Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav
Community /

Relationship Stress Forum

Info
35,894 Friends
Filter by Topic
Breakups & Divorce Community Space Coping Tools & Resources for Relationships Dating Issues/Tips Friendships Relationship Space Sexual Health Share Your Story Teens Only Zone: Relationships & Friendships! The Self-Care Lounge
Community calendar
Group chat
Ask questions, get support and make friends
Find a group chat
My communities
Considering Therapy?
Talk to an expert therapist
New subscribers
Create a New Thread
Gif Photo Link
Tazzie profile picture
Relationship Stress Automated Taglist
by Tazzie
Last post
 September 16th
...See more Welcome to the Relationship Stress Taglist! This thread is an auto-updating list. The list is regularly updated and can be found below. Please direct any questions or issues to tommy [https://www.7cups.com/@tommy] via private message. Why should I join the taglist? ✔ Never miss out on the weekly check-ins ✔ Get tagged and notified by community leaders whenever a new relevant thread has been posted ✔ Become a more active member of the community. What do I need to do? ✅ To add yourself to this taglist, press the Post to Thread button above and write the exact words Please add me. ❌ To remove yourself from this taglist, press the Post to Thread button above and write the exact words Please remove me. Taglist updated by KateDoskocilova [https://www.7cups.com/@KatePersephone] on 01.12.24 @00Nyx00 @1funredhead @4Jasmine @6Dragonflies @aabrah @Aathmika @AbbyHarris1976 @abiior @AbusgaKayatasha @Adarlya @adhdgal1992 @adribrown7 @adventurousPal4301 @Affliction1 @Albatrosinthesky @Allieeee1121 @AlyGalaxy @AmandaRose89 @AMomentInTime1830 @Anexmos @Angelcrossing1986 @AnotherPerson92 @answers @AntenorA @aPeacefulafternoon @AquaNavySky @Arman13 @ashlynnmarie22 @AshtynLuv97 @Asru @Athenathebluejay420 @Auditormadness9 @auntmommy @Avaboo @AveryLove @awkwardRice @azureSky1487 @Bea945 @beanie @BeginningFixing @blueberryjean345 @blueDog2773 @BlueEast @Booklover95 @Bossedupx3 @bouncyVoice4149 @braveGlobe2817 @bravePeach4448 @breeuniqemsns @Breevus @brightOcean2387 @BrooklynM @Bubbles120 @bubblyFaith17 @bunnyhugs616 @Busranurr @BwahahaLove @c9frexs @caitlin1217 @Callies07132017 @CalmingStar @Calmpineapple @caringCreature8571 @CaringCharlie @CarrieHolmes @Cexe @charmingbeauty55 @ChrisA97 @Chrisbgood46 @Clarisse29 @Colourfultiger @ComingOutAsNB @CompassionateYoshi88 @confidentVision4766 @conscientiousPineapple1782 @ConversationThot404 @Cparsons816 @CraigyP @crazycountry210 @creativeComputer2115 @DanaMH @dancersoul @dancingLake682 @DanielaC @DanielGarzaV @daydreammemories @decisiveScarf8956 @Den2542 @discreetShip7372 @DogFish1 @doodlefroggie @dopey @EchoTheDragon @electricLily13 @ella12346 @ELLE @Emirson2018 @EncouragingSteps @enthusiasticTortoise6681 @eohseo @Everythingisbetterinyourpyjamas @EvolvedScorpio @Explorer6115 @exuberantStrawberries9544 @faithfulHickory1025 @Falkenberg @fantasticDancer50 @Feepersane @Floatingbubbles @fluffycow27 @forcefulFriend4768 @Foreverchangedbyyou @Francescahelps @FranklyMaple @Freshmelon54 @Friendlycomfort81 @frostedPudding @Gabrielamtineo @generousWriter2778 @glasseyedgrace @GodsBabyGirl1981 @goldenFlower74 @gracefulVoice9463 @grassup @Gtalker8845 @GusteeMoon123 @gymnast9460 @Hailey3 @hairyxsnail @HarmonyBlossom @Hashib22 @HealingBrokenWIngs @healingHeart1111 @healinghearts0718 @Healingwhispers14 @Heartofgold07092019 @heavenlyHug9328 @helloapple1885 @helloCity5743 @hereforyoualways123 @heysunshine12 @hippiewannabe @honestWater4345 @honeypie720 @Hope3729 @hopefulPower54 @HopefulPower54 @HumorousPear1826 @iDeepScar @ILikeCilantro @imaginativeneverhappening @imofficiallyburnt @IMott71 @imrose123 @independentClementine6064 @infinitivethoughts2k19 @ingeniousfriend59 @intuitiveSummer6764 @JamilaBrownPsyD @Janet33 @JellyBean299 @jerom222 @joiefae @jwong611 @k87 @Kailah15 @kasmin21 @Katee02 @Katheryn @KatLis123 @Katrine92 @Kentsch @ketket68 @Kevin2009 @kindJoy3316 @kindLemon2749 @kizzyaaliyah @Kpopcat2020 @LadyDair @LadyInSilence @Lalonso2 @lavenderOrange4849 @LeafOnABranch @LeoisListening @LePapillon @Lexloveslife @lightDrum8955 @lightLemonIsaac5408 @LightSoul108 @limeVillage7000 @Liv143 @Lovelylady18 @Lunasel @Lunaticphilosopher @luvkyleigh @lyricalPillow74 @lyricalpillow74 @madels20033 @magicalHorizon48 @mamapants @Mared @MarvelousMack11 @Mavvinder @mbrito712 @Mellietronx @Mellifluous11 @Mia1602 @MidwesternCalmSeeker @MikkyA @MilaAvery @MissDaria18 @MithLycos @modestPine7046 @Morpheus13 @MotherOfAVirgo @Mountainmystic777 @Mrrytu @MyownkindaCrazzi @nabilah17ism @navyOcean3488 @ngsuling1986 @niceCLEMEMTINE1415 @niceDaisy36 @Ninab0bina123 @ninetaleslove @NityaSpiritualHealer @NotAllHere713 @Offmytrack @onedirection1213 @OneErased @Open2Change @ouiCherie @OwenJackson73 @pandaprincess9 @Pandora3796 @pathFinder1725 @patientBranch9284 @peachkitty @PerpetuallyKekastrophic @persistentShade5213 @phia7292 @phia7293 @pioneeringSkies8568 @PlumBeechwood7549 @purpleMango7295 @PurplePansies21 @Purplerain00001 @purpleTree4652 @PurpleVelvet @quickwittedOwl8855 @quitahearsyou @Radioguy @Randomguyuk @Rebekahwriter13 @red85 @Rednuc270539 @rheyoflight @richbich @rieeavery1920 @RoboPhantom @Roro36 @RoseJuliet @rosenova1513 @rrrak @ryha3274 @Sadstan869 @Saeraleis @safetysource12 @Sailor57 @SaimaK @sarahR2004 @SavoyTruffle20 @selfloveisthecure88 @SentientiaPoecile @Seri123 @sgtdavis33 @ShareenBirgesBASSCounGDYMH @ShawnMendesGoals @She13 @ShineWithin @shugha14 @Siciturastra @Silver0824 @sincereFarm2814 @Skybar @skyfallingrain @Skywalker2002 @Skyy0 @sociableOcean9153 @Softheart01 @Solivagant2609 @somewhathappy @SophieKate547 @SparklingSnowflake15 @Spiritseaker @SpreadPeaceandlove @SpringWaltz @SquishySquid01 @StardustLetters @starplucker123 @Stephen @stephi0504 @strawberrywillow @Sugarcoat3 @SugareeIsMe091121 @Summershy @sunnyApricot6027 @SupportiveMonkey46 @sweetcake0707 @sweetlife101 @SylvestreX @Tahja07 @Tazzie @thegirlnatureforgot625 @TheMcManager @TheMushroomMan1216 @thisllpass @thisthenewme @Tiger222 @TranquilSkye @TravellingPrincess @tryingmybest7 @unassumingHuman4669 @understandingWater785 @Uniquesmiley @urbanwave @vallllllllllllll @w305 @warmheartedPlace7925 @Warrior2684 @Waves4 @Webehejdjfj @weirdbook @Wildarkberry @WinglessYetFlying @Wittie96 @WriterOfTheNight @WunderfrogWeirdo @xandia @XanFransisco @Xerah @YankeeOrangetiger @SpiritTea @Grammy23 @quietlistener2023 @HopefulOne81 @modestRaspberries7557 @BeautifullyLostxo @batgirl1234 @sincereLake4939 @CharmingGrapefruit4334 @PurpleGloria @willforeverbepeach @Mishka1599 @K1088
ASilentObserver profile picture
New to the Relationship Stress Community? Introduce yourself here!! ❤️
by ASilentObserver
Last post
 September 1st
...See more Greetings from the Relationship Stress Community!! Are you new to the Relationship Stress Community? Tell us some things about yourself and get to know others that joined the community this month! Question prompts: What brings you to the Relationship Stress community? What is one thing you love most about yourself (or, perhaps, your loved ones)? Benefits of being a member of the Relationship Stress Community: Give and receive support from others who are in relationships. Share your relationship journey (memories, struggles, challenges) in relevant topics comfortably. Participate in community activities and events (eg. Check-ins, Icebreakers, Forum Discussions) Plus, members who participate regularly could become part of the Relationship Stress team, as well! Here are some quick links for you to check out: our taglist [https://www.7cups.com/forum/relationships/CommunitySpace_1256/RelationshipStressAutomatedTaglist_222210/]! Join in to get updates on discussions and events. check out this post [https://www.7cups.com/forum/relationships/CommunitySpace_1256/RelationshipStressGroupSupportSessionsSchedule_316598/] for updates on weekly discussions! check out our newest check-in [https://www.7cups.com/forum/relationships/CommunitySpace_1256/RelationshipStressCommunityCheckInFebruary1723_347041/] here! check this post [https://www.7cups.com/forum/RelationshipSupport_66/IntroduceyourselftotheRelationshipCommunity_239/HowToGetStarted_134558/] with more information on how to navigate the community. If you have any question, do not hesitate to contact KatePersephone [https://www.7cups.com/@KatePersephone] (teens and adults) or reply on this thread! Do not be a lurker! Join us and introduce yourself here!! tagging our newest subcribers: @itzBailey114 @JGonza92 @faithfulSugar9905 @Princ3ss6621 @MentallyxiLLxTotallyxChill @Blueswan001 @Spreagadh @funnyCoconut6733 @sunnyFig7193 @selfconfidentCar6076 @CreateYourOwnFlow @Fmulana @Dashing00997955 @sleepy003 @jarfold416 @Bubbleswithtroubles @Heartbroken4eva @SocialHilbray @Novalee07 @lyssyl [a brown and white bear dancing together while holding hands] ------------------------- Are you new to the Relationship Stress community? Introduce yourself here [https://www.7cups.com/forum/relationships/CommunitySpace_1256/NewtotheRelationshipStressCommunityIntroduceyourselfhere_164924/]! Do you want to be the first to get updates on discussions and events? Consider joining the taglist [https://www.7cups.com/forum/relationships/CommunitySpace_1256/RelationshipStressAutomatedTaglist_222210/]! Do you want to be updated on the weekly discussions in the Relationship Support Room? Subscribe to this thread [https://www.7cups.com/forum/relationships/CommunitySpace_1256/RelationshipStressGroupSupportSessionsSchedule_316598/]! Do you want to help out in the Relationship Stress Community? Consider becoming a forum supporter [https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSehAkk72S0RWV1oQ5zShECQ6s-_fDYaxPE974iHorzqNRo1Ag/viewform] or a room supporter [https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSetyJ7jp7W52-EIpqvFYLhfmpsgTW4BbzUwmi9r22OQ9AdH8w/viewform]! ------------------------- Edited by KatePersephone [https://www.7cups.com/@KatePersephone] 
QuietMagic profile picture
Tips for Dealing With Unhealthy and Abusive Relationships
by QuietMagic
Last post
 August 10th
...See more [TW: discussion of abuse] ------------------------- Types of relationships Relationships can be healthy, unhealthy, or abusive. 1) Healthy relationships Healthy relationships are not perfect, but most of the time they’ll have the following qualities: Respect, trust, and safety * Feeling supported by your partner and like you can rely on them * Maintaining respect even when there are differences or disagreements * Equal power when it comes to decision-making * Feeling like it is safe to be vulnerable and have emotional closeness Open communication * Being able to share things honestly without fearing punishment or ridicule * Being able to discuss sensitive topics like physical intimacy and economic/financial arrangements * Both people listen and try to understand and empathize with the other person's perspective Healthy boundaries * Respect for boundaries * Enjoy spending time together but can be happy apart * Okay to have some privacy and personal space * Okay to have your own interests, hobbies, and relationships with friends/family 2) Unhealthy relationships Unhealthy relationships lack some of the qualities listed above that are present in healthy relationships, for example: Lack of respect, trust, or safety * Not being able to explore or share feelings safely * Feeling like partner won't be supportive or listen if you share things * Feeling like if you share vulnerable things, your partner will use them against you * One person has all of the power to make decisions or is unwilling to compromise * One person’s needs and opinions are dismissed Communication issues * Not listening to what the other person has to say or having empathy * Ignoring, disrespecting, or minimizing feelings * Disagreements often turn into intense, hurtful fights * Frequent arguments without resolution * Avoiding discussing problems * Lying or dishonesty * Using insults, harsh criticism, or words designed to hurt during arguments Lack of respect for boundaries * Being coerced into doing things you don't want to do * Being pressured into only spending time with your partner * Strong jealousy and guilt-tripping when spending time with other people or on your own hobbies and interests * Being pressured into intimate or sexual activity * Invasion of privacy * Lack of respect for personal space or belongings 3) Abusive relationships Abusive relationships are similar to unhealthy relationships but also include a pattern of one person manipulating or frightening the other, usually to maintain power and control. Destruction of safety and trust * Threats (or acting on threats) to hurt you, themselves, loved ones, or pets * Threats (or acting on threats) to destroy things you own * Threats (or acting on threats) to spread rumors, share secrets, or share private photos/videos * Physical harm such as hitting, slapping, pushing, or restraining against your will * Physical or sexual touching that you do not consent to Harmful communication * Saying degrading, intimidating, demeaning, or humiliating things * Treating ideas, feelings, and experiences with contempt * Intolerance of disagreement and dismissing perspective completely * Blaming you for their problems and making you feel responsible for their behavior Absence of boundaries: isolation * Trying to prevent you from seeing friends/family or go to school/work * Pressuring to spend all of your time with them or guilt-tripping for not doing so * Trying to persuade you that other relationships don't matter or that they are the only one who cares about you * Telling you to not talk to anyone else or reach out for help about the relationship Absence of boundaries: control * Reading text messages, e-mails, or social media messages without permission * Trying to monitor and control what you wear, where you go, and who you spend time with * Expressing extreme jealousy and constantly checking up on you ------------------------- Tips for unhealthy relationships 1) Deciding whether to stay in a relationship If you’ve been trying to work on the relationship for a while, it may be worth asking whether the relationship is worth keeping. Some signs that the relationship is still worth working on and trying to improve: * You’re both willing to accept responsibility for things that need improving and work on trying to change them * You both haven’t given up on trying to improve things * You still trust each other enough to be vulnerable and forgive past mistakes * You still care about each other’s well-being * You’re still emotionally close Some signs that the relationship may not be worth trying to save: * You’ve both given up on things improving * You’re no longer emotionally or physically close * You have insurmountable differences in your values and goals * You no longer trust each other * It’s difficult to imagine being together in the future * The relationship has become abusive 2) Healthy communication Couples who have lasting and satisfying relationships tend to follow certain patterns in how they communicate with one another. Use “LARA” for difficult conversations: * Listen: listen with the goal of understanding * Affirm: confirm that you understand what's been said and try to find common ground or something they’ve shared that you can agree with * Respond: respond directly to any concerns or questions they’ve shared rather than talking past what they’ve said * Add: add your own perspective Use “I” statements: * This means using phrases like “I feel”, “I think”, and “I believe” when sharing things or giving feedback * This can help to avoid blaming or attacking the other person while communicating Use assertive communication: This is one of four communication styles: * Passive communication: being hesitant to share things; can lead to unmet needs * Aggressive communication: disregarding the other person's feelings; can lead to increased conflict * Passive-aggressive communication: expressing frustration indirectly (e.g. sarcasm, silence, subtle jabs); can create confusion or distrust * Assertive communication: expressing needs and feelings clearly while respecting the other person's perspective; helps build understanding and resolve conflicts 3) Healthy boundaries Boundaries are the limits, rules, and expectations that we establish for relationships with others. Some examples of boundaries: * Freedom to have your own thoughts or opinions * Limits on how much time you spend with someone * Control over privacy, space, and your body * Limits on what topics you are willing to discuss * Limits on how much emotional support you offer someone else One framework that can be used for communicating boundaries is DEAR MAN: * Describe: describe the situation * Express: express your feelings * Assert: state what you want * Reinforce: explain how the other person will benefit * Mindful: stay focused on your goal * Appear confident: present yourself as confident * Negotiate: be flexible and open to alternative solutions 4) Self-care Self-care is doing things that help with taking care of your well-being. Some benefits of self-care in the context of relationships: * Can help build resilience to stress so that difficult interactions don't affect you as much * Can help you recharge and recover after difficult interactions * Can help you have the personal resources to be able to engage with people effectively Some examples of self-care: * Taking care of your body through exercise, diet, and sleep * Setting aside some time for yourself to engage in hobbies or activities that bring you joy or relaxation * Connecting with friends or loved ones you enjoy spending time with * Acknowledging and processing emotions, for example through journaling or talking to a therapist * Engaging in spiritual practices like prayer, mindfulness, meditation, or yoga ------------------------- Tips for abusive relationships Why people stay in abusive relationships People in abusive situations often have good reasons for staying: * Fear of physical harm/injury if they try to leave * Fear of harm to friends, family, pets, or people who are trying to help them leaving * Fear of abuser taking away children or the challenges of being a single parent * Not having the means to leave or live alone, financial dependence on abuser * Having established relative control within the abusive situation (e.g. being able to predict partner's moods and skillfully manage them to minimize abuse) * Abuser has promised that things will get better or that abuse won't happen again * Feeling guilt at the idea of abandoning abuser or feeling a responsibility to help them * Caring for partner and still feeling love toward them and wanting the relationship to work * Feeling like they deserve the abuse or won't find anything better if they leave Staying safe while in an abusive relationship These are some things that can be helpful if you are not able or willing to leave an abusive relationship: * Find safe ways to communicate with friends and family (e.g. private phone, computer in a safe/trusted place) * Have a safety plan for different situations (e.g. what to do during incidents, keeping children safe). Here are a couple resources that might be helpful: https://www.dvccct.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/03/Domestic-Violence-Safety-Plan-DVCC-.pdf https://www.courts.oregon.gov/programs/family/domestic-violence/Documents/DVSafetyPlan.pdf * Reach out for support to a crisis line, counselor, advocacy group, or local services * Build as strong of a social support network as your partner will allow * Be kind to yourself and engage in self-care activities as you're able to [You can also review the tips listed above for unhealthy relationships and see if there are any items there that feel helpful or like you’d be able to implement them without risking your safety.] Leaving an abusive relationship These are some things that can be helpful if you are considering or planning to leave an abusive relationship: * Use a secure phone or computer while researching and planning how to leave * Notify trusted friends, family, and coworkers of your situation and any plans you have * Decide where you'll go. Domestic violence shelters can temporarily provide for living needs and help provide referrals to other services (e.g. legal help, counseling/-support, child care, employment programs, etc.). You may also be able to find long-term housing options or assistance programs. * Pack an emergency bag with essentials (e.g. clothes, medication, documents, items for children) * If able to do so without causing suspicion, change the passwords to your e-mail, social media, and financial accounts * Have a safety plan for different situations that might occur after you leave. Here are a couple resources that might be helpful: https://www.dvccct.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/03/Domestic-Violence-Safety-Plan-DVCC-.pdf https://www.courts.oregon.gov/programs/family/domestic-violence/Documents/DVSafetyPlan.pdf [Note: these tips mostly apply to domestic abuse situations where someone is living with their abuser] ------------------------- Sources The information above is condensed from the following resources. If you want more information about a particular topic, feel free to visit these links. Types of relationships https://www.uwyo.edu/dos/sexualmisconduct/healthy-relationships.html https://www.colorado.edu/ova/healthy-unhealthy-and-abusive-behaviors-relationships https://www.northwestern.edu/care/get-info/relationship-violence/healthy-and-unhealthy-relationships.html Whether to stay in a relationship https://www.verywellmind.com/how-to-know-if-your-relationship-is-worth-saving-5190891 https://www.healthline.com/health/toxic-relationship#can-it-improve Healthy communication https://positivepsychology.com/communication-in-relationships/ https://sparqtools.org/lara/ https://wellbeingscounselling.ca/the-power-of-i-statements/ Boundaries https://positivepsychology.com/great-self-care-setting-healthy-boundaries/ https://dbt.tools/interpersonal_effectiveness/dear-man.php Self-care https://turningpointcare.com/blog/7-tips-for-practicing-self-care/ Staying in an abusive relationship https://knowmore.fsu.edu/helping-healing/why-victims-stay https://www.health.mil/Military-Health-Topics/Centers-of-Excellence/Psychological-Health-Center-of-Excellence/Real-Warriors-Campaign/Articles/5-Tips-for-Staying-Safe-in-an-Abusive-Relationship Safety plans https://www.dvccct.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/03/Domestic-Violence-Safety-Plan-DVCC-.pdf https://www.courts.oregon.gov/programs/family/domestic-violence/Documents/DVSafetyPlan.pdf Leaving an abusive relationship https://www.projectwomanohio.org/blog/navigating-the-exit-how-to-leave-an-abusive-relationship https://www.helpguide.org/relationships/domestic-abuse/getting-out-of-an-abusive-relationship 
tealMelon1154 profile picture
I need help with my issues which have been affecting my relationship
by tealMelon1154
Last post
 2 days ago
...See more So I need some advice. I recently got married but keep in mind I’m in my early 20s still. I feel sick of conforming to a role not that I hate my husband. However being newly wed but living with his parents has been a blessing and a curse. There’s no alone time like ever and I’ve been working most of the time with him as well. My family stopped talking to me completely. I just wish I could be happy but like I feel like I can’t do anything without consulting. I feel like I mess up and I don’t know what’s wrong with me. Gosh I just feel so stuck. And my eating disorder has been coming back with pangs of anxiety getting to me causing me heart palpitations. I cry whenever I think about my family and today I made a terrible mistake. I embarrassed my husband at a public restaurant saying don’t touch me please because the night before he completely ignored me. His family is now mad at me because I did that but tbh I just didn’t want him to touch my side belly area in public bc I have an eating disorder. 
Crunklet profile picture
Does this relationship sound like one you'd want?
by Crunklet
Last post
 October 6th
...See more * Nobody plans dates. You talk of possibilities in text. But things are only decided the instant she gets in his car, and after every activity's end. * He asks her "What do you want to do?" She usually gives an answer, or she might ask, "I don't know, what do YOU want to do?" And he will tell her "Dunno, you?" And this can repeat until she finally is the one who gives an answer every time. * You both usually walk around in shopping centers together, talking about what's in front of you, or just eating, often without having a conversation for hours besides brief exchanges about what to do next (see above). * She may send long vents about her emotions and past in text, and he in response will text a paragraph about how everyone who hurts her was wrong, and how he loves her and will never leave her. Irl, when she seems mildly upset, he'll kiss her hand and say "I love you." * Sometimes when out walking, she'll say something to him a few times, then stop entirely if he's not responding. * He can just walk up to something when out and start interacting with it, and she'll just wait for him to be done if he's focused (see above). She may continue to say nothing after he's done. * If she has her attention grabbed by something, and pays attention to it, he can walk away to go towards something else, and even if she was mid-sentence after just-then realizing he walked away, she'll just run up to him, saying nothing. * When she brings up to him her own desires to do something right in front of her when out, he might sometimes say the thing might be a bit infeasible or inconvenient, then she'll try to ask clarifying questions or give counter-reasons, then they'll go back and forth a bit, until she agrees to give it up, even if she doesn't understand why. * When he does suggest activities in the brief transition periods, he'll usually suggest scrolling a social media app on his phone in the car, or joyriding around. They can sometimes do each for over an hour. * When he does suggest something they can do days ahead of time, it's always a big event like a fair or going to a different city, so they can stroll around like usual and have their eye caught by something. * He always waits for her to reveal information about herself or what she likes, because he's so content with her that he doesn't need to actively know more. * When he spontaneously talks about things he likes, he doesn't ever need her to say much in return, because he trusts that she's listening. Especially when he talks about family, friend, or job stuff. * He's said offhandedly once he reacts to coffee like an ADHD person would and has two diagnosed relatives. He's also said he has brain fog from working all day, but he feels mentally refreshed from sexual convos and interactions. * She's initiated small sexual touches like a clothing lift or a guided hand, which he either responds to with silence, or saying while smiling, "I don't know what to do" to which she tells him "I don't expect you to." * One thing he initiates is comments about how she'd look hot in something, or jokes about how they'll have to do it in the butt bc of certain nationwide bans. When she asks him, even after a year into the relationship, stuff like "Do you want our first time to be scheduled or spontaneousl?" he'll respond with "I'm not sure" and there will be silence followed by a change in topic. There's no pressure to do anything. * Even after this, he'll do something like touch her breasts skin-to-skin while she's sleeping, without ever discussing the scenario before, during, or after with her. It's only when she is the one who says "Did you enjoy my body?" after they already physically went separate ways for the time being about it is when they first discuss it, and he might say "I was just thinking about that and felt bad because I didn't ask" and she'll say "It's okay <3." And then at the next earliest opportunity  for him to be close to her while she's sleeping, he touches her bare chest under clothes again, after not being told "no." Does this sound like a relationship you would want to be in?
willingWatermelon472 profile picture
Advice Please
by willingWatermelon472
Last post
 October 2nd
...See more Looking for advice please I am (17 FM) I am going through problems with my ex. A few month ago she made me block my two bestfriend s. I know it’s my fault for doing it but I felt like I had to especially since I’ve known this girl since middle school (5 years) and I love her so much. I wish it wasn’t so toxic, she misunderstood a lot and basically didn’t like them and had me block them. I know it wasn’t right and it wasn’t healthy it was so toxic for me to block them and I regret it and miss them so much. I argued with her today and she mentioned that if I try to fix it with them because I told her that I felt so bad for doing that to them she said that it would be messed up between us for good.I feel like she’s doing it on purpose.. I unblocked my ex bsf today and she immediately texted me which I didn’t respond. She misses me and even tho i blocked her she needs her bestfriend. I miss them both so much and wanna reach out and fix it but i’m torn between my relationship. If anyone could help me please I could use it so so much I need advice, I have no one to talk to. I feel like we are so toxic and unhealthy we don’t even have friends we only have eachother so I have nobody to talk to. We are basically taking a break and we aren’t worrying about eachother now, and we are focusing on ourselves, but I know we won’t get to try again if I make the decision to go back to my friends because she says they are apart of the past. I want her as my girlfriend because I love her but i also want my bestfriends back and I can only have one.. what should i do? I feel better now that we are having space I feel free and okay and not trapped but i love her and don’t wanna mess it up or hurt her feeling it would hurt bad to see her move on. 
Ilikeblackcoffee profile picture
Do you guys ever listen to the same romantic song over and over after a breakup?
by Ilikeblackcoffee
Last post
 September 21st
...See more Do you guys ever listen to the same romantic song over and over after a breakup? 😏 I find it weird how a song can get connected to a person or a certain phase of your life, but even after you’ve completely moved on, you can still listen to it and genuinely enjoy it. Like, you’re not thinking about that person, you’re not missing them, you’re not even in love with anyone anymore, yet somehow that same romantic song still hits the same ....
Hope profile picture
How is your relationship with your parents?
by Hope
Last post
 September 4th
...See more Hi everyone! When we think of relationships, we often associate the word with romantic relationships but its much more than that. Relationships include the ones we have with our loved ones. How is your relationship with your parents?
cheesyjoker profile picture
Attachment issues
by cheesyjoker
Last post
 August 30th
...See more I am gonna get engaged. This is a typical arranged one. I chose to say "yes" to the guy my parents set up for me. They have provided me with a list, seen a few people but I chose this particular guy. It's been three months. We only met four time so far. Next week, it's our engagement. I'm afraid whether I can love him. We aren't yet become lovers. I hope with time, there would be a bond. I know for most of the people, wedding is big and they can take it up after love. But in an Indian setup.. marriages are pretty big the first step. I always believed in love after marriage crap. It might happen as well but now I'm afraid well, will it happen?? How long will it take my heart to understand the fact someone loves me and I have to let him in. 
BusyBird profile picture
I did good?!
by BusyBird
Last post
 August 22nd
...See more Hey guys! I'm writing this at like 1:00 AM but I had a rough patch about an hour ago with my boyfriend. But this time I actually did a good job handling it! He and his second girlfriend (it's a weird "poly" thing) were kind of provoking me. Making weird comments about me being sat on by her, and also teasing me for being on my phone chatting with friends. I was joking with them at first, but it was making me uncomfortable so eventually I tried to ignore them. Well, at some point I said "ew". Instantly they scowled. I ignored it because I didn't know what to do about it. I figured they mistook it (whether deliberately or not), and thought they would eventually forget it since it wasn't really a big deal, right? Well, I was wrong. After maybe 30 minutes, boyfriend starts talking to me but he was glaring and he had a monotone, grumpy voice. I realize he may have been laying it on thick to try to get me to ask what was wrong. Apparently he was so upset by me saying "ew", that he had to make it known that I messed up. I had to insist it wasn't even made toward them. He made me insist this multiple times. He did not believe I could have been saying "ew" to anything on my phone screen. But I remained calm and consistent. This can be very difficult. Luckily his other girlfriend had already left the room. She tends to make things worse when she's around for tense moments like these. She sides with him and then it becomes me against both of them. But hey, she went to bed so it was just him and I for the silly arguing. A couple of times I repeated a line he has told me multiple times throughout our relationship: "Don't make a problem when there is none." Or some variation of this exact line. He actually took that and told me I was trying to invalidate his feelings. I had to remind him that was a line he always told me when I was upset about something. Again, I remained calm. Even after I insisted on everything being fine, and the "ew" not necessarily being for them, he was mad. Trying to tell me I was forcing him to talk about these things. Of course, I was not trying to force a continued conversation about the issue. I'm not even the one who brought it up. But instead of arguing about who started what, I decided to just ask: "Do you want a hug?" He said things like, "only hug me if you want to," and "I won't ask you for a hug." Again, I insisted on something. I said, "I'm asking you if you want a hug." And wouldn't you know it? He actually stopped arguing over hugs and just said yes. So, I hugged him. Normally during these situations, he pushes harder and harder, and I lose my calm. But this time? I stayed calm and I knew just how to respond to most of what he said, and it actually worked! Now I have to hope the crippling weight of the dramatic and late hour doesn't cause me to suddenly start crying when I go to bed. I want sleep, and also they respond with annoyance when I cry at night. So... wish me luck. 😆
lover119 profile picture
attachment/black and white thinking
by lover119
Last post
 August 16th
...See more I can’t help but separate someone as bad and good. I know this might seem normal a couple of times but have you ever been convinced someone is completely evil and is dangerous? I’ve thought that for everyone in my life at least once. It’s already hard for me to control my emotions and to not let it control my life but lately it’s been getting worse and it’s ruining my relationships. I can see someone as completely evil and irredeemable and it doesn’t go away. I am very non-confrontational, and naturally distant. So for me to have these thoughts and feelings and not have an outlet without it ruining my relationships is important. I really want to understand how to fix this and to stop seeing one flaw as an assumption that someone is entirely bad. Sometimes it feels so heavy that I feel like I’m sensing a devil or an angel. I haven’t outwardly said anything yet but it seems to be too frequent. I have tried to cut off contact with my sister and my father because of this. I’m aware that I’m being dramatic but I can’t help it. I try my best to control my emotions when this happens but if I try and view them as neutral, it makes me feel like I’m in constant danger.  I’m sorry for this being so cluttered, my brain is just all over the place and I just wanted to get rid of my thoughts 🥲
goldenBanana7814 profile picture
Almost had a break in a relationship and I’m stuck.
by goldenBanana7814
Last post
 August 15th
...See more My boyfriend and I had a bad argument to the point he called me crazy and knew this was very unhealthy. He wanted to have a break of a relationship. If he did, then he would’ve take my name off from the marines ball guest and he doesn’t know how long we needed a break. I refused since he asked me. I felt like maybe it was a choice or so? But I don’t like having breaks or space cause you never know what could happen. And I feel like a bad girlfriend for starting an argument that was suppose to be done from the start that he had to go to work at his services earlier. He got 3 hours of sleep and I really do feel bad. Having doubts about myself right now and everytime there’s something for tomorrow, I keep messing it up. What do I do? I wanna be a better gf. 
Minimum00 profile picture
August Discussion: Feeling unheard in the Relationship
by Minimum00
Last post
 August 13th
...See more Hello everyone, I hope we are all well. Tonight, I'm going to host a session on the topic "Feeling Unheard in the Relationship". The feeling of not being listened to is one of the most painful feelings in a relationship. How do you know if that feeling is accurate? When do you need to change direction? Hopefully, this discussion will give you a new perspective. Time & Place: 10 pm EDT in Support Session on Wednesday, 08/12/2026  See you there!
xandia profile picture
The Blame Game
by xandia
Last post
 August 9th
...See more I realize that relationships are not easy and take work on the part of both participants. However, it can become an issue when one partner develops a problem dealing with how the other relates to them. What I mean is, when one is used to dealing with one type of person as opposed to dealing with someone totally different from what they are used to. In my case, I have a boyfriend who is used to dating and having relationships with partners who are dependent on them for support; whether it's financial or emotional. I, however, have worked my entire life and have been dependent on myself for providing what I need financially and emotionally. This has caused problems within our relationship. I'm finding it difficult to relate to these qualities. I'm not looking for someone to support me. I can support myself. And yet, he insists on doing this. It has caused tension in our relationship as I will not give up working. I have discovered that he tends to blame me for problems in our relationship. I counter that it's his way of thinking about his partner that causes a rift. I realize that his generation looks at things differently. But I refuse to give up any of the attributes I've learned. I'm not from his generation. I'm younger and I will always keep myself aware of how I want to be treated in any relationship; as an equal. I'm beginning to think this may be about control. Albeit, very subtle control. I feel he views women needing to be taken care of. That is about as far from my way of seeing life as it can get. I want our relationship to work; but for it to work I need to make him understand that I'm an independent, strong, self-aware woman who doesn't need a provider or protector. This is basically the crux of the problem. I appreciate all who read and respond to my query.
hurtandanxious profile picture
grieving the connection I don't have in my marriage
by hurtandanxious
Last post
 July 28th
...See more I'm struggling today with a heavy quiet ache in my marriage.  Things on the surface are polite and functional - my husband is friendly, helps around the house and we keep the status quo  But there is a complete absence of warmth affection or emotional intimacy. A while ago, I explicitly let him know how much I need hugs and physical affection (not sex) but nothing has changed.  I've started to feel less anxious and panicked over time, but now the deeper grief is settling in.  I feel like a fixture in my own home and I'm realizing this isn't the partnership or like I envisioned for myself at my age.  (47 years married) I'm doing the best to hold my boundaries stay grounded and build my own peace but today it just feel heavy and lonely.  Just needed a safe place to share with people who understand what it feels like to grieve a connection while still in the relationship. Unfortunately he is not my safe place anymore.

Relationship Stress

Welcome to Relationship Stress! This is a safe, supportive and inclusive place where you can discuss everything and anything related to Relationships.


What are the different forum topics for Relationship Stress?

Breakups & Divorce: Are you going through a breakup or divorce? Talk about it here.

Community Space: A place for introductions, icebreakers and check-ins!

Coping Tools & Resources: Need some resources? Find them here!

Dating Issues/Tips: A place for all things dating.

Friendships: A place for all things friendships.

Relationship Space: A place for all things relationships.

Sexual Health: Need to discuss sexual health? Do it here!

Share Your Story: Share Your Story here!

Teens Only Zone: A place for teens to discuss.

The Self-Care Lounge: Take good care of yourself here!


How can I help?

You can help us by simply responding to threads and sharing your story (if you're comfortable). Check-in with us, join a discussion, or start one! Alternatively, you can join us as a Forum Leader. Check out this thread for more information.


Helpful Threads

Taglist: Do you want to stay up to date with our community? Then join our tag list to be notified whenever there is a new discussion or update within the community!


Relationship Stress FAQ

Q: Are there any sub-community specific guidelines that we need to adhere to?

A: You can find sub-community specific guidelines below, which you should follow in addition to the general forum guidelines.


Q: Are there any live group chat rooms?

A: Yes! Adults can join us every Thursday in the Relationships chat room. 


Help! I still have a question!

If you need help, feel free to contact a community leader or post here, and someone will contact you!

Community Guidelines

Welcome to the Relationship Stress Community!!

✔ Maintain a positive and constructive environment in the Relationship Stress Community. 

✔ Kindly do not express judgments, attack or impose beliefs onto anyone within the community. 

✔ Please do not double post in different areas of forums & always ensure you're posting in the correct area so you can get better support.  To know the various forum areas & get an overview of the community, please Click Here!!

✔ Please do not SPAM any part of the forums with unrelated links or ads.  

Read the 7 Cups Guidelines
Community Leaders
Community Mentor Leader
KatePersephone profile picture
@KatePersephone
Forum Supporter
Mooniey profile picture
@Mooniey
Community Resources

★ Making the Sub-Community your home!!

★ Get started with Relationship Community!!

★ Relationship and Friendship Support  Sub-Community Guide

★ Welcome Resource: Welcome to the Relationship Support Subcommunity!!

★ Discussion Calendar: Resource for you to know the upcoming support sessions on Relationships. 

★ Breakup FAQs: This is a great resource for all those who experiencing break-up struggles in their lives. 

★ 7Cups Self-Help Guides: to help you a bit to deal with certain issues you may face in your relationships. 

✔ Breakups

✔ Family Relationships

✔ Surviving Domestic Assault

✔ Forgiveness

★ Ember's Relationship Resources: a list of resources that could help you in understanding your relationships better. 

★ 12 Relationship Tips: A good checklist to improve your relationships. 

★ Relationship Support Wiki: the place where you can find some great resources on relationships. 

★ Dealing with Unhealthy and Abusive Relationships

Other Resources:

★ The Relationship Support Forum Team: Learn more about the Relationship Support Community Leadership & Moderation Team. 

★ Apply to be a Forum Supporter!: If you're not a Forum Supporter and would like to be one, please apply through the application. 

★ Become part of the Relationship Support Team:

✔  To join Forum /  Feed Sub-Team, please Click Here!!

✔  To join the Adult Support Team, please Apply Here!!

Thank you!! heart