How to get my parents to stand up for me against bullies instead of apologizing to avoid any confrontation?

60 Answers
Last Updated: 04/06/2019 at 12:03am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Collin McShirley, LMFT

Marriage & Family Therapist

I love helping people overcome challenges with food, depression, and anxiety. My work with clients is nonjudgement, supportive, and kind.

Top Rated Answers
Flawlessinsanity21
June 30th, 2016 6:13pm
Talk to them. Sit down and have a serious talk with them about how you're feeling and how their simple apologies make you feel. Tell them you want them to stand up for you and have your back. Just tell them what you're feeling.
Anonymous
July 10th, 2016 7:41am
Well, you should respectfully and calmly tell your parents how you feel. Instead of saying, “You never listen to me!” or “You’re a weakling!” or “You never face problems!” or “You’re not brave enough!” you should try not to focus on saying you so much and saying what they did wrong. Keep saying I and me and tell them what they can do right. For example, say, “My feelings are hurt about the bully, and I think that you should tell the bullies’ parents about this. This is a problem that is bothering me and I think I might need your help. Can you take calm, nonphysical action?” Try to keep it kind and personal. From my new GIRLHOOD GUIDE book, "Girlhood Guide: Feelings Fly."
allyswift
July 17th, 2016 8:14am
By being open with them , How this is really effecting u and telling them that no body can help them
PerryMason
August 4th, 2016 4:52pm
Try explaining to your parents that apologizing doesn't do much, and that bullying really affects you and hurts you.
GavinT
March 29th, 2017 2:37pm
Be honest with your parents about what is going on with your bully and make it clear that you are asking for their help and not just a simple comforting word or gesture. Keep in mind that like you, they're human, and that it may be difficult for them to know exactly what to do in your situation. But if you are there to help each other over come your bully, you're going to be on the right foot!
Anonymous
July 31st, 2016 7:50pm
So, you're feeling like your parents don't stand up for you instead they avoid confrontation at all costs. Starting a discussion letting them know how you feel may help.
Anonymous
August 5th, 2016 2:58am
I think you should have a sit down explain how these bullies are making you feel and what you think their confrontation would do to stop them.
AllLoveNoHate
August 7th, 2016 8:50pm
If you know the bully's parents name you could tell it to your parents (they can call them, Message them, or simply meet up to discuss whats going on between there children)
Anonymous
August 12th, 2016 2:26am
Show them you are emotional or set an example, stand up for bullying and show them the way and they shall follow.
balancedlibra53263
August 13th, 2016 3:35am
You have to tell it to your parents so that they will able to stand up for you against the bullies..
awesomeSoul43
August 14th, 2016 9:08am
Explain to them how you fell and show them one video from youtube about bullying it may help them understand more and help alot more then usual
Grangs
August 14th, 2016 10:53am
Tell them exactly your side of the story, do not change anything, and explain how this is really hurting you.
JasmineScent
August 20th, 2016 10:09am
Your parents love you. If you tell them how it affects you or simply that you are being bullied they will certainly stand up for you
Tali
August 21st, 2016 2:47pm
Maybe you could try having a talk to your parents about it. The best thing when we can't get the message through is to try direct communication. You can tell them about why it is important to you that they stand up for you, how the way they act now makes you feel (betrayed? unsafe? offended? left alone? whatever emotions/thoughts come up when it happens), how you would want them to act instead and how that would make you feel. If they care about you they at minimum will hear you out, at maximum they would adjust their actions. However, it is also important to remember that in most cases in life, we can't make other people change... So a good step would also be to simultaneously try learning how to stand up for yourself, too! You can do it. And maybe you can ask your parents to help you on the way to getting stronger and realizing that no one has a right to bully you.
Naicoro
August 25th, 2016 4:33am
you can try and tell or even show them that that is not working and it won't stop the bullies , it even might boost the bullies and that would make your parents helping the bullies .
sdmvs
August 31st, 2016 1:32pm
First able, you should have a personal moment with them and explain how you feel, violence just gets more violence, violence is never the solution but I believe in justice too, you should tell them that you want justice
Anonymous
September 1st, 2016 9:09am
Tell them everything you can about bullying and how it affect people so they can help spread the word of bullying can harm a kids life at school and it should be stopped
shinystars26
September 9th, 2016 8:56pm
Confrontations are not good. If people is bullying you, you should try to tell them to stop. If they don't, then you can talk to someone at school and look for some help.
generousEnergy13
September 21st, 2016 6:17pm
Tell your parents what's going on. Sit them down and have a mature convsation. Tell them you're being bullied to the point where it's unbearable
Chipoltleh
October 2nd, 2016 6:06pm
Normally, I wouldn't recommend letting your parents stand up for you, but asking your parents to meet the bully's parents isn't a bad idea. They can have a discussion about what's going on in school, and the bullying might stop.
peacefulButterfly23
October 13th, 2016 4:25pm
You can talk to friends and family for support, surround yourself with positive thoughts and people and remember you don't deserve to be bullied. If you're in school reaching out for an authority is great as they can help you and keep you safe. You're wonderful!
Anonymous
October 30th, 2016 10:24am
Explain to them how much it really hurts you what they are doing and how desperate you are for a change. Maybe if they know all your emotions and feelings they will take your issue seriously and will do everything in their power to help you.
Anonymous
November 10th, 2016 1:07pm
Maybe you can let them know what's been happening with you and ask them to observe it and then ask them what action they'd want to take or how they'd want you to respond to bullying. Though usually bullying is based on the victim's reaction and not response, so once you can figure which action of yours is a response and which is a reaction, you n your parents can help diffuse the situation! hope it helped! :)
originalbraveheart63
November 24th, 2016 2:24pm
You should have a serious conversation with them about how it is affecting you and ask them about doing something in this case.
sereneStrawberry33
February 26th, 2017 1:49pm
I think it's very sad your parents aren't standing up for you. Parents are supposed to protect children from bullies. Perhaps tell them how you feel, that you feel a bit betrayed and unprotected when they won't stand up for you. However, you have not specified who is bullying you and what kind of bullying it is. Is it possible that the bullies will be dangerous if your parents confront them, and that this may make it even more unsafe for you? I think the best thing to do would be to find an online Forum or group for bullying victims. Also, perhaps you could talk to somebody at your school, like a teacher or psychologist, who might understand your situation. If the first person you talk to doesn't get it or is a jerk, just keep telling people.
Anonymous
March 12th, 2017 3:31am
Not all adults are equipped with all the skills they need in life. I am so sorry to hear that your parents dont stick up for you. Maybe let them know how you feel or give them ideas on what they can do or say to stick up for you. Not sure if that can work in your situation, as people listen to whom they will. And sometimes parents dont listen well to their kids. If your parents won't help find another adult you trust that will, like an aunt, uncle, teacher or coach.
Anonymous
March 15th, 2017 5:09am
Tell them how I feel getting bullied and telling them to speak to the school or getting me out of the school
unaayrus
March 16th, 2017 7:14pm
You can talk to them about how you dont lile what they're doing. If not talk then you can write to them that they should complain rather than apologise.
paleblueeyes
May 3rd, 2017 1:07am
I can relate to that... I think the most important thing is to be honest with them. Let them know how you really feel and how much it hurts to be bullied. Avoiding confrontation is always the easiest path, but it takes understanding and empathy to someone's pain to find the strength to back them up.
politeBike14
June 8th, 2017 8:39am
You can tell your parents that you have not done anything wrong to make those people behave like that towards you. Besides, you can tell your parents that you really need their support to stand up against and protect yourself from those people. You can also tell them that if they apologize to avoid confrontations, the situation will most likely get worse for you, because those bullies are going to think that your parents are at their side.