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Lessons I Learned

User Profile: soulsings
soulsings April 14th, 2025
  • What was the most significant lesson you took away from a previous relationship?
  • How did it influence the relationships you have now?


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User Profile: purpleTree4652
purpleTree4652 April 14th, 2025

@soulsings

Hi, Sings,

I learned it from a friend.  He said that shared experiences and open honesty are the two most important things in a partnership.  I haven't had a chance to use it yet.


1 reply
User Profile: soulsings
soulsings OP April 15th, 2025

@purpleTree4652 great advice.

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User Profile: Tinywhisper11
Tinywhisper11 April 14th, 2025

@soulsings I learned that there is more good people than bad in the world 💖 it's made me realise that it's important to spread kindness, to be the change you want to see💖

1 reply
User Profile: soulsings
soulsings OP April 15th, 2025

@Tinywhisper11 and you do spread kindness so well. Than you.

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User Profile: courageouspanda2006
courageouspanda2006 April 14th, 2025

@soulsings

That love only exists in Hollywood movies and fairy tales.

Not in a relationship.

2 replies
User Profile: soulsings
soulsings OP April 15th, 2025

@courageouspanda2006 I agree that romantic love evaporates over time. Love of a mother for a child I think is different. Parents sacrifice for their children. There is an element of compassion.

April 22nd, 2025

@courageouspanda2006 the concept of relationship itself shows it is based on l*st and little more. No commitment, only pleasure.

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User Profile: amiablePeace77
amiablePeace77 April 15th, 2025

@soulsings

It's no one's task to make me happy but myself. Something I learned as a young adult.

I create happy situations for myself and don't expect others to do it. 

1 reply
User Profile: soulsings
soulsings OP April 15th, 2025

@amiablePeace77 happiness is the product of my own mind.

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User Profile: resilience2025
resilience2025 April 15th, 2025

@soulsings

Staying true to what you believe and you are! Authenticity is one of the most important traits for me in any relationship! 

1 reply
User Profile: soulsings
soulsings OP April 15th, 2025

@resilience2025 that sounds lke a good foundation to build on. 

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User Profile: TimeToChangeYourself
TimeToChangeYourself April 15th, 2025

@soulsings
Listening carefully is more important than talking

1 reply
User Profile: soulsings
soulsings OP April 15th, 2025

@TimeToChangeYourself I learn a lot more from listening than talking. Even when I am talking I am trying to listen in between the gaps. 

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User Profile: trueconfidant123
trueconfidant123 April 15th, 2025

@soulsings

What was the most significant lesson you took away from a previous relationship?

That I'm too naive and I believed too easily. That I'm supposed to run background checks of my own than trusting blindly. That my mental health needs must be my topmost priority. That I don't have to appease someone or cling onto someone when I see no hope or future.

How did it influence the relationships you have now?

I'm more cautious and I've a hard time confiding in people. I like to be aware and I'm more curious than ever about my surroundings, about people. I don't let anyone manipulate me. I take a stand for myself because I'm my own protector.

2 replies
User Profile: soulsings
soulsings OP April 15th, 2025

@trueconfidant123 glad you are your own protector. I find the greatest protection I have from harm is to stop harming others and retaliating when they try to harm me. 

1 reply
User Profile: trueconfidant123
trueconfidant123 April 15th, 2025

@soulsings

That makes so much sense. I'm glad.

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User Profile: toughTiger6481
toughTiger6481 April 15th, 2025

@soulsings

people change although it may be subtle sooner or later you are looking at someone you do not really know .... that also includes when you are looking in the mirror.

Learned not to say never because one day you wake up and see  why some people did what they did.  

1 reply
User Profile: soulsings
soulsings OP April 15th, 2025

@toughTiger6481 my expectations blind me to what is actually happening. When I finally see things without all those expcctations, it does seem strange.

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User Profile: Fradiga
Fradiga April 15th, 2025

@soulsings

In case we are talking about romantic relationships, each of my companions were able to teach me a lot (and sometimes were taught to as well). I guess I always was a sapiosexual. Wether it was a language, the law, a culture, health-related.... or other subjects, I was fascinated. I wish I could still have those conversations with all of them. Work and other social relationships were also based on communication and exchange of knowledge.

By now, I am happily single again but I still enjoy learning.


  • What was the most significant lesson you took away from a previous relationship?
  • How did it influence the relationships you have now?

2 replies
User Profile: soulsings
soulsings OP April 15th, 2025

@Fradiga I had to look up that word  "sapiosexual" attraction to the intelligence of another individual, "i

At least the mind keeps a strong interest in learning. That is wonderful. 

1 reply
User Profile: Fradiga
Fradiga April 16th, 2025

@soulsings

LOL - a case in point! 

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User Profile: TawkToMe
TawkToMe April 15th, 2025

@soulsings you can't hold people responsible for how they feel.