Learning Through Making Mistakes
Hi, all! I know many of us in our caring community can be pretty hard on ourselves when it comes to mistakes, and the fear of making them, and struggle with self-forgiveness, so I wanted to write this for you.
It's natural to feel down on yourself when things don't go as planned. When we make a mistake, our first reaction is often to overthink it or feel like we failed. But if we take a step back, we can see that mistakes are just a normal part of how we learn and grow.
At 7 Cups, we believe in a growth mindset. This means we understand that nobody starts out knowing everything, and wisdom is something we build over time. Here's how mistakes help us:
They show us what to fix! When everything goes perfectly, we don't really learn anything new. A mistake gives us clear, helpful feedback about what isn't working so we can try a different approach next time.
They make us stronger! Working through a setback helps us build confidence. Each time you figure out how to fix a problem, you learn that you are capable of handling tough situations. (The Problem is the Path)
They bring us closer! No one is perfect, and trying to act like we are can feel lonely. Being honest about our struggles helps us connect with others on a much deeper, more genuine level.
The goal isn't to live a life without errors. What matters most is what we choose to do after we make one. Taking responsibility changes everything. When we own up to a mistake, say sorry if it's needed, and focus on fixing the issue, we turn a bad moment into a chance to show our true character. Taking ownership shifts our focus away from guilt and moves us toward finding a solution.
A mistake is just a lesson for next time, not a reflection of who you are as a person.
Please answer 1, 2, or both of these!
1. What is a mistake you made in the past that ended up teaching you a really valuable lesson?
2. If there is a mistake you've made that you still feel bad about, this is your chance to forgive yourself and release it. Start with, "I forgive myself for..." and list the mistake. Permit yourself to let go. ❤️🩹 You have our support!
@Heather225
This is an important topic, thank you for starting it, H!
@Heather225
When I was young, I could be quite nosy and looked through other people's belongings. A few times, I found information which.... hurt my feelings. Since then, I realized that IGNORANCE IS BLISS
1. What is a mistake you made in the past that ended up teaching you a really valuable lesson?
@Heather225
First of all thanks for writing this it means a lot for me and I know for many others!
1. What is a mistake you made in the past that ended up teaching you a really valuable lesson?
Well a mistake in the past was to try to fix all people like my parents who are toxic. We cannot fix everyone and surely we cannot fix people who dont want to be fixed. Unfortunately I had to learn the hard way that I cannot help every single person but I m still doing my best.
2. If there is a mistake you've made that you still feel bad about, this is your chance to forgive yourself and release it. Start with, "I forgive myself for..." and list the mistake. Permit yourself to let go. ❤️🩹 You have our support!
I forgive myself for saying some harsh things to my brother. Its okay now.
@cheerfulKiwi1776
I like how you opened up. Thank you for sharing.
@FaithMonk9473
THanks for reading and taking the time to comment. It means a lot✨️💜
@Heather225
What is a mistake you made in the past that ended up teaching you a really valuable lesson?
this might sound odd but for me it was trusting a family member in end i learned not to trust family members due to them being abusive so that was big lesson i feel i should have learned sooner
in our family one was not to make mistakes and was punished for them more so if they made dad look bad in his mind
2.
If there is a mistake you've made that you still feel bad about, this
is your chance to forgive yourself and release it.
the big one is not getting help when my kids were young before i lost parental rights that was out of fear i now know too yes due to upbringing i made many errors in parenting due to what i did not know was abuse i am still having a very hard time forgiving my self for that due to i know it hurt my kids lead to me losing my kids too
@Heather225
Amen to all of this!
I particularly like the point about building confidence. That is one I don't always think about. I think it's not true across the board for me - there are certain mistakes that I still shudder to think about. I suppose there are better ways to deal with how those things undermine my self-confidence. I do think this is an incredibly valuable way to think and to cultivate in ourselves.
1. What is a mistake you made in the past that ended up teaching you a really valuable lesson?
I think that sometimes the things that feel bad are the things we most need to learn from.
One time I was in LSR (Listener Support Room) and someone pulled me aside to tell me how my attitude was coming across to them, and they weren't very kind about it. My initial emotional reaction was to feel defensive, but I knew I needed to just listen to what they were saying. I didn't like it, but they had a very good point. Yes, it helped me check myself internally and externally (definitely important!!!), but I also was reminded of how important accepting negative emotions was in listening and learning. The way they told me wasn't necessarily the best at first, and that didn't help me. I'm still glad this person pulled me aside though, even if it wasn't fun. I meant it when I thanked them for doing that.
2. If there is a mistake you've made that you still feel bad about, this is your chance to forgive yourself and release it. Start with, "I forgive myself for..." and list the mistake. Permit yourself to let go. ❤️🩹 You have our support!
One time I was being being completely unaware and insensitive in making a comment about parenting style with a couple of parents and their kid! I have no business having any opinion or judgment to begin with, and I certainly should not have been so socially unaware that I would blurt out such a thing in a way that might hurt or offend. That's not the way to think, and it's not the way to talk about anything like that. I'm definitely not proud of either of those things. So... I forgive myself... for not being perfect.
@Heather225
I forgive myself for running after the people and not realizing my own self worth, which I had to learn in a very hard way, then for seeking the love into others which I now happen to realize that it was there within me, and due to all of this chaos, for neglecting myself and my career, People often say that forgiving others are hard but in my opinion, I feel you can forgive anyone for anything with due time but forgiving your ownself is quite hard and almost takes a very long process which no one ever teaches you, how to stay compassion and kind to your ownself is I feel very challenging to learn, but I haven't given up, still trying :)
Thank you for taking out your valuable time and reading my thread. It genuinely means a lot :)
Long time ago, as a teenager, I was harsh on my mother... It was usually related to her behavior. Now that I'm in my 40s I see myself behaving like she did before. I forgive myself, and she, I guess, has forgiven me too... Its been many many years we live thousands and thousands of miles away. Our relationship has never been better. I think physical distance helped us, although we talk every single day. Sometimes, for hours. Life has its own time...
@Heather225 💐💐Gratitude flowers -Thank you Heather! This is needed!
That matches or a candle held to a sheer curtain will send them up in flames .. ( noone was injured , house was fine ) where did I even learn to light a match ?
There are too many and I cant do this one yet but in time..
@Heather225
1. What is a mistake you made in the past that ended up teaching you a really valuable lesson? It is very important to make sure to read each individual profile pic especially if you aren’t too familiar with them. There might be their triggers listed there. Some will not tell you their triggers up front until you say something that unexpectedly makes them feel challenged.
2. If there is a mistake you've made that you still feel bad about, this is your chance to forgive yourself and release it. Start with, "I forgive myself for..." and list the mistake. Permit yourself to let go. ❤️🩹 You have our support!
I forgive myself for needing to explain intent and motivation - it doesn’t dampen down any painful memories they had in childhood.
