How do I keep myself from dwelling on things that I can't change, or that I realistically have no control over?
9 Answers
Last Updated: 12/03/2020 at 11:53am
Moderated by
Smita Joshi, BA Psychology / MA / Advanced EFT Practitioner
Counselor
I am empathetic with my Clients going through emotional overwhelm and passionate in helping them. I am supportive, openminded & interactive in helping my clients.
Top Rated Answers
To keep oneself from dwelling on things is to be mindful and to realize that you may not change happenings but you can manage how to react to such.
Once u know that u have no control over those things, why should u dwell on? As it is common feeling, u should take control of ur mind and thoughts on such situations. It takes time to practice the act. Once u start controlling ur mind and negative thoughts u will never have that bad feeling
Anonymous
October 20th, 2016 6:04pm
It sounds like you have anxiety. There are many things you can do to work on that. Check out the self-help guides about anxiety.
Try to distract yourself more often with fun activities that you enjoy, and surround yourself with people you like.
Anonymous
December 3rd, 2020 11:53am
It can be difficult because even though you can't change it and have no control over it, you can still feel the pain.
A situation that is affecting me right now is something I can't change and had no control over but it hurts deeply. Things my father had promised would be mine one day are gone. After he passed away everything went to mom. She gambled away too much and has been a codependent enabler as long as I can remember and the sister she enables received 10's of thousands of dollars that the rest of us were not supposed to know about. The land that had been promised to me was sold and the money given to the enabled one. My other sisters and I found out and there is nothing that can be done. Mom shows no remorse and feels justified. I can't change it and it was moms to control but it hurts like hell. She will one day pass away with three of her children angry and hurt and not attending her funeral. I'm sure that will haunt me some day tool.
Anonymous
August 8th, 2016 6:20pm
I look to the future, look forward to things that I will appreciate. I also look at the past- at problems I had very little control over but still overcame.
Live with the moment! It is life and stressing over the little things will just make the little time on this earth less enjoyable. Enjoy every second and find healthy ways of coping through the bad moments. Stay Strong, Life may be hard, but it's life.
If there is truly nothing I can do about a situation, then I shift my focus to something I can control, which may be as simple as breathing. For me, yoga practice is a great way to shift my state of mind and bring myself back to my breath.
The best thing to do is to focus on things you can change. Focus on the things that you do have control over. Focusing on these things will give you less time to dwell on other things you have no control over. As you improve in other areas and become better and better there may be a good chance that they will have some kind of carry over to the things you are dwelling on. In addition, becoming better in other area may help you become better suited to handle other and more difficult things. This certainly won't happen over night but it will be worth it in the long run.
Related Questions: How do I keep myself from dwelling on things that I can't change, or that I realistically have no control over?
Why doesn't taking care of myself come naturally to me? I think I might be schizophrenic, but I'm afraid if I bring my concerns to a doctor, they'll tell me there's nothing wrong even if there is, because I already think I have it. What do I do?How do I let go of my past?Why do I want bad things to happen to me?How do I try to have motivation to do anything? How can I break my phone addiction?Why do I always feel either numb or sad?Why can't I move on from my old life(before I moved back to my home country)?I'm stuck in the past. All I can do is think about all my mistakes and what I missed out on. How do I let go?How can I start a writing career?