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@Power @EvelyneRose @MisfyMagic @SamuelFrancis @RumpleSteeleSkin
@Tazzie
My intention is to further develop an understanding of some of 7cups policies. So this isn't about a desire to break any rules or to encourage that. I am challenging some ideas for the benefit of those who have similar questions and I am no way calling for dissent or disrespect.
So, as we know, members cannot direct message each other. However, it's very natural as peFople connect with each other to have a desire to do so. Since this is forbidden here, some Listeners use their account for personal messaging. Now, this is common on this platform and so, has 7cups really thought about this issue? In my opinion, when restrictions exist-it just creates an underground culture. And this behavior is an open secret here on this site.
And I can go on, with telling people not to go offline because it's not safe or because 7cups can longer protect them. Okay, I going offline can be problematic for some people-but what is the real concern here? To me, some it smacks paternalism or even moralism. If this is a site developed by someone with a clinical background, what is the real concern? Is there an assumption that adult members are so mentally ill that they can only relate to one another within the confines of a support chat or a 1 on 1? Rules are rules, I understand. Guess what, people still go offline.I encourge people to follow the rules here- but I'm am concerned about things like paternalism in mental health settings. Definition of paternalism: the policy or practice on the part of people in positions of authority of restricting the freedom and responsibilities of those subordinate to them in the subordinates' supposed best interest.
MAUS
@DangerMaus
Thank you for sharing here and asking the things you like some explanation for. Your question is "Why can't members message each other knowing they need connection and also they use their listener accounts to chat personal?"
I have been here for many years and see how the community wants to connect and gain a richer freindship, also support each other. Admin know this and know the negative side on this more so positive. If the members were allowed to chat 1-1 meaning privately hardly anyone would be in the members rooms. Not only that there could be possible problems brought back into the community. Also newbies feeling ignored as they do not know many already in the room know each other really well. It works well to have members keep connecting, supporting each other in the members rooms.
As far as the listeners connecting 1-1 to talk privately.....Admin can not stop this and are aware. Admin share with us a lot of the dangers in doing this as well as the consequences. We are given a listener account to support our members, or to mentor someone etc but not abuse it and talk 1-1 with another listener on a personal level. I advice to not do this as if you get caught admin can suspend your account for a length of time or forever. We need to respect this account and know WHY we wanted to become a listener.
Question you have: Why can't people go offsite is it due to just being unsafe and 7cups can no longer protect them?"
7cups is a Mental Health Support Site. Made for people who need someone to give them support, to listen to them, to mainly be there as a trusted support "someone".They created the members rooms labeled for what someone might come to the site for gaining support. Each room has a team and things done in each room to help and support a member. I am sure those that created the site as well those that are admin now almost 7 years later do realise the pros and cons on this as they are not in control of this. Thing is YOU are!
When something goes wrong on site most of the time it gets dealt with in an action the admin feel is right for the situation. When we come into an issue in a room we have mods and commods and sometimes admin are around to handle things. Going offsite no- no one can stop anyone. When you choose to do this, 7cups is no longer involved in whatever happens.
A concern would be a Teen offsite with an adult. Now that puts the site at high risk in many ways. Also a teen is not protected from whomever they go offsite with. That is a very big concern for 7cups. Now if adults choose to go offsite no one can stop you. But this is what I know of this rule and I am going to tag @Heather225 to make sure I am correct...
If you choose to go offsite with another member that is your choice, but it is suggested you follow 7cups rules and DO NOT. If whatever issues may arise between you and the other person enter the community both of you may be banned or accounts suspended for a period of time. All leadership roles will be taken.
If you go offsite with a teen and it is found out, consequences are ATL badge is gone and all leadership roles. Also accounts can be banned or suspended for unknown time.
I do hope this answers your questions
@RumpleSteeleSkin
Thank you for taking the time to respond to my concerns. This was eye-opening for me and now I understand some of the other concerns that 7cups around these things. Also, I thought your response was very validating and I highly appreciate it.
~Maus
@DangerMaus
Your welcome Maus. You are brave to ask them knowing this concern floats through many of members,listeners and so on. We like everyone to use this site for their mental health needs and concerns, for many who just have no one you know. Especially the teens going through so much around the world. Everyone has someone to support them just do it right and be safe is allValidation is what many need
I was in a sharing circle and a member started to talk about that she was going home that weekend to her abuser. She was talking about how she knew he was going to hurt her, she just didn't know how much. I asked if the member was a minor, thinking we might be able to help her if she is. Another member shouted, DOn'T! The member with the abuser then wouldn't say if she is a minor or not. I asked the mod if we can do something to help her. The mod's response was this; "This is a safe anonymous space, and we don't want to assume." I'll never forget the dismissal of this woman about to be abused. Then the mod said, "But do pm if me if you are a minor and I'll point you to the right side of 7cups." The way the mod handled it seemed completely wrong to me. Should the mod have done more to try to help this woman? If not, why not? I still see the member on the adult side of 7cups, posting comments. When I see that mod in charge of any sharing circle or room, I leave. Thanks.
@RarelyCharlie thanks for the tag
@purpleTree4652 your post brought a tear to my eye and reminded me of several long term chats I have had with different Members in similar situations. If I had been there I would have offered to pm the Member and chat 1-1. Sometimes just having someone on your side that listens and cares can help build strength.
Yes, 7 Cups is an anonymous emotional support site dealing with different mental health and physical health issues and as Listeners we support our team mates and Members as best we can.
Did the Community Moderator handle the situation well? - Perhaps not, in the heat of a busy sharing circle a lot of things can happen at once and affect response and it's impossible to truthfully say without being there. But, there is a way to report the incident by using the form in the Group Chatroom rules at the bottom of the page here but that probably won't help you feel any better. If you would like to pm me then I am happy to chat more about this.
Listening - One Step At A Time!
@MistyMagic
Charlie
Hi ive always wondered if when you are reported as a listener why its always the listener in trouble i get reported often because i dont want to talk to them when they are masterbating they report me for god knows what then im the one in trouble i used to be reported nearly everyday ive often thought of leaving because of it.
@karenw
First I'd like to mention how brave you are to bring this out to the community and gain some insights. Hugs Please do not leave 7cups and let's see if we can work something out. Sometimes as a listener it can be hard to 'please' or 'comfort' our members that we listen to. And how they react can be yes- a report
But you do not have to take those kinds of chats if you are uncomfortable. You can share 7cup.com/BrowseListeners and share that you are not the right listener to fully support their needs in the chat. And then they can find another listener.
As far as reports you can email the admin back and share on what happened. They should/do investigate on reports if needed. Best thing to do is take pics of your chats if you feel it is needed. Please do reach out to mentors or other listeners to help you more on how to deal with chats/members like this. Hugs
@RumpleSteeleSkin thankyou.
@Tazzie I need a the talk with the listener and she doesn't wanna talk because of something I said I didn't offend her but something about myself. I'm new on here and can never seem to get on chat
@Cath73
Sorry that happened. I would consider giving her a negative review and just moving on to someone more professional. I suggest the Browse Listener function and that allows to get some background on a potential Listener. There are good Listeners out there, so don't get discouraged! In my experience, I would say 20% of them are excellent, 40% average, and 40% are unprofessional.
@Cath73
HI Cath it is good to see you here and sharing your question. I do understand you on wanting to clear things up and make sure this listener knows you meant well. Sometimes it is possible to do this, and some times it's not. And that part is hard to accept for many. Listeners do have a choice on chats they take and not take. Also answer back too. Unfortunately-
May I suggest if you can to sort out how this makes you feel and know that it's possible that the listener will not respond back. If you already sent her a message of what went on so they understand-then I'd leave it be. Their choice to answer. Welcome to 7cups I am glad you came here to share your question/concerns. I do hope you find a good listener(s) you can connect with. Hugs
P.S. Just cause she did not answer is not a good reason for a report
Hi,
I need 40 referral clicks for part of my internship. How do I go about ensuring this happens?
Also can someone explain to me what the "cheers" mean?
Thanks!
@Kalen1003 I once wrote about referral clicks here: Get referral clicks But the internship requirements change from time to time and what I wrote is probably out of date. Ask your mentor about the current requirements.
Cheers are just points awarded for activity. Confusingly they are also called Progress Points. I once made a Glossary where you can look up most 7 Cups terminology.
Charlie
@RarelyCharlie Thank you!
What's the difference between a member and a guest
@willingPear8684 A member is someone like you who created an account, and has a password and a profile. Members can interact with other members, listeners and therapists, for example by posting in the forum.
A guest is someone who has not created an account, or who is not logged in to any account. They cannot interact with others. For example, they can read the forum but they cannot post.
If you log out, you become a guest. You can read this but you cannot reply to it. If you log back in, you become a member again and you can reply.
There was a time when guests could interact in limited ways, so you might find out of date information that refers to this. I can't remember exactly when it changed.
Charlie
@Tazzie
I've been having a techical issue around the listing of the available chats. For the past two days, Support Chat 24/7 is not visible on this list of available chats. It doesn't exist and I cannot access it.
@DangerMaus It's probably there. I put in a bug report about this already. It's just the arrow/see more thing is invisible. If you find the right place to click, the rest of the chat room list shows up. This also affects listeners' bios if they are longer than the first few lines which automatically shows.
If you have trouble finding the right place to click https://www.7cups.com/connect/groupChatrooms.php should have all of the rooms you can typically access.
Unless I'm wrong and the glitch affecting you is something different.
@Tazzie
Hello Tazzie! My name is Daniel and I'm looking to collect some volunteering hours for school. I enjoy talking with people and I thought this would be perfect for me. Do I need to schedule myself to obtain volunteering hours? Where am I able to print proof of my hours? Thank you!
@DinoDanx3 Hi Daniel!
No, you don't need to schedule (but you can if you want).
To print proof of your hours, on the website look in the menu bar at the top under My Path, and choose Training & Certifications. Then choose the Certification tab. Or here's a direct link: Certification
For any members reading this, it only applies to listeners 
Charlie
Hi. Is working with a therapist through 7 cups online anonymous as well, or just the member/listener relationship?
@hopefulOcean7633
Hello Ocean this is a great question here! I am not toally sure on this answer here, but I do believe you are NOT annonymous for 7cups therapy. As they have to get personal info from you in order to help you best. Here is the link for the therapists here https://www.7cups.com/therapists/search.php