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How to trust someone again who has consistently lied?

218 Answers
Last Updated: 09/24/2020 at 3:56pm
How to trust someone again who has consistently lied?
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
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Hisham Tawfik, M.S.W.

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Counseling and psychological services are my passion more than my work, It is all about love, and love is the only real value.

Top Rated Answers
TheTripleS719
September 17th, 2016 7:29am
Honestly? The way I see it, if they have consistently lied, they can't be trusted. That doesn't necessarily mean they can't be in your life anymore, things just might not ever be the same.
spottydogs15
October 15th, 2016 1:55pm
It is very difficult to trust someone after they have lied consistently to you. It will not happen overnight or easily. To build back up the trust, the person needs to prove to you that they are capable of being honest. The person who has lied needs to be aware that it is the right thing to do to tell the truth, regardless of the consequences. Open and honest communication is the very important.
Michalla
November 26th, 2014 12:05pm
Question is, If it is a good idea to trust somebody like that. Why would you want do trust somebody who betrayed you in the past? I highly recommend to consider this. However, if the person wants to change, you can give him one more chance, but be carfull. Don't trust him blindy and absolutely. Sometimes it is good to check if it's true, what the person is saying. It is easy to lost someone's trust but it is incredibly difficult to get it back. And the person should know it and understand it.
neverland19
January 21st, 2016 7:55pm
I always find something good in person who has consistently lied,i always find that lie is for a reason,it's not good advice but i am just like that,i always trust again,and again.
Anonymous
April 11th, 2016 2:06am
you don't. if you have entrusted someone with things and they've lied, there's pretty much no way of getting that trust back.
Anonymous
September 29th, 2016 4:59pm
Learn to let go and have no expectations. Everyone has a reason as to why they they don't want to let go...but if you let go hopefully you will also be helping the other person.
Anonymous
February 24th, 2017 2:35am
The only way to trust someone is to do just that. The real question here is why are you putting yourself in a position to be lied to again?
girlnextfloor
June 10th, 2017 10:28pm
Someone who has proven themselves to be a consistent liar can only be trusted to do one thing: continue lying. Everyone deserves a second (and a third) chance, but when a pattern of behavior becomes impossible to ignore any longer, it may be time to consider removing that person from your life.
PandaEyed
June 16th, 2017 11:26pm
Perhaps... You don't. You may find the determination to choose to trust them, but whoever has "consistently" lied to you clearly hasn't earned your trust. If you want to still keep them in your life, I'd advise giving them a 'last chance' to show that they can be trustworthy; but frankly, don't let yourself get stuck in a bad situation just because you are too kind to let them go, or too afraid of losing them. Your friends/family/partners are only going to be worth keeping around if they respect you.
thelistenman
September 3rd, 2015 6:54am
Personalty, when some one continually lies to you it is very difficult to trust them ever again. this is the harsh truth of things, lying is something one continues on through a persons life.
erin749
September 6th, 2015 10:35am
Trust is something that is gained. If there is no desire to keep this person in your life, then remove them immediately. That is a toxic relationship that you do not want to have.
Anonymous
September 11th, 2015 8:01pm
you can give him a second chance but beware that he lied and he did it once he will do it over and over and over you can give him a second chance but just becareful and take precautions
Anonymous
September 13th, 2015 8:42am
The simple answer for me is forgiveness, because I find it so empowering. In my experience it assuages me of the burden of thinking about it, leaving me with a positive outlook. That doesn't necessarily mean I would forget being lied to but it would give me a foundation on which the person could rebuild my trust and earn my respect.
warmSunshine98
September 16th, 2015 12:58pm
It is hard to trust someone who have hurt you with consistently lies. To be able to live a productive life let the past of hurt go or the person who always lies . Let go of a person who does not make good choices . Keep positive people in your life and out with the negative.
originalBerry36
September 30th, 2015 4:37am
I don't really know, but as a person who has lied too my husband on numerous occasions when I was in my active addiction I can say its hard. I cant make promises because he wont believe me, but I am going to spend as much time needed to show him I got my head on right this time and I will never hurt him again.
theycallmeRea
November 9th, 2015 11:40pm
You just can't. It's like rereading a book but you know the end of it . So you just don't is up to you if you want to get hurt or not
Anonymous
November 22nd, 2015 7:09am
Try to slowly introduce the person back into your life, without rushing it. If even if it's asking a favor from them every once in a while, try to do it SLOWLY.
Anonymous
December 24th, 2015 11:53am
It depends on what they lied about and what the relationship was. If it was a small lie may just be aggravated, If it was a huge lie it will just take a lot of time before you can trust them again.
alyssa19
January 6th, 2016 4:58am
To gain someone's trust that has consistently lied is a difficult task. One may be reluctant to confide and trust in someone who has been often let down, or lied to. The best way to gain trust with someone who has burned you once is to take your own time with what you are comfortable with. Only do activities and have conversations you feel are appropriate, and always remember that you are never due for an explanation.
Lotus48
January 6th, 2016 4:31pm
Learn how to ween out the truth. Listen to the person's words, and the tone in which they present to you. Ask concrete questions, and see if the correspond with each other. Repeat the same questions and see if they reply the same.
squeek
January 7th, 2016 5:33am
If they've constantly lied I wouldn't trust them again. An old saying comes to mind fool me once shame on you fool me twice shame on me
incrediblePurple91
January 8th, 2016 12:02pm
You must first realize that you cannot change the person. If this person has consistently lied to you, do not expect an overnight change in them. My best advice is to remove yourself from any type of relationship with this person until they decide that lying to those that care about them is not a good thing to do. If this person has committed a change to you and is working on no longer being deceitful, trust must be rebuilt. It is difficult and takes a lot of time, but it can be done with patience and mutual understanding.
Anonymous
January 13th, 2016 5:53pm
It can take a long time, to trust someone again, but if you want to trust them again, then they at some time earn your trust again
PrincessKaylaxoxo
January 20th, 2016 1:16pm
Many people have interactions with others who aren't completely honest. Some people are less honest than others. The important thing is to identify these people, so you can listen more carefully. Listen to what they say, and if it sounds less than truthful, confront them about it. Maybe there is a deeper reason to why they aren't being truthful. Talk to them about it. Tell them that they can be truthful to you, that you won't judge them. They may open up to you, they may not. And if they continue to lie, distance yourself from them, and when you talk to them, listen carefully to what they're saying so that you have a clue if they're being truthful or not.
Arakhthanda
February 10th, 2016 4:36pm
The best way is to allow the person that lied to build the trust with me as a person through actions. It is through actions that I can see what is within the individual rather than to adhere to the words they say.
Anonymous
September 30th, 2016 1:00pm
The lies may seem innocuous and innocent but the reality is that this person feels lies are acceptable. He or she may lie about being late coming home or say they did something that you needed done but in reality didn't do it. No major lies about infidelity or money but a pattern is being established where lying becomes second nature to the truth. Stop making excuses for the person who lies to you over and over again. He's not going to change and you can't expect him to be truthful
Anonymous
June 15th, 2017 3:11am
After repeated betrayal, it really is hard to regain trust. Time heals wounds, but it also creates space, and it can feel like reopening wounds so sometimes its hard to make amends again and again:'/
Anonymous
December 1st, 2017 6:59am
It is difficult to trust someone who consistently lies or has manipulative behavior. This person will need to prove over an extensive period of time that have stopped their lying ways. There is no reason for you to trust this person until they have a pattern of reliability. It's okay not to trust liars. However, if the person is making an honest effort, they can empathize with your position and will understand that you cannot trust them until a period of time has passed in which they have been truthful. Consider what compromises this person can make with you in the meantime, depending on their lying habits. For example, if the person has lied about who they speak with, are they comfortable showing you their phone from time to time? Trust goes both ways, however. Do NOT snoop on someone who has been lying to you. You too must remaining trustworthy to the other person. If you cannot think of any compromises, ask the other person what they would be willing to give up to prove to you that they are being honest from time-to-time. If the other person is unwilling to compromise on anything, let them know that they are making it even harder for you to trust them. Don't tell the person, but think to yourself how long you will wait to assess their trustworthiness again - a month? six months? How many more chances are you going to give this person - one, two? Try to be open-minded in this time if the person has expressed that they want to stop lying. Keep your boundaries. If the time comes and you decide you still don't trust them, let them know you'd like to take a break from interaction. If the person crosses their chances, let the person know they have lost their last chance and you'd like to take a break from interacting with them. You deserve to be around people who you feel comfortable with, with whom you feel you can trust, who trust you in return. These are just options and by no means are a path to success. Trust is a difficult thing and will take a lot of communication and self-reflection to sort out. Good luck!
Anonymous
March 28th, 2018 4:06am
You don't.
Hashib22
April 18th, 2020 11:05am
Your question telling the answer. Yes, how can we trust someone who lied constantly because we can't trust. It will be foolish to trust a liar. The lie is the root of all crime. A criminal starts doing crime from telling lies. If you trust a liar again and again, then you're feeding his criminal trait constantly and maybe one day that person even won't feel hesitated to kill you. So better not to trust a liar. There should miles of distance from a liar. Vigilant people get harmed less by bad people so instead of wasting time on trusting a great liar you better learn ways to be vigilant. Thank you