Weekly Prompt #4: How has dealing with grief changed you as a person?
Hello, everyone, I hope you are all taking it easy. Today I want us to think and discuss grief and its impact on us.
Whether you are a healthcare worker, a veteran, a teen, a student, or an introvert, everyone may have some experiences with grief. We are all dealing it with in one or another way.
How has dealing with grief changed you as a person?
Share your grief experiences with us. We are here with you to listen and support you.
Suggested thread to check
- If you are a healthcare worker, introduce yourself here
- If you are a Veteran, please introduce yourself here with us <3
Join the General Support Group Chat to share and discuss more!
@ASilentObserver Dealing with grief really changes you at your core. It can be difficult to heal from losing a loved one because it changes your whole life. A piece of you has been taken, but the pain is proof that you experienced love and they will never really leave you. You will always have the memories and they are always in our hearts. It's important to know that everyone goes through grief so we are never really alone in our healing.❤️
@fruityPond7887 absolutely Pond, great points and insights. thank you for sharing <3
@ASilentObserver
A traumatic experience with the death/murder of a loved one is what gave me PTSD. It changed me completely. It erased me.
I am not dealing with it directly, except that I have the ashes of my loved ones. I want to be cremated and buried with them eventually.
All I can do is work on improving my mental health every day. It's a constant battle but it does work. I am better than I used to be, but I will probably be working on improving my mental health for the rest of my life.
Thanks for asking this question.
@purpleTree4652 I can feel the deep pain this loss has brought you. The trauma of such an experience is profound and life-changing. Though the pain may never fully leave you, I know your strength and resilience. You are not alone in this. How have you been able to find moments of joy, however small, each day?
@ASilentObserver
Hi, ASO,
Before I adopted my cat, about 2.5 years ago, I almost never did find moments of joy in each day. But, now that we are settling into my new apartment I am taking the time to play with her. she is so playful and cute that it gives me moments of joy. I am also returning to meditating, and watching the clouds go by while I meditate. I have a great view of the sky from my living room. I see God in the clouds and the experience opens up my soul to prayer and positivity and the earth and an openness of my thoughts and thankfulness and joy and reflection. But then my thoughts are back to dark. I don't even want to describe my thoughts in the abyss. It's horrendous. Thank you for asking.
@ASilentObserver hi I'm Lola ❤ my son would of been 12 years old this year. He's a angel now in heaven. My carers put a little cross under the willow tree in the garden for him. I wish he was here
@Tinywhisper11 Lola, I am so deeply sorry for your loss. Your son was so special and loved.
@ASilentObserver
Dealing with my Mom's passing ( she died May of 2004 ) has been really hard for me to deal with. I have always been close to her but in times of needing her now it is hard to accept that my BFF passed.
@pamharley003
I lost my parents 4 months apart and they were my best friends. It wasn't an easy road either. They both had both of their legs amputated above the knees (peripheral arterial disease). I witnessed so much suffering and pain and saw things that still haunt me to this day. I miss them so bad it makes me sick. I miss them every single day still and still have nightmares and it's been 6 years now. I just can't seem to get past the grief and move on. I still need them in my life so bad. I feel lost without them. Some people think I'm weird because I have grieved the loss of them so intensely. I don't know how to explain it but I was just so close to them and loved them so much. We talked every single day on the phone and I visited almost every weekend. I don't know how to live life without them.
I lost my father recently and totally have taken half of my heart away. And i can't image if my mother is no longer with me cos i am talking to the phone with her everyday, then my heart would be empty. And i think life becomes useless
@worryBear Your father and mother have been such an important part of your heart and life. Though life may seem empty now, I know the love you shared will always remain.
@Stormchaser79 I can feel the deep love and bond you shared with your parents. It's clear they were the most important people in your life and losing them has left a void that can never be filled.
@pamharley003 I can feel the deep pain and loss in your words. Your mother was clearly an important person in your life and I'm so sorry for your heartache.
Something really traumatic happened a year and a half ago, and I feel like I've never recovered from it. I used to love life and everyone knew me as a happy girl full of positive energy. Over a year and a half I've pushed myself to fill my days with work so that I have a reason to get up and do something. At first, it helped me not to think about what happened but it's clear that it completely drained me.
I now see my past as "before it happened" and "after it happened", because I feel like I'm a completely different person. I'm trying to find myself again, do things that I used to love and feel joy, but it's really hard.
@CherryBerry8108
Hi, Berry,
I'm so sorry that you were put through what you went through. I understand in that I went through a traumatic experience and it erased me. The woman I was is gone. I have been building a new woman ever since. For the longest time I liked pictures/paintings of women where their face was turned away from the camera/viewer because I couldn't identify her, and can't identify myself. I hope I recover from this, but don't think I ever will. I hope things go better for you.
@purpleTree4652
Hi, Tree.
If it's of any comfort, I feel the same and you're not alone in this. Although it's incredibly hard, this opportunity to build a whole new person can be a wonderful thing. You get to grow into a strong person who fought to become who she is, and you'll have so much love and respect for her. We both will.
It's hard but just know that you're not alone. The pain won't disappear, but time and growth will make it hurt a little less. Sending a lot of love and strength to you.
@purpleTree4652
@bestvase7265
Hi, I hope you're feeling well.
I have a questions. I have started applying for scholarships and see that many of them ask for reference letters. How do they expect people to get so many reference letters; several for school application, then a couple for one scholarship, then a few more for another scholarship, and several more and on and on?
Real answer: professors are asked to write a boatload of recommendations that few people actually read. If you need another one or two from me, don't hesitate to ask.@purpleTree4652
@bestVase7265
Ok, thank you, Vase. I will probably take you up on that for scholarship applications.
@CherryBerry8108
Please don't let the trauma and/or instigator of the trauma win.
Cherry, I know how it comes to the point that you don't even want to get out of bed. That isn't a life worth living. I also know that, however painful and embarrassing, talking it out helps and heals. It may' and probably will, take time, but there are professional therapists out there and volunteers on here that will listen, help, and walk that hard road with you. May God give you the grace to overcome and forgive. May He heal your broken spirit. You matter and you are important. Please let no one ever tell you otherwise.
@Jing2010
Thank you so much for such kind words, Jing. I've been to therapy and I continue to work on myself. It's a hard journey, but it's the one I have to take.
Your support means a lot! I wish you all the best and, once again, thank you. 💛🌻
@CherryBerry8108 I can hear how deeply this experience has impacted you. It's clear you have been through an immense trauma. How have you been expressing your emotions during this difficult time?
@ASilentObserver I've gone through months of therapy which helped me push through the hardest period. Now I'm taking day by day, trying to get into things I used to enjoy. It's clear to me that I'm a whole new person now, and I'm trying to get to know this version of myself.
@CherryBerry8108 It sounds like you've come a long way through this difficult period. Discovering who we are after such personal growth and change can indeed take time.
Dealing with grief I think has made me more understanding of other's grief. It's made me more appreciative and grateful of the things that I have in my life.
On the flipside, it has also made me very fearful and anxious of losing the people, places, and things that are important to me, because I've experienced so much traumatic loss.
It is hard for me to take chats on grief because I know that in a moment of grief the feelings are just unbearable and there's often nothing "good" someone can say or do. The thing that helped me most through my grief though was kindness and compassion and being given the space to feel whatever emotion I needed to feel, it was helpful to have people that didn't invalidate or shame my grief experience. All I can do when helping someone dealing with grief is to provide a kind and compassionate space where they can just feel what they feel.
@InvaderStitch I can understand how deeply painful loss and grief can be, and how that pain can shape us in complex ways. The fear of losing more of what we hold dear seems a natural result of such a traumatic experience. How have you found ways to cope with these fears and anxieties?
Losing several close friends and family members in the last two years has changed me from an extrovert to an extreme introvert. I have learned to mask my emotions and to completely control my persona and body language, as well as accurately interpret others'. Also recent trauma has taught me to completely block out certain experiences, and to not trust anyone in my life. I'm learning that these things are now part of me, but I don't have to let them control me. Stay safe everyone!
@jadestone127 I can understand how losing loved ones and traumatic experiences would shape you in profound ways. It's clear you have developed coping mechanisms to protect yourself, but I'm glad to hear you recognize they do not have to control you.
@ASilentObserver
my son died one year ago the day you started this thread.... it was not a pleasant death and I am not doing that great right now.... just feels good to at least say this in a way, out loud to get it out of inside of me... time goes on....
@EmbStitcher33 *hugs* ❤
@EmbStitcher33 I am so deeply sorry for your loss. It is clear your son meant the world to you.
@ASilentObserverI understand that grief can be a deeply transformative experience for many people. It can lead to increased empathy, a re-evaluation of priorities and values, and a greater appreciation for the present moment. It can also be a very challenging and painful process, requiring time and support to navigate. It's important to remember that everyone experiences grief differently and there is no right or wrong way to grieve. It's okay to seek support and reach out for help when needed.
@warmheartedpd1234
Well said friend 🌻
@warmheartedpd1234 It is so important that people have a space to share their experiences without judgment. Grief is deeply personal and complex, and having compassionate listeners like yourself makes a world of difference.
@ASilentObserver
Hmm, grief about anything, caused me to feel more pessimistic. When you lose something or someone you were attached to, it hurts and is quite difficult to accept or move on. When there’s repeated grief, I get used to those sad feelings and my view of the world as a dark place so it starts hurting less.
For me personally, I’ve noticed that when it’s related to a person, I was unable to or didn’t choose to experience the feelings. Years later, when I just mention the name of that person, I cry. Perhaps I should have thought more about it before and talked about it. It’s still difficult to talk about it, but I keep in mind to listen to anyone else experiencing grief, related to people, pets, a job, health, anything. They are all important.
As I mentioned, when I lose something, especially someone, new plans of the future must be made, and I sometimes can’t see the future. However, some of the things that still make me hopeful despite these hardships, are social support and an open mindset to life’s possibilities. Well, doesn’t make the grieving process easier, but my heart is not dark, I still can cope and I do try to get better and help others whenever possible 🌻
@GloriaD can hear how deeply grief has impacted you. The loss of loved ones leaves deep wounds that can be felt for years. Despite facing hardship after hardship, what continues to give you strength?
@ASilentObserver
Hello Obs 🌻 I guess I am appreciative of the small things in life that give me joy. I look forward to this, and I don’t think of what it may take to stop this hope of mine. I sometimes do, but it’s probably not good 😊 Hopeful of happy times 💛
@GloriaD That's wonderful you find joy in the small things in life. They can make a big difference. I'm glad you have hope for happy times ahead.
@GloriaD
