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The Saviour Complex in Relationship

User Profile: ouiCherie
ouiCherie December 23rd, 2021

Those with a savior complex are caring to the point that their behavior and actions are heroic. It’s like caring and compassion on the next level. They constantly try to find solutions for other people’s problems, Continually trying to fix others, sacrificing a lot of time, energy, or money. They may go as far as to sacrifice their own needs, comfort and safety


They often fall into toxic relationships and build a codependency relationship. They would endure the emotional pain because more than love and attachment, they also have a great sense of guilt and shame to leave the unhealthy relationship.


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People who naturally have high compassion tend to have this trait. If you see these character traits in you or struggling with this issue, here are some friendly reminders:

  • You matter. Your happiness equally matters.
  • You don’t have to fix anyone. Your listening ears, non-judgmental words, and supportive presence are more than enough.
  • Help as much as you can but don’t drown yourself trying to be everyone else’s anchor.
  • “You are never responsible for the actions of others; you are only responsible for yourself.” - Don Miguel Ruiz in the “Don’t Take Anything Personally” book.
  • And here is a reminder quote from Pema Chödrön: “Compassion is not a relationship between the healer and the wounded. It is a relationship between equals.”


🍀 What tip would you give a friend struggling to overcome saviour complex?





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User Profile: emotionalTalker2260
emotionalTalker2260 December 23rd, 2021

@ouiCherie

What tip would you give a friend struggling to overcome saviour complex?

to take a break when you feel like you need one, not when you are so exhausted you are forced to go on a break due to burnout :0 (remember- it’s okay not to be okay)


2 replies
User Profile: Taqi1
Taqi1 December 23rd, 2021

@emotionalTalker2260

I don't know its real . I might be suffering from this dilemma/saviour complex . Its feel normal or morally obligated to grant the sufferer her wish as pertinence of my existence. No one deserves anything either good or bad. That's my reason to live fulfilled life

1 reply
User Profile: Taqi1
Taqi1 December 23rd, 2021

@Taqi1

Quick addition , its " penitent & pertinent " both

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December 23rd, 2021

@ouiCherie

Well thought and well put Oui. Thank you 🧡

I agree, self care is very important, no matter what else is going on in our lives.

It reminds as that we matter too. That we respect ourselves enough to give ourselves a piece of our own valuable support, time and efforts.

User Profile: LavenderHere
LavenderHere December 23rd, 2021

@ouiCherie

Thank you so much Cherie for such an informative post<3

I think something that might help would be trying to find your self-worth in things that are under your control, like what you like to do instead of fixating it on someone else's behaviour. But that can get really really hard to do at times, and is a process.

Another thing- if you can relate to the post, please try not to blame yourself. Saviour complex can sometimes result from mental illness or unhealthy early relationship patterns, but it can for sure get better. It is something that we can work on<3

Also I would like to share this resource.

1 reply
User Profile: adventurousBranch3786
adventurousBranch3786 December 23rd, 2021

@empatheticLavender2924. Very good article! Thank you.

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User Profile: CheeryMango
CheeryMango December 23rd, 2021

One tip I’d share with a friend struggling with saviour complex is that it’s not your job to save everyone around you and it’s not selfish to put your needs before others 💕

User Profile: adventurousBranch3786
adventurousBranch3786 December 23rd, 2021

@ouiCherie I have suffered from this . Thanks for all the suggestions. One thing that I am doing is reminding myself , that they are adults. Another is that I have the right to say no.

User Profile: Offmytrack
Offmytrack December 23rd, 2021
  • You matter. Your happiness equally matters. Normally I am pretty happy. Last night I dreamed about my late wife.
  • You don’t have to fix anyone. Your listening ears, non-judgmental words, and supportive presence are more than enough. I know, I don't have to fix my daughter.
  • Help as much as you can but don’t drown yourself trying to be everyone else’s anchor. Yeah, I know. My daughter sometimes gets really sleepy, and I don't do much to alieve that.
  • “You are never responsible for the actions of others; you are only responsible for yourself.” - Don Miguel Ruiz in the “Don’t Take Anything Personally” book. I don't take responsibilite for anyone but myself.
  • And here is a reminder quote from Pema Chödrön: “Compassion is not a relationship between the healer and the wounded. It is a relationship between equals.” Yes, that works.
User Profile: pamharley003
pamharley003 December 23rd, 2021

@ouiCherie

What tip would you give a friend struggling to overcome saviour complex?

I would listen to my friend and support them in their time of need. I would tell them to be themselves and not let others give them negative advice or negative words to bring them down. I would like my friend to be themself because we are not always perfect, everyone has mistakes and faults.

User Profile: mytwistedsoul
mytwistedsoul December 23rd, 2021

This is a good article. Tbh - Idk if I do this or not. I've learned to take a step back when I need to and it's not that I think I can fix or save anyone - but I do stick with people and let them know that they're in someone's thoughts - mainly because - I know what it's like to not be heard or to be a thought to anyone -but I try not to go over board with it - Idk

There are people who have made me feel responsible for their actions - which is something I have to fight hard with to not do

User Profile: 777Bre777
777Bre777 December 23rd, 2021

you can't save the world

you need to take care of yourself before even trying to take care of anyone else

User Profile: HealingBrokenWIngs
HealingBrokenWIngs December 24th, 2021

@ouiCherie

Awesome post! Thank you for this!!! <3