Break up is losing a person you invested your time, heart and mind in. So, it will definitely make you mad. First step in helping madness is to replace negative energy by positive energy. In this particular case, you talk about him being mentally ill. Either you can walk away and keep blaming him for everything. That is definitely going to fill you with negativity although it will help you avoid guilt. But what if you go to him and help him get the medical attention that he needs. Is it gonna be tough? Certainly! But the amount of satisfaction it is gonna give you would make it absolutely worth it.
It certainly depends on the individual. Usually, these things are supposed to take time. But i have seen many, including my friends move on very quickly.
In my case it has been almost 3 years now and I am still struggling and fighting to move on. It is probably one of the reasons for which I am diagnosed with Depression. But still, the intensity of these struggling will get lower as the time passes by. But at the same time it can also be the other way around also.
The mistakes I had done were sticking to the same plans and dreams me and my ex had set in the past while she has moved on. It is always better to have someone to vent about all these and slowly setting new plans and focus areas. It is difficult though. But it is necessary to remember that there is no easy way also. And do not try these so called shortcut ways like moving into another relationship and all real quickly thinking it would help because most times it ends up in another hear break.
These situations can be used favourably also, like to identify the flaws and faults in us or to improve spiritually. And after all realising that they have the freedom to leave you is also important. Letting them go as they wish is the best thing to do for us and them.
And silly things like burning or dumping all the monuments can also be helpful. The fact is it is o painful so I had kept all that all these years but a few days ago may sister pushed me to do all that and helped me with it also. It can be disturbing for sometime but slowly it cools our mind.
The difficult thing will be for those who were so dependent on their ex, like in my case. All I can say to you is find a good listener/friend here in 7 cups to help you with.
And all the best everyone. You are not alone.
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November 16th, 2015 10:27am
By knowing that mental illness is a disease....a sickness like high bp or heart disease that cannot be seen, and most of the time is misdiagnosed, and not properly treated. A relationship breakup is never just one partner's fault. Never.
It is extremely difficult to deal with the mental illness of a loved one, especially of a partner. Mental illness presents an enormous burden in a relationship that should be lifted by those trained to do so. To move past your anger, you need to accept that he had issues beyond your capacity to provide aid. You couldn't provide the needed help, and that is no reflection of you, rather a reflection of the immensity of his issue. Accept that it is over, and hope that he is able to find the professional help that he needs.
The first and last step for you to get over something or someone is acceptance. Knowing that the problem or the situation is there is different from accepting it. Instead of trying to make things go away which mostly leads to over thinking, why don't you try for once accept that it happened and its done.
Understand that it was something out of your control. You did everything you could to make things work and it was enough, but some times things don't always go exactly how you plan, and that is okay! You will be okay!
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April 4th, 2015 12:16pm
find it in your heart to forgive him. understand that it wasn't his fault and that mental illness puts forth many challenges in a relationship. this one just wasnt meant to be