January 10 - Animal icons live across the site: Forums, chatrooms, profiles & usercards!
January 10 - Animal icons live across the site: Forums, chatrooms, profiles & usercards! Yay, they are so cute!
Learn more about this update here!
Find your join month animal assigment below!
January - Dolphin - get to know other dophins here
February - Penguin - Get to know other penguins here
March - Horse - Get to know other Horses here
April - Camel - get to know other camels here
May - Elephant - get to know other elephants here
June - Kangaroo - get to know other Kangaroos here
July - Star fish - get to know other starfish here
August - Fish - get to know other Fish here
Sept - Bunny - get to know other Bunnies here
Oct - Eagle - get to know other Eagles here
Nov - Butterfly - get to know other Butterflies here
Dec - Turtle - get to know other turtles here
Okay, finally can write this! So, gathering my personal opinions and reading up, heres some big things
Opt Out Feature
Color
Animal Selection
Placement of Animals
Opt Out Feature- This seems extremely important to a lot of us. Not everyone is comfortable with this and we should respect that. We should give an option to turn it off. Some are triggered by certain animals and thats okay! Some dont care for this update and thats okay too. I think a lot of us just want to be able to.
Color- So, for me personally, I really feel like we should do realistic colors the best possible. A green turtle, brown bunny, etc! I also see the color red being used a lot; perhaps we can try to make it so its not blood red? :p
Animal Selection- I am seeing a trend of complaints about some of the said animals. Im wondering if we could do a polling option (of animals that are possible) so we are more happy with what we have near us? May give more buy in!
Placements of Animals- I think that these should stay only on the forums and if its necessary to keep them in the chatrooms, I feel we should have them after badges. Kind of how the leaf is. Side note: Can we please make the dolphin smaller? Its way too big compared to the rest! :P
@Erica I totally agree with all of this. I just feel that if they must be in place, they really need some changes.
@Erica I love these suggestions, and I also agree that the dolphin is a tad too big compared to the other animals :-)
@Erica Great summary. I feel like that accurately represents most of the feedback I've been seeing. This is the beginning of this update so I wouldn't be surprised if they do implement changes soon - because there needs to be changes.
@Laura wowy
Meh. Not a fan or concerned about these changes but ey you all enjoy yourselves and maybe not dig too deep into a couple of minute animal icons at the side of an alias.
At the reality of the matter it's not done to offended but it is actually up to you to create a meaning on this frivolous entity. Example one view an elephant as some dig on weight but to another an elephant is regarded as an intelligent sacred creature. At the end of the day it's just an image at the side created using codes corresponding to the date you joined the site. No biggy.
@workingm true but it's not helping anyway at all!
@workingman At the end of the day they've produced another useless feature with time that could have been spent attacking the embarrassing spam issue, or setting up quality control of listeners/mods, etc.
@Phthalo
Truthfully, it also has no use to me (at a personal level) and I see no deep usage for the feature, however, maybe others found use for it and it seems they've found an enjoyment for it (only basing that on what I've observed in the chatroom). I guess it depends on the individual's personal meaning added to it. At the end of the day it's done so I guess hopefully they'll get to the other things you've mentioned in time.
Seeing this active and some other comments, more feedback from me:
- Take it out of the chatrooms
It's on the usercards, so it's accessible in there already
- Remove the link
Why would I want to go to a bunch of these threads when they don't related to me?
- Get rid of the animals, switch to month abbreviations
It makes it more difficult to determine the purpose and most people are not going to remember the 12 in order. Plus people are bringing up issues of being associated with an animal. It also feels a little juvenille IMO.
- Add in something to show the year
This can be accomplished via colour or just by putting the year with the month.
If the point is to group people who have joined together, shouldn't we have something to identify the year? With this 2 people could join a day apart and be in separate groups, but someone who joins 4 years after another be in the same group. If you want to group by months and have different years, fine. But at least make it possible to identify the year to.
- Placement
I think if we do the month format, it could be written under the profile pictures. No matter the format, if it stays in the chat rooms the placement needs to change, it's weird to have it before the timestamps with all the other stuff after.
Current in chat rooms: name M/L animal timestamp badges mute/refer sustainability icon
This order feels a little all over the place and it makes it difficult to follow something like timestamps - especially as they aren't always present, they seem to stick for a few minutes and then disappear.
@AffyAvo
Love this idea! :)
One thing I love about this update is that it
@owengiraffe
Great notes and feedback here Owen. Thank you for focusing on how this is a community centered feature. I appreicate this point in particular. Especially as we push folks to join our subcommunities more and more, its incredibly important to maintain our global sense of community. We are all one big tribe after all. This is one way to do that!
Thank you!
Luvly pic's but seriously there are bigger problems to address than getting a bloody animal sticker/badge like really!! The site seems to be losing its touch!!
I'm sorry so many of you can't understand what it's like to have almost everything you know taken from you, and to struggle every day to hold onto what personal identity you have left. You should feel grateful you don't know this woe. I'm also sorry you seem to lack compassion for what I have been through and have no respect for my beliefs, feelings, or my culture. If you can't be supportive and compassionate you should be silent. It's also offensive that some would speak about me indirectly and have questions, but not treat me with the respect to directly speak to me or ask me your questions.
I feel so isolated now. So far from my home and those I belong with.
I'm out of this thread.
@Raveninthelabrynth
I think that many have experiences, best not to assume that they dont. Noone really knows what problems each individual has, only that each is going through something.
An additional icon on at chatsite doesn't define you or take away or add to your identity. That's just the root really. I guess it's a personal thing you have to assess and realise.
@workingman Thank you for making me feel invalid
never speak to me again
@Raveninthelabrynth
I said nothing rude or offensive. However, whatever negativity you've placed on my words are I guess your free-will. Take care.
@workingman
Your last paragraph is invalidating; it comes across as saying that your opinion is more valid than Raven's and that the onus is on them to realize it.
Raven has been going out of their way to explain why the animal additions bother them on a deeply emotional level, and I've been disappointed to see how people, members and listeners alike, have been telling them why it shouldn't bother them.
(Sorry Raven, I don't know your preferred pronouns so I used they/them).
@UnlearningToBeMyself
Invalidating: make or prove (an argument, statement or theory) unsound or erroneous.
I am in the position to add clarity to my own statement as I'm the one who said it. It's not marked as an opinion. Can you prove that this icon/image adds a new definition to an individual (or me)? What does it take away from someone's (or my) individuality or personality? If you can then it means that this turtle added to my profile has changed me or changed the persception others have of me, if so then please outline to me what it is.
The reality remains that it does not and it can not, but it's the person who adds or take away. Your own statement further outlines this when you state that it is based on 'emotional level' (something I didn't go into and which I think is private). It is only up to an individual to add meaning to an entity or not to add, which is what I stated in my last paragraph.
On a side note, I do not accept someone else's negative interpretation of a statement I make but I do accept it as their choice to do so. I also have not made any statements towards anyone telling that individual how to feel or what they should feel.
Everyone 'feels' differently on this playful image thing, should we not accept reality and intent of the creator of the code first before placing our interpretations seeing that your interpretation will 'invalidate' someone's interpretation etc in a loop.
@workingman This is what I mean by invalidation; I highly encourage you to read here to learn more: https://eqi.org/invalid.htm
"Invalidation is to reject, ignore, mock, tease, judge, or diminish someone's feelings. It is an attempt to control how they feel and for how long they feel it.
When we are invalidated by having our feelings repudiated, we are attacked at the deepest level possible, since our feelings are the innermost expression of our individual identities.
People with high IQ and low EQ tend to use logic to address emotional issues. They may say, "You are not being rational. There is no reason for you to feel the way you do. Let's look at the facts." Businesses, for example, and "professionals" are traditionally out of balance towards logic at the expense of emotions. This tends to alienate people and diminish their potential.
Actually, all emotions do have a basis in reality, and feelings are facts, fleeting though they may be. But trying to dress an emotional wound, with logic tends to either confuse, sadden or infuriate a person. Or it may eventually isolate them from their feelings, with a resulting loss of major part of their natural intelligence."
Your primary role as a listener at 7 Cups, whether in chats or in the forums, is active listening. This involves empathy, reflecting, and asking open questions, which are all activities of emotional validation.
From the same website, here is a description of validation: https://core.eqi.org/valid.htm
"To validate someone's feelings is first to accept their feelings. Next, it is to understand them, and finally it is to nurture them.
To validate is to acknowledge and accept one's unique identity and individuality. Invalidation, on the other hand, is to reject, ignore, or judge their feelings, and hence, their individual identity.
When we validate someone, we allow them to safely share their feelings and thoughts. We are reassuring them that it is okay to have the feelings they have. We are demonstrating that we will still accept them after they have shared their feelings. We let them know that we respect their perception of things at that moment. We help them feel heard, acknowledged, understood and accepted."
So in response to your question of what you should be doing in response to members who are expressing their emotions in regards to this site change, my answer is that, as a listener, you should first and foremost practice active listening, empathy, and validation. The most important thing is to fulfill your role in supporting the members on this site and acknowledging their feelings. Members too should also do their best to acknowledge and support each other's feelings as part of being part of a caring community, though it is not their explicit accountability like it is for listeners.
@UnlearningToBeMyself
Based on your chosen definition of invalidation, it is incorrect. I was not acted in that manner.
I have not rejected, ignored, mocked, teased, judged or diminished a feeling. I have not attempted to control the feeling of someone or for how long that person felt it.
If you are going to accuse me of a matter, I suggest you outline clear proof to support your claim instead of merely throwing words around.
Till now, I have not been rude or resorted to labelling, name-calling, or classified a person in a low form. I have with a clear and calm manner handled your insinuations that I am bullying in the form of ‘invalidation'. In addition to being told that I lack compassion and insinuated that Ive no struggle with personal identity or woes etc.
Now Ill address the rest of what you stated all of which seems unrelated. Emotions are based on a persons perception of an incident as with this case. Each person ‘feels differently on this one new change (a simple pointless addition with animals). The reality or the object is devoid of any meaning except the meaning added by an individual. All of this Ive already stated. If a person adds an ‘emotional wound (to quote your words & your interpretation) to this adding an animal image to an alias, then that ‘wound still remains a personal thing for the person to assess.
Everyone would like to be heard, I think that was the point in many persons sharing their thoughts. However, while sharing, I see no issue with first acknowledging the reality that this thing does not add or take away a persons identity in any form. We are all who we were prior to having this image attached. I also acknowledge that feelings vary from person to person and meaning will be added by said persons based on their emotional projection but reality is a good measurement to assure a person.
I disagree with what you say ‘feelings are facts, considering that each hold a different feeling towards this one thing. But thats another debate, thats not important.
My primary role as a Listener at 7 Cups is to listen. Which I do. My primary role as a human is to interact and do so without rudeness. I do hold it a right to share thoughts/ideas in an open setting and no one should be made to ‘feel that they should suppress their ideas because it doesnt have some emotional appeal to it.
I have listened, commented and I have responded.
I dont submit to keeping silent and I dont submit to undermining the sufferings of others in order to impose guilt upon another. I have not done it to anyone here.
In all, I think you should recheck your position because a lack of emotional validation does not equate to emotional invalidation. Its simply that I didnt take an emotional position to a statement, not that I took a mocking position against it.
I didnt ask you a question on ‘what should be doing in response to members who are expressing their emotions…, I dont know what you are responding to. Looks like a strawman position to be honest but to each their own.
"An additional icon on at chatsite doesn't define you or take away or add to your identity"
Out of pure respect, here is my opinion:
You don't get to decide how the icon defines someone. If it makes them feel a lack of worth, sadness, anger or anything similar, they are entitled to think so, therefore it is an issue and the should project be optional.
You don't get to decide that it doesn't define someone
If they feel defined by the animal icon, the onus is on 7Cups to help them out, since 7Cups forced it on the member. The onus is not on the member to "try to come to terms with it". That's literally saying "I have introduced something that will hurt your feelings, please come to terms with it, I have done nothing wrong."
@Raveninthelabrynth
Sorry to hear you feel isolated by this update. As i mentioned in a previous post, we have no intent to offend you. I do understand that you have struggled a great deal. Our hope is that would help you find folks who started their healing journey at the same time as you. I know you have voiced that this is not something you are looking to find, and i understand that. But we also need to look at the global needs of the entire group, we need to look at what is best for everyone on the whole and we need to gather data and feedback before we make big changes to updates. So we will continue to hear your feedback (and the rest of the feedback in the community) and learn over the next week or so. We are prepared to make changes based on what we learn, but as this has only been live for less than a day, we dont have enough data or feedback to make changes that impact the entire community.
Thank you for your patience. Again, i am sorry you are upset. We respect you and your journey greatly. Sending you a hug
@Laura
Do you have enough data yet? Have you seen how negatively its impacted us yet? Is this asinine little experiment done yet? Can we go back to our subcommunities feeling a little safer yet? Have you heard literally any of us yet? Were typing as loud as we can Laura. Do you hear us? Or are you just another person whos choosing to ignore us as we cry out? I hope you hear us when we say how hurt we are by your actions, and how much more hurt we are by your words. Youve caused a lot of pain. Its been over a week. Are you done torturing us yet?
I am having mixed feelings about this new update, while at first glance looks like a good idea it may not exactly be - past replies on the negative feelings certain animals can give, explains it. To me, it did bring back some bad feelings from my past, which I'd rather not say why, but I see I am not only one. Though it's good that feedback is being taken into consideration!!
But it's good the idea of having a little symbol to say month (or month AND year, like someone above mentioned - it's easier to connect with someone like that) on the user card. About it being on chatrooms, I don't agree. It makes the chatrooms too 'busy' and doesn't look visually appealing and actually is distracting. On forums I'm not sure if I feel is good or not, maybe is. At least doesn't have so many other colorful things and names around it. But would be best not to be animals or symbols like that, because chances are they'll hit people's feelings/insecurities/beliefs. Maybe a color, shape or just the month's letter and a different thing/color to represent year.
Also, I don't think that just the symbols by itself will bring the community together, but maybe it's me. I also haven't really been around much today yet, so probably just didn't have a chance to see it! But having a celebration at the end of each month to welcome new members/listeners or have people that signed up at the same month, all join in - could be a better idea to add in with the symbols. It could be an icebreaker of sorts. A bit like the co-horts are in the forums, but in chatroom form.
@eviesweet I like what you're saying about having an event for each month. The concern I have is that it would not be followed through with though.
On the site there have been similar attempts to do things - like by member level, or the month birthday celebration. On the listener side there used to be colour teams.
The milestone threads were never actually finished to be inclusive of everyone and eventually most were deleted and posts thrown together in one. I don't think we have ever done an entire year of getting all 12 months for birthdays. The colour teams were dropped I think before I joined. I can see this ending up going the same way, we will have these animal symbols (unless admin sees enough negative feedback about them), the new threads that we have will be fairly inactive, getting the odd comment on occasion, and there won't be mention of any general anniversaries, while some individuals anniversary dates do get celebrated either by a thread specific to them or via feed posts. I think some of this is because admin starts these things with the expectation that others will step up to keep it going, but history shows that those who are willing and able to take on leadership roles don't see this as a priority.
I have been on forums where join date is stated on all posts, so that doesn't seem out of the ordinary. I've never seen others trying to group people by dates though, unless it's directly related to a big purpose of the forum as one might see with pregnancy/parenting forums where due dates/child birthdates naturally tend to form groupings anyway.
@eviesweet
this is a thoughtful and well written note of feedback
thank you for sharing this
so my problem is that i think its going to further divide the community in a negaitve way. I think it will cause "clique wars" if you will. not to mention the fact that they need to work on fixing the bugs or improving the app not some stupid animal icon. but hey thas my opinion.
@acceptingJellyfish
I agree with you about the cliques
@acceptingJellyfish
As we encourage people to participate more and more in subcommunities, we also need to find ways to keep our global sense of community. Sub-communities are one way to help ppl find supportive networks related to a topic that they have experience with. We need ways to bring the entire community together, not just ppl who are focued on subcommunity spaces. these two parts of our community need to work together.
Thank you for your feedback. heard!
