Resolve Conflicts
Goal
To effectively resolve conflicts.
Skills for Solving Conflicts with Others (Fulton State Hospital, p. 33)
- Describe Clearly and specifically state what the problem is
- Phrase the problem in terms of behaviors that are currently occurring or not occurring.
- Break complex problems down into smaller problems-dealing with them one at a time.
- Make certain that both people agree on the statement of the problem and are willing to discuss it.
- Express Clarify why the issue is important to you
- Provide your understanding of the issues involved and why it’s important to you.
- Explain what your desires are; do not offer specific solutions at this time.
- Assert Discuss possible solutions
- Stay solution-oriented; your goal is not to defend yourself, decide who is right or wrong.
- Your goal is to decide how to do things differently in the future.
- If you tend to get focused on a single or a limited number of alternatives, consider brainstorming (generating a variety of possible solutions).
Negotiate Decide on a solution that is agreeable to both of you
- If you cannot find a solution which greatly pleases both partners, suggest a compromise solution.
- State your solution in clear, specific terms.
- After agreeing on a solution, have one partner restate the solution.
- Do not accept a solution that you don’t intend to follow through with.
- Do not accept a solution which you believe will make you resentful.
- Trial Period Decide on a trial period to implement the solution
- Allow for several attempts of the new solution.
- Review the solution at the end of the trial period.
Share & Listen Exercise
Instructions: Resolve a conflict this week using the five skills for solving conflicts with others (describe, express, assert, negotiate, and trial period). Then, reflect on these questions:
- What went well?
- What did not go well?
- Which of the five skills did you find most difficult and why?
- What specifically will you do differently the next time you’re in a similar situation?