Daily Check In

@AshleyNFlewellenLPC

I'm doing good, thanks for asking I have been really productive today. Even made time to game for a bit 😊 how are you doing today?

@AshleyNFlewellenLPC hope you are good

I feel stuck.

Torn between helping my spouse with his addiction, healing from emotional infidelity and focusing on myself. 

Its been a tough week🤌.

But im grateful, im still alive and kicking 

Hope in healing 💖

@AshleyNFlewellenLPC

Doing my best with spring cleaning as it happens, but it is much harder this year even with pain killers.

@AshleyNFlewellenLPC 

I have a super sore throat and can't talk because I just got back from a trip where I definitely overused my voice, so I'm falling more behind on school but I know it'll be okay :) I always catch up eventually

Empty

@AshleyNFlewellenLPC i feel so bipolar but i know im not. i can feel so happy and normal one minute and then one thing can just completely change how i feel or a certain song will come on and it will completely send me into a spiral and into an episode. i feel like i can’t talk to anyone because the moment i even think about feelings i start tearing up and crying and i sound so stupid when i cry and i don’t want to seem weak. i went on vacation and we were waiting in the airport and i wanted to get food but i knew i wasnt going to be able to handle going by myself so i made my sister go with me. she keeps being mean to me about the fact that i cant order food or go anywhere without someone and it’s difficult because i want to be able to do things on my own but i get so overwhelmed and overstimulated when things don’t work. i went to this place called qudoba and its basically chipotle but better and so i just wanted white rice chicken and cheese with guacamole but the lady making it added black beans, i hate beans, but i couldn’t say anything because i didn’t want to cause a problem or make her feel bad so i just left it. i used a gift card my mom gave me to pay for it and i tried to insert it but it wouldn’t work and so my sister was telling me i had to swipe it so i tried to swipe it and then it said i did it wrong so my sister took it and did it and then it started asking if it was credit or debit and i didn’t know so i guessed and then it asked for a pin, it was a gift card obviously i didn’t have a pin, and i felt this tightness in my chest and i could feel my heart beating faster and tears welling in my eyes and i didn’t want to cry because that’s embarrassing. another situation is where we went to this italian restaurant and our server had a very strong accent and i really struggle to understand what people say to begin with because my brain won’t process it fast enough or something. anyways i really just wanted this pesto pasta and the server came over to our table and my dad gave me this specialities menu and showed me a seafood version and asked if i wanted that and then everyone was looking at me so i just said sure even though i didn’t want that and then the server and my dad started asking me a million questions and i couldn’t understand what the server was saying and he said something about fettuccine alfredo and i don’t line it but i was already about to cry and i was so overwhelmed so i just said sure and my mom told him i didn’t line fettuccine so i nended up getting alfredo with the pasta i wanted but i just wanted pesto and i couldn’t help myself and i just started crying and was so overwhelmed i couldn’t help it. my dad started getting mad and didn’t understand why i was crying and i don’t know why either. i just wish i was normal and i didn’t cry over the smallest things for no reason. there are so many situations i could talk about but im done for now. if you read all of this thank you for taking time to listen to my story.

@AshleyNFlewellenLPC

I am not better, but I try a lot and I have hope.

Today is one of the good days, yaaay! I hope everyone is doing great 💖