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How do I keep myself from dwelling on things that I can't change, or that I realistically have no control over?

9 Answers
Last Updated: 12/03/2020 at 11:53am
How do I keep myself from dwelling on things that I can't change, or that I realistically have no control over?
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

April Zamzow, CSW, MA, LPC

Licensed Professional Counselor

There are many times in our lives when we could use an ear to listen and help us through the things that we are struggling with. I can do that.

Top Rated Answers
June 25th, 2016 8:32am
To keep oneself from dwelling on things is to be mindful and to realize that you may not change happenings but you can manage how to react to such.
July 13th, 2016 6:10am
Once u know that u have no control over those things, why should u dwell on? As it is common feeling, u should take control of ur mind and thoughts on such situations. It takes time to practice the act. Once u start controlling ur mind and negative thoughts u will never have that bad feeling
October 20th, 2016 6:04pm
It sounds like you have anxiety. There are many things you can do to work on that. Check out the self-help guides about anxiety.
June 26th, 2016 6:24am
Try to distract yourself more often with fun activities that you enjoy, and surround yourself with people you like.
August 8th, 2016 6:20pm
I look to the future, look forward to things that I will appreciate. I also look at the past- at problems I had very little control over but still overcame.
April 4th, 2017 9:47pm
Live with the moment! It is life and stressing over the little things will just make the little time on this earth less enjoyable. Enjoy every second and find healthy ways of coping through the bad moments. Stay Strong, Life may be hard, but it's life.
June 27th, 2017 10:09pm
If there is truly nothing I can do about a situation, then I shift my focus to something I can control, which may be as simple as breathing. For me, yoga practice is a great way to shift my state of mind and bring myself back to my breath.
July 28th, 2020 6:46pm
The best thing to do is to focus on things you can change. Focus on the things that you do have control over. Focusing on these things will give you less time to dwell on other things you have no control over. As you improve in other areas and become better and better there may be a good chance that they will have some kind of carry over to the things you are dwelling on. In addition, becoming better in other area may help you become better suited to handle other and more difficult things. This certainly won't happen over night but it will be worth it in the long run.
December 3rd, 2020 11:53am
It can be difficult because even though you can't change it and have no control over it, you can still feel the pain. A situation that is affecting me right now is something I can't change and had no control over but it hurts deeply. Things my father had promised would be mine one day are gone. After he passed away everything went to mom. She gambled away too much and has been a codependent enabler as long as I can remember and the sister she enables received 10's of thousands of dollars that the rest of us were not supposed to know about. The land that had been promised to me was sold and the money given to the enabled one. My other sisters and I found out and there is nothing that can be done. Mom shows no remorse and feels justified. I can't change it and it was moms to control but it hurts like hell. She will one day pass away with three of her children angry and hurt and not attending her funeral. I'm sure that will haunt me some day tool.