Breaking Out of the Mental Prison

Occasionally, we might find ourselves trapped in a cycle of repeated mistakes or challenges. This can create a feeling of confinement, as if negative emotions are inescapable – a kind of mental or emotional prison.

If you're interested in exploring this theme further, consider watching the movie "The Shawshank Redemption." It's highly rated, but be prepared for some intense scenes.

While prison break movies are entertaining, being the imprisoned character wouldn't be. The path to freedom in these films is often slow, methodical, and reliant on luck. The characters face numerous obstacles that can take years to overcome before they finally achieve liberation. They have to solve a lot of problems to break free.

Inadvertently, I've transformed into a problem connoisseur—someone who deeply values and understands problems and the process of finding solutions.

I engaged in numerous problem-solving activities growing up to support my family. Later, I founded a couple of startups, which are essentially group problem-solving endeavors. Progress is directly proportional to the number of problems solved. Similarly, 7 Cups functions as a collective problem-solving platform. The more problems we solve, the more individuals we assist, and the stronger we grow.

It seems counter-intuitive, but the fastest way to get out of mental prison is to solve the next biggest problem in front of you.

Problems are much stronger than we give them credit for. They are not simply to be avoided; solving them is beneficial to our growth. Problems indicate a lack of understanding or awareness, and they are difficult because we don't know how to solve them. They highlight what we are missing or what we don't quite understand about life. In a way, they are a form of gentle mercy. If ignored, however, they can quickly become more severe. As Oprah said, "first the universe knocks and then it yells” or “small difficulties help us avoid big difficulties.”

I try to prioritize listening to early signals and indications that something might be amiss. When I notice these signals, I try to understand their message. As Jung suggested, symptoms often hold the key to deeper issues. Instead of dismissing our symptoms, we should strive to decode their important messages.

When you solve a problem, your understanding and awareness increase. You learn and grow, expanding your consciousness and developing new skills. With these new skills, you are better equipped to help others who face similar challenges.

Many of us come from families with a lot of challenges. We can inherit these problems in the form of epigenetics (generational trauma is a related idea). We don’t need to get too into the details, but the gist of it is that if our parents and their parents and so on don’t solve their challenges, then they can be passed down to us. If we don’t solve them, then they can be passed along to our children. This is yet another reason to try to solve as many problems as you can so you can be healthy, strong, and set up anyone depending upon you to also thrive.

Think of a mental prison as having a door. The more problems you solve, the less time you have to stay in the prison. If you solve a lot of problems, then you might just be stuck in there for a bit as you puzzle out how to solve the current problem. Once you solve it, you are free to leave. If you don’t solve problems, then it might feel like you are in there all the time. @hope shared a quote: “'The irony of avoiding discomfort is that everything ends up feeling uncomfortable. No one is more uncomfortable than the person who avoids all discomfort.”

It is important to note that not all problems are solvable. Sometimes they are just way too difficult or complex. Other times, the timing just isn’t right - meaning that there might not be enough information available. When that new information does become available, then you can solve the problem. The key is to focus on the problems you can solve.

Here are the stages I’ve gone through in life.
1. I don’t like this problem. I wish it would just go away.
2. This problem is causing me more pain and further restricting my life (prison)
3. Okay I need to solve this problem to get some freedom here.
4. Ohh, interesting, solving that problem gave me a new skill or insight that I wasn’t expecting.
5. Okay, cool, solving these problems helps me help others solve their problems.
6. I still don’t love problem solving, especially unexpected problems that surprise me.
7. Hmm, even these unexpected problems are good.
8. Woah, problems are actually really helpful.
9. The more problems I solve the more aware, free, and conscious I become.
10. Actively trying to see problems as good because I know they will help me grow and learn how to better help others. 

One title for this post was going to be Advanced Resiliency Medicine (ARM💪) The core idea was looking at life’s problems as holding a secret message. The secret message is hidden in the people and circumstances in the challenge. The message has to be decoded in order to unlock the Advanced Resilience, Medicine (ARM💪) it holds. The ARM is what heals and strengthens you, preparing you for the next challenge.

• Advanced - because personalized or tailored to your unique skills and level in life. 

• Resiliency - because it breaks you down where you are weak to expose bad assumptions. 

• Medicine - because it heals you and allows you to use the energy that was previously hurting you prior to solving the challenge. 

The key point is that problems get a bad wrap. They are holding secret information that is tailored just for us. When we solve them we heal and get smarter - more aware/conscious/insightful - and we are then better able to help others.

All of the above is on an individual level, but the same thing happens on a group/community/collective level as well. Our community is made up of people. When we solve our own problems, we become better at helping others. When this happens across an entire community, all of the people in the community - and the community as a whole - gets much smarter and more aware and able to solve problems. We grow as individuals when we solve problems and we grow as a community when we solve problems.

Try this activity to understand the problem solving process while applying it in real time:

1. Identify the Problem: Recognize how the problem is affecting your life. Stick to facts. 

2. Define Goals: Decide what you want to achieve. Be specific

3. Brainstorm Solutions: Come up with different strategies - there are no right or wrong answers and you can be as creative as you like

4. Evaluate Your Options: What are the pros and cons of each solution?

5. Make a Plan: Choose the best/easiest solution to follow 

6. Follow Through: Commit to trying the selected solution for X time, at least 1-2 weeks.

7. Review and Adjust: What did you learn? Regularly assess how the solution went for you and make any adjustments - you can also pick alternative solutions to test the process with once again.

Please share any thoughts, comments, and reflections below. We will also be adding a new focus on problem solving with a couple of groups / discussions focused on it in the not too distant future. 

Also, if you have a challenge and you’d like help thinking through how to solve it, then please post here and we’ll help. Or, if you are already working on a problem and just want some encouragement, then know we are here for you and will cheer you on!