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Sometimes I really think I was meant to be a different gender, but then other times I really like my gender. What's wrong with me?

40 Answers
Last Updated: 08/27/2019 at 12:05am
Sometimes I really think I was meant to be a different gender, but then other times I really like my gender. What's wrong with me?
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Jennifer Fritz, LMSW, PhD

Clinical Social Work/Therapist

Day to day life can be stressful and overwhelming and my strength is assisting my clients in a supportive, empowering and practical manner.

Top Rated Answers
Rebecca
March 8th, 2015 1:24am
Nothing is wrong with you! Gender can be very fluid for some people, and that is a-okay! You might be genderfluid or genderqueer, meaning you don't identify is either male or female. However, I can't really say, you are the only one who can decide. I suggest looking into different gender identities and seeing if there is something you really resonate with. Good luck! If you ever feel really confused, make sure to connect with a listener!
Rainbows94
May 7th, 2015 7:40am
Gender is not binary, it is not always male and female. Gemder is a big spectrum and it is the expression of the self, and as any other form of expression, it depends on the context and situation. Therefore, as an example, a gender fluid person might wear masculine clothes one day, and then the next day wear more feminine and puts on make-up. Gender is unique to every person. Remember that there is no wrong or right gender, the only right thing is to express yourself the way you feel.
Anonymous
April 23rd, 2015 3:29am
Nothing. Some people are non-binary, which means we aren't just one gender, but two or more. Have you heard of being genderqueer, genderfluid, or bigender? This is one place you could go to to check it out: http://neutrois.com/what-is-neutrois/ . It's confusing, you might feel you're the only person who's like this, who's broken, but there's nothing wrong with you and you're not alone.
JeileUK
April 13th, 2015 12:33pm
There is nothing wrong with you. Sometimes we have doubts about who we are and the body we're in. It is natural to certain extent, as we have both male and female in all of us. There might come a point when this questions replays constantly in your mind. It is at this stage when you might want to explore it further witha qualified Counsellor.
JinkzKitty
June 9th, 2015 10:04pm
There are many options on what this could be. You could be used to your birth gender but feel like another gender. You could be bigender, genderfluid, genderqueer, gender non-conforming, or many other of the non-binary variations. It can be hard to explain and understand sometimes and even being non-binary myself I have a hard time explain and feeling it myself.
Anonymous
May 17th, 2015 7:17am
Nothings wrong. It's completely normal. A lot of people fall for the same or opposite gender. Just be yourself.
Anonymous
June 6th, 2015 3:45pm
Our gender identity very rarely is black or white. Each person is different and it's impossible to say what's masculine or what's feminine, so there's nothing wrong with you, we are all human.
Manifestation
November 17th, 2015 11:33pm
There is nothing wrong with you. Gender fluidity is a very natural process and discovering yourself in this process can be a very amazing journey.
Hellelujah
January 26th, 2016 2:11am
Absolutely nothing is wrong! Some people identify as genderfluid. Much like the name, they feel that they flow between different genders from day to day.
Treespous
April 11th, 2017 5:53am
There is nothing wrong with you, in fact tons of people feel the same way you do! These feelings can be confusing and scary, but they're nothing to be ashamed of. They could be indicative of your gender identity. Switching between feeling like you are presenting as the right gender and feeling like you were assigned incorrectly could mean that you are non-binary, agender, genderfluid, or many other gender identities. Your gender is something only you can know, and it may take time for you to figure it out, but that's okay. In fact, you may find that your gender identity actually changes over time, and that's totally okay too! Identity labels are a tool meant to help you describe yourself and feel comfortable, so you can't get it wrong! Doing research about various identities and thinking about how you feel is the best way to start answering your own gender identity questions.
Probius
June 28th, 2016 6:43pm
There is nothing wrong with you, it sounds like you are gender-fluid, and that's okay. Some people feel like their gender changes over time, and there is nothing wrong with this.
Figgurs73
October 11th, 2016 6:38pm
There is certainly nothing wrong. Gender is completely conceptual, maybe you feel like wearing a dress, or putting make-up on; and other times, you feel like no make-up, baggy clothes and boxers. There is nothing wrong!! You can be you, you can sit back and relax. You don't need to be one or the other :)
invisiblepeanut
August 1st, 2016 11:23pm
Nothing is wrong with you! You can label this feeling however you like, but most would call this feeling gender fluidity! Being gender fluid means that one day you could feel like a boy, the next feel like a girl, and then, on occasion, maybe neither. Sometimes people sometimes feel like a boy and sometimes feel gender-less, without ever feeling like a girl. It's the same way with sometimes feeling like a girl and sometimes feeling gender-less. never feeling like a boy. However you want to identify is fine, as long as you are happy. That's really all that matters. Your gender identity is up to you.
QuietPower28
August 1st, 2016 10:26pm
Nothing is wrong with you don't worry :) I think you just need to find who you are, the experiences that shape your gender maybe haven't happened yet, then again you might be agender! Which is totally fine :)
Mia1
July 5th, 2016 1:09am
There is absolutely nothing wrong with you. It's absolutely okay to question your gender. It's absolutely okay to be confused. But you're not broken. 7 cups has a great forum of gender. It may be helpful to you! http://www.7cups.com/forum/LGBTQMOGIISupportCommunity_58/ResourcesforLGBTQMOGIICommunity_766/OnGenderIdentityandRespect_296/
Idontevencare
July 2nd, 2016 10:56pm
You might be genderfluid, meaning that your gender changes, and if you are that's totally fine. It's a real and valid identity, and there is nothing wrong with you.
Aayla
- Expert in LGBTQ+ Issues
August 27th, 2019 12:05am
It could be that you a non-binary person, meaning that you don't always identify 100% with one gender. Your identification with one gender or another may vary, and that's ok, there are many non-binary people who feel the same as you and it's totally normal. You're free to express your gender identity in any way that fits what you feel in a specific moment, while knowing that overall you aren't one gender only. Your identity is valid!
Anonymous
May 5th, 2017 9:12pm
There is absolutely nothing wrong with you. Its possible you may be gender fluid or agender, or gender queer, or demi-boy or demi-girl. There are many ways to identify or express your gender. Do some research into different genders, and you may see which one you feel expresses yourself correctly.
Jewel2264
June 6th, 2017 4:13pm
Nothing is wrong with you at all. If you really would like to be the other gender, go by that gender. No one should judge you for you being you.
NikkitheFox
July 10th, 2017 1:46pm
There is nothing wrong with you. It might strike you as a surprise, but a lot of people feel that way. What is gender anyway? You can be anything you want today. When you feel like being a guy, just do that and when you wish to be a girl, do that as well! (Saying for a personal experience)
BlushingRobot
September 4th, 2017 11:50pm
There is absolutely nothing wrong with you! For a lot of people gender isn't a binary, it's a spectrum. What you've described feeling sounds a lot like being Genderfluid. You could also be any number of other nonbinary (nb) identifying genders. It's definitely a subject worth looking into! Just know that there is absolutely nothing wrong with questioning yourself or your gender. Life is an experience personal to you! Don't be afraid to take time to understand yourself and who you are or want to be.
MayMorgan
February 6th, 2018 2:17am
You may enjoy certain aspects of both genders, say you were born a female, but sometimes wanted to be male. There’s nothing wrong with you, people may not always agree that it’s the right thing, but just because you are unsure if you are cisgender or not, doesn’t make anything wrong with you.
PeachSkin
June 4th, 2018 6:47am
Nothing is wrong with you! It’s totally okay to explore different options with your gender and sexuality,and there are lots of different terms used for people like you. You could identify as non-binary,where you don’t identify as any specific gender,but it sounds to me more like you’re gender-fluid,this means you’re constantly moving between the two binary genders,and sometimes you might not even feel like you need a gender! Do some online research and figure out what best describes you x
Anonymous
May 6th, 2019 2:21am
There’s nothing wrong with you; I think you might be genderfluid. If you don’t know what that is, it means that sometimes you’ll feel like one gender and sometimes you’ll feel like another, and it’s completely random. Unfortunately I can’t diagnose you with gender dysphoria, so maybe you should talk to someone about taking a dysphoria test to see if you have any dysphoria. If you don’t feel comfortable with the term genderfluid for yourself, you might want to look up other terms for gender that might describe you better. You might also be bigender, polygender, or pangender, but I definitely think that your gender identity fluctuates.
Anonymous
June 14th, 2016 10:07pm
There's nothing wrong with you at all. Genders are just a label to organise people into different categories to better study them. But until the day science is able to understand people better, genders / sexuality will always be misunderstood and people will always be wrongly judged/labelled!
OpenEarsOpenHeart
June 14th, 2016 3:30pm
Absolutely nothing is "wrong" with you! Perhaps, delving deeper into and further discussing the idea of feeling this way as being "wrong" would be an excellent starting point!
Greatlistener87
May 23rd, 2016 1:47am
Nothing is wrong with u, u might be in the stage of finding out what sort of sexuality you are. That is a though stage and will take time. Take your time and figure it out, let it grow on u as it is suppose to, don't be afraid to learn about urself more.
Anonymous
May 3rd, 2016 3:57am
You could possibly be gender-fluid. I have the same "problem." Sometimes I feel masculine, but other times I feel feminine. It's okay to be non-binary. Just do what makes you happy.
HonestLee
March 22nd, 2016 9:58pm
There's nothing wrong with you, and there's no reason that any of us have to pick just one. That type of thinking is referred to as the gender binary where there is only male or female. There is really more of a spectrum - some people feel they are one gender, some feel it changes depending on the day or mood or situation, some feel they are both at the same time, or some sort of combination therein. Others feel they are neither. ALL of these are acceptable - Transgender, bigender, genderfluid, cisgender, agender - there is nothing wrong with any of these or any others you may come across
Egaeus
February 29th, 2016 12:51am
There is nothing wrong with you. Gender identity can be, and often is, fluid. There is no need to pin yourself down on one specific gender if you don't feel comfortable doing so. For example, if you feel like a woman every odd day in a week and feel like a man the others, that's all right. Things are allowed to just be.