Break up with your boyfriend because he did not want to help you pay bills and do better with himself?
Last Updated: 09/24/2019 at 6:22pm
Evelyn Coker, MSW, LCSW
Clinical Social Work/Therapist
I am down to earth and enjoy working with all clients. I have a special passion to support teen girls and women. My work is nonjudgmental and provides a safe space to grow.
Top Rated Answers
At the end of the day, you have to do what is best for you. Your peace, your joy, your life. If you feel like he isnt motivated enough and that is holding you back, reflect a little on why that frustrates you.
Personally if I was dating someone that did not want to help with the bills, we'd either be sorting it out quick smart or breaking up. A relationship is a partnership, you make bills together then you need to pay them together, you get shot down, I go down to, you bounce back so do I. It is a team effort and to me if you are not reliable enough to even help out with paying a few bills, how will we ever have a future together? How will we ever marry or raise children if you cannot help?
Put the boyfriend aside for a moment. Think only of yourself at this moment in time. Are you doing everything you can to lead a healthy, positive life? Do you feel motivated to change your life always for the better? Well, the boyfriend should feel the same about his own life. If he doesn't, that's not your fault. It's not your responsibility. Love is one of the best things in the whole world, and all of us will do everything we can to have love in our lives. But you can't change him, or anyone else, only you. If your love for him isn't motivating him to do the best he can for himself, don't blame yourself. He's capable of all the things you are. It's easy to fall in love with someone's potential. But really, all you have is what you see right here and now. How long are you willing to see if he'll grow or change? You're worth everything, all by yourself. I hope you can truly believe in yourself. Then you'll have the answers.
When you are with someone sharing the same household it is normal to split the bills, clean together etc. If your goal is to have a reliable partner for a long term, you have to set boundaries and tell him that you are not ok with him not helping with the bills. If he wants to support you and be a real man, he has to make a decision. But if he decides not to help, then you know that he is not reliable and you cannot build a family in the future with a man like that. just know that there are lots of men out there and someone can treat you better.
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