My friend is always negative towards me. What do I do?
264 Answers
Last Updated: 12/15/2021 at 3:18pm
Moderated by
Elaine Kish, LMSW
Clinical Social Work/Therapist
My goal is to treat clients with respect and compassion. I am a supportive, strengths-based therapist with experience in treating mood disorders, grief, and trauma.
Top Rated Answers
People sometimes feel that they need to be better than others to feel good about themselves. They have issues to work on. However, when people use us to feel better about themselves, they usually make us feel worse in the process. It takes a lot of strength to put up with that kind of behavior and cutting someone off takes even more strength. It is scary to let go of a person who you think is your friend, but you need to understand that you come first. You are the most important person in your life. If your 'friend' is always negative towards you, they are not really your friend, and you need to prioritize whose feelings you care more about, and whose mental health comes first.
Anonymous
August 31st, 2016 8:11am
If your friend is always negative towards you and makes you feel bad about the things you do this is called a toxic friend in most cases they act like they are there to support you but in reality they bring you down with their negative energy,these sort of friends are not good for you and you need to leave them because it only gets worse.I once told one of my toxic friends that she was very negative towards me and she manipulated me into thinking it was my fault,it might be hard but leave them.
Talk to them and ask what's wrong and why they are so negative to you. Maybe they are mad at you for a reason you don't know. Wishing you all the best!
Anonymous
July 3rd, 2016 8:46pm
Leave that friend. Having negativity in your life not only brings them down, but it personally brings you down. Always find happy things in your life. Even though negativity is always all around us, find things around that that makes you happy.
Anonymous
August 19th, 2016 11:31am
Confront. accept or walk away. If there is some kind of misunderstanding between you two talk it out From my experience though, I believe the best's to cut them away. I know it sounds ridiculous, I mean, if it were so easy to cut people away, you wouldn't even be thinking twice but people don't really change. Some people don't really care about you half as much as you do about them so all we get from being with them is this depressing heaviness, anxiety about where you're going wrong, I say sit back and think about it. You'll know what to do the best and if the answer you do find sounds hard, do it. Keep strong :)
Anonymous
July 24th, 2016 11:05pm
You need to stop being friends with that friend or find out what is troubling your friend and making them negative.
You could say something like if youre always going to be this negative towards me we cant hang out anymore. Be willing to walk away from people who bring you down
Try to make them understand that you don't need tat kind of negativity in your life. Be soft tho. If they don't understand, as difficult as it is, let the, go.
During life you want to surround yourself around people are positive and if you are a friend who is negative I would not be friends with them. Obviously they don't want you to be the best emotionally!
Anonymous
October 23rd, 2016 2:00pm
Tell her how she makes you feel. Then, watch if she changes her attitude towards you and if she doesn't cut her off immediately. Negativity is something that you should not want in your life
Consider distancing yourself away from the negativity so you will no longer be in or around the negative environment.
Care. You care for them. You never know what's going on in their life unless they tell you. That's why you care for them. You have to know that something may be going on in their life that caused them to treat you this way. Gaining their trust by caring may help them open up to you so that you can talk to them, and help them out. Remember, it's not always your fault if they are negative towards you.
Anonymous
July 14th, 2016 1:03am
Those arent consider friends. You want to surround yourself with positive people. The more positive the more you will feel happy and great,
Friends are people that should be your shoulder to try on so, if your friend is always being negative maybe consider the fact maybe you need new friends. Now, before ending a friendship try expressing your feelings using "I" messages. If they still want to be negative just walk away from them and if they want you back in their life then they will come find you. You can't change them and make them like you all you can do is be the best person you can be.
well i my opinion... leave them...
you don't need toxic people in your life.... let then go or tell them to stop...
they are not your real friends if they do that to and you should not hang around them if they treat you like that real friend woud not do that
Anonymous
September 8th, 2016 4:35pm
That is a toxic friend. No one should have to put up with negative behaviors. Remove yourself from the connection and suggest to your friend to get some help.
If a"friend" is always negative i dont consider them a true friend. A friend build up up does not push you down. its a two way relationship. A Friend that put me down i would never talk to again
Anonymous
March 6th, 2017 7:23am
Friends like this are known as toxic friends. Sometimes it is best for you to not have toxic people in your life, so maybe splitting ways is the answer. Or maybe you guys just need a break? Your friend might not realize that they are always being so negative, so a break and you letting them know what's bothering you about your friendship may help them change their behavior. If they don't change, then that shows that they don't really care about your friendship enough and you should probably end the friendship even though it's always sad to stop being friends with somebody. Sometimes it has to be done to make you happy. Your happiness matters over anybody else's.
Try talking to them, and let them know how you feel, but do not accuse them. Make sure that you aren't around anyone you don't trust and tell them exactly what's up. I'd advise against doing it on social media as they can use what you said against you. If they are being really abusive and awful, tell them and walk away, ther's not much you can do. Stay positive x
It doesn't sound like your friend is very supportive. If you feel able to, it may be a good idea to talk to your friend and explain that you find her very negative towards you.
Try and turn her negativity against her and turn it into something positive agree with her and turn whatever she/he said to a positive way
Try and ask them if they are ok, maybe they are being negative because they are unhappy about something. Maybe they disagree with something you are doing and are trying to be supportive. If they are simply being rude and unfairly negative and you have checked if they are ok, ask them why they ar treating you this way.
You can confront your friend and ask then why they are so negative towards you. Friends should be supportive and understanding. If you feel uncomfortable or stressed around them, maybe look for another friend. Find positivity within yourself and try not to let other people's negativity get you down.
If your friends arent supportive of you then they are not your friends. You should surround yourself with friends that support you.
Anonymous
September 10th, 2016 3:49am
Confront your friend and tell them how you feel about their negative attitude and impact towards you. Don't feel afraid to talk about your problems.
You should always let go of negativity. If one is continuously negative towards you, they may have issues in regards to themselves and the only way to express is to take it out on the closest people around
Anonymous
November 5th, 2016 10:10pm
If someone, especially a friends, is being rude to you or treating you not like how you want to be treated, you should remove yourself from that relationship immediately. If you do feel like the friendship could work out and you want it to, then talk to him/her about this. If they continue to reflect negativity, you can make the choice to remove yourself. If they are willing to make a change, you can give the friendship another try.
It depends how long it's been going on for, I'd say. If that just is sort-of her personality and it's dragging you down, perhaps it's time to cut off ties. You could always talk to your friend and tell them how you feel. Maybe they don't even realize how they are coming across! If they are a good friend, they will be able to reach some sort of conclusion that you both feel good about. If they deny being negative towards you, or if you think they would have an even more negative reaction if you confronted them about their behavior, maybe it's time to just let the relationship fade away.
My friends also have a history of being negative to me. I tried to stick it out, but things got to tough so I had to distance myself from them, this got us all to realize how important our friendship is to each other so we stayed friends, but aren't as close. Maybe you could pull them individually to the side and talk to them about it. However, if this friendship becomes to toxic you should probably end it.
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