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Why was I both the bully and the bullied?

15 Answers
Last Updated: 03/06/2018 at 1:09am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Jennifer Fritz, LMSW, PhD

Clinical Social Work/Therapist

Day to day life can be stressful and overwhelming and my strength is assisting my clients in a supportive, empowering and practical manner.

Top Rated Answers
May 8th, 2015 3:00pm
It's a cycle, much like how those who were abused at home tend to become abusers. It's up to you to break the cycle.
August 10th, 2015 8:17am
You are beautiful and resilient and amazing. You bend and bounce back. But life happens. Sometimes people don't know how to handle a beautiful thing so they break it. That's why you were bullied, because you were misunderstood and so were they. And because you were misunderstood you misunderstood others who were like you. You thought it was okay to break something beautiful, because it happened to you too. You want them to feel how you felt. Even though it a wrong thing to do.
March 4th, 2015 8:00pm
You were probably bullied then that led you to subconsciously or consciously bully others. What you need to do is work on dealing with you being bullied then you will be aware of your bullying others. Maybe that's how you cope with being bullied.
May 3rd, 2015 4:57pm
Being the bully is something that a lot of people have a hard time coming to reality with, most of us only see us as the bullied. Being the bully is something all of us have been at one time or another, whether it was laughing at someone or making a joke about someone else, that is still bullying whether we see it that way or not. Being the bullied is something else that happens to everyone, we are all bullied about something whether it's our hair or clothes or smile. It is in the human way to be both a bully and the bullied.
June 5th, 2015 9:39am
because maybe bulling was your way of dealing with being bullied. when someone makes you feel small and worthless, you want to make someone feel small or worthless so you feel like you have some control. it happens to the best of us, it doesn't mean your a bad person.
October 27th, 2015 10:51am
Alfred Adler came with this theory of inferiority complex. He claimed that a person with inferiority complex will either become aggressive (playground bully) or the person will withdrawn himself from company/social circle and become a loner. These two are just different means of coping with the same issue.
May 3rd, 2016 10:29am
Maybe because a victim of bullying thinks he/she cannot do anything to solve her problems, so she becomes a bully by releasing her pain and anger on someone else just to make him/herself feel better.
May 3rd, 2016 10:07pm
Bullying will make you angry so you take it out on someone else
May 10th, 2016 8:04pm
Being bullied hurts. Many who have been bullied know all too much about it. I try not to bully others because I know what its like but sometimes I feel strongly against someone and will say something or think something due to my belief. Never to hurt someone even though they may feel like that is the reason.
May 12th, 2016 12:19pm
Bullying can be a vicious cycle based around self esteem. If you were bullied, you might think less of yourself because of the way you were treated. Some victims, in an attempt to make themselves feel more validated and powerful, exert control over someone else by bullying them. Both bullies and the bullied often have one thing in common: low self esteem. It is important to understand this way of thinking so that you can overcome it. If you are bullying and were bullied before, it is helpful to think of how you felt in the past when you were the victim. I hope this helps someone.
July 26th, 2016 2:07am
Bullying might have led you to bully. There is a strong positive correlation between those who were bullied and those who bully.
August 15th, 2016 5:29am
With today's society sometimes kids are the bully without even noticing it. Do your bully may not have even noticed he/she was hurting you.
July 31st, 2017 8:49pm
I was always bullied for my looks. Because of this, I felt insecure, making me seem like prey. Vulnerable prey. My only way to cope was to belittle others. Pick on other kids. Soon, I realized this isn't right. They hadn't done anything to me... So what if I was bullied? So what if I'm "ugly"? That's an opinion, not a fact. These people could hurt me, but hurting others doesn't make me a better person than them. I decided to treat others with kindness after that...
August 6th, 2017 11:33pm
Without knowing your entire situation it is impossible to say, only you can determine what happened. Here are a few things to consider regarding bullying. Bullies often target people who they feel are weaker than themselves, and are not likely to defend themselves or fight back (either physically or verbally). When the bully chooses a victim they get a sense of power and control over the other person. Quite often when a person bullies someone else, they too are a victim or some form of bullying in their life. It could be at home (parental neglect, abuse, being picked on by a sibling, etc.). Having that power over someone else gives the bully a sense of control, something that they likely feel they are missing in another area.
March 6th, 2018 1:09am
You can be both either you got hurt from an experience from a bully and than you feel bad for it so to feel better you target it upon other people when you get an advantage.