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I have a hard time talking about what happened. Why?

20 Answers
Last Updated: 06/15/2020 at 10:52pm
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Top Rated Answers
October 25th, 2014 9:54pm
It's normal to have a hard time talking about something traumatic that has happened to us. We feel like we are putting ourselves in a vulnerable place and we don't know the reactions of others when we tell them about our situation.
September 11th, 2014 8:28pm
It's hard to open up about something that happened because people usually try to forget it or they're scared to be judged/blamed for what happened.
October 27th, 2014 4:08pm
Traumatic experiences are something that hurt every time you resurrect the memory. Talking reminds you of that and forces you to vocalize it.
November 2nd, 2014 3:28am
Because of what happened in the past. My family wants me to be quiet about the family secret. I choose not to do be quiet I choose help people who have been through I have been through.
November 8th, 2014 5:55pm
It can always be a difficult thing to talk to people about things that have happened to us. Its not a weird or uncommon thing. Often we are worried about what they think about us. We are worried about their reaction, who they might tell, and what they might do! I know from my own experience any time I tell someone something that has happened I usually feel like a weight has been lifted off of my shoulders! xoxo ~Emily
September 13th, 2015 10:08pm
Several reasons; 1) We are ashamed of what happened to us, so we think that we are dirty, unclean, or unworthy of compassion, and therefore we don't want to tell anyone about it because we fear they may judge us negatively for the experience. 2) We feel that it is a weakness. Someone hurt you very badly, if you expose that part of yourself to another, they could hurt you too. Weakness is also something that many people are ashamed of. 3) Someone, at some point, either told, or suggested, that you remain silent. If you observed a violent crime, or were the victim of domestic abuse or assault, and the perpetrator said "Don't tell of I will hurt you and your family", that can cause your subconscious to place a sort of lock on the memory. Your conscious mind knows the reality of the situation, but your subconscious still thinks "I, or my loved ones, could be hurt if I talk." 4) If you aren't in a safe and controlled environment, talking about it could just bring up the memories, or induce flashbacks, with no resolution. These are all good reasons why talking to a therapist is really important. In that environment you know that you are safe, will not be judged, and that any memories and/or flashbacks that you have will be dealt with by a trained professional.
November 13th, 2014 6:23pm
It could be that you're still processing it yourself or you don't know how to put your feelings into words.
November 16th, 2014 4:42am
Sometimes talking about trauma can be upsetting because it forces you to recall details about the incident that make you feel distressed.
November 17th, 2014 4:30pm
It's normal that you don't feel comfortable with talking about what happened to you. Maybe you just need to figure out stuff for you on your own before you talk to other people. :)
December 22nd, 2014 4:36am
Talking about bad things that have happened are hard, we might feel emotional or upset because we have to look back on memories that may hurt or feel uncomfortable. But the best thing you can do is talk!
December 26th, 2014 6:24am
I think people have a hard time talking about something that happened especially if it's traumatic because somehow it makes them relive that moment, making them feel all the emotions that they used to feel that time.
January 2nd, 2015 7:26am
It's not easy talking about significantly negative events, for a number of reasons. Sometimes bringing the event back up stirs emotions you'd rather have buried and feel uncomfortable with having them resurfaced. Sometimes memories are triggered that can hurt or be a source of more discomfort. Sometimes talking about it raises questions you don't have answers to, which can be frustrating. It can be a cause of stress, it can hurt, it can depress. Sometimes you just want to forget. It's important to understand that it's okay to feel like this, and you don't have to talk until you're ready.
January 3rd, 2015 2:50am
you could be suffering from trauma from the event(s). that's perfectly normal, but extremely unhealthy. the best thing to do depending on your willingness and, of course, situation is to open up to a professional maybe whom especially specializes with this area of situation. if you don't yet feel comfortable, maybe you can talk about the guilt and/or shame associated with how you're feeling about what happened. you can avoid talking about it, til you feel comfortable opening up, but you do have many options in talking about how you feel about it!
April 25th, 2015 8:00pm
There might be a few reasons... sometimes we are afraid that people wont believe us, or we are afraid of people's judgement. Other times we feel too hurt or embarrased. And sometimes memories hurt, and talking causes flashbacks and pain... these feelings are all normal
May 17th, 2015 1:37pm
Usually it's hard to talk about something that happened because you're afraid to relive the experience over again just by thinking about it (much more talking about it). Or there are some cases where you don't want to talk about it because you want to forget it ever happened or you just think that your problems are insignificant (which it isn't, okay?)
September 8th, 2015 11:36pm
There might be a boat load of reasons why you might find it difficult to discuss what happened with you. I can tell you from my perspective though: I always felt as if no one would understand, they wouldn't care, they would judge me negatively, they may start to hate me, or they would just treat me differently. Lo and behold, all of these things did end up coming true, but when I discussed it with my best friend and my current s/o, they have only been there for me as much as I needed. The people that I began meeting started to become more like family to me and are always there. So, there can be a variety of reasons as to why you are having a difficult time sharing, but it's not always a negative thing, especially if it helps you out in the long run. Sending lots of love and hugs your way!
March 19th, 2018 12:15pm
It is very difficult to talk to someone else about things that are personal. However talking often make what bother us appear more manageable and less threatening.
July 8th, 2019 6:56pm
It might be due to the emotional suppression, do not hold back when it comes to expressing yourselves. Think about factors such as self-love, self-respect, and self-care. No one can understand you better than yourself. Sometimes you have to speak what is on your mind to prevent the blockage of your emotions. Try talking to yourself in front of the mirror, if you feel that lack of confidence is the reason this is happening. There are always people who will accept you for being you, and you won't be afraid to express yourself that day. But we cannot wait for that day to arrive, this is one of the aspects in something called fighting for life.
January 13th, 2020 1:19am
Maybe your brain is trying to process what happened. Sometimes when an incident happens, it causes us to have overwhelming feelings. Your brain is overloaded with cluttering pieces. Therefore, it may take time for the information to sink in. It is also possible your brain is in a shock mode. Your brain is on pause. It may be a good sign that your brain is protecting itself. It may take some time to recollect the memory and describe what happened in words. But as time goes by, it may be easier. Some people prefer pen and paper journalling over sharing verbally. But whatever works.
June 15th, 2020 10:52pm
It can be painful and confusing. Some experiences can be difficult to talk about, and that's totally normal. Sometimes we need some time to process what happened and then take the time to talk about it without pressure and slowly when we feel ready. Having a hard time opening up about something is okay, sometimes it takes some getting used to or getting comfortable especially if it's a painful situation. Reliving memories can cause a turmoil of emotions and even though embracing those emotions is good, it's not always easy. Being given a safe and supportive space here on 7cups can help with that process. Hope this help, best of luck!