Parents shaped us
Parents play a key role in shaping a person’s character. Has this had a positive impact on your mental health and social relationships?
Not really, they went out of their way to do the opposite where possible and the purpose was to make me "acceptable."
I’m glad that you had a positive impact on you , I can tell from the way you spoke about them that they have succeeded in making you acceptable person, and that your appreciation for what they have done for you makes you a grateful person
@Diinnaa Perhaps I explained it badly. What I mean't to say was that my family took great delight in criticising and knocking my self esteem.
Which resulted in difficulties about trusting others, being vulnerable, letting anyone get close and opening up.
@ScrabbleBraini I’m so sorry and I can feel what you have been through you are not alone
@ScrabbleBrain
I'm sorry they couldn't see what I see, someone funny, energetic, kind, caring, a truly beautiful inner spirit who makes my time here better everyday 🥰
@Amanda84 Appreciate it. You're a blessing to me too.
The highlight of my day, seeing your replies 😍
I have similar trauma from my parents :(
@ScrabbleBrain
@Creamyyy
Oh so warm. Ty :) hugs you back <3
@Amanda84
@Creamyyy It's not easy to deal with it and few people really understand it, in a world where parents are revered and can do no wrong.
I hope that you're in a better place now :)
@ScrabbleBrain
You make a great point, we all live completely different lives, and it can be hard to understand , do we need to be conscious of the fact, not all people were meant to be parents 🩷
@Amanda84 I've always hated that saying blood is thicker than water, so untrue for some of us.
The full saying is “the blood of the brotherhood is thicker than the water of the womb”
It gets shortened too often, it takes it out of context.
The people you choose to be close to can be more important to you than anyone you were randomly born to/with 🩵
Im kinda still in a conflict within.
I cant forgive them yet they remain my financial supports.
My father has punched me.
My mother was okay with a hired help molesting me.
Im cracked within - from the pain of it. I cant envision good love all the time. Or have the strength to keep going.
Doesn't their conscience rattle?
Im often manifesting for financial autonomy and a permanent divergence of paths - I wish the universe would work in my favor. And soon.
@ScrabbleBrain
@Creamyyy I can relate to your conflict and I hope that eventually you will get your freedom and peace or at least a way to cope with the nightmare that is your existence.
Some will never see, accept or feel bad about what they put us through, that is on them. Us the innocent can face ourselves in the mirror and try to treat the next person better, than what we endured.
Talk/write out your pain. It eventually stopped me from losing it completely.
Same which is why I have no contact with most of my family
@TovaCares76 yeh im on that road aswell. It aint easy
My mum did. I wouldn't be how I am if it wasn't for her. I was a sick kid and the powers that be wanted me to go to a school for kids with learning disabilities, even though my illness is body related and not in my noggin. Thankfully my mum didn't allow it to happen, I wouldn't be here talking like this otherwise.
@generousPineapple6613 Your mum’s support completely changed your life trajectory , it reminds us how much one person fighting for you can matter 💐
I love my parents a lot. But being in my late 20s i realised that i can never have the level of communication and understanding i want with them. And i am really struggling to have a cordial relation with them. I suffer from chronic depression. And i think i never got their support just because they don’t understand mental health. Also, i have inherited their negative traits without being aware about and now i find it so difficult to unlearn those. So all in all they had a very negative impact on my mental health and social relationships.
@woohoo1234 It makes completely sense that you are struggling , it’s exhausting to stay cordial when you feel totally misunderstood , I wish you can learn the opposite of traits 💐
@Diinnaa
I honestly think too much blame or excuse is placed on parents/ childhood or outside circumstances perhaps we should review our reaction to past events. All parents have successes and failures IMO. It is how we as kids responded.
I grew up in same house same basic treatment from family as siblings, yet they failed to thrive as adults and in comparison, I am fine and do not continue past events in emotional physical or behavioral reactions.
@toughTiger6481 i agree with you , there’s a lot of truth to that , at some point we have to stop looking backward and take responsibility for our own reactions and choices if we want to move forward .
Well, I have ptsd, I'm essentially afraid of letting others know how i feel and feel horrible when I'm reasonably upset with situations. I don't trust people will be able to hold my vulnerability.
@faithfulBunny4716 I want to reassure you that you don’t have to carry all of that alone , and I’m absolutely sure there’re many listeners here capable of holding space for whatever you feel ready to share with us , we can handle your vulnerability with the highest level of care .
I appreciate you're kindness. I did talk to a couple of people about it. It takes time :)
It’s okay , there’s no need to rush <3
NO. Hard no. They care more abt obedience and easiness than a real connection and showing humanity
@berrycheesecake90 You’re so right, real care requires seeing your humanity , not just wanting from you to be easy and obedient , I feel your pain and you’re not alone don’t hesitate to vent out .
Tysm 💖
Only negative I guess xD
@Nouga Sorry for that , please feel free to speak to me in private message if you want .
My blood family. No. My aunt was more of a mother than my real mother. But my in laws. They are my family. They accepted me for who I was. They love me and I love them. My blood family only shares a last name with me.
@straightforwardLime4078 I’m glad that your aunt and in laws have made it up for what you didn’t find in your blood family , you’re acceptable person .
@Diinnaa You are right parents do play an important role on person's character, but their impact on me wasn't positive whether it's mental health or social relationship. However, their struggle did make me a better person, and I am grateful for it.
@yoursmileisasradientastheSun You’re a fair-minded person with a strong sense of awareness , which enables you to assess feelings impartially
Wow @Diinnaa! Thank you for objective response. I really appreciate it. And yes you are right, most of the time I look at two sides of the coin.
@yoursmileisasradientastheSun You’re more than welcome , and that’s what sets you apart as a realist . 💐
@Diinnaa
People always say that Growing up in a household where parents fought always result in a negative manner but for me it has been completely opposite ofcourse it was traumatic but atleast it taught you what not to do and how to respect and love your partner.
@bubblegumIceCream8927 I completely agree with you , you’re right , it’s like a roadmap they’ve been drawn up for us to ensure we don’t repeat the same mistakes , I commend your deep insight .
Yep Absolutely, though it was involuntary haha but it is what it is(subtle shrug). And Thank you, have a great day ahead 💐 ✨.