Weekly Prompt #23: Imagine encountering someone who is visibly upset or distressed. How can you offer support and comfort to them in a meaningful way?
Hello all!
A couple of weeks ago we discussed- What quality you see in others that you'd like to inherit. If you haven't checked yet, please click here to add your thoughts.
This week's prompt is: Imagine encountering someone who is visibly upset or distressed. How can you offer support and comfort to them in a meaningful way?
Today I want us to reflect upon how we can practice compassion and support. So if you are in a situation like the above, what steps will you take to show your compassion and support the person in distress. Please share and discuss here among us.
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Weekly Prompt #23: Imagine encountering someone who is visibly upset or distressed. How can you offer support and comfort to them in a meaningful way?
I would offer a hot drink. . . coffee, tea, hot chocolate, and then we talk about anything. I would try to make them laugh. Maybe even watch TV or movie. I would let them simple relax and then I would have then vent about everything and anything. I have learned that venting helps even just a bit. Then if they want to we sit down figure out the problem and solutions. If they believe in it, I would give them a Tarot reading and see what direction they need to look at. I have friends who used to come to me for a reading or two.
I have considered going back to school to be a counselor, but I am on a spiritual path.
@Rebekahwriter13 That's so sweet Rebekah. You have a caring heart and wish to comfort those who are struggling. Offering a listening ear and space to vent feelings can be very meaningful support.
@Rebekahwriter13
I like your answer. This is I think how I wish people could have comforted me growing up. Instead I was usually ignored or demeaned or just given the briefest moment of comfort before going back to being ignored or abused.
@ASilentObserver giving someone room to talk or not talk. I find it helpful to ask if they need someone to be with them, even just sitting in the same room to feel less alone. Sometimes my friends and I will just quietly study in a room together because we need to not feel alone. And giving someone room to share how they feel but not pressuring them to tell you everything can also be very helpful. I'm trying to get in the habit of asking people if they want someone to listen and acknowledge their feelings or they want someone to try and work through a solution with them. It can be easy to try and solve their problems but sometimes someone just wants you to acknowledge that what they're going through is hard.
@celerysticker Thank you for sharing your perspective, sticker. It sounds like you have found helpful ways to be present for friends in need, whether through quiet companionship or opening up space to share feelings. What aspects of acknowledging another's experience without trying to problem-solve have you found most meaningful in your own times of difficulty?
@ASilentObserver Haha, yes, I certainly try to find ways to be helpful and present for friends in need. I've found that other people listening and validating what I feel (like saying that they would be upset too or that what I'm dealing with is stressful) is most meaningful to me. Most times I just want someone to listen to me and acknowledge what I'm dealing with or going through instead of actually try to problem solve.
@celerysticker Thank you for sharing how you prefer to be supported. we are all here with you to support and listen to you celery
@ASilentObserver
Funny you ask that! I was watching an advertisement for a crisis line and they were advertising reaching out and talking! It shows this guy on a train platform who is visibly stressed out and was wondering around quiet alot on the platform. (They were in a crisis) And then it goes on to show another person standing by that person and suddenly says 'its quiet sunny today' . And that's when they start a conversation.
it only takes a few words to distract someone from their thoughts.. just like going up to them and talking about the weather is a good way of connecting especially with people we don't know.
Sometimes asking someone straight up 'are you okay' can be daunting for another person. And they might just say 'im fine' . But starting with something as small as the weather or about the time can help us connect better and start a chat. And of course, build trust with that person and being gentle can help them to be more open and talk to you about their emotions.
Bunny.
@amiableBunny4016 Thank you for sharing about that impactful advertisement, bunny. It can indeed be daunting to directly ask someone if they are okay. Starting a conversation in a gentle, non-intrusive way about something neutral like the weather is thoughtful. How did watching that make you feel about the importance of connection in difficult times?
@ASilentObserver
Most of the time hug and listen to why they are upset, however, I try not to make them engage in biases.
@Simplelife432 I appreciate and value that supporting others when they're feeling upset is important to you. Your care and willingness to understand different perspectives likely helps them feel heard.
@ASilentObserver
Yea people want to be heard more than anything.
@Simplelife432 That's insightful of you to recognize people want to feel heard. Just being present with empathy can be very comforting.
@ASilentObserver be non judgemental, the last thing someone needs whose struggling is for their their feelings or what they share to be criticized
@tealLion9329 You are absolutely right that being non-judgemental is so important when someone is struggling and opening up. Feeling heard and accepted can help ease emotional burdens.
@ASilentObserver
In my research simplicity and a smile are powerful things, and the quote 'time and patience are the greatest warriors' comes to mind. A blend of these four into present action may be helpful to someone in visible distress.
Smiling at them, asking them how they are, being compassionate could work.
Overcoming ones own burdens in life, being full up so it spills over onto others naturally is important. But also very challenging if one is an adult, dealing with the ever-increasing pressure of life, especially when there's major traumas around health, wealth and happiness.
Anyway. Chocolate.
@communicativePond1728 Thank you for sharing your thoughtful reflections. overcoming challenges to be present and caring for others seems important to you.
@ASilentObserver I will let them know that they can talk to me about what's on their mind and openly listen to them and validate their experience
I once had a colleague that I saw was struggling with anxiety, high expectations of self, and self-blame for work. We took the educational program together, so we were classmates too. Then, got hired into the same Hospital and I saw her struggling. She'd either breakdown at work or she throws up at home. She ended up developing depression from working for only 6 months and needed medication.
I offered to lend an ear and shared with her my experiences with depression. Checked in on her on a weekly basis, when she was off on a Stress Leave for like 9 months. Now, she's left the Healthcare field altogether and found a full-time job in something that doesn't give her stress and anxiety. I still message her once in a while to see how she's doing. But knowing that she no longer needs the anti-depressants, I'm happy for her. I continued to offer support and to lend an ear whenever she feels she needs someone. To let her know, I'll always be around if she needs me.
The best way to offer support to somebody is to empathize and try to understand the time they’re going through, especially if it is what you’ve been through before. It always helps them not feel alone in the situation.
I am in great discomfort , hurt and horribly depressed i cry everyday i wanna comfort myself but i cant i feel like a loser. I dont know how to support myself