Post-Traumatic Growth
We all go through hard times in life. How we cope with those hard times, crises, or traumatic events impacts us. It changes us. There is a new field that looks at how people become stronger on the other side of overcoming major challenges. Calhoun and Tedeschi (2013) call this post-traumatic growth and define it as
I can see where this idea comes from and I am sure it has been true for many people in their lives. As a listener on 7 Cups of Tea, I am glad that have more knowledge on this subject, as it may help me to improve my understanding of certain people and their situations.I think that which is most helpful for me is to better understand how this phenomenon changes the way they view themselves, others, and everything else, in a general sense.
That all being said, having witnessed people overcome serious traumas, I can say that post traumatic growth does not happen to everyone as described here. I feel that I have known many people who have overcome their traumas and do not end up growing positively in the ways mentioned above. For example, the claim that post traumatic growth encourages people to be able to deal with the little things better is something that I have not seen - I have seen the opposite.
Trauma is something that "rewires" the brain. For the better? Perhaps - yet I think there needs to be much more research on this topic.
Just my thoughts on the topic!
@tranqullSong72, yes, totally agree, the authors are careful to clarify that this does not apply to all people who experience trauma - only to the people that experience and overcome trauma.
@tranquilsong72 @glenM the key word there seems to be "growth." Not everyone's post-traumatic experience involves growth, but this seems to be a description of how growth can occur in the wake of trauma.
You have pointed out the very right thing. Growth is what really matters. Otherwise most of the population suffers destructive changes.
I can tell you how I cope. I keep all my emotions bottle up and to my self. Because 7 years of my life were horrible so I learned to keep to my self.
Nayaybell13, I can hear you on that. Bottling emotions is how we cope when we cannot find a way to express them appropriately and positively.
It is an opportunity to take the energy bottled up in trying to control anxieties and emotions, and finding a way to express those in a way that brings more joy than ever thought was possible trying to bottle it all up.
7COT has many ways to help with that unbottling and redirecting energies. Hope you find some of them.
Glen thank you for sharing this new outlook. I have seen cases of people struggling for decades and coming out on top. I have seen the other situation with struggles for decades and coming out on the bottom or bitter and feeling resentful of life.
To me the difference is in the kind of attitude an individual cultivates and how they face their demons or challenges. Running from what causes us fear or discomfort makes us a victim. Girding our courage and turning to face our greatest fears is a tough road, but one that is often a post traumatic success story.
Here is my motto. Never, ever give up on myself. And on others either, only have patience and that alone will make my own way easier.
Thank you @soulsings. I think you have summarized this so well.And in our understanding of this, we can be encouraged to sit with people for as long as it takes them to face their fears. Lets not give up on ourselves or others.
Funny I'm seeing this now, as I was just reading an article about how trauma changes everything neurologically! This was really interesting :D Thank you so much for posting!
Thank you very much for this post. I know there has been extensive research on the ways that trauma impacts the brain, especially during youth. I hear a lot of people on 7cups that have been through traumatic experiences and have grown tremendously since their initial trauma. However, I've also seen people permanently bogged down by trauma, even decades later. There is no way to tell, that I know of, if someone will be affected by trauma in a certain way. I think it takes a high degree of emotional maturity to deal with having a traumatic experience in the past, and people of all ages reach that emotional maturity at different rates. That's why it's so hard to tell someone you don't know that they'll feel better in "a little while" or "once this is all over." You can never know for certain, and while you want to inspire hope, you don't want to inspire false hope. Sometimes it's the completely wrong thing to tell someone, "you'll be a better person for going through this trauma." Because that's not their truth, not at that time. So a word of caution there.
I think the things that @glen said in the article are very interesting. I have overcome many traumas in my life . I had a traumatic childhood and adulthood. For me everything in this article rings true. And I have been helped by a good listener on 7 cups of tea. So thank you 7 cups! It's now my turn to give back and help others.
I love this perspective for sure!
I am glad that it was mentioned that not everyone who goes through something traumatic comes out more resilient... but at the same time, while we're all still alive, who's to say we can't grow and heal and strengthen and build up some of that resilience!
I am very very much smack bang in the middle of my journey, but already, I can understand each of these three area's, and if I do not already feel stronger in these area's, I am for sure aiming towards building some strength here!
1. It changes the way a person sees themselves - ABSOLUTELY! With my particular trauma, I hold onto a lot of guilt and shame, which I am working through... BUT... if it wasn't for my trauma, and the events that followed, I would not be half the person I am today! I have gained so much confidence, independence, empathy and understand! I love myself! No doubt about it! And I love who I am becoming through this journey!
2. It changes the way people see relationships - I love this one... because I'm not too sure if what happened to me has directly changed the way I view relationships... but it definitely has lead me down a path where I have become more aware of myself, and in turn more aware of others around me. It has also taken me down a path of finding 7cups, where I am learning more and more daily about how to strengthen my relationship with people around me!
3. It changes the way people see life - Not really for me... Life has always been this beautiful fragile thing for me. It definitely changed the way I viewed moments in time, or opportunities, but life as a whole remained just the same.
I love reading different perspectives on this, and hearing different peoples opinions, as well as sharing mine!
And the beautiful thing is, we are all so marvelously different, and not one of our experiences are the same, so the way we deal with them, and perceive the world before and after them will also be beautifully different! And that's okay!
That's why I love this world, because of all the amazing individuals in it!
I think your post was very detailed and thoughtful. I wonder how it feels for someone who's gone through trauma and is not yet completely recovered. Because your perspective seems to demonstrate that when you've reached the stage in recovery of acceptance and moved past the trauma, those traumatic experiences definitely result in yourself bettering yourself through the hard work and dedication to getting better. I understand that you've learned a lot about yourself and I'm so happy for you.
My word of caution is this: the majority of survivors of traumatic experiences that come onto 7cups are not at this stage of feeling better about themselves. They're reaching out for help because they are struggling. So saying that you'll feel better about yourself once you've reached the end of recovery can be quite invalidating to what they're saying now- about the depression, panic, anxiety, nightmares etc.
Again, I thank you for this post. It really made me contemplate the nature of trauma and it's potential to better a person through bringing out a person's inherent capabilities and strengths, magnified. I appreciate the thoughtfulness of your writing on this subject and I commend you for surviving all that you've been through. You seem like a very strong person indeed.
I've been in depression all my life some days are better than others and just when I think I'm past that one something else happens and I end up back at the beginning again so it feels like a never ending battle I've tried all the MED's to help but they made it worse so down I went AGAIN so I tried group support but that really didn't work either then I found 7 cups of tea and now I'm learning more about how this work's and I'm learning that I can help myself by helping others I am stronger for what I went through but I'm also weaker for bottling it up and crumbling as I said it never ends but at least I'm learning now thanks to everyone here
i have coping skills , but ive not yet seemd to use them anymore they dont work or keep me occupied i have to live and learn get the help i need
Beneficial article. If it is explain in more easy language, it has higher impact.