Do looks really matter?
It seems so superficial. And maybe I’m beyond exhausted so I’m sensitive. I feel so ugly and unwanted. I really feel like *** about my appearance. I’ve always taken pride in it. My hair had grown so long. It had to be cut off, I know I had no choice. So accepting that is ok but I’m unable to accept how I look now. I miss my long curly hair. I have like no clothes. Everything is big tees and biker shorts. I feel like a slob. I have one pair of sneakers I can wear. I don’t wear makeup like I used to because there’s no point. I feel unattractive and completely undesired and I hate it. I look in the mirror and I see a huge wrinkle between my eyes, a chubby face now, zits/scars and a neck scar. I’m trying to be kind to myself and know that I’m still healing from a major surgery but I feel as if I’m grieving myself entirely. I’ve always focused on nice clothes and accessories. I know that comes from my past and getting made fun of. When I dress nicely, I feel whole. I feel put together. I also don’t have a partner, this is further allowing my mind to feel like I’ll live alone forever. And it breaks my entire heart 💔
@peachThinker662 This just hurts my heart reading this. I don't have to know what you look like physically to know that you are a beautiful person. Your beauty is not the long curly hair you had. Your beauty is not in the clothes or shoes you wear. Your beauty does not come from wearing makeup. Your beauty comes from within. One thing you are right about-- looks are superficial. Looks come and go. I'm sure you heard "beauty is in the eye of the beholder." I definitely believe this as true, because who we find beautiful or good looking can vary between us. If you don't feel attractive when you look at yourself in the mirror, then learn to work on it. You don't have to change who you are on the outside. Just find something about you that you can like. Focus on that and maybe you can learn to love you for, well, just being you. Embrace the beauty within you and accept you as you come. There's nothing wrong with you. I can imagine how not having or being with someone may further lead you to believe certain things about you, but just remember-- your self esteem and how you feel about you should come from you and not be dependent on another. I truly hope one day you get back to a place where you can look in the mirror and just smile and blush by looking at you-- falling deeper in love with the beautiful person I know you are! ♡ Sending hugs your way!
You brought tears to my eyes. Such heart felt words that I’ve never heard in my entire life. 🥹 I truly hope I can feel beautiful one day too. I strive for that. I have on my vision board “sexy is an energy not a body type” Because I struggle that much with my appearance. I have read about self esteem and I know why I don’t have it, but where are the s resources on his to find it? My has been lost for as long as I can remember.
@peachThinker662
@YourCaringConfidant
@peachThinker662
I am sad just reading this.... i have looked in that type mirror before that let me believe the same.
I realize how I see myself and how others see me change by my attitude not my choice of clothes or any mark of scar on me. what is keeping you from doing you hair / makeup or dressing as if you were dressing for partner? The moment you feel good about yourself and not because someone else is there is key.... I know it is easier if you have a person to dress for ... but you do have that ..YOU.
when i did for me not only clothes that looked goo but i felt my best in .... then others notice you.... but being OK with yourself is key.
❤️❤️❤️❤️
@toughTiger6481
I feel like I don’t have a reason to do all those things for my self because I don’t have a social life anymore. If I do, it’s very few and far between. I do feel my better self when I am what I’d consider-presentable.
Because if this I don’t think I have a chance in *** of a guy ever even approaching me. Though even when I did, I wasn’t approached either.
It gives that shame of “what is wrong with me?” And then even further justifies the negativity I’ve been told the majority of my life. It’s just plays on replay.
I’ve been journaling, gratitude list, self affirmations and therapy but I seem to be moving at a turtles pace. I know I’ve changed…some.
@peachThinker662
We all have some sort of replay of things said to us when younger. I was the wallflower type and had sisters who seemed better looking etc. I always made friends with boys not dating material but when i asked "what is wrong with me?"
A good friend told me it had nothing to do with looks... it was instead i was one of the guys and smart and boys knew i would not fall for some dumb line... but my sisters were dumb as rocks and easy to fool... i always took it as a good sign
Absolutely not. I wear ugly clothes because of my autism, I'm awkward sometimes and misspeak, I don't wear makeup or do my hair up, etc.
And guys love me.
I never got the attention of guys for decades.
And now I do.
You know what the difference was?
Confidence.
When I became confident, stopped caring so much what others think...
THAT was the draw. <3
So be confident! Crack jokes, befriend everyone, don't care what others think.
It'll show. <3
That’s another thing, I often feel shy and awkward.
I’m going to try my best.
Love you. ❤️
So do I.
The trick is, not showing it. ;)
Love you more! <3
I don't think looks matter really. Having said that, I've struggled most of my life with some configuration of gender dysphoria and body dysmorphia. The way that I look matters to me. I used to worry what others thought of how I looked, but over the last 5 years I have learned that my opinion of me is more important. So I've done my best to find ways to love the way I look -- not by changing my appearance, but by working on how I think about myself.
I'm not sure what you've been through, but it sounds like you've lost a lot. I would imagine grieving is going to be a part of healing, so you should grieve. That's okay! Just keep in mind that your body, while cute, is the least interesting thing about you!
And for what it's worth, I still have days where I think I look hideous. It's a process, dear. I hope that you learn to love you for you, but I know for me it is still a constant struggle.
I just read a post that was about being strong and Somedays we are tired. So the process, is definitely great wording. I love that you let the true you shine through. So so much courage! You’re amazing!!!
Looks matter to superficial people. Do you really want superficial people to like you?
Good point. No, I don’t. Quality over quantity. ❤️
I don’t know how other’s feel about it but I think they only matter to ourselves. I’ve been lucky and I’ve never struggled with looks or weight but I always find a fault in myself. I don’t have those same feelings about others. I’m a straight female and I have always been incredibly attracted to intelligence, honesty, and humor. I don’t know if this has happened to you but there have been men who I did not find attractive at first and after getting to know them just a little, I found them incredibly attractive. We are truly our worst critics.
I find myself attracted to the same qualities. ❤️ I haven’t had a boyfriend in over 5 years. It’s been great to have that ability to work on my self during those years. Loneliness sets in though. And then I wonder, is it because I’m ugly? Yes, it does seem we are our worst critics.
Beautiful soul...... I just wanted to tell you this: you are deeply beautiful—in ways mirrors can’t show and words can barely touch. The way your heart feels so much? That’s not weakness, that’s rare magic. You're not broken, you're becoming. Loneliness can feel like forever, but it’s just a chapter—not your ending. There are people out there who will see you, hear you, love you just as you are, not in spite of your softness but because of it. Your light is real—even if it flickers sometimes. Don’t stop being you. The world needs exactly your kind of love. 🌻
Wow. These are lighthearted words that truly hit my heart. I love a lot. 🌻 I love sunflowers too ❤️ thank you much sweetheart.
U deserve the world 🌻🌻🌻
Thank you for sharing, I know it’s not easy. I’ve face these questions myself and feel this way too. Growing up I learned that you are your biggest critic. Give yourself a break and focus on what makes you feel comfortable and happy. sending you virtual hugs! You got this! youre stronger than you think!
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Thank you for sharing, I know it’s not easy. I’ve face these questions myself and feel this way too. Growing up I learned that you are your biggest critic. Give yourself a break and focus on what makes you feel comfortable and happy. sending you virtual hugs! You got this! youre stronger than you think!
@peachThinker662 I'm really sorry you're feeling this way 🙁 I want you to know, that you're beautiful, inside and out, just the way you are 🤍 please try to be gentle with yourself ❤️ You're not alone in this, and you truly matter. Sending lots of love to you! 🐾❤️
Thank you for the kind words. I will try to be gentle. ❤️❤️
