Your Journey
How's your journey going so far?
@AshleyNFlewellenLPC
Every day I'm ready to turn back.
Things are going ok lately. I think I’m in a kind of stay strong mode, because one of my kids had a medical emergency recently. I haven’t been feeling depressed for a while (a while for me anyway!). I hope I’m not just pushing things down. I’m still struggling with some things, but my perspective is a little different, rather than blaming myself. I’m trying to pay attention and learn things from this time period. Unfortunately I know my depression isn’t magically gone, so I want to be better prepared when it comes back full throttle. I think I’m finally learning some important things about life and people that I’ve needed to move forward.
@PiecesOfWhoeverIWas
I cry at the thought of my depression returning full-force. Because when it's there, I'm not. I don't know how people push through it. So, like you, I'm using this clarity to prepare for the worst.
I did enter a depressive state ever so briefly the other day. It was painful, but I found myself holding onto hope. There was positivity mixed in, telling myself not to worry for it was temporary. It's just... one can't help but think, how long is temporary?
I'm learning that I should treat myself like I would a kind child when I'm down. Ask myself what's wrong, and take care of my needs, my responsibilities. Keep living life, sharing the pain, finding a way through the fog.
I hope we can learn from each other!
@cyanessence I hear you. Depression is really tough. For depression started when I lost the goal in my life, when I found myself going through the motions but not having a clearly defined thing I was aiming for.
The other part of depression for me is setting unrealistic expectations that something or someone is going to bring me to a problem free state. There is no such thing that I have discovered in this world. The happiest I am is when I am practicing mindfulness.
It also helps me to have my list of self care items lined up that I do on a regular routine: 5 minute Tai hi, adriennes' complete beginner yoga, and Jon Kabat Zinn mindfulness all on youtube.
What's on your self care list?
@soulsings
Depression is a monster! I especially feel for those struggling with lifelong depression. It's a cosmic injustice. I hope medicine improves so they may find some relief.
Without direction, I too get depressed. I find you need short, medium and long-term goals. Create a walk through for yourself, but also try to be spontaneous. It's a delicate balance.
I totally agree, one must have realistic expectations. When something doesn't go as expected for me, it hurts a lot. Mindfulness is key isn't it?
My self-care list is short. I neglected myself for 36 years! Mindfulness is the main thing, that will lead me to other strategies. I like the idea of yoga, maybe gym. Reflection is paramount to my well-being. In knowing myself I therefore know how to respond. It's why I post so much on here. Knowledge is power.
@cyanessence it is bigger the more I grasp it.
Mindfulness is a tool to help me check up what's happening in my mind. Avoiding negative thinking helps me a oid negative action.
Thanks for all your posts.
@soulsings
Hi - your words struck a chord with me. I spend so much time living in the past and wishing I could go back there, even though my life wasn't that great then either. You mention goals and I have realized I don't really have any now. I've retired from full-time work and would like to work at least part time (for earnings or volunteering), but my kiddos are now having their own kiddos and so I travel a lot to see them and help out. I love visiting and helping out, but that doesn't bring me all that I need to beat this depression.
Turning 60 last year was exceptionally tough. I feel truly that my "best" years are well behind me and afraid of the debilitations that old age brings. I am active and learning a lot about preserving muscle and bone because the worst thing would be living my last years as some in my family have - bedridden and bitter. However, I live this contradiction of thinking I'd like to just have a heart attack and be done with this life.
It would probably serve us all well if we spent ample time determining goals and focusing on that. As I sit here any type, my mind is blank, but you have given me a great question to ponder! Thank you!
@cyanessence Hi! It’s so good to get your tag. Thank you for replying, my friend. ❤️
Honestly, I don’t know how to push through depression. I think we can push through difficult situations when we see an end. But depression, I have tried to push through and ended up imploding. I guess there are types of depression that are more short-term. For me it’s never really been a situation, it’s more a state of being. Long-term depression, we don’t necessarily see an end to it. When I get into those depths, it is the way I look at my life. It is the way I see myself. In some ways it picks up where it left off the last time, maddeningly after I think I’ve made so much progress. Getting through becomes a matter of hunkering down and surviving for the next day, even the next hour, by any means necessary. I do whatever I can do cope, doing the bare minimum promising myself that I’ll do more whenever I feel better. I used to feel really guilty about that, the things I fail at in those times, but now I seem to have a kind of understanding with myself. I hope what I’m saying doesn’t sound bad.
I find you to be very insightful. What have you learned about your depression? I saw you mention in your recent example that you were able to hold onto hope. I think it’s really good that you were able to tell yourself it was temporary. That’s so important to retain that perspective, because it really doesn’t last forever. Yes, I agree, sometimes temporary seems an eternity doesn’t it?
I loved to read that you are talking to yourself as you would a kind child. ❤️ I think at its base, long-term depression is a lack of whatever we needed to build a life foundation as kids. I might just be speaking from my experiences, but I know at an early age the things that happened in my house made me have problems liking myself, dealing with setbacks, believing in myself, and seeing the good in the world. Now it’s like we have to re-teach ourselves these things. I often feel like I’m dealing with a defiant child (me) who angrily doesn’t want to be vulnerable anymore. Oh the arguments inside my head!
Anyway 😄 Thank you for attending my rant! It’s good to see you. ❤️
@PiecesOfWhoeverIWas
I always like hearing from you too friend!
I have tried pushing through and the pressure also caused me to implode. And explode. And freeze. It really broke me... I cry a lot at how bad it was.
Mine felt lifelong. It had been 36 years with no end in sight. I think it's a miracle things turned around. Granted, it was self-directed. I deduced I have ADHD and it put my life in perspective. Cried with joy.
Sometimes it's literally about getting through the next second. There was something I learned from a show... if you can count to ten, you can do that again. It's some form of hope. And yeah, you may fall behind in certain areas, but the pressure needs to be eased. I worry about those literally working themselves to death. It's ceaseless responsibility!
I learned that depression is distorted thinking. You can't trust it to lead you. So you need logic and reasoning, something emotionless, as a guide. It's a tricky state to be in, not being able to think clearly while making good decisions. But the brain itself is a miracle that can handle those kinds of contradictions.
I believe my depression may have been innate from birth, but a terrible childhood exacerbated it. I relate to your experience! Definitely need to rip out the wiring and start again.
I always learn something talking with you. I also really like your display picture, I feel that way a lot. Just scattered identity.
Honestly, it's rough. But I know I'll get through it.
@Paliloveyourself
Sending you comforting beams. Hope things will ease soon. Please remember that you can always connect with a listener for a 1:1 chat for support and comfort or join sharing circle.
Umm, so I js started 7 cups it nice and I like it but I struggle with my aggression and it’s smt I quite js noticed…
@MmMmPePpEr
Welcome to 7cups MmMmPePpEr! I hope you will find the support you need on the site. Sorry to hear that you're finding it difficult to deal with your aggression. Anger can be very painful for us and impact our bodies in a negative way. Have you thought about talking about your feelings with a listener in a 1:1 chat? You can browse for a listener here. This is a link to a self-help guide that might be helpful.
@AshleyNFlewellenLPC I've made a lot of progress from where I've been to where I am now and I am so proud of myself but it also scares me since I've never been this far ahead before and now I don't know what's next and it almost makes me want to turn back and it makes me so scared of the future that I'm starting to regress to the past and I'm really sad that this is how it's going but I'm hopeful that I can see the light finally at the end of the tunnel once again and turn right back around and keep going forward once again
@AshleyNFlewellenLPC
I'm not doing my best but I'm working on myself.
Very positive and meaningful. I’ve had a privilege of meeting some amazing people here and helped so many as well. :)
How's your journey going so far?
I'm lost. It's as though I took a detour. No service, no GPS and the neighborhood seems a little too unfriendly to ask for directions.
@mytwistedsoul
Feeling lost is a terrible feeling, so sorry that you're feeling this way right now. There is a mindfulness session at 5:00 pm EDT in the Mindfulness Room, topic Emotional stability. It might help to spend time with others to practice mindfulness or to connect with a listener for a 1:1 chat.
@amiablePeace77 Thank you! I'll have to remember that chat so I can join in. It definitely might help to be with others practicing mindfulness
@mytwistedsoul also 3:30 PM EDT on Monday in mindfulness. Here is the schedule
@soulsings Thank you so much! I set a reminder with an alarm on my phone! :)
I keep taking steps every day even though I'm told that they don't count due to repeating bad habits
Eventually my actions on my words will line up with my steps
@quietOwl913
Every step toward becoming more at ease with life counts! Bad habits can be hard to break but it is possible - step by step! Sorry that people in your surroundings are not more supportive.
