Why do I always feel like I am the wrong sexuality?
Last Updated: 06/10/2019 at 6:29am
Jennifer Geib, LCSWR
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Well, I personally feel that there is no such thing as a wrong sexuality. A sexuality is what it is, and thus there is no wrong or right. You may feel that you probably find yourself in the stage of exploration, but just remember that it is essential in determining your final route! Talk to anyone if it is of any help, cheers!
Because the society we live in has ingrained heteronormativity into us pretty much from birth. Most people experience being told that being anything but heterosexual is 'different' and that usually equals 'strange' in their young minds and then later results in feeling bad about their own sexuality. ( Unless this question is coming from someone who is unsure of their sexuality- in which case you might need to experiment a little and find what's right for you.)
What you feel tells you something about yourself. If you feel your the wrong sexuality, maybe you are.
You could have just not found a label that fits you. Or maybe labels aren't for you all together. You could try researching different sexualities (there are more than you think), and see if you feel comfortable calling yourself any of them. If so, you could get in touch with others who feel that way and learn more about yourself.
Sometimes we are faced with tough decisions about so many things. Those who have confusion about their sexuality feel stress even more so than someone who isn't confused about it. Step back, take a deep breath and do some soul searching. You'll find the answer you need!
Honestly? Because you simply cannot put a name, or a label, on such complex feelings. You don't fall in love with a certain type of human - or a gender - but a person themselves. It isn't always clear how they're going to manifest.
There are not any wrong or right sexualities. All that matters is what you like and how you feel. Be proud of who you are and never let anyone make you feel bad because of it. Be strong, we will always support you!
I'm not 100% sure that I understand the question but when I was younger I identified as bisexual and it never really felt right, after a while of learning about all the different sexualities I came across Pansexuality. I would think that the reason you feel you are the wrong sexuality is because you haven't found a sexuality that matches your feelings yet.
If you feel that, keep exploring yourself. there is nothing wrong with exploring and discovering (or not) that what you believed to be (because of what society "imposes") was wrong. I can be with you in this path.
There is a great chance that you are or you simply have not discovered that sexuality at this point in time.
Well, it depends. You may not be fully grounded in your sexuality for multiple reasons. For instance, you could just have trouble accepting as many do, or you could even not feel like your sexuality is true because it's *not*. For a long while I thought that I was gay but after thinking about it for a long while I realized that that just wasn't true. Keep on truckin', and good luck to you.
You may be feeling that you're the wrong sexuality; you're trying to figure yourself out. If you tell someone that you're gay/lesbian one day and a month later you decide you're bi, you're not lying to that person. You're simply trying to figure out who you're supposed to be.
Because not being heterosexual is often looked down on. If you actually say you are heterosexual and still feel this way, try experimenting with your interests. Being a Lesbian/Gay person or Bisexual, or Pansexual/Polysexual (And so on) Is perfectly fine. It's natural ;)
This may due to the mentality of the environment in which you grew up, to internalized prejudice, to fears or worries connected with being who you are, and more. It can be helpful to analyze your feeling of being wrong and try to look more deeply into when and how it started. You can still begin a journey of self-acceptance, even if it sounds difficult, because in the end, once you identify and work on the reasons why you can't accept yourself, you'll see that there's nothing wrong with being who you are! You're just a person, and you like who you like. Maybe seeking support and sharing thoughts with the LGBT community would help you coming to terms with your identity!
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