Drink from the Nourishing Cup!
There are two ways of healing, recovering and making progress in life.The first is to do things that are good; the second is to take away things that are bad. Many of us have a bias towards “doing something” because it feels like doing something is good (quick look busy!). However, sometimes we can heal faster or make more progress by removing bad or harmful things. For example, starting to walk a couple of days a week would be doing something good, whereas eating less pizza would be an example of removing something that would increase your overall health.
Credit to @obs for creating this image!
This is sometimes called via negativa or improving things through subtraction. We all know that eating too much, drinking too much, spending too much time on social media, or reading the news constantly is not good for us. It is hard to not have that last cookie. Or, because we have hunter gatherer brains, it is tough to not look at social media because we might miss something important - even though there is very little that is critical to be found on social media.
I was trying to think of a brain hack that might help address this challenge. Getting something (the cookie) feels good in the moment even if it is ultimately not so good. When we don’t actively get something it can feel like we are missing out. One idea that I wanted to share is the idea of drinking from the nourishing cup. What if we gave ourselves something good when we removed something harmful?
Here are a couple of examples:
--I do not eat the sweet (and I love sweets) and instead make a cup of herbal tea. As I’m drinking the tea, I meditate on the idea that I just gave my body a break and helped myself become a little healthier by not eating the sweet. I gave myself an extra boost of health as symoblized by drinking from the nourishing cup.
--I reduce my social media/news by 30 minutes a day. Instead, during that time, I drink my nourishing cup of tea and realize that I just gave my brain a sense of clarity and rest, because I removed the distractions.
--another example of this is intermittent fasting. I do the 5:2 diet where I eat regularly 5 days a week and limit my calories on 2 days. When we fast, we enable our body to use energy to eat up bad cells instead of spending that energy metabolizing food. A good way to start with this is to just try to bump the first time you eat up in the morning. If you normally eat at 8am, then try to eat at 8:30, and then 9 etc. The longer you go the more your body uses that energy to get rid of cells that can cause inflammation and cancer etc. On days I fast, I’m normally pretty hungry right around dinner time. I eat a small dinner and then drink a nourishing cup of chamomile tea to remind myself that I gained something by helping my body heal
@soulfullyabutterfly helped me with this post and made a great recommendation. Drink from the nourishing cup - the same mug or the same replacement behavior - to help your brain learn to reinforce the idea that you are getting something nourishing when you remove something harmful. Repetition helps a lot. I’m going to keep my mug out and visible so I can see it to be triggered to remember to drink from the nourishing cup.
Another key idea here is to just start small. Small steps - no step is too small! - help us move forward. Asking too much of ourselves or trying to be perfect in this process will not help. Instead, just take one small step at a time and you’ll get there.
I would welcome anyone who wants to try this out with me to see how it goes. I plan to do it more deliberately in the next couple of weeks. Want to join? If yes, and if you feel comfortable sharing, outline the item you are removing and how you plan to replace it. Please also share any thoughts on how we can improve on this idea and make it more helpful. It still feels too complicated to me and I’m struggling with how to simplify it. Thank you!
@GlenM
Remove fizzy drinks and replace it with water since they are addicting and not good for you :p
@KyleBorg Excellent recommendation! This is the exact kind of thing I'm talking about :)
@GlenM
Thx for this wonderful post. Though have been doing this subtraction for a healthy lifestyle, never knew there a term for it " negativa".
These days-
- i have removed sweets n fried stuff by 70% from my diet
- removed aerated drinks , n supplemented with herbal tea
_ reduced screen time by 30 min to make time for a hardbound book
I have , in my experience, felt more confident by practicing this subtraction method
@blissart so good! And congrats on all of the progress! I'm also working on spending less time on screens and more time with physical books. Thank you for sharing!
Looking forward to reading everyone's ideas and progress! Thank you for sharing this post @GlenM
@GlenM try to remove red meat and processed meat from your diet, if you consume meat =p
@f1nd3rzk33p3rz thanks for the recommendation! Every step helps!
@GlenM of course! <3
@GlenM thanks for this idea. I find that once I vent for a while that it does not actually make me feel better. I actually feel like I am opening up old wounds. So I have been experimenting with trying to express the emotions I have in different ways. So If I feel emotions like anger or anxiety arising, I try to take a deep breath and give myself a few seconds to ask myself "do I really want to say this? What is going to be the consequences in this relationship? How did I feel last time I really let the anger take over?" So that is refraining or choosing to not let emotions take over.
From there I try to find new ways to wait out these feelings and sometimes I can just out-wait the urge to get angry [IE Urge Surfing] Sometimes I tell someone "Can we talk about this later please?" and go and have some time to calm down. There are many ways to do this and everyone has their own ways of calming down. Exercise, a nap, having nutritious food, and even taking a shower work for me.
So for me, feeling better starts from refraining from a habit that does not help me feel better and substituting an activity that does. I call this reinventing myself because I am actually building a new life for myself one step at a time. Getting stuck in the same old habits was actually contributing to me not feeling good. By reinventing the way I respond to emotions and impulses, I actually feel more in control of my life and not run ragged by old habits that keep wearing me down.
@soulsings love this soul and resonate with the idea of reinventing ourselves one step at a time. reminds me of how all of our cells are replaced every 7 years so that we literally have entirely new selves. I also like your idea of becoming aware of and then letting go of old habits that no longer work - moving from auto-pilot to a more conscious way of being. Thank you for sharing!
@GlenM you are welcome!
How about mental issues? Painful memories? The ones that might become part of how you perceive others (whether or nor your intuition is right), self defense mechanisms that have protected you once but now might limit you to truly be?
I have gone through a lot the last couple of years. Hurting, and being hurt. So I do little things like breathing exercises, Tai Chi, mindfulness. If I watch a movie that pops up a memory and I feel sadness coming up, I cry and embrace the pain I feel.
I am a very sensitive and rather emotional person. I have a choice. Protect myself, by staying away from people that raise "negative" emotions. Or tell myself, "I cannot change them, but I can listen and feel in love, and embrace pain, let it in, and let it go".
Hurtful experiences can stick with you a long time. Even for the rest of your life, even into another lifetime. And that is OK. Let them however not limit your life.
There is a saying "time will heal all wounds". I say "space will heal all wound" (and yes, a wound might never really totally heal, and that is OK). Just try to be aware.
And yes, psychical well-being does matter too. I try to "feel" whether something I eat might not benefit me. Like "let's eat less meat, how does that feel, hmm, feels better, let's stick with less meat".
Changes are simple, as long as you don't start thinking on it. Feel, and use common sense. Be self.
@dukeofdearham a lot of wisdom in this post. your approach reminds me of acceptance and commitment therapy. sometimes it is indeed better to accept the pain and let it pass (like a cloud in the sky) than to hang on it or utilize a lot of energy avoiding it. I also like your emphasis on simple steps. One day at a time!
Hello everyone, it is a good idea to replace bad habits with good ones, whether they are habits in food or in behaviour, and I will start from today by changing my eating habits and reducing sweets and bread
@Zahraa000 smart idea! and like the idea of taking a small habit based approach where we switch out a bad habit for a better one. Keep us updated on how it goes!
@GlenM
Instead of sitting around, i am now getting more exercise whether it’s dancing, swimming or walking 😊 i enjoy them all. But my favourite is probably walking as i can walk with music playing that sets the pace i walk which is fun.
@emotionalTalker2260 I love walking too and lots of interesting research that shows how walking helps people to better process and think through things.
@GlenM
I did not know that 😀 now I’m motivated to go for more walks (:
@GlenM
A lovely and informative post ! Sometimes we think that performing new habits is only needed, but it's also important to stay away from the bad ones too. Thank you for pointing it out Glen.
I've heard of the 5:2 fasting method, and I try to follow that as much as I can ☺️
Another example would be using dried fruits / almonds to eat if you're suddenly craving to munch something like potato chips. That's sounds like a healthy substitute for me
@blissfulForest7074 let me know how it goes! and good call on dried fruit!
@GlenM thank you for sharing this post. This truly is a gem.
@Wildarkberry thank you!
