🌸 Your Input Matters 🌸
As listeners, we truly want to support you in ways that feel meaningful, comfortable, and genuinely helpful not just by being present, but by asking questions that help you feel understood and safe to open up. We know that sometimes the usual questions don’t always reach what’s really going on underneath, and it can be hard to put things into words without a little guidance.
Everyone is different, and what helps one person open up might not work for someone else. That’s why your perspective matters so much. Hearing directly from you helps us learn how to better support you not just in general, but in ways that actually feel right for you.
✨ So I’d really love to hear from you:
- What’s something you wish listeners asked you more often?
- Are there questions that help you open up more?
- What makes a question feel supportive vs. unhelpful?
- What makes a good listener?
Your voice can help shape how we show up for you and others 💛
Share as much or as little as you’re comfortable with this is a safe space 🤎
@LexListens2025
@ShadowFaerie @unassumingEyes @Sunisshiningandsoareyou @sadcat13 @Amanda84 @goldenduckling @mytwistedsoul @Tinywhisper11 @LovemyMoonflowers @GreenLime3141 @7Bear7 @Phoenixthepoised @Torean @GentleHealingInitiative @cyanessence @YourCaringConfidant @CaringEzra @NobleSeeker @fossilfellow @BastionKnight @trueconfidant123 @safeplace288 @lovingCat6978 @reservedOwl321 @dapperNest2125 @Creamyyy @naturesbeauty1234 @bubbleSummer9800 @peachThinker662 @warmheartedHuman836 @Mansbestfriend @Paliloveyourself @Magicpawsoffuture @SelfCareMatters @TovaCares76 @sabeyesofblue3535 @Ailuraphilelove8tear9 @charmingApple8098 @luvArisu @BlueDarkAurora @RunningMachine @daydreammemories @curiousbookishness @sympatheticPlace3743 @musawva @KindleMissie @WellsFiction @Angelanj @SlappyMcGee @jesusredeemedme2425 @Heather225
@LexListens2025 Do you need a hug...
@quietBeach886 🫂🫂🫶
@LexListens2025
Thank you for this thread. Eager to hear what insights our members have to share.
@ShadowFaerie
me too, this is a great idea!
@LexListens2025
I set this as an alert to members. you are the embodiment of holding space, Lex, and I really appreciate your efforts <3
@Heather225
I appreciate you always acknowledging me and my efforts. It truly means a lot to me. 💜
this is a tough question, especially because my experience shows me that listeners only listen and talk properly to those they connect personally and judge worthy of their help based on their personal opinion, and since your training does not filter very well who becomes a listeners, these people use this whichever way they like, and members like me don't have a say in anything, therefore my request would be just ignored and invalidated
@etherealIntent
That really doesn’t sound like an easy experience to sit with. It makes sense that you’d feel frustrated and overlooked if it feels like support depends on whether someone personally “clicks” with you. When you’re reaching out, you deserve to feel heard and taken seriously without having to earn it or prove you’re “worthy” of someone’s help.
I also hear how powerless it can feel, like your voice doesn’t carry much weight in the process. That kind of dynamic can leave anyone feeling invalidated, especially when you’re already coming in needing support. You’re not wrong for wanting consistency, fairness, and to be met with care no matter who you’re paired with.
If it helps at all, not every listener will be the right fit but that doesn’t mean you are the issue. Sometimes it takes a few tries to find someone who really listens in the way you need, and you absolutely deserve that kind of space. Your experiences and feelings matter, even if they haven’t always been met that way.
I’m really glad you shared this it takes a lot to be honest about feeling dismissed. If you ever want someone to just sit with you and really listen, my PMs are always open 💓
Generally, at least with the people ive connected with so far, no offence to them really, this could just be my own issue, they either are not enthusiastic at all about the conversation, or just straight up leave it just because. (This didnt happen with every one of the listeners ive chatted with, but it did with a few).
And a thing i think people could do more, though, again, this is just a me thing it could not be something that others want, theyre a bit too passive. Like, i dont really open up to people or say things unless they tell me to do that. So just tell me to "just say ...", yk?
@courageousPineapple6784
Thank you for sharing this it really does make sense. It can feel discouraging when conversations lack energy or when someone leaves suddenly, even if it’s not personal. That inconsistency can make it harder to feel safe opening up.
I also really hear you on the passiveness. Some people need more guidance to feel comfortable sharing, and there’s nothing wrong with that. Wanting someone to ask direct questions or gently say “you can tell me…” is a completely valid need.
I appreciate how thoughtful you’re being about it too. You deserve conversations where you’re supported and don’t have to carry everything yourself. If you’re able, letting a listener know you open up better with more direction could really help the right person meet you where you are. I’m always a message away. 💜
I'm happy that someone is willing to listen! No problems opening up here, when I have someone's ear, I will get as much out as I can!
When they start the chat with a question, I feel like they're trying to "guide" the conversation, which I don't want. I want to talk about what I want to talk about at that moment, not what they ask me. Even if they ask how something went that we mentioned last time, if I don't want to talk about it, I prefer they don't ask. If I do, great, I'll answer. So I guess after one or two times chatting, I hope they notice that I have plenty to say, so wouldn't want them to start the session with a question. Other than - what's on your mind today?
In the middle of the conversation, the questions should flow normally, like a friend would ask, if there's clarification or "what's that?" so it's hard to give examples of "good" questions without context. The best questions relate to the context but don't press in places I don't want to go. Letting me steer the conversation works best for me.
When I'm slowing down, taking a pause from typing so much/so fast, I prefer to read statements than questions, since questions may ask me for "more" when I'm done with a topic. But if they notice I still want to talk more about the topic and haven't dropped something, questions are welcome. If I have talked for a long time about one specific thing, a question probably makes sense, since it's a sign that I'm struggling or avoiding something.
I definitely don't want questions at the end when I'm wrapping up, other than "same time/day next week?"
Knowing when to ask a question seems to be an art rather than a science, being in tune with the conversation!
Thanks for asking! :)
@onwardforevenmore
This is really thoughtful feedback you explained your needs so clearly, and it honestly gives such a good picture of what feels supportive for you. It makes sense that you’d want the space to lead, especially when you already know you have a lot you want to say. Being asked too many questions especially at the start or when you’re winding down can feel more like being directed than being heard.
I also really like how you described the flow of questions. The idea that they should come naturally, based on what you’re already sharing, rather than steering you somewhere you didn’t choose that’s such an important distinction. And the part about preferring statements when you’re slowing down makes a lot of sense too; it gives you space instead of asking more from you when you’re already finished.
You’re absolutely right knowing when to ask questions really is more of an art. It’s about being present and in tune, not following a script. And what you’re describing isn’t “too specific” or unreasonable it’s just what helps you feel most comfortable and in control of your own space.
This kind of insight is honestly really valuable for listeners to hear.
I will certainly take this into account with my listening. 💜
@LexListens2025
I wish I was told im doing great and aren't failing in life
You are! <3
failing in life. As @LexListens2025 said to me, "You're trying and not failing." And that has stick to me. That we can move in life in our own space. Baby steps and no rush. That were just learning how hard it is right now, but this feeling is temporary. It's not our forever. And you're never failing, and you were always great! Thus, you are fearfully and wonderfully made.
@amicableSugar3930
i promise you aren’t failing. You are doing the best you can and that’s more than enough. I’m incredibly proud of you. 💜
i just dont care enymore as long as someone is not hurting me or just invading my worst memories if i dont want to share them its fine because it will never be great enytime soon
How is life treating you?
@LexListens2025
Asking "do you want to share more about that?" And not pressuring to share when we aren't ready.
And learning more about the topics we discuss/you say you are comfortable discussing, so we don't have to spend most of the conversation explaining everything, even the basics. I understand sometimes it's a mismatch between listeners, but hardly anyone knows about most of the topics I share about (trauma and dissociation).
