Why is my ex girlfriend still searching for attention?
Last Updated: 04/27/2021 at 10:26am
Brenda King, PsyD
I treat life changes, women’s issues, and issues of aging using evidence-based treatments with healthy doses of warmth, empathy and humor to enhance healing and growth.
Top Rated Answers
To a degree this will depend on how things ended. People naturally don't want to give up on the emotional work they've put into a relationship - there's also a fear of being alone that kicks in when a relationship ends.
Either because she only got attention from you and nobody else and now that you're broken up she doesn't really know what to do with herself so she comes back to you time and time again because you're the only one giving her something that she can't get anywhere else. That or she's probably still in love with you and doesn't know what to do about it. Perhaps she just wants to be friends because she feels safe with you and feels like you have a deeper understanding of each other, so she turns to you because you're her safe place.
It is very common for ex girlfriend to continue hoping that you will change you mind after a break up. Therefore, she might reach out to you in hopes that you change your mind and are reminded of the bond that you used to have. Please be very clear to her that the relationship is over. It doesn't mean that you don't appreciate her or like being in contact with her, of course. But if you want to help her move on, you should really insist on the fact that your decision is final and there will be no going back. This will avoid misunderstandings. I think that you cannot be friends with your ex until you feel truly happy when they meet someone else. It is rarely the case right after a break up for both people to want the other person to find love again.
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