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How to trust someone again who has consistently lied?

218 Answers
Last Updated: 09/24/2020 at 3:56pm
How to trust someone again who has consistently lied?
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
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Hisham Tawfik, M.S.W.


Counseling and psychological services are my passion more than my work, It is all about love, and love is the only real value.

Top Rated Answers
December 4th, 2015 7:35am
Put simply, it is not a very good idea to just trust someone who has consistently lied, however, that being said, you shouldn't not give them any chance to redeem themselves. You should gradually give them small task that will display some trust in them and then as they do these thing you will gradually learn to trust them more. However, do not put your guard down, it is important to make sure you are not endangering yourself by trusting them again.
December 6th, 2015 7:28pm
You have to make them gain trust slowly through communication and honesty. This process might take a while, but at least you'll know for sure by the end it is worth trusting this person again.
December 9th, 2015 2:08pm
I say this is going to be a tough one. But i really don;t want to deny an ear to anyone. maybe I'll just have to put up limitations. Possibly ask a few questions as well to verify the authenticity of the given statement and maybe say no when things really gets so doubtful. With this, we can avoid hurting someone while being too cautious at the same time.
December 25th, 2015 8:21pm
Trust is something that's hard to gain once its been lost but it takes a lot of time to rebuild it if you really want to give that trust back. Don't let one experience mess up your trust for everyone else.
December 31st, 2015 11:33pm
I think you give them another try at the friendship, rebuilding trust, can rebuild a friendship!
January 6th, 2016 10:26pm
That is always going to be a hard thing to do, but whether you choose to trust this person again is your choice.
January 7th, 2016 9:53pm
As cliche as it sounds, time really heals all wounds. If you are willing to forgive them and they have expressed that they won't lie to you anymore - trust will simply come with time. Don't rush it. As long as they are actively trying to regain your trust, overtime you'll see if they are sincere or not and you'll be able to trust them again.
January 7th, 2016 10:16pm
Hard, but you have to remember that you are just humans and that it is on you to decide weather you will trust again or not.
January 13th, 2016 2:13pm
Trust is a thing that takes time to build. Then the answer to "how" is time, let time does it thing and be open to possibilities. You can never assume it is going to work again or that it is not going to work again.
January 17th, 2016 3:19am
You just have to give them some time. Give yourself some time too, and try to relax. Time has a way of healing some issues before they get too out of control.
February 8th, 2016 3:50am
Always believe in second chances , If that someone really means something to you.. You have to let go of the past and forgive him/her. Forgiveness is accepting.
March 26th, 2016 6:58am
It is very tough, because you will have that doubt in the back of your mind, it will take time and faith. Counselling as a couple can help, to work through those emotions.
April 22nd, 2016 2:17am
Well this question is as hard as fixing glasses... there is always scare.. this make me put some red lines
September 14th, 2016 1:43pm
That's a tough one. There are big lies and small ones. If you feel uncomfortable with trusting again- trust YOURSELF and move on from the situation and the person who betrays your trust. Trust is earned👍🏻
January 19th, 2017 2:36pm
Well, you would first have to determine that individual's significance to you. If you feel that they are essential to your life despite the lies, then you make the choice to trust them and take them at their word. Still, make sure the person is making an effort to build an honest relationship with you. Take it slow.
January 21st, 2017 2:16am
It is extremely hard to trust someone who has consistently lied to you. But the fact of the matter is trust has to be built up and earned over time. It is not something to just be given carelessly away. If someone has deceived you it is their responsibility to redeem themselves with consistent honesty.
March 1st, 2017 10:03am
You can't really. Or maybe you can, depending on the situation itself. Why did this person lie? Are the reasons for lying somehow justified? Does he still have these reasons to lie? Did he just has a period of lying, or is he a liar from an early age? How big were lies? Based on questions like that, i would try to determine if i can trust this person, but the process would be really slow and i would keep both my eyes and ears open.
June 14th, 2017 11:14am
I think trust has to be earnt, and it's not up to you to find a way for you to trust the person - it's up to them to behave in a way where they earn your trust again. Trust is something we use to protect ourselves, and if you've lost your trust in a person, it's because you're trying to protect yourself from that person hurting you again. They have to show that they've changed enough that you can feel safe with them. Essentially, the onus is on them, not you, to change that.
July 21st, 2017 3:33pm
Some people forgive and forget; others forgive but don't forget or they forget but don't forgive. Either way, to build trust again would be quite hard at this point. But all people are different, some can trust more easily than others and some people just can't see through past betrayal. Do what you feel is right in your heart.
August 13th, 2017 7:31pm
It's difficult to trust someone who has consistently lied and you can't blame yourself for not being able to. One way to try to trust someone is by going to therapy with them. For example, a relationship can try couples therapy.
September 9th, 2017 4:52pm
You don't have to fully give your trust to somebody who consistently has lied to you. You can stay friends / other with them, still treat them nicely, still talk to them, but just remember that lying may be a problem of theirs and keep that in your mind when you're dealing with them. Don't let yourself get hurt again, but you don't have to hurt them, either. :) I hope this helps!
September 21st, 2017 10:22pm
Trust takes years and years to build up, But can only take a matter of seconds to crumble and be destroyed and that's why it's such a hard thing for so many people to build up again. If you're deciding to try and trust someone who has betrayed this privilege to you before, I'd highly recommend that you take it slow and cautiously. Take it one day at a time, And if you find yourself being lied to again, It's just not worth the pain. I highly believe in second chances myself, But at the end of the day I have to do what is right for my own well being/Mental/Emotional health.
November 21st, 2017 6:56am
My wife lied so many times,I tried talking to her about finances which she lied about. We would end up fighting. So instead of asking I would do drugs to be numb. We'll after 30 years she wants to throw in the towel. I lied to her as well about my drug use. She gave me many chances went to rehab three times. Now I'm so sad I know it's all my fault. So lying doesn't work for anybody.
April 21st, 2018 11:39pm
For me personally i usually slowly take there actions into account and over a long long time decide weather they are trustworthy and i will sometimes tell them certain things and if it doesnt come back to me i take that into account
April 27th, 2018 10:19pm
trust takes time to earn and no time at all to break, comparatively speaking. as much as you want to patch it all up and make everything okay again, restoring trust in someone who is not earning it will not make anything better. if this person has consistently been dishonest, and you are finding you cannot trust what they say, you have to honor yourself and your emotional well being in this situation. the bottom line, is you have to allow time for that person to turn things around, and to create a new track record for themselves. sometimes a conversation with them is a good start to that, but be judicious and use caution.
December 19th, 2018 3:50pm
First of all, accept that it will be hard. Let them know that you're trying to trust them again, and that anything they do to prove their trustworthiness is noticed and appreciated. Tell them that your relationship is in a fragile place, so anything they do to breach your trust will send you back to the beginning of the journey. Sometimes, you're subconscious won't actually trust the person still. Your brain automatically gets defensive after being lied to so many times. But if you believe they are changing for the better, you have to make a conscious leap of faith to trust them. The longer you make the leap the more natural it will feel.
May 11th, 2019 7:42pm
I think the answer is you can't, or perhaps shouldn't. If this person must be in your life, then I think you need to explore ways in which you can live with them while not trusting them completely. If they don't need to be in your life, it might be worth giving them some space or moving on from them. But if you feel that you should try to trust them simply because you need to keep them around, I'm not convinced it's something you should or even could do. If they've consistently proven that they are not trustworthy, unfortunately I think that's something you need to come to terms with and work around as much as possible/is necessary.
January 26th, 2020 8:23am
I think its natural and normal to not be able to trust someone who has broken our trust and understandably so. Because our brain has a way of protecting itself from disappointments and pain, so it wont trust something or someone which has given it a sense of lack of ability to be trusted so that we don't suffer from disappointments. Naturally, I don't think I could do much to trust such a person, other than maybe seeing them in a different light to project a different self they have and to give that more importance than the person whom I think they are when lying. The easiest way though would be for them to change if possible. I hope you find a way
May 20th, 2015 7:31pm
You don't its not worth the time but if its is important to you you just deal with it
June 12th, 2015 6:41pm
Trust goes both ways