How to deal with self-harm alone?

192 Answers
Last Updated: 10/09/2019 at 9:43am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
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Deane Rain Marie, LMFT

Marriage & Family Therapist

I take a holistic approach in working with eating disorders, mood disorders, relationships, and the LGBTQ community. I use EMDR, Dreamwork, Stories, CBT and Cinema therapy.

Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
June 22nd, 2016 7:54pm
You don't need to deal with self harm alone. Find someone you can trust and talk to them about it. Self harm isn't an easy thing and it makes it so much harder when your facing it alone.
SunFlower700
July 14th, 2017 2:41am
To put an effective plan to deal with self-harm alone, it needs you to not be feeling like self-harming right now. First of all recognize why you self harm? Is that to feel something? A way to cope? To explain or discard your pain? Based on your answer you can decide to do other things instead of harming, for ex: if you do that to feel something, then an ice cube would be a nice alternative, or a long hot or cold path. Or if that to express your pain, you can try writing or listening to a song that describe your feelings. I know it might seem hard but never impossible. You can do it. You are able to manage it. I do believe in you.
pmqjune
February 9th, 2018 9:03am
Personally, I had to look at the literal process and logic of it. Most people tend to self harm because they're hurting, so, somehow, harming yourself is supposed to help, right? I have often heard and used the phrase in the past, "it numbs the pain", however, realistically, it doesn't physically numb the pain, make the pain go away, or help your mindset in anyway. The name says it itself, as you can see, self(harm). So, after that was resolved, I looked at what caused me to self harm. There were many issues, but I was specifically looking for my main triggers. This helped me to recognize the times in which I wanted to harm, which was important to know. It helped me to realize that when those triggers take place, I have to recognize that I will have to take extra precaution, and realize that those situations affect me the most. Basically, I was organizing my pain. When you organize your triggers, you are able to see many different reactions, for example, heavy breathing, crying, panic attacks, etc. The great thing about all of those, is that they happen naturally, for everyone. This means we have so many other solutions to take care of them! What I was looking for at this point were new, healthy coping mechanisms. 7 cups can provide you with many of these I believe, and you can also find others all over the internet. Once I found mine, I made them my first option before self-harm. Sometimes they didn't work, and that is okay. It is a tough habit to get over. Remember that it doesn't make you a failure, it doesn't make you weak, because really, just the fact that you're making the decision to deal with this by yourself is incredibly strong. Sometimes when you fall into a hole, it's hard to dig yourself out. But you are on your way up, my friend! When I was regularly able to replace self-harm with these other techniques, I made sure to dispose of all my utensils as soon as possible. I tried to do this as early in the process as I could because it's difficult to use those utensils when you don't have them. And if I must say, this was a really empowering moment. :) In my experience, letting the tears out and breathing were my two best friends. Always remember to use those healthy coping mechanisms. Practice them when you aren't feeling the need to harm yourself, that way you can make it a memorized motor movement. And!!! Most important tip of all: you can. You can always, always do it. You specifically, have all the power in the world to accomplish what you want, simply because you want it. Best wishes, friend! I really hope I could help, and good luck with your journey!
Bhappy001
July 17th, 2016 7:06pm
When you feel the urge to cut or harm, draw a butterfly and name it after someone you really love, if you cut where it is, it will die, it you don't it lives. These butterflies are extra special. take good care of them.
Anonymous
June 22nd, 2017 12:49am
Well tbh you can't it's like trying to deal with depression alone you will eventually realise that you need help
BreatheEasy247
June 24th, 2016 9:42pm
This is a very difficult thing to do. Because hiding it and keeping it to yourself will only hurt yourself more in the long run. You have to find healthier ways to cope and other things to distract or calm you down when you feel impulsive to self-harm. Reach out to people on this website, including myself or find a good support system through friends or family that you can trust.
Gyda
September 4th, 2016 3:27am
I think that's very important to know how to treat any wounds that need treating. Taking care of yourself is extremely important when you're dealing damage to your body. Not over-doing it is also important, but finding less 'risky' ways is also something someone can look into. Eventually - it will all pass. Nothing stays the same forever.
Dontworryigetitdude
June 24th, 2016 9:44pm
Self-harm is a tricky thing to overcome. Especially alone. You just need to put good thought into your brain. Don't think about the negative comments or the flaws in yourself. That won't help anyone. Thinking about how you handled something that's bothering you then thinking about a better solution to that problem is great help.
Anonymous
June 22nd, 2016 5:54am
Make sure you keep all your wounds clean, see how long you can go without doing it, try to get into therapy, and do your best to not be ashamed of it. There is no shame in your struggle.
Anonymous
June 25th, 2016 3:14am
Try things like running ice along your arm or flicking a rubber band on it. It can help to feel a little better
GroovyAart
August 31st, 2017 4:06am
You are never alone, even if you feel like you might be. If the feeling of self harm arises, a good first step would be to get in contact with someone you trust and/or can talk to. Express your emotions, talk about what's happening in your mind. If you have nobody to directly talk to, the 7 Cups community is always here to listen to you and think with you!
InsertYouNameHere
January 13th, 2018 5:05pm
Usually people engage in self-harm when they're feeling a lot of inner pain and suffering. When inflicting physical pain, it helps you to reduce the mental pain you're feeling. It's not only dangerous because of wounds, but it also could become addictive. It important to understand, that in hard time you're never alone and should not be alone. There are ways to get support needed. If not from people you know, then from help lines, online support etc. It's not something you need to fight alone. Let others help you.
Anonymous
February 4th, 2018 9:16am
I would like to suggest you to talk to someone about it. But of you are uncomfortable in opening up to people then you can try distracting yourself from your thoughts by doing things you generally like to do. Writing down your feelings in a diary can also help you. Some other things which you can do to control your urge is snap a rubber against the area where you want to self harm. Or apply some ice on your skin. Do some exercise as it releases hormone dopamine(correct me if I am wrong). I hope it helps
Anonymous
November 18th, 2017 5:36am
Self-harm is very hard to deal with alone, but if it is necessary, an effective method of dealing with it is distraction. If you feel an urge to hurt yourself, try to distract yourself with something else (Netflix, a walk, cooking food, etc.) This resource (http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f12-self-harm/t9418-alternatives-self-harm/) is extremely helpful and detailed of all the ways you can avoid hurting yourself.
gracefulLove78
November 18th, 2017 10:44pm
Try not to do it if you feel like doing it try do something else to take youre mind off it like ready a book or play a game
kaisea
November 19th, 2017 3:31pm
Take your mind of it by distracting yourself. Go to a different room. Open a book, your phone or the television.
Anonymous
November 22nd, 2017 3:56pm
There is no healthy way to deal with self harm by yourself. You need to reach out to trusted friends or professionals. What you are going through is not something you should go through alone. I know it is hard to start a conversation, but having a support network will make all the difference. Talk to a professional and find the best way to cope and get better.
Anonymous
November 24th, 2017 7:29pm
You don't, but what I did it every time I tried to harm myself I would always have a hair tie on my wrist and I would sling it at myself so I wouldn't do it.
Anonymous
November 29th, 2017 11:45pm
Selfharming is common coping method. You should try distracting yourself or speaking to someone you have trust in and finding the reasons why you are selfharming.
MelodicGhost
December 1st, 2017 5:17pm
Dealing with self-harm alone can be very difficult. I would suggest that you should find an alternative to self-harm. Whenever the urge becomes uncontrollable, indulge yourself in something that brings you peace of mind or talk with someone who is close to you about anything. You will feel that the urge passes away.
Emily619
December 7th, 2017 3:06pm
Self-harm can be very difficult to handle! Luckily, similar to other addictions, alternatives can be used, such as distracting yourself, the Butterfly Project, and so on.
Anonymous
December 8th, 2017 2:17am
always talk it out with your close family members. it may seem that you have no one to go to but trust me there's people out there that are willing to help.
Anonymous
December 9th, 2017 10:58pm
When we are alone our feelings of wanting to self harm can be amplified. 7 cups can be a great resource when feeling alone as it gives us a safe place to talk about the things triggering our urges. I also find that distraction techniques work the best as urges tend to lessen with time. When distraction isn't working you should try to find alternative coping methods that work for you.
Anonymous
December 10th, 2017 8:29pm
first, please, do not forget, you do not have to face it all alone, there are always some people who are ready to listen and support you, but right now if you are not feeling like talking to anybody, i could say, think yourself as somebody else, i say that every time, imagine your younger self and imagine everything you do, you are doing it to that fragile younger version of yourself, the child . Is that good to punish somebody like that? would you do it to someone else? all the time we worry about failing classes, failing our parents , disappointing people and etc, but what about failing ourselves? what about being faithful to ourselves? Be more sensitive to yourself
bakeonthelake
December 23rd, 2017 12:37am
From personal experience, it’s best to find what keeps you occupied and happy and focus on that instead or do the Butterfly Project to prevent from future self harm
Anonymous
December 29th, 2017 5:15am
Find some way to distract you from the urge to self-harm, whether it be a hobby, cuddling with a pet or a stuffed animal to feel less lonely, or just browsing the internet or reading books to find things you're interested in.
Anonymous
January 12th, 2018 10:51am
There are so many alternatives to self harm. One of the most highly regarded is to hold a piece of ice on the area you normally harm yourself, or to squeeze it in your hand. Once the ice has melted, the urge should have passed
xxabbey
January 24th, 2018 8:35pm
Well first of all good self harm alternatives,because you shouldnt be hurting your body its too precious dont cause pain upon yourself because of your emotional pain
cuddlyLove60
February 1st, 2018 12:19pm
find different ways to cope . try drawing on the areas you wanna harm. It helps alot . WHen i was harming I did this and it helped
Vanessagomez18
February 9th, 2018 2:28am
self harm is hard I admit. but if you believe in yourself and you think you can get over self harm alone thats amazing, setting goals to stop and leaving what you use to hurt yourself behind will help. if you can do it alone I suggest you ask for help immediately