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What is the most common misconception about forgiveness?

10 Answers
Last Updated: 12/15/2022 at 6:01pm
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United States
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Lisa Groesz, PhD

Psychologist

With evidenced based therapies, we find the root of the problem together to implement solutions. We all face crises, transitions, or disorders at some time.

Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
January 20th, 2020 4:36pm
The most common misconception about forgiveness is that forgiving someone makes you look weak. This isn't true at all! In fact, it makes you look very strong. You looked over all the bad and pain this person has caused you and forgave them. You took a step to be the bigger person. It's normally very hard to forgive someone after they have done something bad to you. You would feel pain, disgust, hurt.. Coming to terms with those emotions and showing the person who caused that, that you forgive them makes you so strong. You should never feel weak when forgiving someone when it makes you stronger than most.
Liouma
May 8th, 2018 4:12pm
Alot of people think forgiveness come only from words, bu t they are wrong, it must come from inside, it's the feeling of forgiving something with your soul, not from your mouth
BrightPlaces4
August 21st, 2018 4:52am
A misconception of forgiveness is that you still have to hold on. Forgiving can also mean that you can let go, let go of all of it. If you are forgiving a certain person that doesn’t mean that you have to have them in your life. You guys can move on and have separate lives. If you are forgiving yourself than you feel like you have to forget and put it in the past. You can still carry that memory with you but that doesn’t mean the you have to feel bad about them. That you have to feel the guilt. Let it all go and understand that you are growing.
Erato
February 1st, 2018 1:45pm
Forgiveness is not condoning anybody's wrong actions. Just because you forgive people, that doesn't mean you're letting them get away with the unacceptable deeds they've done to you.
romanticthi3f
February 8th, 2018 11:09pm
That you have to forgive people in order to move on. You don't. It's okay not to forgive someone. It is not essential for recovery and healing.
KaptainKurt1
April 23rd, 2018 2:24am
Hmm... I think (personally) the most common misconception about forgiveness is that it's for the sake of other people. In fact, it's so you can have peace within yourself with them and whatever situation has arisen, no matter how good anger/hate feels at times
RiseUp2020
May 15th, 2018 4:24pm
One of the most common misconceptions about forgiveness is that the other person will be 'off the hook' if you forgive them for it. I can tell you from personal experience and stories from friends that forgiveness does not work like that. In fact, it works in the opposite way. If you forgive the other person, then they have to come to terms with the fact that they hurt a genuinely good person. They will have to shoulder the burden. Only then will they have the opportunity to grow from it by apologizing or letting it go. Hope that helps
endearingLion70
June 25th, 2018 11:37pm
Forgive and forget. While forgiveness is not about forgetting what was done. It is about giving yourself permission to move on.
Nansidrew
August 13th, 2018 3:16pm
Forgiveness isn't just for the person you're forgiving's benefit. It's for your own benefit as well!
HermitHealer
December 15th, 2022 6:01pm
I can think of two: 1. That when you finally are able to forgive someone (or yourself) once, you won't ever feel resentment towards them ever again. This is not how healing usually works. Forgiveness is a process, meaning -- that just because you forgive someone in one moment, doesn't mean you won't have future moments where resentful feelings resurface for you to forgive the person all over again. But it's important to know that each time you do this, it gets a bit easier, and you are making progress. The path to growth and healing really is a spiral and not a straight line.