How to Cultivate and Maintain Healthy Relationships
Hi everyone!
Secure and healthy relationships are usually characterised by a deep sense of trust, emotional connection, and a deep understanding of one another. Working on developing and maintaining healthy relationships can be helped by focusing on various aspects of understanding ourselves to help us experience healthier relationships. Here are a few ideas which I hope you find useful :)
Understanding Attachment Styles: I have always been thoroughly interested in the work of attachment styles, and they can tell us a lot about ourselves and how we communicate and feel connected to those around us. Our experiences in childhood are linked to our attachment styles, and sometimes we may have had a more challenging upbringing, but this doesn’t mean we cannot build a more securer attachment style.
Learning More About Yourself: Often, we are so focused on others that we forget ourselves. Take the time to reflect on your thoughts, feelings and emotions. What are they telling you and how can you cultivate a more self-aware approach in your relationships?
Open Communication: One of the main reasons why relationships can run into struggles are due to a lack of communication. You can improve your communication with one another by providing a safe space for you and the other person to express their needs. Actively listen to one another which I know you are all very good at because you all have such a skill in actively being able to listen to others and to form a deeper understanding.
Developing Healthy Boundaries: Boundaries are so important because they help you and others feel safe and they set healthy limits on what is and is not okay. They are best applied when you are feeling calm for the best possible outcomes and at a time that feels appropriate. Our boundaries should symbolise our compassion for ourselves and those around us. Sometimes boundaries can be met with anger and resistance from the other individual, but they actually make relationships easier as there are some guidelines on what is and isn't acceptable. They are often difficult to set because we feel like we do not want to come across as mean or difficult but once you shift your perception into realising they are beneficial for all involved it can help you apply them with kindness
Please share: how do you cultivate and maintain healthy relationships with others?
@LisaMeighanMScGMBPsS thanks for this article on relationships.
My biggest improvement has been to use mindful awareness to stop myself from acting on angry thoughts. I have started to have more compassion for how they suffer and less concern for having things my way all the time.
Is this what you mean by attachment styles
https://health.clevelandclinic.org/attachment-theory-and-attachment-styles
@soulsings
That is great you are able to be more mindful in the moment and when anger arises. Often it is a signal that something isn't happening in a way that we would prefer or perhaps it is the behaviour of ourselves or others that is making us feel angry. Anger can be helpful in helping us understand how we feel and it's how we express those feelings that matters. Thank you for sharing Soul! :)
@LisaMeighanMScGMBPsS
Thank you for this great post Lisa!
Please share: how do you cultivate and maintain healthy relationships with others?
One of the most important things for me was to start setting boundaries and not feel guilty about it.
Doing whatever others ask you for (for their own convenience) because you fear to be excluded when saying "No" caused me to feel upset and also angry about myself. Gladly this changed with the help of what I learned here.
Another things is trying to walk in other people's shoes so there is more understanding.
@amiablePeace77
This is so useful! Boundaries seem challenging for many of us to apply because we are fearful or anxious of the outcome but actually it is a way we are being kind and fair to ourselves and others. It is so much more easier in life when we have an understanding of what to expect and what people expect from us. Empathy can help us connect with others and cultivate and maintain healthy relationships and is so powerful as a way to connect with others. Thank you for helping us learn more about how you are able to have healthy relationships with others. :)
@LisaMeighanMScGMBPsS. I’m trying to set boundaries and say no when I need to.
@LisaMeighanMScGMBPsS
how do you cultivate and maintain healthy relationships with others?
I am polyamorous married to nesting parter 21 years and 2 partners a couple for 6 years. We do parallel polyamory.
I am anxiously attached but the way I cope is looking after myself sleep, lots of self care activities… and lots of communication.
I do have boundaries clear boundaries such that each relationship can flourish. I spend quality time with each partner. Respect all around for everyone everyone’s metas (including my hub metas) is vital.
It has been a journey but finally we are in a good space. But it isn’t easy it takes constant effort. Polyamory must exist with boundaries which is for yourself and not rules in my opinion which is about control.
@SunShineAlwaysGrateful
Well I see you live in Canada - I guess you could not (and you're not) be married to 2 partners there because that would be against the bigamilaw.
@Helgafy
Polyamory means many loves.
Vs
Polygamy means many marriages.
I am only married to my nesting partner.
@SunShineAlwaysGrateful
OK - SO! many words these days about living/loving - lol.
@LisaMeighanMScGMBPsS
Hi.
how do you cultivate and maintain healthy relationships with others?
For the most I just leave the relationship if it does not have mine values.
@LisaMeighanMScGMBPsS
Being a mutual support in each other's desire to learn and grow as a curious, intelligent person, is a good way to make a relationship dynamic ...
@LisaMeighanMScGMBPsS
I started hearing about this. I found out through a quiz that I have an Anxious attachment style. When I look back, it makes sense due to how neglect played a massive part in my life and how I fear people leaving or even getting rid of me once I'm too much for them. I don't know where to start if I want to form relationships again (romantic or friendships) if i decided to open up again.
@Vivikun9
It is 100% possible to develop happy and secure relationships even when faced with many difficulties growing up. It'll take lots of time to reflect and learn more about yourself and how you respond to certain situations in your relationships. Sometimes, we can learn about ourselves by looking at what we need and how we are able to provide this for ourselves which then helps us to develop a sense of trusting ourselves which is important for relationships to flourish.
@LisaMeighanMScGMBPsS
i cultivate and maintain good relationships with people that i know and people that i meet by maintaining good communication skills with them, be it an occasional phone call or text message, a shared social media post, an email etc etc. also, when i am with people that i associate myself with regularly, i speak openly about what's going on and also i ask them questions relevant to their lives!
@NewYorker11
These are all excellent ideas! It sounds like you have developed many friendships by caring and connecting with others around you.
@LisaMeighanMScGMBPsS
thank you so much for your kind words friend! i greatly appreciate it!
You are most welcome :)
@LisaMeighanMScGMBPsS
I like self evaluation is very important in maintaining healthy relationships. It allows us to not only listen to the person but reflect and make changes actively to build trust and build a better connection.
Great post :)
This is something I'm struggling with at the moment.
As I meet more people, I realize that I cross my boundaries a lot. I think I'm on a lot on autopilot mode when I'm around people, and for me that autopilot means I'm going to accept whatever is being offered to me (or being asked of me) without much consideration. Only to realize later I'm not really happy with my decision.
Over time this can build up into resentment inside me, and then I pull away from other people.
I have some work to do around this!
@creativePeace8658 I am sorry you are regretting your decisions.
If possible, I delay my decisions until I can sleep on it or at least reflect on it.
@soulsings
Those are great ideas Soul. Often, we find with time to reflect we can fully process what is happening for us and sleep works wonders too! :)
@creativePeace8658
Thank you for sharing! It is so difficult when we feel like our boundaries are constantly overstepped by others and we feel like we need to accept it. It then leads to a build-up of resentment which you have expressed and makes you withdraw. Can you think of what you need and not focus on anything else until you know exactly what needs you have? It is great to hear you are working on identifying and setting boundaries too as it'll really change your life once you're able to set them and maintain them.
