Despite knowing that everyone I meet might not understand the way I feel, and just innocently say, "You'll find the right person, eventually".

I've come a long way, but I still got a long way to go.

1 reply
User Profile: EmotionsListener
EmotionsListener OP July 15th, 2023

@sweetmikayla

Thank you for sharing your experience with us. I can certainly relate to the "picking someone appropriate" to answer your peers when they were talking about the boys they had crushes on, if only to have an answer or because you were supposed to have crushes. As well as finding yourself picking those who had shown they were nice or kind in some way. Essentially those who you may be happy to have as a friend it seems.

Sounds like your path to self acceptance is well underway, though it is can be a journey we take every day, and have to re-walk when the words and attitudes of those around us set us back.

Thank you again for sharing your story with us.
❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

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User Profile: RainbowRosie
RainbowRosie June 23rd, 2023

@EmotionsListener

My story is slightly different in that I’m mum to (adult) gay children and have seen how they’ve struggled with identify, fitting in, coming out, etc., over the years.

I’ve never cared whether they were gay or straight. My concern is that they’re good people. happy, find someone they want to share their life with (if that’s what they want) and feel comfortable in their skin and are accepted and loved.

I hear so many sad stories of people whose family don’t want to accept their gay, bisexual, lesbian, trans child and my heart bleeds.

I’m a proud ally and supporter and I will continue to advocate for change.

🌹


1 reply
User Profile: broadfemmelovelive
broadfemmelovelive July 9th, 2023

Thanks Rosie this is beautiful 🥰🌈

User Profile: EmotionsListener
EmotionsListener OP July 15th, 2023

@RainbowRosie

Acceptance is indeed too rare a story, but I thank you for taking the time to share yours with us!
❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

User Profile: Barltik2065
Barltik2065 July 26th, 2023

@RainbowRosie

Oh have had a Parent who knew and continued to show love for their child is Powerful and Loving.

Thank you!

At an Opening Pride event in our area. As a pretext to this, my spouse was in the hospital, we were ~1k miles from home, and it could have been the death bed. So back to the story, It was the day after my spouse's birthday, a friend of ours took my spouse and I on the stage (unbeknownst to us this was going to happen) and they all sung Happy Birthday.

With all the "laws" being created against the principal of loving each other. With all the Hate (Remember Matthew Sheppard) and Parents like mine "You will burn in ***".
You run across someone like you @RainbowRosie and you have a moment where strangers Sing Happy Birthday to strangers ... it brings Hope.

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User Profile: Jenna
Jenna June 23rd, 2023

Coming out was one of the most liberating experiences for me. I was able to form valuable friendships within the community and even had my first love, who still holds a special place in my heart. I found the courage to explore and express my non-binary gender identity, which has been a significant part of my personal growth. 7 Cups has played a crucial role in my journey of self-discovery and healing thanks to the support I received, the people I met along the way, and the events I got to participate in. Despite encountering hate in both online and personal spaces, I focus on the positive and take comfort in knowing that I am living authentically as myself.

1 reply
User Profile: EmotionsListener
EmotionsListener OP July 15th, 2023

@Jenna

I'm glad to hear that you have found your time here on 7 cups has helped you to discover, understand and accept yourself. I'm also happy that coming out was a liberating experience for you. While being out may open us up to having hate directed toward us, it can also allow us to more readily let love in when we find it.

Thank you for taking some time to share some of your authentic self with us!
❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

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@EmotionsListener hey I'm not mentioned here

1 reply
User Profile: EmotionsListener
EmotionsListener OP July 15th, 2023

@philosophicalWatermelon6413

If you would like to be tagged in future posts please go to the LGBTQ+ tag list you can go here and follow the directions to be added.

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User Profile: purpleSea7109
purpleSea7109 June 24th, 2023

🎨 rainbow painting.

User Profile: SunShineAlwaysGrateful
SunShineAlwaysGrateful June 24th, 2023

I am pansexual and polyamorous. I have my nesting partner in my husband of 23 years and I have two other partners a couple that I have a lifestyle relationship with and we enjoy kink.


I am not out in my life. Only a few friends know. It isn’t acceptable to be polyamorous or pansexual being married … people generally don’t understand it. Often you are judged.


I run a kink community with my partners and we have had a long standing 6 year relationship. My poly situation is closed. I am not seeking other partners.


I am 57 and my 50s have been very authentic and freeing very much so. I wish I had discovered all of this when I was 20 … but I am grateful I finally did.

1 reply
User Profile: EmotionsListener
EmotionsListener OP July 15th, 2023

@SunShineAlwaysGrateful

Thank you for sharing your story with us, it can take a long time to find what is right for us, but it can be a joy no matter when we find it.
❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

1 reply
User Profile: SunShineAlwaysGrateful
SunShineAlwaysGrateful July 15th, 2023

@EmotionsListener

Thank you absolutely 💯 🙌🙌💯💯🙌

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User Profile: purpleSea7109
purpleSea7109 July 27th, 2023

@SunShineAlwaysGratefulcc

Does not matter what you are i still your friend. How does it feel being like that?

Click on my name anytime. I am just a click away.Xx thanks,for sharing. How,ru?

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