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When do the memories start to go away?

30 Answers
Last Updated: 12/07/2020 at 5:10am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United Kingdom
Moderated by

Tara Davis, Doctorate in Counselling Psychology


I have worked successfully with a wide range of difficulties. Nothing is more important than developing a warm, compassionate relationship with someone you can trust

Top Rated Answers
April 11th, 2015 11:03am
They usually don't go away just like a physical manner, they eventually get pushed back by the other memories and/or specific feelings or even by the limations of mind... the pace of getting pushed back decreases over time thus most of the time they will be somewhere in your mind forever, somehow with a less intensity.
October 11th, 2015 10:25pm
Memories aren't really ever forgotten, but the feelings associated with them can be forgotten. How you feel about a certain memory dictates its significance. Maybe you won't quite forget every memory, but you will look at them with less importance as time progresses.
November 3rd, 2015 2:38pm
i guess memories always stay in our mind and heart but u could always forget the person not the memories
December 15th, 2015 10:21am
memories are apart of us and will always be there. the thing is we need to accept what happened and be thankful for the good memories we shared with others. be happy for the good times and create more with other ppl around us. this will make the pain of memories fade.
December 21st, 2015 8:12am
When you want them to, when you consciously try to get them off your head, when you're putting in effort to get distracted - eventually, with a bit of patience, they will. :)
February 22nd, 2015 7:58am
They never truly go away. But instead you just learn to carry on with them like a brick in your pocket. and eventually you don't even feel them with you anymore.
February 22nd, 2015 6:31pm
From my experience memories never go away its just a matter of dealing with them. If you come to terms with the fact that these memories were a part of your life and they can't change the present or the future. If you learn to accept these memories were part of your life whether they were good or bad you then can move on and reflect.
April 16th, 2015 10:07pm
To me the memories never go away, instead they are replaced. Repalcede we fonder, greater, and happier memories. The ones I wont ever regret.
June 2nd, 2015 11:28am
Memories start to go away when you let them go. They only stay as long as you hold on to them. Try to look to the future - there's so many good things ahead of you ! :)
June 29th, 2015 4:38pm
I'm sorry,but memories can't just disappear,What you can do is learn to cope with them,i know it's hard,but it's better to do that then to escape from your past.
June 29th, 2015 10:09pm
They will never completely go away, but in time you will forget. Time heals all wounds, and the recovery capacity of humans is amazing!
July 6th, 2015 8:15pm
History, despite its wrenching pain, cannot be unlived, but if faced with courage, need not be lived again. Memories of past events are not the problem; the problem is our emotional reactions to them. so the question is "Will These Reactions Ever Go Away?" It is absolutely possible for the memories to appear as an occasional whisper in your mind without any associated pain or trauma. Whether or not this will happen for you is not for me to say. What I do know for sure is that every time you recognize and welcome your reactions, you are a little more free of them. If you consistently see them all the way through, they eventually diminish. :)
July 21st, 2015 2:45pm
Please do not expect your memories to simply vanish. They will fade, however. One day you will realize, "wow, I haven't thought about that in years!"
September 15th, 2015 4:03am
Embracing them to change the future will make them manageable. Memories are what make us who we are, without them we wouldn't be where we are today.
September 22nd, 2015 12:06pm
It fluctuates wildly from person to person. It can be days, to even years. The most important thing you should remember is that this is you, and you take things at your own pace. Don't force yourself to get over someone when you're not ready, try as hard as possible to distract yourself from the memories - and good luck!
September 22nd, 2015 6:44pm
Memories don't go away, but as time passes we have new experiences and knowledge which help us to learn to live with them.
December 3rd, 2015 7:23pm
Memories start to go away when you see him with someone else or you get with someone else
December 8th, 2015 11:59pm
Some memories never go away as much as you want them to. At some point sometimes you just have to learn to live with them and understand what triggers them back so you can try and avoid those things.
December 21st, 2015 8:19am
I don't think they do, to be honest. If they are for a person who mattered, they won't. If the person didn't matter, when you see how beautiful this world is, then those memories go away.
December 22nd, 2015 2:41am
When you find closure and come to realize things are what they are in the present and can't change it back to the past anymore
January 25th, 2016 3:47am
whenever you decide it's time to let go and move on, it's all your choice. if you're not ready to move on or if your still holding onto something maybe it's for the best
June 14th, 2016 12:33pm
I think when you decide to let go of the past and start focusing on the future or living in the moment , you will get over an individual.
August 1st, 2016 3:10am
When we stop thinking of them, memories seem to be inert.... They stay lifeless. But bad memories are hard to forget, as our minds keep on bringing them over and over again.
September 12th, 2016 2:11pm
When you start creating new ones that are so powerful to over power your old ones. So make sure to create great memories in future :)
January 3rd, 2017 6:14pm
memories never really go away they just become faded and less in the daya to day live we have as time goes by. We are always reminded sooner or later by a trigger.
August 21st, 2017 9:20pm
Memories can't really go away, but you can like numb them? I don't know if that's the best word to describe it, but just like make new ones, make happy ones, then those old memories would disappear somewhere in the back of your head and you'll "forget" about them
October 31st, 2017 12:50am
First, everyday will be a bad day. Then you'll find that a few good days will pop up here and there. And without even realizing it, you will find yourself having more good days than bad days. But then there will also be the small moments ... when you can't sleep at night and you remember when insomnia hits, he always used to be there, and somehow you found his fingers intertwined into yours, and you'll remember that insomnia wasn't so bad without him around. Or, you'll find a candy wrapper tucked into the back of the fridge when cleaning, and it'll remind you of how he always misses the garbage can and leaves wrapper droppings everywhere. The thing is, these reminders will happen, and it would be almost foolish to expect that they wouldn't. But then, one day, you'll find a freckled faced young man who wears pants that's slightly too big and socks that never match whom kisses just a little bit too long and hugs a little bit tighter, and you'll realize that all the memories you had with him are now being replaced with this new man because he makes you feel even better ... so much better that you've forgotten about him.
May 22nd, 2018 8:13am
Depending on how much you cared for the person, you won't forget the memories. The memories will remind you on what you need to do to better yourself or find someone better. The good memories will not be forgotten, it shows that you appreciate the good that was in the relationship
October 9th, 2018 4:02am
It doesn't but you can trick your mind to make it believe that it's gone. We all have three types of mind : Conscious, Subconscious & Unconscious. We only have the control over our conscious part of mind, the thoughts are generated in our subconscious mind, whatever we do daily like brushing our teeth, driving etc gets programed in our subconscious i.e. repeated action is wired in our subconscious, so whenever you over think or dwell on your memories of past, after its repeated action it gets wired into your subconscious so to change the thought process you can indulge yourself into ur hobbies and passions and work harder on them and get busy in their thoughts soon your subconscious will start generating thoughts about your goals and passions and in away your mind will forget about your memories, it will still be there but your mind but you won't dwell on them and you will be in a brighter headspace 🙂
December 7th, 2020 5:10am
Unfortunately that is not how memories work, they probably will never go away. You just need to learn to process what you are feeling, deal with the emotions that are tied to that memory, and figure out what the best way to move on for you is. Eventually it will just be another memory, it will fade to the background with the rest of your past. It is a journey, and it won't be easy. Some people take years of counselling to be able to process what they are feeling. It is a very personal thing, and the only person that can help you, is you. If you need counselling, you need to make that choice. If you can process the memory on your own, you need to choose to do that. Every person is different, and everyone deals with their things differently. Its up to you to figure out what the best plan for you and your journey is.