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If I don't self-harm, then how can I cope?

18 Answers
Last Updated: 10/20/2020 at 5:21am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Lisa Groesz, PhD


With evidenced based therapies, we find the root of the problem together to implement solutions. We all face crises, transitions, or disorders at some time.

Top Rated Answers
January 22nd, 2015 9:45pm
That depends on you, and the feeling. For example, music helps me. Depending on my mood, I can play angry music, or upbeat happy music. You dont need a blade to cope with hard times.
February 9th, 2015 2:37am
There are lots of healthy ways to cope with emotions, it all depends on what works best for you and what you enjoy doing. Do you like music? Try writing songs, or learning an instrument. Do you enjoy playing sports? Maybe joining a sports team or going on a run will help. Just some examples.
April 5th, 2015 2:48am
There are lots of ways to cope and not self-harm you can do things like journal , taking a walk , drawing , sports , and anything that makes you happy. There are also DBT skills you can use also.
May 21st, 2015 9:44am
I'm happy that you dont self-harm.. :) You can always send a message to us and we will help you out.
May 28th, 2015 6:32am
Oh, there are so many ways you can cope! You can play video games. Find a place to volunteer. Listen to music. Journal. Blog. Sing at the top of your lungs. Dance in the rain.
June 13th, 2015 12:18am
Learning to talk about your feelings thoughts and issues is really important. Coming on here and finding someone to talk to can truly give you a new perspective. You can also try what I see works quite well - that being an elastic band on your wrist that you snap each time you feel like you would want to hurt yourself. Just an idea.
June 17th, 2015 12:34am
Try doing something else, write down your feelings, go on a run, talk to someone on 7 cups even! Try to find alternatives besides self-harming. There are plenty out there.
July 7th, 2015 9:29pm
What helped me out was trying to externate my feelings in other ways. Writing on my skin what was going through my head instead of cutting myself brought me the relief I needed. I wouldn't stop writing until I felt that I could finally stop. It's guilt-free and I usually felt really good about myself afterwards.
October 26th, 2015 9:37am
Well I think there are a lot of things that you can busy yourself with. For example: you can make a blog, artworks, play music or anything else that could help you let out your feelings.
December 21st, 2015 3:49pm
Talking things out is one way to deal with your problems or pressure you may have another might be doing something that you enjoy an activity. Another helpful idea is taking what's called a 5 second vacation. You put it out of your mind thinking of a happier moment then come back to the reality of whatever the situation is with that feeling from what makes you happy.
January 26th, 2016 3:28am
Mainly, it depends what you are trying to cope for. Some coping skills could be doing an activity you like to do. Sf harm is possibly one of the worse ways to deal. I started and promise I wouldn't do it again and a year later in here learning how to stop.
March 21st, 2016 10:59am
There are a lot of other ways to cope, healthier ways than self-harm. For example, I find writing most beneficial for my recovery. But you can try anything: reading, writing, running, drawing, really anything that keeps your mind busy. Also, what I found really really helpful is talking to someone. I have support I never had before and honestly since I found 2 or 3 persons I can trust and talk to whenever I feel down, my recovery path is much easier. We are humans and it's in our nature to do things together. So don't suffer alone. There are people who care, trust me. ;)
June 28th, 2016 7:51pm
Find something that you're passionate about and every time you feel like cutting go and do that activity instead. Or wear rubber bands and every time you feel like cutting instead snap the rubber bands against your wrist or where ever you cut.
July 19th, 2016 2:52am
I can cope by working on healthier ways to deal with those strong feelings and finding out what works best for me. By gradually realizing that I am stronger than that. By realizing that I am worth more than I think I am and that I don't need to hurt myself to release what I am feeling. I can draw it out, sing it out, play it out, talk it out, etc.
July 19th, 2016 3:10pm
I find that drawing on myself worked really well, also by holding ice in my hand. If it's cutting out of anger, scribbling hard on paper can be a good quick way to let out a burst of emotion. If you feel numb of emotion and want to feel something the ice works well, or snapping a rubber band around your wrist. Sometimes the best coping method is just breathing and remembering the positive things in life. I know you can do it
September 11th, 2017 5:02pm
Redirect the urges into a less destructive way of coping. Different people find different ways work for them. Turning the negative feelings into a positive outlet can really make the differenece in stopping self-harm; whether that be painting and drawing, going to the gym and using physical exerciser or reading and concentrating on another place for a little while. Either way, you can cope without self-harm. Don't let it rule you.
July 2nd, 2018 1:52am
Write in a journal. Coping with depression and anxiety is difficult when you have no one to talk to, so "talk" to your journal!
October 20th, 2020 5:21am
Self-harming is destructive and it's good that you're looking to find other coping strategies. When you get urges to self-harm, I would recommend taking out a pen and drawing something on your arm or taking a sticker and sticking it on your arm. Through these methods, you're turning a destructive practice into something more constructive and relaxing. Drawing is therapeutic and can take your mind off of the thoughts about self-harm. Try listening to music whenever you get urges as well. You can create a playlist of upbeat music that will help you cheer up and take your mind off of the thoughts to self-harm