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Why are we fighting over small and stupid things?

197 Answers
Last Updated: 02/20/2022 at 7:17pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
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Maryna Svitasheva, PhD. RP

Licensed Professional Counselor

Psychotherapy I provide is based on a dialog and your active intention to look for a solution with the therapist's assistance

Top Rated Answers
July 6th, 2016 4:31am
There are so many reasons why people fight over trivial things. I've found that usually when something else is going negatively in a person's life, they tend to take it out in other ways. They displace their emotions. Sometimes dealing with that particular situation becomes too difficult or frustrating and the way to vent would be to argue over things that don't matter whatsoever. On the other end of the spectrum, maybe there was just some miscommunication taking place. Either way, communication is always key in order to figure out what is wrong (what the problem/issue is) and how best to fix it!
July 21st, 2016 7:09am
because we care for each other and our heart is sensitive to the behaviours of those who we love since we have given them the power to hurt us
July 20th, 2016 7:05am
You fight over the small things because you never expressed how you felt, so you pent up anger or irritation on the small things. And then you explode.
September 19th, 2016 11:51pm
because those "small and stupid things" could mean a lot to one person but mean something completely different to another person.
July 17th, 2016 6:09pm
Because we often fight to be RIGHT, but in truth, there is really no right and wrong. So we are causing suffering on ourselves fighting over small and stupid things. However, there is really no small and stupid things as well. Everything is based on perspective. ;)
August 28th, 2016 2:48pm
Many people expect perfection. The world is not perfect. We must understand that. If you feel that things aren't going as you want it to be, it us best to talk to someone about it.
August 18th, 2016 12:08am
Sometimes the small and stupid things aren't as small or stupid to the other party. Other times there are underlying issues being triggered by the smaller arguments.
July 14th, 2016 1:39pm
Patience and taking time time to understand each other may be all that you need. Disagreements are bound to happen and as a matter of fact, if handled well, it makes you to know more about yourselves. Disagreements occur between siblings as well not to talk of if you are from different backgrounds or homes. But the key is asking yourselves, "do you want this to work?" Then you have to learn how to sit together and talk issues out so "this" can really work. Thank you.
July 15th, 2016 1:52pm
Because these small stupid things don t always appear to us as small and stupid and for the most part they re a result of something thats been building up in our mind for so long..and that small stupid thing is only the needle that pops the balloon.
July 28th, 2016 8:51am
Sounds like you are both under stress and outside pressures. Communication is key. That and a good nights rest.
October 24th, 2016 8:05am
I think we fight over small things because it's hard for us to show and tell someone how we actually feel and what's really bugging us. So we take our bottled up emotions and express it through small trivial things.
October 8th, 2017 5:22pm
Maybe because they are symbolic of a bigger issue to you. Maybe you feel like you don't have enough control in life (could be due to someone somewhere else - like your boss at work) and you feel like you want to exert your power at home, to feel at least somewhat in control of something.
July 8th, 2016 1:18pm
When you learn someone, you see their bright sides, and then, the more you are with that person, the more you see little flaws. Those flaws are like surprises, so this is why you will tend to overreact to those things. I think if you are arguing on small and stupid things, it's better than arguing on BIG things hehe.
July 23rd, 2016 6:34pm
There are many reason the little stuff could be getting to you. You could just be feeling stressed or there is a big issue in the relationship that you're avoiding so use little things as an outlet
August 11th, 2016 2:28pm
There's some inner conflict between you and said person. You two need to sit down and talk things out.
February 14th, 2018 10:23pm
Little things usually are signs of bigger problems. They are small signals of a problematic areas that we need to work on. Usually we get these subtle indicators from the Universe and if ignored, then they either start building up or growing in size. For better or worse, we usually only focus on something if it is deeply disturbing us. Therefore the signs grow in size until we notice them, often starting off as little things. And sooner or later we shall look at them and at what they are actually trying to tell us.
May 9th, 2018 7:41am
Because we don't see the world in perspective and don't (want to) see the larger picture. We are confined by our own mind, and the confines gets smaller and smaller every time we miss on the larger picture, which happens pretty often. My thought? Expand the horizons of thinking, because the world is a big place, and life is too short to worry about small things.
July 16th, 2016 3:12am
Because we, as humans, basically live for doing so. It's unfortunate and I hope that as a race we can find a way to change this.
August 21st, 2016 1:24am
People can get really distressed with life sometimes, routine and general issues we face day to day can get the better of some people, the best thing to do it to take a step back and consider what they are going through, everyone has their own issues, you can talk to them and tell them how you feel and that you're tired of fighting over small things, tell them that you're there and willing to help with whatever issues they might have, but most of all, give them space, and don't be invasive, they might just need some time to themselves :D
August 5th, 2016 6:33pm
Because that's the way we vent over something. It can be anything like not being answered to on the phone, or something else. Then we go all guns blazin' over something not worth the time. It's just about a bit of realization, that we are losing control, and take a few minutes off... sip a mojito or something and come back fresh to reduce such mishaps by a major degree.
September 1st, 2016 12:38pm
You might be fighting with the one you love because you have so much similarities and likes. You might also be going through a phase where the both of you needs a little space!
May 10th, 2018 7:36am
We fight over small and stupid things because it means that we care so much about things no matter how small or big of a deal it is. It can be a good thing or bad thing, depend on you.
August 7th, 2016 10:44pm
Sometimes anxiety and stress is more about the little things in life. Things tend to implode in the smaller things to hide the fact that there are bigger things on the picture that we must face.
May 21st, 2017 8:27pm
Define small and stupid things? What is small and stupid to one life form's pov, maybe a HUGE obstacle to another life form. You cannot define what someone else is feeling or thinking unless they say so or evidence through actions or what they said is given. So knowing that would prevent a lot of small stupid fights and give something called empathy and compassion. The other reason might be because we all can be small and stupid sometimes. So we can do dumb things simply without thinking, or because we didn't know. So checking yourself first to understand why the life form is reacting to you in a specific way, helps to eliminate another portion of the petty fights that could happen. Save your energy for the more important fights to come, the fight for love and life. Thank you very much .
July 30th, 2016 1:49pm
Ummmm ... I think that small and stupid things are not that much small and stupid for the person you are fighting
August 28th, 2016 2:10am
You both or one of you might have something else thats bothering you which leads to you guys taking it out on eachother. I know exactly where you are coming from and you both just need to talk about what bothers you and what you both think would make the fighting stop
May 31st, 2018 4:56pm
Sometimes fighting over small things mean you care towards each other and the small things. it can be stressful, but it is best not to worry about them too much.
July 15th, 2016 2:43am
Because we all think we need to be right, and so we all will try and force our opinion home to prove it
July 29th, 2016 11:43am
I believe because we are agitated because of some bigger underlying the surface and that has to be dealt with. if not, then it might be due to us not being aware of ourselves and get carried away without thinking of how others might interpret it.
September 9th, 2016 9:07am
Because there's likely a bigger issue that was never resolved, and all of the small and stupid things just add to the pile. The issue might not even be between you, it might be work-related, or family issues!