Stories of Support: When Someone Stood Up for Me

@SoulfullyAButterfly

Thank you for the prompt and this safe space.

1) Was there a time when someone stood up for you or supported you during a difficult moment?

Yes.

2) How did their support make you feel?

I was being bullied by my teacher's daughter and her friends. They pulled my ponytail and mocked me for wearing a bright yellow coloured top. My mom had convinced me into wearing it because although it was my favourite top, I wouldn't wear it often for how lively it looked. My teacher walked in on this and yelled at all of them. She told them that I did not deserve how they treated me and that the bullying only proves how worthless all of them are. That day I felt heard and powerful. From then on, I knew I wasn't alone and suffering. I learned to take a stand for myself and those people would change their paths whenever they saw me hence.

3) What did you appreciate most about how they helped?

I appreciate her for standing for the right and not support the wrongdoings of her own children.

1) Was there a time when someone stood up for you or supported you during a difficult moment?

Yes. I was a middle school girl and I had an "accident". I was wearing my khaki uniform bottoms so you could definitely see it. Even though it's natural, kids are childish. I was teased by other girls who noticed. My teacher spoke with me and was so nice. She even walked me to the office and made sure I got a change of pants. The office even gave me black pants to wear home. Because of this and times I've had to cover myself by wrapping a sweater over my waist to hide "accidents", I learned from it. We taught our own daughter to make sure she always has change of clothes in her locker and is stocked up with feminine hygiene products in her backpack and in her locker. It's nothing ever to be ashamed of, but kids are kids. It's crazy how the teasing came from girls who had the same thing monthly. 🤔🫢🤨

2) How did their support make you feel?

I will always remember that teacher's kindness. 

3) What did you appreciate most about how they helped?

I appreciate how she assured me and comforted me. Walking me to the office to make sure I was taken care if was her going above and beyond. She was a sweet lady for sure. 

@SoulfullyAButterfly

1) Was there a time when someone stood up for you or supported you during a difficult moment?

Yes. There was a time when I felt overwhelmed with school and personal responsibilities, and a close friend noticed before I even said anything. They reached out, checked on me, and stayed by my side when I really needed grounding and reassurance.

2) How did their support make you feel?

Their support made me feel seen, valued, and less alone, almost like someone was sharing the weight I had been carrying by myself.

3) What did you appreciate most about how they helped?

I appreciated that they didn’t try to fix everything or judge me, they just listened and that goes a long way. 

@SoulfullyAButterfly

1) Was there a time when someone stood up for you or supported you during a difficult moment?

Yes. When I was a junior in high school, I made the mistake of dating and breaking up with a few people who were friends. They decided, along with others they recruited, that they'd make things ugly for me. No other info due to possibly triggering, but it was incredibly difficult. I saw them every day after my math class. One day I just didn't want to leave. My teacher asked me what was wrong, and I told him everything. I said he would walk me to my next class every day if I needed him to. He was very upset about how the administration was treating me, and was instrumental in me finally getting some justice. 

2) How did their support make you feel?

I'm tearing up right now thinking about it. No one took me seriously. No one. No one even took my friends seriously. I think I was at my breaking point when I didn't want to get up and leave my class. 

3) What did you appreciate most about how they helped?

Someone believed me. Someone believed my friends. Someone noticed me behaving out of the ordinary and was urgent about it. Someone used their position to stand up for me. It led to people taking me more seriously, and I will never forget it. 

1) Was there a time when someone stood up for you or supported you during a difficult moment?

When I was in high school, I was one of the first girls on the track team, but I didn’t much like my coach. He was arrogant and was allegedly having an affair with one of my classmates. I didn’t like or respect the coach. I thought he was crass and vulgar. Anyway, I was a distance runner and I had my two buddies who were also the other two first girls to join cross country running the previous season. Cross country was fall, and track and field was spring. The three of us were tight, good friends. We ran together outside in all sorts of weather.

On the track team, one day when it was raining, this coach insisted that we run stairs inside the building. You can only imagine. It was steamy with sweat from one hundred stinky (mostly guys) in the stairwell. I said to the coach that I and the other two friends would take a run outside. The coach said no we couldn’t because it was raining. I was the hope for the team that year because I had a fast time in the 800 meters, one-mile and two-mile. So, I took a chance, and I stood up to him and said, no, if you try to make me do your drill, then I quit. I did try explaining how on the cross-country team, we would run outside in all sorts of weather. The coach still tried to bully me into doing his stair drill. So, I quit.

Who stood up for me was my dad. I told him I quit the track team and I told him why. He didn’t question my account. He just asked, so what’s next. I said, I want to run a marathon. He said ok, do that. I found a buddy to train with and I completed my first marathon. My dad ran parallel to me, though he did a race that was one fourth as long. I came in second for women in the race. My dad came in first in his age group for his length race. I will always remember how my dad didn’t question me, he just asked what’s next. He supported me by giving me freedom. And I accomplished something that made me very happy and proud.

2) How did their support make you feel? My dad’s support made me feel good, like I was a woman who could make decisions and that my dad would support me even when he knew how much excelling in track and field meant for me. He taught me that the world is a big place and we can set big goals. And, that people in authority can sometimes be obstacles, but there is always a way to accomplish something.

3) What did you appreciate most about how they helped?What I appreciated most was that there was no questioning of my decision, just a simple acceptance of me as a person and the question, what’s next? And, the fact that my dad ran a race too, that was cute to me.

1. When I lost my father, my two friends who I met in school were the first people to come and visit once family had had their turn. We went out during the day one day too, not long after he passed.

2. Human again, to be honest. Grateful that I'd let them into my life. It made me realize I could feel happiness and enjoy the little things in life even in the darkest moments.

3. I never asked - they just did it.

@SoulfullyAButterfly

1. No. In all the years I’ve existed, no one ever stood up for me, stood at my side, supported me during any complicated or difficult or negative time. Do I wish they would have? Yes absolutely but that’s not what happened so I always stood by my own side bc I was forced to as I had no other choice. 

2. I’d have loved it and appreciated those who supported me. 

3. Mostly I would appreciate that they took the initiative and dedicated some of their time to help and support me and if they were in a similar situation I would have done the same for them. Oh wait. I’ve already been doing that for so many years now anyway bc that’s just who I am. 

@SoulfullyAButterfly

When I went through the worst time in my life , that nearly broke me, a friend was there, and just listened, was always at the end of a phone, and never judged, I never forgot that 💖

@SoulfullyAButterfly

1) Was there a time when someone stood up for you or supported you during a difficult moment?
In 7 cups one day @CommunitymodChristine told me, "This wasn't right of her to bully you this way" when I shared this neighbor would come inside my home and bully me.

2) How did their support make you feel?
After hurting so much all alone about this, people telling me to ignore when I sought help many times, being alone and isolated, I felt so grateful at least one person stood by me. Just that one sentence made me feel like God has mercy on me.

3) What did you appreciate most about how they helped?

Just that they didn't tell me to seek support elsewhere, didn't tell me to seek help even though that's what I was doing. That they gave me the patience and understanding, it meant a lot. And that they stood by me even though the situation felt helpless and difficult. They didn't try to control it or change it in any way. But doing this ended up it being more helpful and impactful.

Was there a time when someone stood up for you or supported you during a difficult moment?

I had to go into a foster home when I was 15 because I skipped school a lot. I skipped school a lot because of my home environment. My mother was an alcoholic and when she drank, she got mean and yelled all night, many times we couldn't sleep because of it. I was too tired to go to school. I also was bullied in school and it brought me great fear so I didn't want to go. So, when I was sent to a foster home, my caseworker listened to the reason why I didn't go to school and believed me. Most people just thought I was a rebellious kid, but she saw through that and realized that my home environment was not good. She stood up for me and was always kind. She was a beautiful person. I also had another caseworker that took over for her, and he was very kind too. 

How did their support make you feel?

They made me feel like I was worth something and that my feelings were valid. 

What did you appreciate most about how they helped? 

They truly listened and cared about me. They helped me grow my self confidence.