Part I: The River - Exploring Life as a River
Welcome to part 1 of the Way of the River series.
We are going down the river of life in our kayak. At the start, it may feel unnatural or a little clumsy. Maybe we lose our paddle or get stuck on rocks, but with more experience we gradually learn to read the water.
With a little more experience we can begin to feel the current pulling us. Sometimes we might not want to follow the current. Instead, we might have our eye on a beautiful spot across the water on the side of a river bank. Many of us will work really hard to cross the river to get to that spot. It will require a lot of extra paddling because we are going against the current.
One sad, but instructive experience happens when you finally make it to that hoped for spot and realize it is not as good as you had imagined. You were sure it was going to be beautiful, but somehow it fell short of that beauty. This is frustrating because it took so much energy to get there.
Some of us are stubborn, slow to learn, or both, and we have to make this same mistake many, many, many times.
Eventually, however, we too learn how to read the water and follow the current. Sometimes the current leads us right past the spots we wanted to go and then surprises us around the bend with a far better spot. These are great situations. Oddly, even though we shouldn't, we often give ourselves credit for finding the new spot, when most of the credit should go to the current. Still, these are great times and should be deeply enjoyed because they do not happen all the time.
Other times the current can lead us down more treacherous waters with rocks, eddies, and sticks that can be tough to navigate. Sometimes we lose a paddle, flip the kayak and get wet. In particularly tough times, we may even get injured. We don’t usually take “credit” for our role in these situations and instead happily blame the current.
Why do these more challenging times happen?
I believe they happen so that we can learn. Nobody wants to feel the anxiety, difficulties, and sometimes pain that happens during these times, but these are indeed the times that teach us the most skill. We don’t learn to become master kayakers when the river is smooth. We learn how to be master kayakers on the rapids. Adversity challenges us to overcome.
So, what is the right approach?
The approach is one that goes against our natural impulses. It can sometimes feel like it goes against everything that is within us, especially when it is painful and not what we had hoped for. The stoics were master kayakers and they have a statement, “the problem is the path.” They encourage us to steer into the challenges and to trust the current. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) encourages us to see the challenge as an opportunity to learn to solve a problem that we’ve been ignoring. These are wise words.
Abraham Maslow, another master kayaker, tells us to go further. He instructs us to see the challenges as a gift, to embrace them like we would a friend, to listen deeply and carefully to what they are telling us, to listen to their whispers. He encourages us to see the challenges as ends in and of themselves; and warns us not to look past them as a means to an end. He wants us to see and appreciate them for what they are – independent, difficult, and beautiful experiences.
The river of life brings us smooth, deep, and troubled waters. Thankfully we do not paddle alone. We find other kayakers on the water that also teach us lessons. Most of the lessons come down to following the current rather than insisting on our own plans. This key lesson is a lifetime lesson.
Reflection question: We have all gone through challenging times, or rough rapids, and overcome them in the past. What would you tell a friend going through difficult waters now?
I’m thankful that I have found all of you on the river. Thank you for paddling alongside me 🙏✨❤️.
This post is part 1 of The Way of the River Series. Find the complete information and all related posts here
Reading the theory is just the map, but the real progress happens in the water. Apply to join the exclusive closed group here and kayak together!
@GlenM new to 7 cups, wanted to subscribe to this so I can I can follow along each day, thank you
@LagerthaLisa
You will really enjoy it 💚
@LagerthaLisa
Hey, welcome to 7 Cups! This is a five part series of forum posts that you can click through and we encourage you to reply to each! Let me know if you'd like help!
Here's a handy document of all the links in one place too: The Way of the River Guidebook!
@GlenM
“Thank you for sharing Part 1 of the Way of the River series. I really like the idea of life as a river and learning to follow the current rather than forcing our own way. The reflection question really made me think—when I face tough times, I try to remind myself to trust the process and keep moving forward. I’m grateful to be paddling alongside everyone here and learning from each experience.”
@Claimlistener
"Trust the process" 👏👏👏 With that mindset, I think you'll love the part of the series that discusses grace. Looking forward to reading your insights throughout the rest of the series!
@GlenM This reads like a gentle reminder that life teaches us through experience, not control. That struggling, drifting, resisting, and learning are all part of the same journey and that meaning often comes from the rough water, not despite it. There’s a quiet humility in trusting the current, and a tenderness in recognizing that we’re shaped most by what challenges us, not what goes smoothly.
@compassionateKitty7635
That’s a beautiful way to put it. It really does feel like we spend so much energy trying to steer everything perfectly, when the most growth happens in those rough water moments we didn't plan for. This is absolutely quote-worthy: There’s a quiet humility in trusting the current, and a tenderness in recognizing that we’re shaped most by what challenges us, not what goes smoothly.
@GlenM I trust that people in their own boats come into my branch of the river when i need them, and they need me, i trust that they leave my pressence at the times that i no longer need them, to open up space for new people to enter, i trust in the process of people coming and people going
@justmiles
I completely agree with your process of trusting the rhythm of the river and accepting that every person arrives and leaves at the right time!
@sincerePrune6571
This is part one of the river series I mentioned 🌻
@GlenM
@curiousSloth <3 i'd recommend you giving the way of the River a look. It's a great way of using analogies to describe how you feel. it's a insightful journey... u would enjoy the series for sure 💗.
Hugs 🤗
@GlenM
@Ailuraphilelove8tear9
Hey! Thanks for your recommendation 😊 I’ll check it out. And I hope this will be very helpful and I really appreciate your concern ❤️ . I am very happy to start this journey 😊.
@curiousSloth
Yayy..!! we got this together 😉💕
Hugs 🤗❤️
@Ailuraphilelove8tear9
Yaayy yes ✨🎊😊
Hugs for you too 🤗
@Ailuraphilelove8tear9
Thank you soooo much for spreading the word <3
@Heather225
Aww <3 💕 Full of pleasure 😊
@GlenM
So calming and soothing to read, you put it all together.. that's life.
@Universelistens
Agreed! Do you resonate with the river metaphor?
No matter the amount of challenges and injuries we experienced, if we still breathe, there is still hope for getting back in the kayak, taking the paddles in our hands and enjoying the ride. Panta rei ❤️
@communicativeMelon7400
this is such an uplifting reminder!
It can be tough but there always help along the way. You got this. You are not alone.
@GlenM Lovely idea for a series and beautifully executed <3 When a friend goes through a rough time, I am trying to be there for them in the way they need at that moment. I find it meaningful and helpful to remind them that they are not alone in their challenges and that things keep changing. That a tough choice or path is not the end, that if you want to change later, you have the opportunity to do so, and that there is no shame in asking for help. In fact, it takes courage and strengh to be at that vulnerable state. And we are not meant to go through rough times, through life, alone. But insdead of telling them something, I would first like to understand them and be right there with them, whether they need a shoulder to cry on, a hug, silence, discussion, or some kind of positive distraction.
@alexblue22
Your approach to supporting a friend is so kind and thoughtful! It is true that we are not meant to go through hard times alone, and just being present for someone makes a big difference. Your thought that things keep changing fits perfectly with the flow of a river actually!
We have a peer support group that we just started, in which we will go through this series together. We literally just began the first day of introductions so it'd be prime time!
I would love to have you join us if it sounds fun to you!
https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfdUljhoiZW9Iwf-8NGit6kW_l4z_hwZ7PAfJxg8jcMHJJzXQ/viewform
Either way, I'll enjoy reading your insights as you respond to the rest of the forum posts :)
@Heather225 Thank you, I'll check it out! ^^