Part IV: Charting a Course for All of Us

@GlenM

• What brought you to 7 Cups? 

  I was browsing the internet for connections, I was looking at the wrong places until I found this platform.  I has meaning for me as it is helping me help others with their safe space to communicate. I was feeling unheard and this platform has removed my need to be herd because I feel herd. 

• When was a time you gave freely to someone else, and how did it make you feel?

  I used to give freely without wanting anything in return but I do admit always hoping that people would pay it forward.  For a couple of years I did not feel strong anymore to give... but I am managing to find some of my strengths back a little at a time. Remembering how good it feels to help others. 

• What 'surplus' do you bring to the 7 Cups community (e.g., a surplus of time, a specific lived experience, or simply a patient ear)? How does sharing it make you feel? All of the above and more ill let you spot them😉

• Think of your M’s (on or off 7 Cups). What are they? My Mentor… Map… My Mission… My Mountain Haven…

• Who is your hero? Who is someone who inspires you to paddle?

• Our collective mission is to scale compassion. What does 'scaling compassion' mean to you, and what's one small way you contribute to this big mission?

• What is a 'Big Rock' you want to prioritize? How do you make sure you schedule it first?

• What are some Distractions interrupting you?

• What are some Waste items taking over other quadrants that you can move today?

Part 4: Closing Reflections: 

• What's one insight from this part that really resonated with you?

• How will you carry this new insight forward to support yourself or others in our community?

@GlenM

What brought you to 7cups? 

That's the question I usually ask for my members and now it's my turn to answer. (⁠◕⁠ᴗ⁠◕⁠✿⁠)

@GlenM

• What brought you to 7 Cups? 

  was looking for a mental  health place online that was safe due to was leaving one that was unsafe for us  found this one and came here

• When was a time you gave freely to someone else, and how did it make you feel?

  we was online in a chat/forum a old friend had there was a teen that came in she was being trigger warning sexually abused by her dad she reported it over and over but due to her dad was a cop no one would help her we chatted with her a few years when she was 18yr a lot of us gave money to the owner of the chat/forum she then made plan to help the young lady get free so they was able to get her free then cross state live report everything to cops there and her dad was arrested  and  in the end went to prison

  this made us feel very good as she was free we was able to give her support until was able to help get her free she became very important to us we really just all the time we supported her want her free in end it happened we felt so much joy for her

• What 'surplus' do you bring to the 7 Cups community (e.g., a surplus of time, a specific lived experience, or simply a patient ear)? How does sharing it make you feel?

  we feel we bring years of experience due to use to own chat/forums  also have lived in abuse and overcame a lot did healing work still doing that too we have lots of time due to being disabled we not work and home a lot  we try to listen from the heart have compassion  for others

  sharing it make us feel it was worth all the suffering we had in our life as it now becomes a tool to give others hope to walk along side them in their healing too

• Think of your M’s (on or off 7 Cups). What are they? My Mentor… Map… My Mission… My Mountain Haven…

  for us we have many Ms as we have few mentors over the years that helped us supported us within our suffering they walked with us some had been in abuse and was out of it they showed us the way gave us time and supported 

  our mountain haven is our inside world it helps us relate to everyone inside have meeting inside their too it what helped us to work as a team

  our mission is to help others support and listen to them share parts of our life to give them hope and to help them to keep going on their healing journey by walking beside them 

• Who is your hero? Who is someone who inspires you to paddle?

  for us it a online friend who been abused up until she was like 18yr but she got our not without some things still effecting her physically  due to the years of medical neglected  and abuse in many forums she became a  social  worker later had to quite due to she had and is having many many surgeries  due to not getting the medical treatment as a child for RA  she overcame her abuse and used it to help others still does online to a few she our hero and inspired  us to paddle on even when we tried to give up on life she was there to support us  listen to us and just to paddle along side us for years now we known each-other 20 years online  we been their for each other a lot 

• Our collective mission is to scale compassion. What does 'scaling compassion' mean to you, and what's one small way you contribute to this big mission?

  to us it means to walk beside others as they walk in their healing journey it showing compassion from ones heart to others big part of it is listening being a active listener she they matter to us scaling compassion making a life with compassion  for self and others even them who have hurt you 

  we contribute to the bigger mission by not hiding our past but using it to show others compassion when they facing the things we have to relate to their suffering and give them hope too this we feel is important  due to we did not have this when young but was in our late 20's that one did this for us  still her compassion  changed our life we want to do same for others as in supporting listening sharing  our story with them so they can see there is away to heal and get free from were they be today 

• What is a 'Big Rock' you want to prioritize? How do you make sure you schedule it first?

  fear of emotions in our big rock as in past we was tuaght emotions were not to be and never to share emotions with others that crying was a weakness so we coming from emotional numbness into feeling and voicing our emotions this very hard rock for us 

  we trying each day to say what we feeling trying to identify  what emotions we having learning more about how to tell what emotion we feeling and being able to state that to others too

• What are some Distractions interrupting you?

  again fear is a big one when come to emotions, lack of support offline and online at times, being in pain 24/7 a big one too  the on going flashbacks and connecting the feeling to them so can work on healing all that not just parts of the past abuse 

• 
  

Part 4: Closing Reflections: 

• What's one insight from this part that really resonated with you?

  knowledge  give one faith to push through the suffering for us this is part of were our faith come in as in the Bible we use that knowledge to keep going as a map for life also within the Bible one see suffering and ones that overcame it so in  end gives hope and drive for us to do the same 

• How will you carry this new insight forward to support yourself or others in our community?

  we use this insight  when supporting others that the knowledge one has can be turned into giving others hope as we support them also to share any of the things we learned from our abuse as knowledge  can help one overcome many things in life  this come from many things in life from  books, internet, life experience  and from within so we try to share what we find out online and offline with others as one should never not be learning new things that helpful in life

@GlenM

@GlenM

Thank you for this opportunity, I have successfully reached at this part.

• What brought you to 7 Cups? 

  I started as member and I realised that how it will feel sitting on the other side, I honestly had no idea that I will become part of such a large supportive community. I wanted people able to be heard, be seen and know that their feelings are valid.

• When was a time you gave freely to someone else, and how did it make you feel?

  I was honestly present for my best friend from last two years who is going through divorce, that made me feel that I can be better at listening and it made me feel grounded. I felt that maybe I can help people because everyone just wants to be heard. 

• What 'surplus' do you bring to the 7 Cups community (e.g., a surplus of time, a specific lived experience, or simply a patient ear)? How does sharing it make you feel?

  I bring kindness, patience and compassion. I just know that showing up for people means a lot at times. 

• What is a 'Big Rock' you want to prioritize? How do you make sure you schedule it first?

  Being available to people emotionally without burning myself out or overwhelming myself with their stories. One conversatioin at a time and if it gets too much I always go to my LSR peers.

Part 4: Closing Reflections: 

• What's one insight from this part that really resonated with you?

  Supportiveness of this community, I considered myself introvert but here I feel I can talk about things publicly. 

• How will you carry this new insight forward to support yourself or others in our community?

  Honestly, just by doing my best and asking for help when required. 

@GlenM niceee

@GlenM 

When have I found someones compassion change my direction?

This was quite an important message I received from a teacher at school who told everyone “If you think you do not have a talent, being a good friend is a gift.”

This encouraged me to not be so swayed by academic achievements of which we cannot take with us when we die. 

As cliched as it sounds people will remember how you made them feel than what you did. 

How has something that once hurt you helped you become part of how you help others? 

I try not to judge based on appearance. If the person doesn’tlook friendly I will try to include them. I know first impressions matter a lot so don’t mistake someone looking grumpy as unfriendly or not friend material. 

Narrative story exercise:

Why did you not choose me to share your pain with? 

Am I part of the problem? 

Was my love not enough? 

How are you being so detached? 

Where are you now? 

Will I see you again? 

This exercise was futuristic and I would say there was quiet sobbing; not a loud experience. People sharing that I wasn't open enough or that it was not obvious that I need help. People asking how I died.  A bit grim - I would say the emotions maybe are sad, regret and guilt and hope. 

• List one event that looked unlucky but later helped you

Failing a course - I then utliised that skillset elsewhere. Maybe it would have looked more smart move to take it off my CV if I failed but I did not. It showed me I dont have to be dishonest in my experience even if it might look like a red flag or reflect incompetence. 

One nugget that stood out for you:

Concepts like the wounded healer among many others can resonate with many in how they have showed up in their life and how they dig deep into their purpose. This section was my favourite!

Think of a time someone truly "believed" in you. How did that feel? If comfortable, please share that story and try to capture how it changed you or impacted you? If that person was a chapter in your life. What would you call that chapter?

My dad had told me dont be afraid of failure. I felt relieved and soothed by this statement. I did not see it as minimising pain but that failure in itself is a teacher. I would call the chapter learning in disappointment, shame, and without comparison. See yourself as the person that can control their own reactions when the outcome isn’t favourable and when you are wrong apologise and lead with genuineness. Everyone wont like your genuineness but dont compromise it. 

Questions 

These are the questions that you will find. Answering them after pausing on the relevant section they appear will be helpful. We do recommend trying to answer all of the questions, but if you would like, you can choose to answer any 3 publicly! 

• What brought you to 7 Cups? 

I found cups from a university student in our careers development event. They shared about their positive experience and what they learnt and this became my first nugget of knowledge about 7 Cups. I am grateful to have been told about 7 Cups. :D

• When was a time you gave freely to someone else, and how did it make you feel?

I helped a pleasant elderly man who was a tourist find his way to a park. This made me feel optimistic as I don’t see myself as someone who is good with directions. I walked with him until we got to the park. It made me feel warm - I thought yes I’ve never had the privilege of knowing, spending time with my grandfather so in this way i’m helping someone of same age. 

• What 'surplus' do you bring to the 7 Cups community (e.g., a surplus of time, a specific lived experience, or simply a patient ear)? How does sharing it make you feel?

I will give the simple answer of being a sharing ear. I like to research to and explore communities on the site where I’ve interacted with pleasant people who company I have enjoyed. Sharing whilst there can be disagreements in the rarest of times leads for everyone in community with each other 100% 

• Think of your M’s (on or off 7 Cups). What are they? My Mentor… Map… My Mission… My Mountain Haven…

Mentor: My mentor is G.  Map: He has taught the value of leading in faith, compassion, love, truth. My mission: My mission is to seek clarity, understanding not for my own benefit but for others. My mountain haven: mountain havens for me are nature, any place that is tranquil like an open spaced park. Its about taking the view in and what you filter out. 

• Who is your hero? Who is someone who inspires you to paddle?

Ive seen Mario Kart film and if Princess Peach was a character in real life she would be my hero. She is strong, has nurturing qualities and really cares for her people. She is willing to take risks and sees the bigger picture. 

• Our collective mission is to scale compassion. What does 'scaling compassion' mean to you, and what's one small way you contribute to this big mission?

 In terms of scaling compassion, I see it as emotional intimacy in smaller groups. The people you are closest too you likely pick up on their traits - if you feel youre friend is wrong and if loyalty is very important to you, you might side with your friend - it would look compassionate to your friend but to the other person who is telling the truth it would not look compassionate. Scaling compassion can come with it biases and can be situational. From my experience in bigger groups social dynamics are more followed vs in smaller groups. 

I would hope I would be a voice that is fair and well-reasoned. 

• 
  

• What is a 'Big Rock' you want to prioritize? How do you make sure you schedule it first? I want to prioritise time. Time is a big factor that determines how all us humans go across, make choices, decisions. I will quote a character out of Daredevil and he says this “smart is making the right decisions at the right time.” So when I apply it in real life - Am I being slow to speak and quick to listen or is it other way around? 

• What are some Distractions interrupting you? Not everything needs to be dissected - you are not a surgeon Jas! 

• What are some Waste items taking over other quadrants that you can move today? 

Part 4: Closing Reflections: 

• What's one insight from this part that really resonated with you? Gandi and Rossevelt quote - what powerful messages from them both. About courage its either praised or rewarded - there is never neutrality when you go against conformity be it joining in a behaviour you know is negative. I notice in female groups out of that experience there most not all bond over gossip but if you deviate from that you will be the outcast if values of power and control are more important over authenticity in a group. 

• How will you carry this new insight forward to support yourself or others in our community?

I will continue to put in brackets when im doing a light hearted joke as I’ve conversed with people who have had personal experience with bullying. 

I will use peoples names more  when I talk to them - that is respectful and straightforward. It also erases confusion. 

If I think someone is being picked on I will not call it out in a group to shame the other person and give a reflective question which will encourage reflection 

(e.g. What do you consider a trigger for you? When this person said that , how did you feel? As a group what word or symbol should we use to show we were offended - Im feeling uncomfortable, What did you mean? Or This comment doesn't get a pass mark, ❎)

@GlenM

Questions 

These are the questions that you will find. Answering them after pausing on the relevant section they appear will be helpful. We do recommend trying to answer all of the questions, but if you would like, you can choose to answer any 3 publicly! 

• What brought you to 7 Cups? 

I found cups from a university student in our careers development event. They shared about their positive experience and what they learnt and this became my first nugget of knowledge about 7 Cups. I am grateful to have been told about 7 Cups. :D

• When was a time you gave freely to someone else, and how did it make you feel?

I helped a pleasant elderly man who was a tourist find his way to a park. This made me feel optimistic as I don’t see myself as someone who is good with directions. I walked with him until we got to the park. It made me feel warm - I thought yes I’ve never had the privilege of knowing, spending time with my grandfather so in this way i’m helping someone of same age. 

• What 'surplus' do you bring to the 7 Cups community (e.g., a surplus of time, a specific lived experience, or simply a patient ear)? How does sharing it make you feel?

I will give the simple answer of being a sharing ear. I like to research to and explore communities on the site where I’ve interacted with pleasant people who company I have enjoyed. Sharing whilst there can be disagreements in the rarest of times leads for everyone in community with each other 100% 

• Think of your M’s (on or off 7 Cups). What are they? My Mentor… Map… My Mission… My Mountain Haven…

Mentor: My mentor is G.  Map: He has taught the value of leading in faith, compassion, love, truth. My mission: My mission is to seek clarity, understanding not for my own benefit but for others. My mountain haven: mountain havens for me are nature, any place that is tranquil like an open spaced park. Its about taking the view in and what you filter out. 

• Who is your hero? Who is someone who inspires you to paddle?

Ive seen Mario Kart film and if Princess Peach was a character in real life she would be my hero. She is strong, has nurturing qualities and really cares for her people. She is willing to take risks and sees the bigger picture. 

• Our collective mission is to scale compassion. What does 'scaling compassion' mean to you, and what's one small way you contribute to this big mission?

 In terms of scaling compassion, I see it as emotional intimacy in smaller groups. The people you are closest too you likely pick up on their traits - if you feel youre friend is wrong and if loyalty is very important to you, you might side with your friend - it would look compassionate to your friend but to the other person who is telling the truth it would not look compassionate. Scaling compassion can come with it biases and can be situational. From my experience in bigger groups social dynamics are more followed vs in smaller groups. 

I would hope I would be a voice that is fair and well-reasoned. 

• 
  

• What is a 'Big Rock' you want to prioritize? How do you make sure you schedule it first? I want to prioritise time. Time is a big factor that determines how all us humans go across, make choices, decisions. I will quote a character out of Daredevil and he says this “smart is making the right decisions at the right time.” So when I apply it in real life - Am I being slow to speak and quick to listen or is it other way around? 

• What are some Distractions interrupting you? Not everything needs to be dissected - you are not a surgeon Jas! 

• What are some Waste items taking over other quadrants that you can move today? 

Part 4: Closing Reflections: 

• What's one insight from this part that really resonated with you? Gandi and Rossevelt quote - what powerful messages from them both. About courage its either praised or rewarded - there is never neutrality when you go against conformity be it joining in a behaviour you know is negative. I notice in female groups out of that experience there most not all bond over gossip but if you deviate from that you will be the outcast if values of power and control are more important over authenticity in a group. 

• How will you carry this new insight forward to support yourself or others in our community?

I will continue to put in brackets when im doing a light hearted joke as I’ve conversed with people who have had personal experience with bullying. 

I will use peoples names more  when I talk to them - that is respectful and straightforward. It also erases confusion. 

If I think someone is being picked on I will not call it out in a group to shame the other person and give a reflective question which will encourage reflection 

(e.g. What do you consider a trigger for you? When this person said that , how did you feel? As a group what word or symbol should we use to show we were offended - Im feeling uncomfortable, What did you mean? Or This comment doesn't get a pass mark

What brought me to 7cups?

I come to 7cups out of a need for friendship, validation and help with the big looming constant struggles I’ve been having, that the people closest to me cannot or will not help me with. The near constant hum of anxiety, while depression stacks weight after weight on my chest and shoulders. Panic threatens to buckle my knees and strangle me from breath. And all the while I’m expected to work, go to school, buy groceries, cook dinner, clean the house, stay on top of homework, pay bills, and somehow resist the urge to, ya know, in the process and sometimes it just doesn’t feel like anyone cares.

When was a time you gave freely to someone else and how did it make you feel?

Christmas was probably the last time I gave freely to someone else, if you don’t count what I give freely to loved ones every day, outside of my loved ones, I always try to freely offer an ear to listen or a shoulder to cry on. For Christmas, I gave my step daughter a DBT mental health journal with daily activities to help her learn how to process some of the deeper concepts in life. I thought this would be an exceptionally powerful tool for her because she was exposed to a lot of traumatic experiences while living with her other parent, before moving in with us.

What “surplus” do you bring to the 7cups community?

I bring a surplus of time, as I’m unemployed and realistically can only spend so much time searching for jobs, cleaning the house and doing school work, I need mental breaks and things to focus on in between so I don’t go insane myself. In my strong moments I’m able to leverage my own lived experiences to help others, when looking for a starting point to provide help, I can only reference my past experiences to make comparisons, as I have not lived through the infinite life experiences possible in the world. I do not believe in the fallacy of the “Self Made Man,” I believe everyone receives help in some way when they need it, so that is the energy I try to project into the world.

How does sharing it make you feel?

Good, I love using what I know to help people. If I could take the pain that I’ve experienced and channel the knowledge gained so others don’t have to feel as bad as I have.

Think of your “M’s”. What are they?

My Mentor: My mentor is fluidic and changes given a number of circumstances, I don’t think anyone is perfect, and I’ve always been weary of putting all my faith behind one person. I look up to those who use their knowledge to help others grow into better people, those who abide by their environment and don’t take nature for granted. I learn best from people who find value in the smallest, most defenseless creatures on earth, and those who will go out of their way to help them.

My Map: My map is an ambiguous space in my heart with an insatiable need to be filled with purpose. To find this purpose a journey is required but this journey does not require a map, it must be found without any of our human, physical senses; it must be found with love.

My Mission: I feel like my mission is to help people move forward through whatever is bottlenecking and holding them back in life, because over the past few months, that is the help I’ve been searching for without any luck.

My Mountain Haven: Wherever I can find friendship, community, compassion and love given freely without compensation or complaint.

Who is your Hero? Who is someone who inspires you to paddle?

I have many heroes. I have professors who inspire me to grow academically. I have family and friends to talk to and gain perspectives from, and I’ve had the fortune of meeting some pretty inspirational people in my life who have gifted me knowledge. I have all the information a library can provide; a building full of heroes.

What does “Scaling Compassion” mean to you, and what’s one small way you contribute to this big mission?

Scaling compassion would mean combining everyone’s available surpluses in life and using that combined passion to reinvest into our community. I contribute with my surplus into the community while using community tools to educate myself on how to better serve and support our community.

What is a “Big Rock” that you want to prioritize? How do you make sure you schedule it first?

Right now I’m concerned with trying to maintain school by clearing financial aid and scheduling hurdles. I’m also balancing all the responsibilities of a stay-at-home Dad by doing all the household chores, laundry, dishes, etc. I make sure we have a plan for dinner every night and go to the grocery store when necessary. I’m also trying to find a job and not having great luck at it, now that I’m in school, I’ve noticed it’s become an unexpected hurdle in my job hunt. The small town job market is challenging as all the work is over an hour away for thirteen dollars an hour. I’ve found a method of using multiple checklists, digitally and by hand to work my way through daily tasks.

What are some distractions interrupting you?

I get caught up in the hot item of the day or week sometimes. I have a school deadline that shifts all my time to school, then I’ll have a fight with my partner over her struggles paying the bills and how she’s under so much pressure because I can’t find work. So I’ll divert all my attention to job hunting by going through an infinite inbox of job applications, emails and working on a rotating list of resumes and resume formats. Eventually the house will get dirty, so my focus jumps to that; school becomes a priority, so I’ll jump on that. And the wheel grinds until I burn out and get yelled at for being immobile on the couch all day. I think the worst assault on my ego would be if my partner gets a second job before I can get anything at all, that might just break me.

What are some waste items taking over other quadrants that you can move today?

Typically I try to break-up my day a little better, but I’ve spent a lot of time writing and watching YouTube lately. I need to focus on job hunting but I’m stuck on the myriad of requirements I need to find in order to satisfy my specific needs. I don’t know if I truly have waste items as I have so many different priorities of the same importance, and I can’t keep them all in balance.

What are some waste items taking over other quadrants of my life?

I wish I could get my task paralysis under control, sometimes I just feel like I have so much to do that I shut down and can’t do anything. I catch myself disassociating when doing certain things. Time will fly by at times and I won’t notice it. I will be journaling or watching something on TV, and I will unexpectedly start daydreaming. Worse yet, I’ll have what I refer to as “Daymares” which are like daydreaming, but you’re trapped in a nightmare with your eyes open, until you snap out of it.

One inside from this part that resonated with you?

Looking at things from the perspective of different quadrants and how everyone fits into the bigger picture.

How will you carry this forward to support yourself and others in the community?

Perspective is a powerful gift because it enables you to make a fully educated decision on a matter with a three hundred sixty degree understanding of a given topic, person or position.

Thank you for reading, I believe this is my longest post to date 😆

@GlenM

• What brought you to 7 Cups? As a teen I started to be active in animal protection and always helped where I could. When I moved to a different place in the world, I lost this. After some time, I started to feel useless, had no meaning in life. For me meaning means contributing to make the world a better place. 

• When was a time you gave freely to someone else, and how did it make you feel?

  I try to give whenever I can, but one situation stayed in my mind. Someone was not well and sitting on the ground, so I sat next to them and just listened. They told me that no one before sat on the ground with them, people only spoke down to them (standing). It hurt my heart to hear this and I had to fight with my tears, but it made me feel good that I sat with them as well.

• What 'surplus' do you bring to the 7 Cups community (e.g., a surplus of time, a specific lived experience, or simply a patient ear)? How does sharing it make you feel?

  I offer the time I have available, and it feels good to be there for others and I hope it feels good for them too.