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How do I know if I'm a bully?

185 Answers
Last Updated: 06/09/2022 at 9:02pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Lindsay Scheinerman, MA, LPC

Licensed Professional Counselor

My work with clients is to help them recognize and build on their strengths to find solutions for the conflicts presented in their lives.

Top Rated Answers
July 26th, 2016 2:30am
You know you're a bully if you're antagonistic towards an individual that doesn't deserve it........
August 4th, 2016 4:51pm
Whenever you feel the desire to hurt someone, or make them feel bad, it's a warning sign already. if you experience pleasure from being mean to someone, that's a warning sign, absolutely.
July 2nd, 2016 8:06am
Consider asking the people around you on how they feel about you. Also ask yourself if your intentionally hurting people physically or emotionally on purpose.
June 29th, 2016 12:30pm
I was once told that " If you have to think about's wrong." If before you commit to acting a certain way towards someone or saying a certain thing towards someone or something and you feel something pausing in your mind wondering if this is right or wrong then there's probably a good chance that it's wrong. When we love others and when we show kindness and compassion it's an organic thing, it's something that flows naturally. It's important to remember that no one is born a bully and no one is here to judge you and you are SO brave for being here and asking these questions.
August 11th, 2016 9:20pm
Bullies are people who repeatedly emotionally mentally or physically abuse and/or harass one or more people
July 8th, 2016 2:42am
When the feeling of hurting someone makes you feel better. When you speak to someone consistently in a manner you wouldn't like to be talked to/
February 1st, 2018 4:54pm
Bullies are people that "attack" others for their own enjoyment. "Attacking" could be in forms of verbal abuse or physical abuse. Physical abuse would be punching, kicking, smacking and are all easy forms to tell whether you're a bully or not. Verbal abuse could be spreading rumors, insulting the person whether they are present or not, threatening the person in any way, lowering the person's self-esteem, and taking their happiness away which are all a lot harder to tell whether or not you're a bully.
September 2nd, 2016 2:58am
if people let you know or if you make fun of people on purpose of you just say something to them would hurt their feelings
April 7th, 2018 6:22pm
Everybody has a bad day, occasionally saying or doing something rude or inconsiderate to others, sometimes intentionally in the heat of the moment or sometimes unintentionally. But if you find yourself mistreating someone or several others on a regular basis, with full intention of hurting them, and especially if you derive some benefit or enjoyment from it, then yes, you may be practicing bullying behavior. If so, it's worth doing some soul-searching to find the cause for this behavior and try to stop. If you ask this question, its worth learning more about the whole topic of bullying, both from the standpoint of the bullied, as well as the bully himself/herself.
June 14th, 2018 5:06am
To know if you are a bully, you need to ask yourself two questions: (1) Do you regularly put people down? (2) Do you have some sort of personal issue that is affecting you or has affected you in the past? A bully is someone who regularly puts other people down, be it through name-calling, attacks on other people's character, attacks on others' wardrobes or personal life, physical aggression, or other mean-spirited attacks on others. "Bully" does not, however, mean a "bad" person. People bully for a myriad of reasons. Sometimes bullies have a lot going on at home and release their pent-up anger on others. Sometimes bullies don't like themselves, so they put other people down so that they feel better about themselves. Sometimes bullies are just teens with too much hormones that they don't know what to do with. Sometimes it's a combination of these factors and many more. The best way to tell whether you are a bully is to look into yourself and ask yourself questions like, "Who have I hurt lately?" "Did they say they were hurt?" "Why did I do that?" "Is there anything happening in my life to make me lash out at others?" "How do I feel about myself?" "Have I been bullied before, and do I seek revenge?"
July 3rd, 2016 11:31pm
Well do you pick on other people or tease them? Have you ever hurt somebody else's feelings or made them cry? If so them it sounds like you are but I won't judge you on that because there's an underlying reason that you do that. And most of the time it's to feel better about yourself.
July 26th, 2016 5:38am
Reevaluate yourself. Are you physically, emotionally, mentally intentionally hurting someone? If the answer is yes than it is time to learn how to not repeat the mistakes. Sometimes feedback from trustworthy, honest opinions can help. Because it is different from a person looking from the outside than within.
July 10th, 2016 8:12am
If you notice those around you reacting to your comments and actions in a defensive or offended manner. If you notice others bending to your will or avoiding your presence.
July 10th, 2016 6:52pm
The definition of bully is: a person who uses strength or power to harm or intimidate those who are weaker. I would say if you notice yourself having this characteristic that you may be partaking in bullying.
July 29th, 2016 11:53am
if you're hurting people and humiliating them for no proper and just reason then you are probably a bully, also if you feel as thought harming or annoying people is like an instinct, second hand.
May 19th, 2018 7:56am
When you constantly harass a person into a bad state, I have bullied someone before and I knew it was bullying because of how I would insult her. It is all a matter of your intention to hurt someone mentally or psychically
July 8th, 2016 5:37pm
Having been bullied for at least 9 years I can tell you that often people don't know that they are a bully. It begins with a simple need to feel stronger than someone else. To overcome situations at home or to gain attention. You will only know if you are a bully if you are mindful of yourself, and what you feel when you encounter others, if you feel the need to gain superiority over them and belittling them is the only way you can gain that feeling, then you are a bully.
July 14th, 2016 9:44am
I think by asking this question - you feel like you might be one. Guilt is a good indicator that you are a bully, if you are truly a kind compassionate person on the inside. Its never too late to change.
July 15th, 2016 12:08am
If you enjoy disturbing others and giving them a hard time...if you feel insecure with urself and want to transfer those feelings to others and bring them down just for the sake of it.
July 21st, 2016 4:05pm
If you say bad things about people to other people, if you repeatedly say bad things to the person, if you look at the person dirty, the usual disrespect, or if you spread false rumours around about the person, then you are a bully!
July 21st, 2016 11:41pm
You know if you are a bully if you hurt, make fun of, beat up etc. someone intentionally for your enjoyment or to seem more cool or to even get want you want.
July 22nd, 2016 3:58pm
People try to avoid you or talking to you. Another thing is when you laugh too hard to someone's mistakes or flaws even when other people are not finding it funny anymore.
July 22nd, 2016 11:40pm
Think about the last interaction you had with a person who you think you could be bullying and ask yourself what emotion they might have been feeling when the interaction ended. If you think they were feeling shame, insecurity, fear, or worthlessness when they left the interaction and you believe it may be from something you said or did you might be bullying them.
July 29th, 2016 5:02pm
If you think you're joking around about someone and they seem like they don't want to be near you, then they probably take the joke as more offensive then as a joke.
July 31st, 2016 12:40pm
Ask yourself: If someone is telling me I am hurting them and I should stop, do I still continue doing the thing that is hurting them? If yes, why do I do it? That's the only thing that will get you to the right answer.
August 3rd, 2016 4:34am
The easiest way to tell is by asking yourself if you make others feel sad, insecure or afraid... put yourself in their shoe.
August 3rd, 2016 1:48pm
Are you making fun of others for no reason? that's a good sign. Work harder at being nice, even if it kills you inside better not to make enemies with everyone
August 4th, 2016 12:32am
hi , if care and have lots of friends , then you are not a bully . if you ever trouble any one then you are a bully
August 4th, 2016 8:36pm
If you are repeatedly trying to hurt/upset someone who is weaker than you, than by definition you are a bully.
August 5th, 2016 2:17pm
How do you treat your close friends? Is it the same when you talk or react with anybody else? If not then those can be a sign of a bully