Decrease Emotional Suffering

Goal

To decrease emotional suffering by letting go and changing negative emotions.

Letting Go of Emotional Suffering (Fulton State Hospital, p. 57)

Be mindful of your current emotions in order to let go of emotional suffering. Follow these steps:

1. Observe your emotion. Note its presence, step back, and get unstuck from the emotion.
2. Experience your emotion fully. View your emotion as a wave coming and going. Try not to block the emotion nor push it away. Just be a witness to your emotion.
3. Remember that you are not your emotion. Do not act on the sensation of urgency. Describe your emotion by saying, “I have the feeling of ________”, rather than, “I am ________.”
4. Notice other feelings that you have at the same time you feel the strong emotion.
5. Practice respecting and loving your emotion. Practice willingness and radical acceptance.

Change Negative Emotions (Fulton State Hospital, p. 58)

Now that you know how to become more aware of your emotions, work on trying to change your negative emotions by acting opposite of what you’re feeling. If your emotion is fear, for example, do what you are afraid of doing over and over and over again. Approach events, places, tasks, activities, and people you are afraid of. Do things to give yourself a sense of control and mastery. When feeling overwhelmed, make a list of small steps or tasks you can do, and complete the first thing on the list.

If your emotion is guilt or shame and it is justified-meaning that the emotion fits your wise mind values-repair the transgression, commit to avoiding the mistake in the future, accept the consequences gracefully, and let it go. When your guilt or shame is unjustified-meaning that the emotion does not fit your wise mind values-avoid doing what makes you feel guilty or ashamed over and over again. Replace these behaviors with positive behaviors that align with your values.

If your emotion is sadness or depression, get active and do things that make you feel competent and self-confident. If your emotion is anger, gently avoid the person you are angry with rather than attacking, and avoid dwelling on thoughts about that person. Do something nice rather than mean. Imagine sympathy and empathy for the other person rather than blame.

Learn more about changing negative emotions by watching the following video: