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Men's Issues Automated Taglist
by tommy
Last post
May 22nd, 2025
May 22nd, 2025
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Welcome to the Men's Issues Taglist
This thread is an auto-updating list. The list is regularly updated by forum leaders and can be found below. Having issues? Reply to this thread and someone will help you!
Why should I join the taglist?
✔ Never miss out on sub-community check-ins, discussions or events
✔ Get tagged and notified by community leaders whenever a new relevant thread has been posted
✔ Become a more active member of the community.
What do I need to do?
✅ To add yourself to this taglist, press the Post to Thread button below and write the exact words Please add me.
❌ To remove yourself from this taglist, press the Post to Thread button below and write the exact words Please remove me.
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Current taglist
Personal Growth and Dating
by Alongstory23
Last post
1 day ago
1 day ago
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I want to start a thread that I hope can accomplish 2 things. 1) Be a bit of a journal for myself to chronicle the work I am doing in my dating and social life in a semi-public space and 2) Be a place where other men can see my process, learn from it, offer counsel or advice and hopefully help them in their own dating lives.
Right now I predominately do not use dating apps and intend to keep it that way. I meet people through friends, running (run clubs) and volleyball. I'd like to branch out and meet people in even more activities than these, but its a good start.
In this process I want to become less judgemental, more courageous, and more generous. Let's start with that.
Listener Available
by YourHelper7862
Last post
June 24th
June 24th
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Hi,
I am available for listening all issues related to any field without any judgement.I can give you full plan how to cure your any bad addiction or also can listen anyone .I hope you will talk with me surely.
Thankyou
Can therapy really help a man who hates women?
by redSpruce1621
Last post
June 8th
June 8th
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TRIGGER ALERT 🚨 ‼️
This is a very triggering post especially if you are female, don’t read if you are sensitive .
My situation is quite complicated .
I’m very learned, exposed and very self aware of my own thinking. I feel like therapy cannot help me because I’m constantly being faced by females who justify my hatred towards them.
I have been practicing self care for years without missing a single day , journaling , meditation, mood and sleep tracking , gratitude , you name it !
But the issue here is I’m surrounded by a lot of *** females. People who do not care for their mental health as much as I do and it does affect me !
I hate the way I hate females but I see through all their actions and just see clearly how much of a piece of *** most of them are without mincing words .
Including my sisters and my mum, they are a real piece of *** and I mean that objectively with a very clear mind . Even though they have their good sides , they have failed to do necessary things for me (which makes it ***) and I don’t think I will ever forgive them as soon as I’m set free from all of them.
Apart from the emotional damage I have received from family and friends alike , there is also the issue of self imposed emotional damage I exposed myself to in the process of wanting to understand women. I literally interacted with close to 600 women on dating apps , just to document their behavior towards me and build a predictive model for their behavior , that left me with a very mixed and rich source of experience that I can’t even tell if it was damaging or developing me ! I have had different sexual encounters (mostly online ) with all sorts of women: the good the bad and the ugly, I have encountered all sorts of personalities that nothing surprises me anymore! It just gives me the overall conclusion that women are generally *** set of humans even though there are some really amazing ones among them, we have some really really evil ones and that’s not an exaggeration.
All of these coupled with the fact that I have social anxiety issue in which I cannot approach people in real life without fear ! So perhaps I was making up for that deficiency (I’m currently working on my social anxiety through exposure therapy plan I drafted by myself, I’m not a psychologist tho but I read a lot) . I ended up having myself a pile of matches on dating apps (in the thousands ) and that made me feel elated until it no longer had any meaning.
I then started making females do all sorts for me within few days of talking to them , just for me to feel desired by females ! Could be a self esteem issue I don’t know because people do tell me I am over confident , so I don’t know .
Another issue compounding this is that I have little to no social support system and that is compounded by the fact that I have an argumentative personality naturally so people tend to stay away from me generally speaking . Plus I was never told by anyone the importance of having one’s personal circle of friends so I never did , just focused on my education and career , what a terrible upbringing !
So now I’m in such a mess, that I promised myself not to get married or have children and even if I decided to , none of my parents must be alive to witness it , I would wait till they are no more , that’s as much hatred as I have towards them too for bringing me up in such emotional abandonment, and i still feel abandoned till now !
Now I’m reading books about females to understand how they think , how they choose their life partners , how they choose who to sleep with and so many more just to really get in deep into their psychological inner workings , you know you hate what you don’t understand, so maybe by understanding women I will hate them a tiny bit less , books like “Come as you are” by Emily Nagoski, among other well known books that explain women.
Honestly I feel like therapy will be a complete waste of my time and money because whatever is done in therapy would be undone in real life interactions with females.
I still keep meeting females who would act like they are being kind to me before inadvertently revealing their expectations of some returns from such interactions .
I do have a belief that women are not capable of loving a man, as in, it’s IMPOSSIBLE for a woman to love a man. They simply stay with men for survival and that idea really *** me up in that I cant form a relationship with a lady without having it at the back of my mind that this lady would leave if she isn’t getting what she wants from the relationship. There really is no real love out there , not even from mum that’s crazy .
How could therapy help me in this case? Which therapist has the knowledge and skills enough to help in this case?
Male self image advice
by resourcefulFriend2347
Last post
February 21st
February 21st
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I am a 43 year old man and think I look gaunt. My hairs starting to go a bit at the front, think I ought to buzz it off but not with this complexion.
I would like to put on a few pounds in a healthy way. The thought of a big gym programme and a drastic food increase feels a bit overwhelming.
I struggle to visit the gym early. It's pretty cold when I wake up, don't see me having the get up and go to start before work.
I was raised on a pretty bland diet, and don't eat well. Picked up a few recipe books, but wonder when I'm going to be able to fit in all the cooking after a days work. TBH a lot of the time I look at the recipes and think "I won't get on with that".
A lot of folk recommend batch cooking. The only think I've worked out how to do is a chilli recipe.
Any hints to assist me, my confidence is pretty low.
Just found out Wife dated an old man
by toughClementine5697
Last post
January 28th
January 28th
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we got married in oct to a woman of my dream and felt like a winnner only to find out that she dated a 54 y.o. man before me. we are 28 and 29 each. And she met with while I was gone out of town, not 1-1 but still dropped in to his event.
the 2 separate issues are:
1. I am disgusted by the fact that she dated an old man and wanted a family with him. This flips my image of her completely.
2. I feel betrayed cuz she secretly met him when I was gone
I feel betrayed and want to divorce, but we have a baby on the way, so I feel trapped.
What do I do? It's been a month since I found out, and even though we talked through it, the trauma isn't going away.
Porn addiction
by diplomaticBranch2555
Last post
January 23rd
January 23rd
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Hi all,
so just a quick background I am a 25y/o straight male from the UK, I have been in a relationship for just coming up to a year.
It honestly doesn’t seem to matter where I am or what I am doing, I can be at work and I feel like I could bust one out (never have). However it doesn’t seem to just stop there because it really doesn’t matter what I seem to watch or look at, you name a category and I have probably watched it; trans, gay, straight, ect and ect. Again straight male. This includes only fans, pornhub and X(twitter), where I tend to get lost flicking through hashtags.
Now don’t get me wrong my girlfriend is incredible at everything she does but we don’t actually live together yet, come the new year we are planning on getting a place together. I really don’t want to be sneaking off to the bath room the crank one out before bed or to be lay in bed next to her while I have a browse at what’s going on, on X.
This has probably been going on for a couple of years now and I just feel like it need to stop. It’s not even that I want to do it any more it’s just about of habit.
Any suggestion or help much would be appreciated!
International Men’s Day
by Optimisticempath
Last post
November 19th, 2025
November 19th, 2025
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Hi everyone 💙💙
I just wanted to take a moment in wishing every human identifying themself as a male … a vv happy international men’s day 💙
To the men and male-identifying individuals in our 7 Cups community:
🤗 We see your strength, not just in what you endure, but in your courage to be vulnerable.
💙 We honor your contributions, not just in providing, but in your capacity to care, listen, and support.
🤗 We value your presence, especially when you choose to reach out for help or lend an ear to another.
In a world that often teaches you to stand alone and stand courageous, remember this:
Your emotional health is your truest strength. Asking for support is not a sign of weakness…. it is the ultimate act of self-respect and courageeee! You inspire others when you are being yourself… the you that you were before the society told you how you should be!!!
Thank you for showing up for your friends, for your family, and for this community.
To every human who is trying to be a better person for themself and others… you are appreciated! You are valued. You are enough. You are not alone.
You really are and if no one else has told you this in sometime then please let this be your reminder and I also hope you will remind yourself of how amazing you are not just today but everyday 💙💙💙💙
Hypersexuality
by KhaiLacey04
Last post
September 30th, 2025
September 30th, 2025
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Hey, just wanted to see if there was anyone dealing with the same issues I am. I’m a 20-year-old male quite attractive straight, Good job money anything I can ask for but I simply cannot come and all I wanna do is the most kinky *** but That’s not how I view myself and then I’ll just watch the weirdest porn And honestly, I have a lot of like women ways of thinking like super manipulative not to be rude at all and just like yeah the way I do like sex and masturbation I’m super super casual and I haven’t met any guys without a ego really like myself
I cant get girls
by GoldenRuleJG
Last post
September 23rd, 2025
September 23rd, 2025
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I Can’t Get Girls – post
TRIGGER WARNING:
Before reading this post, I would like to share that this content will include information related to pornography addiction and its psychological impact. If you have had experience of any type of trauma, be that in childhood or adulthood, please excuse yourself from this post and chat 1-1.
When we find it difficult to get grip with certain emotions loneliness, depression, tiredness, anxiety, stress and anger we can facilitate unhealthy coping mechanisms. Whilst euphoric in the moment feelings of shame, disappointment and disgust are common. The shame can be associated with acquiring knowledge about the lack of safety in the pornography industry which includes sex trafficking. Let’s explore the findings in a qualitative piece of research!
Qualitative research (Dantas and Hanseder, 2023) has highlighted the negative implications of Pornography use on men’s mental health. It was found that on average 11.85 years of age was the earliest in which the Australian males viewed pornography with the same qualitative research highlighting that the motivations behind watching involved peer pressure. One male participant noted about how he perceived women through a lens of objectification rather than who they are as individuals and once there pornography use was reduced they would feel more confident in their sexuality coupled with their approach to women.
Let us now look at the impact of the female significant other indirectly! The cognitive scripts theory suggests that we form a cognitive script behind what should and should not be allowed, how people should and should not react in response to what is and what is not happening and what the outcomes of particular course of action be as noted (Wright 2011, p348). Findings in a quantitative study (Bridges et al 2016) revealed that college men (18-29 years old) that there was a negative association between higher pornography use and enjoyment experienced from sexual intimacy
It’s not all about how the men who struggle cannot get girls! Similar research that was qualitative (Hartini, Setyawati and Suryanto 2020) highlighted that pornography use lead to poor social skills in terms of non-romantic pursuits such as developing and initiating friendships, difficulties in group situations and a preference for spending time alone.
So what does “I can’t get girls” really mean. Sometimes we can feel ashamed to say what we are struggling with and why. The individual can mean this:
- I am not socially confident with women
- I feel lonely
- I will always be unsuccessful in interactions with women
- Women do not respond positively to me
- I feel hurt
- I feel rejected.
How can we find the resources tailored to support even outwith 7 cups?
https://www.relate.org.uk/get-help/porn-addiction Steps you can take based on intervention
https://thetruismcenter.com/healing-together-how-couples-can-address-porn-addiction/ How you can chat to your partner to understand their addiction?
An exercise you and your partner can work on together or separately:
Narrative story exercise - Look through each of your pictures childhood to adulthood – name what your motivations and intentions are in each picture,
What were you feeling? What were your aims and goals? What does trust look like for both of you? What does love feel like for both of you?
Whats the point?
-To explore how we can support individuals struggling with pornography addiction to help them feel safe.
- This resource can be used for members and can be used in chatrooms to facilitate discussion to educate individuals on sensitive matter with warm.
- It's about teaching the individual to connect with the part of themselves that doesn’t feel worthy.
Please tag those who would be interested.
Good mental health always <3
Kindness and love,
GoldenruleJG
Journals used to create content below. You can read the full material here:
Hanseder,S., Dantas, J,A,R., (2023). Males' Lived Experience With Self-Percieved Pornography Addiction: A Qualitative Study of Problematic Porn Use
Setyawati, R., Hartini, N., & Suryanto. (2020). The psychological impacts of internet pornography addiction on adolescents. Humaniora, 11(3), 235-244. https://doi.org/ 10.21512/humaniora.v11i3.6682THE
Finding people
by Thelonewolf806
Last post
September 1st, 2025
September 1st, 2025
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I havnt been single in so long how i do I find women how do I talk to them now after all this heartbreak. Im tired of being alone im 24 got my *** together good *** job idk what to do anymore its like love doesn't exists for me
humiliated
by jimmy1214
Last post
August 25th, 2025
August 25th, 2025
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A girl really broke my heart. She rejected me and immediately got together with another boy who was 10 years older than her, and also humiliated my ap
Am I the only one who feels this way as a man?
by Brainydaps
Last post
July 13th, 2025
July 13th, 2025
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We are constantly being sold the idea of love as something grand, everlasting and forever beautiful.
But it's hardly the case in real life.