Question About Sharing Contact Information
Hi everyone, I’m still fairly new here and wanted to ask about the rules around sharing personal contact information with listeners or members.
A few times, people I’ve spoken with have asked me for my contact info, and there have been moments where I felt comfortable enough to share things like my social media (nothing that would let them track me personally). I’ve also had members send me private online chat links.
I just want to make sure I’m following the guidelines correctly. Is sharing personal contact information allowed on 7 Cups, or is it something we’re supposed to avoid completely?
Thanks in advance for the clarification!
@LanaAfterDark
@Heather225 and @Rebekah
I think either. Of you an answer this question
This might also help you out
@Heartsandrosesandpaws
can
@LanaAfterDark I was wondering this too I don’t completely understand how this site works 😅
@greendayfangirl
Just a clarification, any offsite contact is strictly prohibited. Any chats with anyone you meet on 7 Cups need to remain on 7 Cups for your own safety. This is a useful post to look at that puts this vital rule into perspective: https://www.7cups.com/forum/safe7cups/Part3InformationResoucesUpdatesStation_1371/MyExperienceswithOffsiteContact_317308/
Hope this was helpful! <3
@LanaAfterDark What part of the listener training and the guidelines lacked clarity for you about the offsite rule?
@LanaAfterDark as a rule of thumb and an actually rule on here outside contact like that is not permitted they are not allowed to ask you for for stuff like that. Don’t do it. Don’t click any links don’t share anything. It’s for your own safety.
For anyone wondering, here are the community guidelines
Offsite is covered in General Guidelines (applicable everywhere on 7cups), Forum Guidelines, Group Chat Guidelines (members, listeners and the expanded document), teen community guidelines, leadership guidelines, and Behavior Point System.
I tried to copy and paste but the forum censors a lot of words that are suggestive someone is trying to share personal contact information and missed finding everything so I could post.
@LanaAfterDark
Hey hey! I've had a look at some of the responses to this forum thread and some really good resources have been posted.
To clarify any offline contact is strictly prohibited on 7 Cups. We place high value on anonymity and safety on our platform. As long as you keep conversations on 7 Cups, you are safe and website admins can intervene if there are any safety issues, as soon as you break this rule and go offsite, our admins no longer have control over your safety offsite and it can lead to really harmful situations.
That being said, offsite contact is not allowed under any circumstances. Here's a thread that I think is really insightful by @Rebekah: https://www.7cups.com/forum/safe7cups/Part3InformationResoucesUpdatesStation_1371/MyExperienceswithOffsiteContact_317308/
@LanaAfterDark,
Hi Lana, like a lot of others have said in this thread, offsite contact is not allowed under any circumstances. Yeah, we may feel comfortable sharing our info now, but after sharing our info, we may realise it wasn't the best idea -- no one is ever truly 100% who they say they are on the internet. Stay safe! 🌞
Im really glad I came across this post because I wasnt aware of this.
A lot of people have asked me for offsite contact. I declined because I didnt feel any vibe with them but I didnt know it was against the rules.
I could see myself agreeing to offsite contact though if I felt a need for it.
Although people here have shared stories with me about having made friends here and moved on to offsite platforms. Ive even heard of people arranging to meet up in person after chats here and pursuing relationships and finding success or heartbreak. I personally dont think its wrong if someone falls in love with anyone (its the kind of thing that can happen anywhere) but if its against the rules for safety reasons I think it should be put out more clearly on signing up.
Just tagging people here for passing on the info and advancing the discussion....
@LanaAfterDark
@Jesusredeemedme2425
@Heather225
@Franse
@cyanessence
@Tinywhisper11
@7bear7
@Sunisshiningandsoareyou
@Creamyyy
In some sense, it feels like a missed opportunity. People really seem to connect here. I would personally love to hang out with some of the people I've encountered here, but I understand the rules exist for a reason.
I respect rules. I don't want to implicate anyone else in doing potentially unsafe things.
I think mistakes are bound to happen though. The rules can only be so visible, and not everyone actively seeks them. Some simply don't know all the details.
Yeah same here. I will respect rules. And I also understand the reason for it. This app is primarily for mental health support and anonymity really helps everyone put aside their filters for real connections. If the whole offsite contact seeps in, it will take away from this purpose.
Ive wondered myself if there was an opportunity would I meet some of the folks here? And im actually 50-50. On one hand, I want to say yes because there is so much awesomeness and good vibes. But upon meeting, they will see my flaws more visibly than the way I have presented here, so will I see them in maybe a different angle, and the equation could change in a bad way, and the good here might be lost...
And - good to have your glimpse again :)
@cyanessence
@Creamyyy
There's always that, isn't there?
One should resist the urge to go offsite. Not just to respect the rules, but to avoid seeing the flaws in ourselves and others. One can build an image here, a reflection of a higher self. I think one has a right to bring to the world their light in their own unique colour.
Here, it is anonymous. Once that is gone, communication and meaning change. It is dangerous. The focus shifts from mental health support to something that might be damaging.
There is a lot of fragility here. Let's not bend ourselves, in case we break.
This is for everyone but I am using the words of @cyanessence who said:-
"In some sense, it feels like a missed opportunity. People really seem to connect here."
Yes, they do! Or do they? People can mimic, they can shadow, and do their research, bide their time, read all of your posts, gather information, so that they seem to be everything you want, need, and that you would love to connect with.
Sadly, like any online platform, 7 Cups has its fair share of people that are here to misuse the site, and even to disrupt or groom vulnerable users. That's why these rules and guidelines exist. I know that many see them as controlling, censorship or even an attempt to stop people poaching people to other sites, but, they are for real safety reasons.
7 Cups does have a team of moderators that do their best to keep the site as safe as possible, but if a user shares personal information, arranges to meet offsite, even send money, then that is up to them, there are penalties that 7 Cups imposes on the parties, but by then the damage is usually done, and irreversible.
"I would personally love to hang out with some of the people I've encountered here,"
Examples:
What makes you think that the 25 year old female with a pretty picture is actually who they say?
What about the handsome man who works out?
"But they are going through the same thing as me!" Are they? Really?
Why would you choose to trust someone that has shared their details and wants to meet up offsite?
so . . . How can you tell who they really are?
You can't!
Of course, the Admin team share who they really are, and are safe to contact, also our team of Ambassadors who go through safety checks.
Staying onsite, and staying anonymous is the safest way to share and discuss mental health issues.
@Amanda84
@Creamyyy
At the top of every 1:1 chat, this text reads:
Safety & Reporting - Staying safe online starts with protecting your privacy. DO NOT share your personal details, contact info or social media handles. Your safety is our top priority. If you feel unsafe, please visit our Safety and Reporting Center to learn how we can best help.
And for further reading, this link should help clarify the rule
https://www.7cups.com/forum/safe7cups/Part2IntroductionsQuestionsAnswersandGeneralConversations_36/TheOffsiteContactRuleandHowItProtectsYou_361475/
I remember seeing this text somewhere on that chats but because ive been engaging on the forums for a long time now I forgot about it.
I read the link you shared and even Rebecca's thread. Thank you for bringing this to my attention. I completely understand. ♥️
@Heather225
I was thinking more on this and remembered that there are apps which when detect phone numbers or names of other social media platforms hide it by default so it doesnt go through... could that be done to enforce this rule strictly ? Im not aware of all the laws around it. Only guessing 🤔
@Heather225 @GlenM
@LanaAfterDark Hey Lana,
You said . ."A few times, people I’ve spoken with have asked me for my contact info, and there have been moments where I felt comfortable enough to share things like my social media (nothing that would let them track me personally). I’ve also had members send me private online chat links."
I have added the bold as this part of your sentence really worried me. The internet and AI are so sophisticated that if someone wanted to figure out who and where you are, they most probably could!
Just a couple of examples:-
Reverse tracking - photos can be tracked back to ANYWHERE that they have been previously used, and now even similar photos can be tracked back too. So if you have used your profile pic in a social media or any kind, blog, etc then AI could now figure out a trace.
Snippets - telling one person that you are going out this weekend to a concert - plus- telling another person that you have a great new pair of jeans, - plus in a group support chat room - "I love Coldplay, has anyone seen them live?"
Or Sharing that your school's prom theme is 'Under The Sea' etc etc. Sharing birthdays too, can help all the snippets add up, we think we are being safe but we could be sharing too much personal information without even knowing it.
It's not so much about going offline, online, with someone - which breaches 7 Cups Guidelines and Rules anyway - but about sharing personal information that might lead you to be stalked, ID theft, or worse.
Please screenshot and report anyone that does ask and report them to community@7cups.com and also file a safety report here
The part about snippets is really good. I’m always paranoid and am super sure to not share easily identifiable things about me, so those who know me can’t figure out that this account is me <3
@MistyMagic photo tracing ... that scared me.... i just started a picture diary on 7cups. Im wondering if I should continue with it now... 🤔😞
@Creamyyy I apologise, I didn't mean to scare anyone, just to inform and make people aware.
It's nice to share photos, we all do it, and in many ways 7 Cups is one of the safer sites around town. We have moderators, and a good forum team that are here to answer questions. But if it is a concern then take a moment and think about the pictures you share. I used to take special 7 Cups pics, I used to be asked why I don't share my paintings here, instead I would paint specially to post here. Of course some will say that I am being overly cautious, if that is possible to be nowadays, but bringing three teenagers safely through the online minefields gave me some unique experiences!
Don't be scared, be safe!
Thanks .
This is making me think.
Because I was also planning to start a blog with pics. I dont know now.
And how about the people on I n s t a .. theyre sharing pics all the time... is there maybe a way to make your pics safer ? Let me know if you know anything.
Thanks for your time.
@MistyMagic
@Creamyyy Please don't be deterred, be determined. On the other site you mentioned, and on lots of other sites - most people aren't trying to remain anonymous, in fact, mostly the opposite, they want to be known influencers! Here, at 7 Cups - a mental health support site, we are all asked to remain anonymous so we can share safely and gain emotional support in a far safer way. That way teachers, parents, friends, prospective bosses or anyone, may read our posts but not have a clue that they are written by us. We can share safely and improve our mental health.
Good point. Thanks ❤️
@MistyMagic
@Creamyyy I'm not an internet security export but for pictures, I try to keep a few things in mind:
- Don't share pictures of my face here (I know some people are comfortable doing this, I am not).
- Don't use the same picture on 2 different sites if I don't want those profiles linked (so if I share something on 7cups I do not share it anywhere else online)
- Don't use a very similar picture on 2 different sites. For example, if I took 2 pictures of the same thing, similar lighting, same background, etc. With reverse image search seems too likely these pictures would be linked.
- Don't share something rather unique (search-wise) if I share that elsewhere. If I like to paint rainbows and share one here and a different one on social media, that's fine. While my style is unique to me, search tools are unlikely to pick up those 2 were both made by me out of all the other rainbows out there. If I like to dress up as a t-rex and post with my rainbow paintings? Even if the backgrounds are completely different, a t-rex holding rainbow paintings is unlikely to have a lot of hits.
Those are great tips. Thanks for sharing them.. id keep it in mind.
Do you know if you delete your pictures from an app/ social media platform etc-- does it actually help ?
And - what about free images that are downloaded from places like shutter stock etc.. if you use them... is it more dangerous? Because other people might have done the same and any one tracing the pic could come across your info... just thinking all this first time.. been so ignorant.
@AffyAvo
@Creamyyy Yes, deleting helps. It's possible someone has copied information or there's a history saved, The more someone has to dig though, the less likely it is to find and not everything we share ends up saved somewhere.
I'm not sure I understand your concern of downloading an image someone else made.
@LanaAfterDark
Hi, thanks for asking about this!. To preserve the anonymity and safety of our users, exchanging off-site details is strictly prohibited.
At the top of every 1:1 chat, this text reads:
Safety & Reporting - Staying safe online starts with protecting your privacy. DO NOT share your personal details, contact info or social media handles. Your safety is our top priority. If you feel unsafe, please visit our Safety and Reporting Center to learn how we can best help.
I have written a post about off-site contact as wel,l which further explains the rule:
https://www.7cups.com/forum/safe7cups/Part2IntroductionsQuestionsAnswersandGeneralConversations_36/TheOffsiteContactRuleandHowItProtectsYou_361475/
If you have followup questions, do lemme know. 😊
@Heather225
Thanks, this is all really helpfull