How to trust someone again who has consistently lied?
246 Answers
Last Updated: 05/14/2023 at 1:19am
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Polly Letsch, LCSW
Clinical Social Work/Therapist
I provide non-judgmental, person-centered, objective therapeutic treatment for individuals of all ages to improve social, emotional, mental and other areas of functioning.
Top Rated Answers
take it step by step. Take baby steps, and see if you can trust them with the little things. its not always easy, but it will work itself out.
I believe there's something to trust in everyone, even if I have to trace my way to the core of the individual. Surface influences sway individuals to act in dysfunctional or even neurotic ways. I may not be able to trust someone to tell the truth or be reliable, but I can trust in the individual at the root of their being.
Anonymous
November 29th, 2015 2:14pm
How can I trust someone again?.. based on my experience *as I trust everyone easily* I always make some challenging questions/ fake but challenging situations for them to answer/do. Once I saw them do the same thing like they always did, I won't trust that person that much anymore. but when I saw something new and satisfying I will trust them like how I did
Anonymous
December 3rd, 2015 9:05am
Start out slowly and make them Gain your trust back,be careful for yourself also trusts easy to loose hard to gain but just ease your trust in and you should be fine.
Put simply, it is not a very good idea to just trust someone who has consistently lied, however, that being said, you shouldn't not give them any chance to redeem themselves. You should gradually give them small task that will display some trust in them and then as they do these thing you will gradually learn to trust them more. However, do not put your guard down, it is important to make sure you are not endangering yourself by trusting them again.
You have to make them gain trust slowly through communication and honesty. This process might take a while, but at least you'll know for sure by the end it is worth trusting this person again.
I say this is going to be a tough one. But i really don;t want to deny an ear to anyone. maybe I'll just have to put up limitations. Possibly ask a few questions as well to verify the authenticity of the given statement and maybe say no when things really gets so doubtful. With this, we can avoid hurting someone while being too cautious at the same time.
Trust is something that's hard to gain once its been lost but it takes a lot of time to rebuild it if you really want to give that trust back. Don't let one experience mess up your trust for everyone else.
I think you give them another try at the friendship, rebuilding trust, can rebuild a friendship!
That is always going to be a hard thing to do, but whether you choose to trust this person again is your choice.
As cliche as it sounds, time really heals all wounds. If you are willing to forgive them and they have expressed that they won't lie to you anymore - trust will simply come with time. Don't rush it. As long as they are actively trying to regain your trust, overtime you'll see if they are sincere or not and you'll be able to trust them again.
Anonymous
January 7th, 2016 10:16pm
Hard, but you have to remember that you are just humans and that it is on you to decide weather you will trust again or not.
Trust is a thing that takes time to build. Then the answer to "how" is time, let time does it thing and be open to possibilities. You can never assume it is going to work again or that it is not going to work again.
You just have to give them some time. Give yourself some time too, and try to relax. Time has a way of healing some issues before they get too out of control.
Always believe in second chances , If that someone really means something to you.. You have to let go of the past and forgive him/her. Forgiveness is accepting.
Anonymous
March 26th, 2016 6:58am
It is very tough, because you will have that doubt in the back of your mind, it will take time and faith. Counselling as a couple can help, to work through those emotions.
That's a tough one. There are big lies and small ones. If you feel uncomfortable with trusting again- trust YOURSELF and move on from the situation and the person who betrays your trust. Trust is earnedðŸ‘ðŸ»
Well, you would first have to determine that individual's significance to you. If you feel that they are essential to your life despite the lies, then you make the choice to trust them and take them at their word. Still, make sure the person is making an effort to build an honest relationship with you. Take it slow.
It is extremely hard to trust someone who has consistently lied to you. But the fact of the matter is trust has to be built up and earned over time. It is not something to just be given carelessly away. If someone has deceived you it is their responsibility to redeem themselves with consistent honesty.
You can't really. Or maybe you can, depending on the situation itself. Why did this person lie? Are the reasons for lying somehow justified? Does he still have these reasons to lie? Did he just has a period of lying, or is he a liar from an early age? How big were lies? Based on questions like that, i would try to determine if i can trust this person, but the process would be really slow and i would keep both my eyes and ears open.
Some people forgive and forget; others forgive but don't forget or they forget but don't forgive. Either way, to build trust again would be quite hard at this point. But all people are different, some can trust more easily than others and some people just can't see through past betrayal. Do what you feel is right in your heart.
It's difficult to trust someone who has consistently lied and you can't blame yourself for not being able to. One way to try to trust someone is by going to therapy with them. For example, a relationship can try couples therapy.
You don't have to fully give your trust to somebody who consistently has lied to you. You can stay friends / other with them, still treat them nicely, still talk to them, but just remember that lying may be a problem of theirs and keep that in your mind when you're dealing with them. Don't let yourself get hurt again, but you don't have to hurt them, either. :)
I hope this helps!
Trust takes years and years to build up, But can only take a matter of seconds to crumble and be destroyed and that's why it's such a hard thing for so many people to build up again. If you're deciding to try and trust someone who has betrayed this privilege to you before, I'd highly recommend that you take it slow and cautiously. Take it one day at a time, And if you find yourself being lied to again, It's just not worth the pain. I highly believe in second chances myself, But at the end of the day I have to do what is right for my own well being/Mental/Emotional health.
My wife lied so many times,I tried talking to her about finances which she lied about. We would end up fighting. So instead of asking I would do drugs to be numb. We'll after 30 years she wants to throw in the towel. I lied to her as well about my drug use. She gave me many chances went to rehab three times.
Now I'm so sad I know it's all my fault. So lying doesn't work for anybody.
Make it clear to him that if he is going to lie again that will be the end of the relationship. And give them a chance and be open.
For me personally i usually slowly take there actions into account and over a long long time decide weather they are trustworthy and i will sometimes tell them certain things and if it doesnt come back to me i take that into account
It is not an easy process and requires self-awareness! However it is possible through forgiveness, understanding why the other person has lied, not to take it personal, and give another chance. Always be loving although it may not be the easiest.
trust takes time to earn and no time at all to break, comparatively speaking. as much as you want to patch it all up and make everything okay again, restoring trust in someone who is not earning it will not make anything better. if this person has consistently been dishonest, and you are finding you cannot trust what they say, you have to honor yourself and your emotional well being in this situation. the bottom line, is you have to allow time for that person to turn things around, and to create a new track record for themselves. sometimes a conversation with them is a good start to that, but be judicious and use caution.
I think the best way to trust them is to forgive them for yourself, number one. Then, I think it's important to remember that other people are not perfect. While this doesn't excuse their lies, it does explain that one person will never not lie and that it isn't your fault that someone is untrustworthy.
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