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I'm 21 and my girl friend broke up with me mid January on my birthday. Even though she said I did nothing wrong, I feel like I was incredibly toxic towards her, and dragged her down. How do I forgive myself?

4 Answers
Last Updated: 12/14/2020 at 12:08am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Brenda Munroe, LCSW

Clinical Social Work/Therapist

As a Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW), I have worked with individuals of all ages. My work with clients is supportive, interactive and nonjudgmental.

Top Rated Answers
June 24th, 2019 11:19pm
First of all sorry to hear about the break up. You say you feel like you where toxic to the relationships I think the first path to forgiving yourself and moving on is to reflect on what happened during the relationship and truly understand What happened. I feel like then only you can take the steps to forgiving yourself and moving on. That in itself will also take some time. Although forging oneself will be the most important part because if you don’t forgive yourself you will be stuck in the past and won’t be able to move on happily. All the best. Peter
May 22nd, 2018 1:20pm
Forgiving yourself for hurting another isn't simple, agreed. Maybe start with working on becoming a better you, and figuring out what you could do in the future to prevent the same thing from happening, and then try again?
June 18th, 2018 9:19am
Always know that you gave your 110% in the relationship..It might not have been the best 110% but u did your best anyways..Whether the relationship works out or not is beyond your control..All you can do is learn from the mistakes and make yourself better in whatever you do..
December 14th, 2020 12:08am
I think you are already making the right steps towards recovery. You are recognizing that it was toxic and you made some mistakes. Owning up to them and becoming the you that you want to be is the best way to forgive yourself. All we can do as humans is move on and there are several different ways we can. You can choose how you would like to move on from here but the past can't be changed. Owning up and moving on, in my opinion, is the best forgiveness you can give to other and yourself. We all make mistakes and we all go through things, you can and you will get past this!