Letting go
The desire to control every aspect in our lives can create a lot of stress because some things are simply beyond our control.
How do you let go of the need to be in charge of everything in your life?
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@amiablePeace77 what I find difficult where control is involved---my daughter feels I am someone who controls yet I dont feel I do as I had explained to her-a lot of what I do is how I was raised in the sense for example I will mention some--growing up I went to Catholic school so it was mandatory to go to mass every Sunday and holy days. At home it was mandatory everyone in the home sat at the table together to eat supper as a family etc--these are some of the several traditions I grew up with and I thank my mom for being able to do this despite the dysfunction going on in the home by my step father. These traditions gave me pleasant memories that I look back on and find joy in the remembrance and I try to keep these traditions as well as creating some new ones within the family. I see traditions important ‘cause they help create good positive memories.
@eternalHero77
It sounds like two conflicting, but equally valid, things are true: your daughter feels you are someone who controls yet you dont feel you do.
It's understandable to find comfort and safety in routines and traditions. But it's also very normal for the next generation to want to find their own way.
I wonder if you can find some way to compromise, for the happiness of all?
@amiablePeace77
I'm still learning this.
I try to be there for everyone in my family and I get more down when things go wrong for them, than for myself 💕💜
@Amanda84
You are very compassionate Amanda and it might make it easier for you to deal with your own problems than seeing others suffering.
@amiablePeace77
💜
I try to focus on what I can control. Which is still very much a work in progress.
@mytwistedsoul
You're working on it and that's the main thing! 👍
@amiablePeace77
How do you let go of the need to be in charge of everything in your life?
Accepting that it's God's plan and life has better in store for me.
@trueconfidant123
Faith is something that can give us peace and strength and let go of worries! 👍
@amiablePeace77 Whenever things seem beyond my controI, I usually remind myself that not everything will go my way, but that doesn’t mean it won’t turn out well. Things may happen differently than I expect or hope for, but that doesn’t make them meaningless, as I believe.. everything happens for a reason, even if we haven’t realized it yet, and sometimes.. what seems like a deviation from my plan, actually has a purpose that I may only understand later. So.. even when things don’t go as I wanted, I try to trust that there is meaning in it too, and that it can still lead to something positive or important in my life💫🤍
@MeilleureAmie
Sometimes deviations lead to the most beautiful destinations! Nice that you have faith in the good and the future!
@amiablePeace77
I usually try to think of myself as the passenger in life. Not as someone who controls the weather I'm currently in.
@daydreammemories
Great way to put it! 👍 Weather patterns constantly change!
@amiablePeace77 Honestly im not sure, I have tried but its very hard to just let go of things.
@BraelynnT
Some attachments can be very strong and hard to let go off for sure but don't let it stop you from trying to let go of what might limit you. In some cases time will help.
@amiablePeace77
There are certain aspects that I need to learn to let go of trying to control.
@courageouspanda2006
The good thing is that you are aware of what you need to let go of so you can work on it!
@amiablePeace77
I take a deep breath. The first thing I can let go is the tension in my chest.
Other things might be more challenging. But it's a start.
@Clio9876
Ooo. Here's another...
Ask myself what I'm scared of. I feel the need to control when I'm afraid of something such as failure or "things going wrong".
@Clio9876
Thank you for sharing these useful ways with us!
@amiablePeace77
I must have been a practised Zen monk in a previous life.
Generally, I just choose my battles and there are not many.
@Fradiga
Smart choice to choose your battles! 👍 Some are truly not worth to fight.
@Fradiga
Mcaybe the ability to choose is the secret?
If I'm filled with indecision, maybe I control everything to cover all bases and expend a lot of energy on stuff that doesn't need to be controlled.
Either way, I would love to have your zen master skill.
@Clio9876
Thank you for your comment. Yes, there are a lot of things that are not worth fighting for. If you'd like, we can chat together. I am online usually about this time (6PM in France)...