Part II: Navigating Your Own Kayak

A few comments on some of the slides.

Slide #8: The Emotional Journey of Creating Anything Great--- I appreciated the role Family + Humour [sic, probably originated from Britain?] Perhaps this is a picky thing, but giving credit where credit is due is something I appreciate as an ingrained researcher. Thanks in advance (I realize this is probably a draft copy of your presentation.)

Slide #9: Trough of Sorrow—because of the great credit, Paul Graham avc.com, I was able to go down a pleasant rabbit hole and learn more about “dropping serious wisdom” and the fact that Paul Graham is basically my age, give or take a few years, and he’s developed a programming language, Arc, a startup Viaweb, and co-founded the startup accelerator and seed capital firm Y Combinator (which, by a confluence of events, our son was involved in, receiving an award for his patent.). Seven degrees of separation between any of 8 billion beings on this planet. It never fails to dazzle me. Oh, and I have to read Hackers & Painters now--- seriously great topic.

Slide #10: Optimize/Endure hit home for me.

Slide #14: Bleak indeed!

Slide #16: Releasing past weight, easier said than done, but reminds me of a story I read about the cook on the Titanic, whose name was  Charles John Joughin, and who, prior to the Titanic sinking, ordered his staff to provision all the lifeboats with provisions including 4 loaes of bread apiece, then, after having a “drop of liqueur,”  he personally threw deck chairs off the Titanic, aware that the floating chairs might provide life boats for some of the people swimming in the cold water, forewent his place in one of the boats, giving it to another person instead, and then, when the Titanic was tip up, simply walked off the tip of the boat into the water, possibly the last survivor to leave the Titanic, in water where he survived over two hours of freezing cold water, to be pulled onto the overturned Collapsible Boat B with virtually no ill effects, and who lived to an age of 78. 

Slide 19: I prefer looking at mental distress from the lens of the Transdiagnostic model, but I also appreciate “spiral based models,” such as this one from my field of Education, which also has the added benefit of being presented in a Fibonacci sequence, thereby satisfying my educational and scientific nerd impulse for order.

Slide #21: The more you move up, the less force you use and the more power you use [sice]. Should that be re-worded, “the more power you gain?” Fascinating topic. My personal experience with this is as I progress to master’s level graduate studies and then to doctoral studies, that in some way, all of the studies became easier as the focus became less on what is already known, towards what is yet to be known. Thereby, the searching became more imminent since our topic of research had to be, of necessity, something novel. This is another slide where I wish there was an attribution so that I could fly down that particular rabbit hole. Or, maybe this one is original to you? If it is original to you, then I would suggest putting an attribution to yourself on the slide. 

Slide #22: “There are not a lot of happy billionaires.” Really? How would you know? Billionaires might be very happy with accumulation, otherwise they would not accrue such gross numbers without distributing them humanely. This reminds me of a small story I read about Rockefeller, arguably one of the meanest rich people under the sun (he had strikers shot! Tents with strikers and their families including children, were burned by his lackeys. We may never know their names.) But we know Rockefeller’s name, because at the age of approximately 50s, he was losing his hair completely, and had some diagnosis that prompted him to give away his wealth. He ended up giving to some good causes, the Rockefeller center, some Historically Black Universities such as Spelman College, and more. He lived to 97. There are other examples of persons who, with their great wealth, choose to donate and fund to good causes. I can list them but you probably know who they are. Less known are the people who suffered at the time during the accumulation, the people who were possibly robbed of dignity, decent working conditions, and more.

Slide #27: Anti-fragile, extremely interesting concept, I will have to think on that more.

Slide #28: Steve Jobs? Ok.

Overall, using Edward Tufte’s criteria for slides (complexity is good; people like it), the slides were good. I could see any one of the slides as the topic for a whole lecture in a college class, for example. 

The slides helped my thinking on this topic.

I have deliberately not shared too much of my own personal struggles since I glean that you are mostly interested in whether this is a marketable rollout.

Things I would clean up:

Attribute sources for all slides that include public figures or graphs that are not original.

Always end on the positive:

The thought questions got me thinking and I was able to write some personal reflections based on your questions. I appreciate the time and effort you are taking to put this metaphor and analysis across. I wish you all the best! I am learning from you as I learn from others around me.

Kindly,

PatienceImpatiens

Slide #16, should be “loaves” not “loaes” [don’t have editing power, please correct.]

@GlenM

Part 1: Questions

Where are you on the river right now – calm waters or rapids? 

Right now, …a braided stream—multiple channels moving at once. Some are clear and flowing, others tangled with driftwood. I’m learning to let each part have its pace.  I’m in a transitional bend—where the water slows just enough to notice the debris I’ve been carrying and the healing journey I have been on shedding that debris to make the path clear ahead. It’s not rapids, but it’s not rest either. It’s the in-between.  At the same time, I’m in a stretch of quiet water that feels deceptively still. Beneath the surface, there’s movement—subtle currents of change I haven’t fully named yet. There’s wisdom in the river—it’s showing me what I haven’t yet learned and what may be up ahead in the future as I navigate the different depths of the river.

What situation or feeling keeps “hooking” you emotionally? 

The feeling of being misunderstood. It hooks me because it echoes early moments where my inner world felt invisible. I’m practicing naming it gently, without needing to justify or explain.  The feeling of being “too much.” It hooks me because it echoes a time when my depth was misunderstood. I’m learning to honor my intensity as a gift, not a flaw.

The feeling of being needed but not seen. It hooks me because it mirrors old patterns of over-functioning. I’m learning to ask: “Is this mine to carry?”  The feeling of being responsible for others’ healing. It hooks me because it echoes old survival roles. I’m learning to trust that others have their own paddles.

What would it look like to trust the current a little more this week?

It would mean pausing before reacting. Letting silence speak. Letting the body lead. It would mean believing that the river knows something I don’t yet.

It looks like letting go of the need to explain myself. It looks like breathing through the discomfort of not being understood and trusting that the right people will feel me anyway.

Questions

1. Where are you on the river right now - calm waters or rapids?

Rapids, actually, I don’t like calm waters either. It’s so abstract to explain, but it’s fun and grows.

2. What kind of “rocks” or challenges have been showing up lately?

I think it’s a language, I used to be good at learning, even IELTS, but when I joined here, it was completely different. So many rocks around the world.

3. Checkin: Right now, my river feels like…

Right now, my river feels like a mystery. I don’t know what is waiting for me, but I’m preparing.

4. Think of a recent challenge. What might it be trying to teach you?

It taught me how to take a self care

5. List one rock (challenge) and rename it as a “teacher.”

“My rock: unrealistic fear → My teacher: believe”

6. What “Mr. 8” moment has recently interrupted your plans?

I don’t plan much. Mr. 8 can be anyone, anything.

7. Write one sentence that starts with “I didn’t plan to join here, but it taught me so many things I want and need.”

8. What situation or feeling keeps “hooking” you emotionally?

Hard to trust a close friend

9. Try the “forgiveness ladder”:

• 1) Name the feeling: Trust and ego issues
• 2) Recall the earliest memory it connects to: Lost something essential due to a dumb tolerance
• 3) Write one line of compassion for your younger self: I understand that I was young and lacked knowledge. I can gain my wisdom to make smart decisions at this time and in the future

10. Can you recall a time when life “leveled you up” through struggle?

After 2021: My awareness of everything arises

11. What new options or perspectives have opened up since then?

So many options and perspectives, especially braving

12. What would it look like to trust the current a little more this week?

Believe in what you do, listen carefully to others’ opinions

13. Fill this sentence: “Today I’m grateful for the current that carried me through my way right now, even though I didn’t expect it, and I feel better, so I choose to stay.”

Part 2: Closing Reflections:

1. hat was one key insight that stood out to you in this part? How can understanding it impact your life for the better?

The key insight for me is the new journey, of which I was previously unaware. It’s had a significant impact on my life, and I feel better.

2. What’s one “rock” or challenge you’re choosing to see as your teacher this week?

I’m practicing to like something I used to hate

@GlenM

I am really enjoying these slides and taking this journey of self-discovery. There's a wealth of insight to be gained here, so I am going to break my answers up into replies for easier reading and absorption!

Where are you on the river right now - calm waters or rapids? & What kind of “rocks” or challenges have been showing up lately?

The waters are relatively calm after several months of wild rapids. This year has been a rough ride, with hard-won rewards for hanging on and learning from the path. There have been many rocks I could not have foreseen coming, all representing unexpected problems that needed to be solved in order to move forward. 

Think of a recent challenge. What might it be trying to teach you?

It's trying to teach me new lessons in resilience, new healthy methods of coping (better systems) when things feel too overwhelming, and reminded me what it really means to be antifragile in the regular application of life.

What “Mr. 8” moment has recently interrupted your plans? (Write one sentence that starts with “I didn’t plan for ___, but it taught me ___.”)

I didn't plan for loss, but it taught me how to adapt and operate in its absence, and be redefined by my own resilience, not by the loss.

What situation or feeling keeps “hooking” you emotionally? (Try the “forgiveness ladder”: 1) Name the feeling. 2) Recall the earliest memory it connects to. 3) Write one line of compassion for your younger self.)

This particular slide (Releasing Past Weight to Navigate the Rapids) really resonated with me and made me think on everything that's still kind of "lingering" and tripping me up. On the forgiveness ladder, the prevalent feeling is inferiority/shame, and to my young self, I will say, "The things you've been told are weaknesses in you are actually underrated strengths the world will nee from you!"

Can you recall a time when life “leveled you up” through struggle?
"Pain = progress" is a very real belief to me. Much of my greatest achievements have come from being tested. I think it's easy to let complacency stagnate our progress and block opportunities - opportunities we might not even know exist without the path opening to us, and sometimes the path wasn't even there to begin with.

Think of it like a wildfire (a breakup, layoff, etc.) sweeps through and burns down the familiar forest. It's chaotic, terrifying, and feels like a total loss.

But then, for the first time, sunlight can hit the forest floor. The ash fertilizes the soil and entirely new kinds of growth can spring up - things that were impossible under the old, dark canopy. The new opportunity isn't one you "looked for." It's one that could only exist after the old path was obliterated.

What new options or perspectives have opened up since then?
Personal development i.e. lessons learned, new information = new power

What would it look like to trust the current a little more this week?
It would require patience, and from experience, I know it's 100% worth it every time.

"Today I’m grateful for the current that carried me through the parts I had to just hold on and trust."

And a bonus:

"Today I’m grateful for the current that carried me through to this exact moment, where I am meant to be, as the person I was meant to be, to serve our world with the gifts the river has given me."

@GlenM

• Where are you on the river right now - calm waters or rapids?

Right now, the river I am on is calm.

• What kind of “rocks” or challenges have been showing up lately?

There is some self-doubt about completing my goals. There is also some exhaustion with trying to complete it all.

• Check-in: Right now, my river feels like…

Right now, my river feels calm with slight waves. But the waves are sound. They are calming and relaxing.

• Think of a recent challenge. What might it be trying to teach you?

I haven't had too many recent challenges. 

• List one rock (challenge) and rename it as a “teacher.”

The rock: Struggling with goals.

The teacher: Resilience — teaching you how to keep going even when the path feels steep.

• “My rock: _struggling with goals______ → My teacher: _resilience______.”
• What “Mr. 8” moment has recently interrupted your plans?

The only times my plans get interrupted are when I am needed to do things I shouldn't have to do. 

• Write one sentence that starts with “I didn’t plan for ___, but it taught me ___.”

“I didn’t plan for all this pressure and self-doubt, but it taught me that I’m stronger and more resilient than I realized.”

• What situation or feeling keeps “hooking” you emotionally?

Worry that I will lose someone I care about.

• Try the “forgiveness ladder”: 1) Name the feeling. 2) Recall the earliest memory it connects to. 3) Write one line of compassion for your younger self.

Here’s an example of how the forgiveness ladder can look — you can use mine as a template or tweak it to fit your own truth:

1) Name the feeling:

“I feel scared that I’m not enough.”

2) Earliest memory it connects to: Remember, this is a safe space to explore your past with understanding and empathy.

“I remember being little and trying so hard to make everyone proud, afraid of disappointing anyone.”

3) One line of compassion for your younger self:

“You were just a kid who wanted to be loved and accepted — you deserved gentleness, not pressure.”

• Can you recall a time when life “leveled you up” through struggle?

Surviving periods of deep self-hate, anxiety, or BPD storms that made me feel like I was drowning — but I am still here.

Level-up: I gained emotional strength, insight into myself, and proved that I can survive what feels like the impossible.

• What new options or perspectives have opened up since then?

Here are a few gentle, realistic options or perspectives that often open up after a "level-up" like the ones I've been through.

• I've come to realize my resilience is stronger than I thought.

There's a newfound resilience in me — a testament to my ability to endure painful moments and continue forward.

• I've come to a deeper understanding of my emotions.

Now, I can identify triggers early, giving me the power to navigate my emotions rather than being swept away instantly.

• I know that pressure doesn't mean I am failing.

I've learned that struggling isn't a sign of weakness — it's a sign I am trying.

• I am starting to see that relationships don't fall apart just because someone else wants to shake them.

I have more clarity about who actually stands by me.

• I am slowly learning that my worth isn't tied to grades, performance, or pleasing everyone.

That shift is slight, but it's happening.

• I've discovered I can ask for help, and the world doesn't collapse.

That's a huge perspective change.

• Fill this sentence: “Today I’m grateful for the current that carried me through ___.”

Today I’m grateful for the current that carried me through moments when I doubted myself and felt overwhelmed.

Part 2: Closing Reflections: 

What was one key insight that stood out to you in this part? How can understanding it impact your life for the better?

I’ve been moving through tough moments, and each one has quietly taught me something that makes me stronger, not weaker.

How this can impact my life for the better:

• It shifts my story from “I’m barely hanging on” to “I’ve already proven I can survive hard things.”
• It builds self-trust, which means the next time something overwhelming hits, I will remember I have handled storms before.
• It softens self-blame, because I start seeing struggles as teachers, not evidence of failure.
• It helps me pause before spiraling, because now I know my reactions have roots — and that I can work with them, not against them.

• What’s one “rock” or challenge you’re choosing to see as your teacher this week?

The pressure and fear of not achieving my goals — I’m choosing to see it as my teacher in patience, self-trust, and learning to pace myself.

@GlenM

These are the questions which you will find. Answering them after pausing on the relevant section they appear will be helpful. We do recommend trying to answer all of the questions, but if you would like, you can choose to answer any 3 publicly! 

• Where are you on the river right now - calm waters or rapids?
  i would say pretty mild, i had my rapid share back a few months ago. but these days are going quite smoothly. 
• What kind of “rocks” or challenges have been showing up lately?
  the load of studies, some conflicts with roommates, as well as some job applications. 
• Checkin: Right now, my river feels like… a steady flow that is helping me move forward, despite the challenges. 
• Think of a recent challenge. What might it be trying to teach you?
  an stressor i have every week, and even before it begins or happens. it teaches me to live in the present and not worry this much about the things that hasn't even happened yet.
• List one rock (challenge) and rename it as a “teacher.”
• “My rock: _______ → My teacher: _______.”
  a steady part time job--> consistency and patience to find one
• What “Mr. 8” moment has recently interrupted your plans?
  that conflict with roommates, and some ongoing issues
• Write one sentence that starts with “I didn’t plan for ___, but it taught me ___.”
  i didn't plan to get into some conflicts with the ones i considered my friends after 4 years, but it taught me to be careful about my boundaries and stand up for myself at any time. 
• What situation or feeling keeps “hooking” you emotionally?
  a past relationship with someone, probably. 
• Try the “forgiveness ladder”: 1) Name the feeling. 2) Recall the earliest memory it connects to. 3) Write one line of compassion for your younger self.
  1. sadness, madness  2. it's a sad memory i don't want to share here  3. you did the best you could in that situation, it wasn't your fault. 
• Can you recall a time when life “leveled you up” through struggle?
  some family dramas we had quite a while ago.
• What new options or perspectives have opened up since then?
  i learnt to focus on myself and my own personal growth, rather than people pleasing. 
• What would it look like to trust the current a little more this week?
  i would live more in the present moment, and enjoy my week more than before.
• Fill this sentence: “Today I’m grateful for the current that carried me through ___.”
  --- through the tiredness of the week, that i pushed forward when i was feeling down, and didn't want to do the stuff i needed to do---

Part 2: Closing Reflections: 

• What was one key insight that stood out to you in this part? How can understanding it impact your life for the better?
  i really loved the observing self, that we are not our thoughts, or our emotions. and the technique which is written is pretty insightful! it can impact on my life to keep up and live through the storms of life.
• What’s one “rock” or challenge you’re choosing to see as your teacher this week?
  i would say keeping up to my healthy habits so--- the rock would be the desire to get back to some unhealthy ones! 
  
  thanks for the post. 

@GlenM

Part 2: Navigating My Own Kayak — Reflection

Where am I on the river right now — calm waters or rapids?

Mostly gentle current with occasional choppy pockets.

What kind of “rocks” or challenges have been showing up lately?

Perfectionism, overcommitting, and fear of disappointing people.

Check-in: Right now, my river feels like…

“…a steady glide with surprise crosswinds.”

Think of a recent challenge. What might it be trying to teach you?

A challenging conversation served as a reminder of the importance of setting boundaries early and speaking up, rather than over-explaining. This empowered me to take control of my interactions and assert my needs.

List one rock (challenge) and rename it as a “teacher.”

My fear of failure —a significant challenge —has become my teacher. It has taught me the value of making small, brave attempts, encouraging me to step out of my comfort zone and face my fears head-on.

What “Mr. 8” moment, a term I use to describe unexpected disruptions, has recently interrupted your plans?

“I didn’t plan for a deadline moving up by a week, but it taught me to prioritize essentials and ask for help sooner.”

What situation or feeling keeps “hooking” you emotionally?

Feeling overlooked.

Forgiveness ladder:

1. Feeling: hurt/deflated.
2. Earliest memory: not being picked for a group in school.
3. Compassion line: “Little me, you were always worthy—attention didn’t create your value.”
4. 
   

Can you recall a time when life “leveled you up” through struggle?

After a period of burnout, I learned the importance of pacing and self-care. This realization brought a sense of peace and reassurance, as I now understand that recovery is an integral part of productivity.

What new options or perspectives have opened up since then?

Scheduling rest first, saying “no” without apology, and measuring success by consistency rather than speed.

What would it look like to trust the current a little more this week?

Leave white space on my calendar, follow one intuitive nudge per day, and let one task be “good enough.”

Gratitude sentence:

“Today I’m grateful for the current that carried me through a wave of self-doubt and set me gently on a clearer shore.”

Part 2: Closing Reflections

One key insight that stood out:

“Rocks are teachers.” When I treat obstacles as lessons instead of proof that I’m failing, I move through them faster and with less shame. This shifts me from resistance to curiosity.

One rock I’m choosing to see as my teacher this week:

Procrastination → Teacher: break tasks into tiny first steps (2–5 minutes), then celebrate progress instead of perfection.

Right now, my river feels like the calm before the storm. Different sizes of rocks are up ahead, some will be unexpected, some may be visible on the surface. Stepping into an additional role in my career early next year, I'm expected to enter into some rocky rapids.

This additional role has caused some jealousy amongst a couple of other staff, as they have asked Management about it before but was not supported. My manager made the announcement to the Department three weeks ago. One of those two staff still refuses to have any interaction with me, and her straight face is making me hesitate in greeting her. 

My river had given me a rough ride, especially last year, when my Grandma suddenly passed, and losing an uncle four months after her. I was drowning, my life stopped. I couldn't function and didn't work for 8 months. Then, earlier this year, when the rapids slowly began to disperse, I began to look at my life differently, in a new lens. So, I went to apply to a regular part-time position at a different hospital (an hour drive away from home). It was then when I felt I'm flowing in the current, moving forward. Back then, my interview went really well, it was an hour long, but was hired on the spot 30 minutes into it. By the next week, I had been given my orientation dates. Two months after my official start date, Management comes to me to offer this new role, appointing me to become a Clinical Instructor. So, I will have six students next year, my first cohort with the College, to teach them every skill and technique that is needed to become professional workers in this field.

This is why, as I am preparing myself to take on this new role, I feel that there will be rocks ahead, and hidden rapid currents. I am trying to brace myself, keep my life jacket on, and I'll do my best to stay afloat and move with the current. Rocks approaching, I can choose a different route, or think of a way to not let it affect my progress. 

Thank you, @GlenM, this version of The River really got me thinking.