Relationships Help or Hinder?
- What ways can we still have meaning in our lives even when relationships do not seem to contribute to it?
- What are the ways relationships make my life better?
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A relationship with the wrong person can definitely hinder your growth. Not all people are for our good. Our partner should add to the relationship. They should bring out the best in us but also reflect how we are as a person to an extent. You should be better and stronger and be able to move forward together. The relationship should not drain you day after day emotionally or physically. No, it's not going to be all sunshine and rainbows but it's definitely got to enhance your life and add to it. Just my 2 cents here. 😀
@YourCaringConfidant great observations and insights!
For some reason, the idea that we can have meaning outside of relationship is shocking. Does this include internal relationships with yourself? I can’t compute this. Everything is in relationship. Maybe I am overthinking it.
@ConstellationSystem my take on this "What ways can we still have meaning in our lives even when relationships do not seem to contribute to it?"
Is what if I am a relationship that is antagonistic? Does that contribute to my sense of meaning?
Oh I see, I would say no. But it’s unavoidable to experience so just learn what you can but most
Of all learn how to respect yourself and leave.
@soulsings
I had a conversation with someone and my perspective on this seems to have changed but I can’t articulate it. Please share your thoughts.
@soulsings
Relationships make our life better when they are honest.
Uplifting.
Respectful.
Not one sided.
And bring out the best version of us 🩷🤗
@Amanda84 You hit the nail on the head! Truth 👸.
@soulsings
I believe people can find joy and meaning in volunteer work or hobbies like gardening.
@soulsings
I'm on the verge of leaving Cups, disillusioned that opening up looking for help and to help others has been misunderstood, emotional dysregulation is not a goof match for Cups.
@RunningMachine. We appreciate you in the group discussions that you have joined.
@adventurousBranch3786
Thank you 😁😁
I'm in a better place, talked it through in principle with a couple of random listeners, my first therapist and a friend's psychiatrist and have been reassured that my frustration wasn't excessive and not purely a result of emotional dysregulation. I'm just going to be more mindful of how much I share moving forwards.
@soulsings
I do not understand this first question. Does it mean that people in (social, family or romantic?) relationships can NOT have meaning? I have lived all these years without thinking of having "meaning" in my life. Culturally, it does not seem to be a need.
As to the second question, there are relationships that actually do make your life worse, but they are relationships you must have. I am thinking of certain family or work, or other imposed relationships (such as if you are in jail, at the hospital or school, for instance). If one needs more positive relationships, I encourage joining associations and making oneself useful. With the right state of mind, positive relationships will happen in no time.
- What ways can we still have meaning in our lives even when relationships do not seem to contribute to it?
- What are the ways relationships make my life better?
@Fradiga regarding this
"What ways can we still have meaning in our lives even when relationships do not seem to contribute to it?"
I think of dysfunctional relationships where animosity has replaced caring or apathy has replaced interest, but even then I can have purpose in my life.
@soulsings
Thanks for taking the trouble to explain. Well then, it is a question of how many bad relationships vs. the good ones and also how Important they all are.
Everything is on a scale and - for instance - someone may think they have a great relationship with someone else, but..... others can see that it is NOT such a good relationship. Another example is that you struggle in a class and blame the teacher, when possibly you are just entrenched in this opinion because you do not like the topic anyway.
It is impossible to only have NICE people in your life. If there are too many, the issue might be with you rather than with them.
@Fradiga
I noticed a mistake I made in the last sentence above.
" If there are too many, the issue might be with you rather than with them." should read: If there are too many bad ones, the issue might be with you rather than with them.
@soulsings
religion and philosophy
For me it has been my faith. Truly need distance from some annoying people, who can’t hear no. I’ve encountered this at my church recently, an older man making me feel uncomfortable and others trying to justify it. I truly don’t wish, to be close any of them anymore. But spending time with my dog, I am most at ease. Because, many people either can’t hear “no” or justify bad behavior. I just want a simple no and goodbye. No pushing nor topics of discussion. Because people, including my family will never leave me be. And it’s something, I’m understanding but won’t forgive others for justifying.
@secretFriend2402 sorry to hear you are having coping challenges with people at the church. There are many avenues for spiritual activity so you can always try another avenue if the one you are on does not feel supportive.
@soulsings
- What ways can we still have meaning in our lives even when relationships do not seem to contribute to it?
This is the very question I wrestle with most. I do feel a lot of peace and am productive when I am alone. But I always feel something is missing. I have the awareness that I am looking for that old childhood need of being accepted and loved by someone. I try not to need it, but I still desire it so much. I'd like to feel like I have a place in the world and belong somewhere.
- What are the ways relationships make my life better?
The only relationships that have made my life better are with my kids. It's a different kind of relationship, I don't get support obviously. But I do feel satisfied socially and in deeper meaning.
I feel you. Though, I don’t have kids. I noticed, I rarely laugh. But the few times, I do are when the kids at church; do something random or even their tantrums. I don’t know, it’s weird; some people look at me strangely, I’m usually laughing by myself but you can’t find many places with so many kids getting along and roaming free.
@secretFriend2402 Kids are so innocent. They represent so many of our own basic emotions. They act without all the self-protection or malice. They like everyone. They try to get their needs met in the most crude ways. They are funny. I am the same way you described. 😊
