Sexting & Censor Reports at 7 Cups - How does it work! And what you should know!
Hello Amazing Community!
I wanted to take a moment to talk about sexting and censor reports at 7 Cups. I believe there has been some rumors and misinformation flying around. So I wanted to tackle this head on and discuss it with you all!
First, its important to keep in mind that sexual experiences are a normal part of the human experience. We shouldn't be ashamed of our sexuality. We are programmed to be sexual and that can be a wonderful and beautiful thing.
When two people make a bond sharing their stories and supporting one another - sometimes the feelings can evolve to include deeper feelings for one another. This is a normal process and something we should not be ashamed to discuss.
This can happen at 7 Cups too. We are here to support one another, but sometimes peoples feelings for one another evolve to something deeper. At 7 Cups, we ask listeners and members to engage in a professional supportive relationship. Similar to a relationship you'd have with a colleague at work.
Despite this, sometimes feelings become deeper and these users engage in a sexual conversations on 7 Cups. 3 years ago, we added censored phrases to our chats. The goal of these censored phrases was twofold:
1) Alert individuals who are attempting to engage in this behavior that it is not appropriate via the in-chat pop-up
2) Flag these listeners and remove them from the site.
The censor reports are used to remove individuals who are engaged in sexual chats on 7 Cups.
Once a listener is removed from the community for a sexual chat, they can apply to have their acct restored. Because we know that sexual encounters are part of the human experience, there are circumstances where we allow listeners who have engaged in sexual chats to return to the community after their rejection. We have specific protocol on how we determine this. I do not want to share the specifics here because i don't want it to ever be used against us. However, I can say this: we do not let someone back more than once (there are no third or fourth tries here) and a certain amount of trust must be established between us and the listener before we give them this second chance. Additionally, we always err on the side of caution. If we have reason to believe someone has been incredibly hurtful or violated many of our community guidelines, we will not allow them back.
If you have specific concerns about this process, you can voice them to me directly in email or PM. I can also answer questions in this thread. I am open to your feedback. Please keep in mind this system has evolved a great deal over the past 3 years and it will continue to evolve to get better. Our goal is to keep the community safe and professional, while still understanding the natural expression of the human experience. And to be clear, sexting of any kind is prohibited in our community.
@Laura
I find this word/phrase censor update good, necessary and especially important!
@Laura
thank you so much for this post! it was much needed!
Thank you Laura
Thank you so much for this post!! This can definitely clear so much up for some people!
I'm glad to see this cleared up :3 I suppose it can be quite a controversial topic, but that's only expected :3
what when we hit those censors because we talk about PAST ABUSES. we are not engaged in sex chats or anything, but i already seen people be rejected because of it??
@TortueDesBois
It always depends. We don't know what words (word combinations) or phrases have been censored.
Hmm.. but I get your point and your concerns
We do know, because those are the phrases that we merely have to change in some way in order to allow the message to get through.
A member recently told me they had tried replacing various parts of their message until they found the phrase that was the problem. Fortunately that member took it well. A member trying to share something distressing would feel rejected—and they'd be right.
I have only seen the censor affect genuine chats in which issues of sexuality happen to have been mentioned. On one occasion it wouldn't let me quote the title of a forum post, which was apparently OK in the public forum but not in a private chat. None of the abusive chatters I've encountered seems to have been troubled by censorship problems.
It's also a little alarming to see the current wording of this thread imply that only listeners can be removed from the site.
Overall, though, I don't find the censor very restrictive. I'm more often surprised by what can be said.
@imjustlikeY0uSDK
@RarelyCharlie
It looks like there is a bit of a misunderstanding, my bad!
I wanted to say that in addition the the already censored words, word combinations and phrases
there will be other new ones added which will be more about the messages which are more obviously
breaking the ToS/ToP or similiar.
It can still be a bit frustrating to extra change a message just because a word was used which, in context, isnt so inappropriate.
Hm
@imjustlikeY0uSDK Actually, it's not about censored words, it does censor certain phrases that could indicate a sexual chat or abusiveness. That's already in place.
@RarelyCharlie Unfortunately, the censored phrases can come up in any chat, even if it's completely appropriate.
As for only listeners being removed, only listeners are told that these chats aren't okay. Members might not completely understand the purpose of the site, and they might not know they can't have these types of chats here. Listeners are told it's not okay, members aren't. Also, members can be banned from the site, but this is stricter for listeners.
@Juniter members can be rejected due to censorship. its already happened to me many times due to chat content. some trauma are sensible, and when english is not your first language, you can use the past tense or future tense instead of past tense in a chat and it looks very bad, lead in misunderstandings that listeners can report or call you of troll, block or ban you. it also tend to hit more the censors.
someone who hit the censors by accident and without know about them will panic more.
someone who want break the rules, will be prudent on their wording and avoiding the censors. they also know more about them and tend to be more on defensive. they will go less directly, so not hit the specific combinaison of words.
@TortueDesBois Of course, I understand that both members and listeners can be rejected due to the censors, that's why they're in place. I didn't say members couldn't be rejected, but that this might be stricter for listeners because those that are intentionally engaging in inappropriate chats (not accidentally being censored in an appropriate chat) will know they shouldn't be doing it. Members aren't told that these sexual chats aren't okay, and they might not realize, at first, that we do not allow that here.
I am sorry that the censors have caused you some difficulty with sharing your past experiences, and I can definitely see how English not being your first language would make that harder for you.
@RarelyCharlie not only rejected. but panicked, censored and observed.
how much a member can panic when they feel that someone else is watching their chat?
what about the one who is stressed out and get accused to do something wrong (break the rules) without know its a censored combinaison of words?
what about the one who feel they can't speak openly about their trauma?
I agree. These are good points.
We have a system that devastates some of the people we most wish to support, and at the same time barely inconveniences the people we most wish to exclude.
@TortueDesBois
This is a little strange to me... Because it seems to presume that if you hit this censor filter, you're engaging in a conversation that is against the TOS. I've had several messages flagged when discussing transitioning with transgendered individuals, for example. I spend *a lot* of time discussing sexuality topics with members, and have been "warned" several times for my comments when trying to discuss normal experiences, details about medical exams and other items of this nature.
I guess I would assume, based on this, that those reports are reviewed and then hopefully determined to not be sexting, but I think it's important to say that not all instances of triggering this censorship are about these kinds of relationships. The censorship filter can sometimes make it very difficult to have a frank discussion about important topics... And I guess my concern would be if there is the assumption that a person that is flagged multiple times for this might be booted regardless of the circumstances of the conversations... thus putting listeners like myself, who talk to a large % of members needing to discuss sexuality, at risk of being banned out.
@Blynng This was sort of terribly written but I hope my concern is clear enough. I would like to err on the side of caution myself.
Perhaps a compromise might be to allow experienced listeners (with the Piper of Dedication badge, for example) to turn the censor off, maybe on a per-chat basis. Then when someone says, "Can we talk about this here?" we can say, "Certainly, I've turned the censor off."
@Blynng
@RarelyCharlie I can easily see that going wrong. Yes, badges like that will mean they're experienced and less likely to engage in inappropriate chats, but that doesn't mean they won't. I don't think that should be an option, especially since the censor really isn't that terrible usually, just rephrase the message.
@RarelyCharlie OH wow, I like this idea! I think it could help a lot and solve some problems but how to make sure that this ability wont be used for a bad cause?
@Blynng All censored messages are reviewed, so if your message is clearly you listening to someone, it'll be alright.
The censor can get it the way at times, definitely, but I've just learned to go around it. Since I've never been censored in any chats with sexual issues, or anything other than depression chats, I wonder what keeps getting censored. Since we offer emotional support here, I don't think the censor would be in the way much if you're focusing on their emotions more.
@Juniter
When discussing things like transitioning for a transsexual person, for example, it *is* supporting their emotional well being to be able to discuss the empowerment of say, wearing certain items of clothing or having their first encounters with partners. I discuss and support pretty complicated topics and have been censored for using words like panties or using casual phrasing to refer to sexual behaviors. When a member is expressing to me fear and trepidation, I definitely want to be able to speak frankly to the topic. Working around censorship more or less defeats the purpose of said censorship. Emotional health and sexual, physical and social health are also all very interconnected; there aren't separate languages and energies for supporting these different aspects of the human condition.
I can recall at least one instances where 5 iterations of my message were blocked in a row and it took me so long to figure out what was wrong with the message that the member, who was struggling in that moment, thought that I had stopped responding. I had to reassure them repeatedly that I had not left.
I have no doubt that there is some review process but I can also see a scenario where a listener that has multiple censorship alerts for sexually explicit content might be booted simply because of the number of alerts, rather than the content of the conversation. It's worth considering, I think.
@Laura Thank you very much Laura. As you know I take alot of sexual abuse, sexual addiction, and stigmatized sexuality chats. They can get very descriptive at times indeed. I try to keep things flowing in a clinical manner, and I am very firm in not letting things get directed at me. There are times when I am trying to explain something and I get flagged, but I do understand this and it causes me to rethink my aproach. I very much apreciate this system, and you have my vote of confidence in it. There are a few times when dealing with a stigmatized sexuality it can flag the discussion and be a slight hinderance, but that too helps us to keep it clinical and focussed on emotions rather than acts. Thanks for the info, best of alle to you and yours. :)
Thanks for this, I had a member in a chat immediately request.....sex chat, not sharing a problem, or worry etc just online sex.... I declined and said this wasn't something I was willing to do but in saying that I wouldn't the phrase got caught by the filter so I think I have a black mark against my name now for saying no........
@MagicCreature157 the context of the sentence is looked at, by ambassadors, so if the message censored was in a negative way, or show that you were not violate the guidelines, you will be fine. but if you get an email about it, then reply the email and explain what is happened. you can keep a screenshot of it "in case" you have to explain, if possible. its even better!
@TortueDesBois thanks, I did keep a screenshot but not heard anything so I assume the review saw that it was ok
Hai laura,
I am really upset due to these inappropriate chats i receive everyday. I sometimes don't know how to handle. Some people misuse this wonderful site. M really upset about it. I have blocked those members.
@Rainypicture93
i get the same chats all the time and I never know how to go about it
@cappuccino9183
Just block them my friend. We are here to listen and support members who needs our support but some people surely misuse it.
@Rainypicture93 I feel that too. So many inappropriate chats. There's always a chance of a genuine chat missing in between. It's sad. And it's not like they start right. They pose a problem and take the conversation there. And I'm just stomped 😶
@wonderfullSong35
Yes they start as if they have a issue and when we ask about it they talk about these things. I kindly told them that we are not here to have these sex chats but they doesn't understand. So i just block them.
