How do you effectively confront people who are spreading negative rumors about you?

75 Answers.
Last Updated: 01/23/2018 at 12:10am
Top Rated Answers
July 14th, 2015 8:27am

It may hurt you to know that false rumors about you are being told behind your back, but dont let it affect you! Everytime you see this person, Smile! let them know that it doesnt bother you one bit, cause if you react In an ungrounded manner, theyve won and theyve accomplished what they set out for! This person is a loser for saying false things behind your back and people are gonna see him for the loser he truly is and they'll stop listening to him, stop caring and forget the rumors he spread.. Just learn not to care and be yourself

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January 21st, 2018 8:10pm

Looking for answers on the internet...we've all been there. I just want you to know you don't have to figure this out on your own. I know this might not be something you want to discuss with your friends or family, but if you join this site you can get free, anonymous support from trained listeners and a huge support community. Nobody is here to judge.

January 21st, 2015 5:52pm

Do it in a respectful way, even if your angry or annoyed about the situation, because approaching the that conversation with "attitude" or an angry tone will make the situation way worse. Be clear and firm about what you want to say to this person.

May 2nd, 2015 6:15pm

"Hi [insert name of rumour-spreading person], You told everyone that [insert rumour] and it's not true. If you do not correct your mistake then I shall report you to a higher authority. I understand that mistakes are made and I'm willing to forgive you for it, but you must fix the mistake you made to the best of your ability. Thank you."

April 1st, 2015 1:00am

Maybe more powerful than confronting rumors is not being affected by them in the first place. Sometimes when you give attention to a preposterous rumor, you validate it and give it power. If you can rise above it and be productive, happy, and totally unconcerned with the rumors, you are getting the best possible result. Put the energy you are spending on being concerned with the rumors toward something you are passionate about. Show the rumor starters that they don't bother you in the slightest. You are too good for their nonsense. You deserve all the best and you don't have to let anyone stop you from getting what you deserve.

October 6th, 2016 7:02pm

Ignore the negativity in your life. Ignore haters, it'll drive them crazy. Hold your head up high and smile. Focus on you and your happiness.

March 18th, 2015 8:48pm

I would go up to the person spreading negative rumors and ask them, "I'm not sure if this is you, but why are you spreading these rumors? What can I do for you that will make you stop?" It should help, and if not, go speak to the school counselor or talk to another adult. If they don't take charge, its up to you. This is what I have done in the past due to school bullying.

June 5th, 2015 12:10am

The best thing to do is to ignore the negative rumours. Only those who are gullible enough to believe something about someone they don't even know aren't worth worrying about. Those who know you will stand by you no matter the negative rumours that people may be spreading. It may be hard but rising to it may back the rumours depending on what they are. Be the better person and shrug it off. You'll get admiration from others and they will see that you're the one being mature.

June 23rd, 2015 3:55pm

Don't be afraid . Always held your head high those rumours won't last longer but your attitude will.

September 8th, 2015 7:44pm

You just gotta come right out and say it, it avoids making everything worse by you letting it continue on. Make it clear to everyone that it is just a rumor and that it is false, and come right to the person starting it stating that you know they started it and ask why they did

May 8th, 2015 10:59am

Go to higher classmen and tell them. They have no reason to touch nor talk about me like that. It is very unacceptable.

September 30th, 2016 3:24am

People who spread negative rumors about you are not worth your time. The best thing you can do is hold your head up, confront them with a smile. They will hate the fact they couldn´t get under your skin.

February 19th, 2015 3:29am

Assertively. Take some time, calm yourself, practice in your mind what you would say to this person. We want to describe the problem to them (so there is no confusion or guessing needed), tell them how it makes you feel (using "I" statements, not being accusatory), telling them what you would like to change, and how you'll feel after the change. For example, "Hi John, I was talking to Mary today and she said that you were telling a bunch of people in the staff room that I'm the one who stinks up the bathroom all the time by not flushing. I feel really embarrassed, and upset, because it isn't true. In the future, if you think I'm adding unpleasant odors to the office, I would really appreciate it if you would come speak with me, and just ask me first if I did, and then if you would like me to change something, let me know then. I'd feel a lot better, knowing that you would approach me first before talking to others." Stinky poo in the bathroom might not be your situation, but we can use those step to speak assertively with others. Remember to have confident body language, this is important to you, therefore it is important.

June 17th, 2015 5:02pm

If this is happening in a school setting, ask a teacher or supervisor to help. If this is happening anywhere else, let the rumors slide off your back like "water off a duck", as my father would say. If these rumors are hurting you physically or setting you up for bullying, ask a parent or guardian to help.

November 23rd, 2015 2:30am

You can effectively confront people who are spreading rumors about you by politely ignoring those people. Denying and accepting rumors is never necessary. As long as you and the relevant people in your life know the truth.

August 25th, 2015 2:47pm

You ignore them or report it to an adult, if you are a child. If you are an adult, things canbe harder. If it is a work place that the person is spreading rumors, then you report it to the head of admission. Hope this helped!

September 16th, 2016 10:55pm

By proving that they are wrong.People understands better when they realize their mistakes themselves

October 1st, 2016 12:02am

Explain to them how they are making you feel and ask them why they are doing it, try to understand their perspective and also get them to see your perspective. Dispell the rumors as well!

November 27th, 2016 5:17pm

I would speak to them alone and find out what they are upset about and erase any false rumors about me.

December 2nd, 2016 10:21am

Spreading negative rumours is something a lot of people deal with. But, one way to effectively deal with rumours being spread about you is to personally talk to them. Maybe make them understand what it's like to feel the way you feel. If it comes down to it, correct them and tell them that these rumours are wrong and that that's not how things are in your life so it would be nice to stop spreading these things. The key to effectively stopping them is to make them understand what it would be like if they were in your place. Who knows though, they might be doing it because someone else hurt them in the past c:

December 16th, 2016 6:03pm

Ask to meet them in a safe and relaxed environment. If you are comfortable to do so meet alone, if not ask a close friend to come with you, but ask them to remain quiet and impartial throughout the conversation. Explain that you have an issue with them that you would like to resolve. Emphasise that you are wanting to put an end to it all, and that you are open to talk over why they might have a problem with you. .

April 3rd, 2015 6:23pm

Approach the person when they are not around friends and by themselves. Explain how you do not appreciate how they have been talking about someone. If this is happening in a professional or school setting, you can also speak with a person of higher regard or a counselor that can take appropriate action for you.

September 14th, 2016 5:23am

Ask them why they're doing it ? If there was something you've done wrong ? Talk to them about it politely.

October 12th, 2016 6:48pm

Confront them and ask them to stop because you know that they are the ones spreading the negative rumors, and it makes you upset. If they don't stop, report them to a teacher, guidance counselor, or trusted adult.

October 13th, 2016 4:48pm

By staying mature, and by understanding that they are only people too, with complex stuff going on. I believe I can talk it out with them.

October 14th, 2016 2:04am

I would confront them by talking to them about what it is they are saying and telling them to stop nicely, then I would tell a few people the truth because I know that that rumour would spread then.

November 11th, 2016 7:48pm

I let it be. Let them spread negative rumors about me. I will just move on to my own life and enjoy myself. Why would I stress about something that is not real? And know myself better. :) I have friends too that knows me. :)

December 9th, 2016 11:53am

Confronting people about negative rumors can be done by approaching them and saying something like, 'I understand there are some rumors going around about me that are untrue. I would really appreciate it, if it would just stop. I do nothing to harm others and would appreciate if the same were done for me.'

January 4th, 2017 5:09am

Confront this person with confidence. If you aren't confident your words will mean nothing to them. Also, deny what they are saying. Tell them what they're saying doesn't bother you, even if it isn't true. Finally, realize yourself that you are so much better than they are because you are confident, and you don't spread rumors about them.

January 26th, 2017 10:02pm

Those things can be hard, because if you have the wrong facts or even the wrong attitude it can blow up in on your face. The best way is to gesture ask if you've heard anything about the negative rumors about and go from there. But, to be honest, people do that sometimes. Rumors no matter where you go and who you meet, somehow always go around and do crazy stuff. You'll be okay, I would just ignore it honestly and not think twice about it.

February 8th, 2017 4:09am

The people who are spreading rumors about you probably don't expect you to confront them at all. Be direct and tell them that you don't appreciate the gossip they are spreading and that they need to stop.

May 7th, 2017 8:07am

Do not be aggressive! That approach will cause both of you to get angry and solve nothing. Take the person aside and be calm before doing so. Enter the conversation with an open mind. Do not attack the person and try not to use accusatory words such as 'you'. Express clearly that you do not appreciate the negative rumors being spread as it is negatively affecting your work/school/personal life. Do not try to discuss the rumor as it may give the person more to talk about. Ask the person to kindly refrain from spreading the rumors in a firm but not aggressive tone. End the conversation peacefully.

June 17th, 2017 3:40am

I would suggest to try and be as calm as possible towards them and ask them why they are doing this

June 25th, 2017 6:59am

I wouldn't confront them at all. What do I care about rumors! If someone chooses to judge me based off what they heard from someone else instead of what they seen from me, I have no need for them and could care less about rumors!

September 22nd, 2015 9:15am

Ask them if you can have private talk with them and then ask calmly if they have heard any rumours that someone close to you is talking about you and you want their help to find out who it is so you can speak with them.

October 26th, 2015 3:41pm

What you shouldn't do, is fight back. That just makes more conflict that you have to deal with. Understand why they are spreading rumors about you. It could just be a misunderstanding. But if it isn't, ask the person why they started the rumor. Try to reason with them and figure out unresolved conflict.

February 8th, 2016 9:28pm

You can never change someone's mind nor actions. However you can go up to the person and ask for a civilized conversations and laying down what you need to address. Allow the person to speak their mind as well. And after that it is up to the person if they are willing to be a person who changes their negative actions or not. Either way, you get a fulfillment that you stood up for yourself in a nonviolent way.

July 26th, 2016 12:27am

If people are spreading negative rumors about you, you should find out if they're aware that the rumors thy are spreading about you are false. You should them inform them that the rumors they are spreading about you are false. The third thing is find out their motive.

September 29th, 2016 3:05pm

I will go to that person and ask her whats the problem. I will tell her that i prefer face to face conversation regarding my negatives

October 13th, 2016 5:21am

I will tell him/her personally, with a mediator or a counselor and we'll talk everything out. We would express our sides and iron everything out.

October 27th, 2016 4:57pm

I tend to try and talk to them about why they started to spread the rumor, or get one of my friends, that is also their friend, to ask why. Then I try to get them to stop by trying to talk to them about it. Because, for me at least, it's because of one of my sensory things I do to keep me grounded, when i feel like i'm disassociating. Then we try to work out a compromise.

December 22nd, 2016 3:25pm

Confront them in front of an adult. Not only will this let the adult know of this issue and take action, it prevents the person from making any moves on you such as insulting you or using violence.

February 5th, 2017 10:53am

I have found that confronting them bluntly is always the better choice, rather than being cagey and shady. You need to have a cool and collected demeanour and not give vent to nasty feelings.

February 26th, 2017 9:18am

Negative rumours are harsh, but do not be harsh to them. Regardless of your anger and frustration, simply ask them to stop. If that does not work, tell the person a story, a story of how the rumours affect you. Rumours are spread with the intent to hurt on a skin level. As soon as the people realise it has sunk deeper than that, they will likely apologise. Remember, do not be harsh to them. It is about forgiveness.

March 1st, 2017 6:38pm

Confronting a person that has been making up rumors about you is an uncomfortable situation for most people. The best way of clearing the air with this person is by approaching them without the intentions of retaliation and being aggressive. This will not achieve much. Identify what you have heard and let them know how this made you feel. Once you have told them why it bothered you, ask them to kindly stop saying mean or hurtful stuff because what there doing is bullying. That tends to stop the rumors being spread but if it continues then best you discuss what's going on with an authoritative figure, or a professional to help resolve the issue

March 5th, 2017 3:04pm

You have to stand up for yourself. Tell them to stop and tell others that it was rumors. And true friends will always believe you and ask you about the rumors when hearing them.

March 15th, 2017 7:14pm

The first thing you should do is know who you are, and know there is nothing those other people might say that would change who you are. Then ask them directly, often people who spread rumors will stop doing so if they are confronted directly, respectfully but with no fear.

March 26th, 2017 11:08pm

It can definitely be challenging to work up the courage to confront somebody, especially if you feel as if they are acting negatively towards you. Communicating with the person calmly and letting them know how you feel (without attacking them) about the situation. Most people tend to respond well when approached calmly. Try to approach them privately and tell them maturely what you noticed and how you feel.

April 18th, 2017 9:15am

Approach the people who are spreading rumors in a calm manner. Showing signs of anger, frustation, or hatred can intensify and worsen the situation. Politely asked what they said about you and why they said it, because it isn't true. Once you hear there response, request that they don't do it again and kindly thank them for hearing you out before you leave the conversation.

April 19th, 2017 9:23pm

Tell them to stop spreading rumors about me, or tell the counselor or my parents about it. Or I just do not mind them since what they are saying are not true at all

April 23rd, 2017 4:31am

When confronting people who are spreading negative rumours about me, I start with asking them if they said it. Then I will ask them why and try to come to a solution. If they keep up with the rumors or still act a certain way, I simply ignore it. I know from experience after a while they will move on.

May 12th, 2017 6:49am

I ignore it for the time being and wait for it to be forgotten, most rumors blow over fairly quickly. If they don't stop after a week or two, politely ask them to stop. If that still doesn't work, notify someone who may be able to help. Although just ignoring them usually works!

May 20th, 2017 5:52pm

In this case it is important so stand up for yourself. Go straight to them and tell them that It hurt you what they were telling about you. You dont't have to explain yourself just make sure that they were doing wrong. I think it is also important to understand what the other person is going trough - maybe their life isn't that great at the moment but you are allowed to feel angry but just be understanding

June 7th, 2017 4:44am

In my opinion, through experience, is to honestly ignore the rumors. Ignoring those spreading them will eventually move on. Far as those who ask you directly- best to simply dismiss them as slander and move on. The more energy you put in to them the longer they last and grow.

June 15th, 2017 9:12pm

I always come to the person who I believe is responsible and say something along the lines of "Hello, I've heard that you were saying that I [whatever the rumor is]... That is false information and I would like to know why you were spreading it. I also ask you to stop doing so." The key is to remain calm during the confrontation, be direct and clear, do not actually accuse someone but say that information has reached you/you heard/you saw/etc. that they were spreading the rumor. Then ask them why they were doing it and request them to stop. It's important to stay polite.

June 25th, 2017 9:33am

Tell them exactly how it hurts you and to their face. It's easier for people to be hurtful online so showing them that you are a person with emotions would be most effective. If you are confident, confront them in front of others to.

June 29th, 2017 2:25am

Be honest! Approach them in an environment you feel comfortable. Don't let anger overtake you. Be the bigger person. These rumors don't define who you are!

July 1st, 2017 3:33am

If it's someone who is not important to you you just ignore them, if it's someone who is important to you then you talk to them and ask them why they're doing it.

July 9th, 2017 3:14am

You can agree to meet this person or you could just message them asking them about the rumors and then just tell them to stop. Nothing has to get out of hand and escalate into an altercation. Just be mature about it.

July 21st, 2017 6:17pm

In my experience, the best to way to confront them is to ask them to talk with you. Once you get that opportunity, the first thing to do is to calmly ask them why they are saying those things about you. That way, you may find out why they're doing it, and it may be something that you can work out with that person. After you ask them why, let them know how it makes you feel that they're spreading those rumors. Most people aren't really thinking about how what they're spreading is directly affecting the other person, and in my experience, just simply letting them know, helps them to understand that it's not okay. And then wrap it up, let them know that if they have a problem, that they're more than welcome to come talk about it with you, and that you would never do anything to intentionally upset them. The most important thing here is tone of voice and emotion, don't get mad, don't get upset; just stay calm and collected through the whole thing. That's how I'd handle it.

July 26th, 2017 1:20pm

One word from me kindness. Harmful people look for a hurt reaction. Try acting like it doesnt bother you and smile at them. Ask them face to face of possible 1-1 why they feel they need to spread such rumours. Tell them you forgive them. They wont know how to respond. (Sometimes) I woukdnt play fire with fire though.

Recent Answers
January 7th, 2018 9:56pm

Let them know that their lies are just that - lies, and let them know that they're affecting you in a negative way. Often, people don't realize that the rumors they're spreading are entirely incorrect, and if they do and it's just for fun, they usually don't know how much harm they're causing. In my experience, people will stop if they realize they're really doing bad things to you and your mental health. Being genuine is always the best path!

December 28th, 2017 4:11pm

I would be calm with them and not rise to their level. These people only want a rise out of you and want you to react in a negative way. This will encourage them to continue. Everyone has different ways to deal with this. The way I deal with this is to laugh it off and in some cases, I turn it into a joke because once you turn it into a joke and laugh at it yourself, it's no longer amusing to the other person. I'm not saying this is the right way but everyone has different ways to deal with the people who might say negative comments or rumours.

December 12th, 2017 8:10pm

I would pretend it doesn't faze me and hope it goes away. If it however gets worse I would report it to someone I trust

December 6th, 2017 4:39pm

Its not about how others view me, its about how I view myself. I know who i am. Just stay positive. I used to be the victim of bullying and negative rumors until i learned that we are all different. When i learned to accept myself, no one's opinion mattered.

December 2nd, 2017 4:47pm

I would approach them in private the first time and ask them if they were actually spreading rumours. Depending on the answer, I would either apologise and monitor the situation from the background or if they admitted they were spreading nasty rumours I would ask them to stop and explain that I will involve an adult/police or other authority person to deal with it.

November 22nd, 2017 1:03pm

I confront people who are spreading negative rumors about me by talking to them personally and discussing to them how I feel with what he/she is doing and by telling them that what they are doing is so wrong but I am ready to forgive them for what they did.

November 8th, 2017 7:31pm

I ignore them and show people who I am helping that I am a good listener and care about them and support them.

November 4th, 2017 8:09pm

People who spread rumors about you either don’t like you or naturally enjoy spreading rumors. It’s better to be more mature about it and not make a scene. You can just let them know that you know they spread rumors about you and you are not pleased. Don’t say anything else out of anger. They ld notice you are totally a different person and would be extremely embarrassed. Don’t give them the privilege of disrespecting you by arguing or overreacting

October 25th, 2017 4:53am

I (personally) do not do that. I just block them off my mind. I focus and I tell myself I'm not who they think (or say) I am. Everyday I look into the mirror and give me a compliment. I don't think this is the right way to deal with the situation, but it surely works for me. And if you're going through this; everything's going to be okay. Tell yourself that, and believe it, cause it is true.

October 13th, 2017 2:39pm

I talked to them personally and asked them why they are doing that to me, what pushes them to do that and how they got that wrong information. If they are aware that they could ruin my life by what they are doing.

October 4th, 2017 7:43pm

I think about the reason why they’re spreading these rumors in the first place. When I was in high school a bunch of girls were spreading rumors about me. At first I was upset but then I realized they were because I was dating a guy that they both were into, so they thought that by spreading these lies it would get him to back off. So I talked to them saying that basically I’m sorry he doesn’t like you in that way but it’s not my fault. And you guys spreading these rumors won’t help in your case with him because you’re being seen as bad people. And that squashed everything.

September 22nd, 2017 10:45am

I will talk to them kindly to try to find out more about why they are doing what they are doing. Sometimes that is all that it takes for them to stop.

August 12th, 2017 11:04am

Confront the person and tell the person about the Rumours that are not true and ask that person to stop spreading it

August 11th, 2017 9:22pm

Sometimes you can't stop people from doing what they want to. If this is taking place at school then you have to go to the principal or even your teacher(s) because unless their underage you can only do so much.

August 9th, 2017 11:06pm

Basically I would ask them what I did that made them feel they needed to spread rumors and if it was something that made them unhappy. Then I would ask how we could talk about it and compromise or fix the situation