Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav

How do you effectively confront people who are spreading negative rumors about you?

170 Answers
Last Updated: 03/03/2022 at 7:16pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Lisa Groesz, PhD


With evidenced based therapies, we find the root of the problem together to implement solutions. We all face crises, transitions, or disorders at some time.

Top Rated Answers
July 14th, 2015 8:27am
It may hurt you to know that false rumors about you are being told behind your back, but dont let it affect you! Everytime you see this person, Smile! let them know that it doesnt bother you one bit, cause if you react In an ungrounded manner, theyve won and theyve accomplished what they set out for! This person is a loser for saying false things behind your back and people are gonna see him for the loser he truly is and they'll stop listening to him, stop caring and forget the rumors he spread.. Just learn not to care and be yourself
May 2nd, 2015 6:15pm
"Hi [insert name of rumour-spreading person], You told everyone that [insert rumour] and it's not true. If you do not correct your mistake then I shall report you to a higher authority. I understand that mistakes are made and I'm willing to forgive you for it, but you must fix the mistake you made to the best of your ability. Thank you."
October 6th, 2016 7:02pm
Ignore the negativity in your life. Ignore haters, it'll drive them crazy. Hold your head up high and smile. Focus on you and your happiness.
- Expert in Bullying
January 21st, 2015 5:52pm
Do it in a respectful way, even if your angry or annoyed about the situation, because approaching the that conversation with "attitude" or an angry tone will make the situation way worse. Be clear and firm about what you want to say to this person.
April 1st, 2015 1:00am
Maybe more powerful than confronting rumors is not being affected by them in the first place. Sometimes when you give attention to a preposterous rumor, you validate it and give it power. If you can rise above it and be productive, happy, and totally unconcerned with the rumors, you are getting the best possible result. Put the energy you are spending on being concerned with the rumors toward something you are passionate about. Show the rumor starters that they don't bother you in the slightest. You are too good for their nonsense. You deserve all the best and you don't have to let anyone stop you from getting what you deserve.
June 23rd, 2015 3:55pm
Don't be afraid . Always held your head high those rumours won't last longer but your attitude will.
March 18th, 2015 8:48pm
I would go up to the person spreading negative rumors and ask them, "I'm not sure if this is you, but why are you spreading these rumors? What can I do for you that will make you stop?" It should help, and if not, go speak to the school counselor or talk to another adult. If they don't take charge, its up to you. This is what I have done in the past due to school bullying.
June 5th, 2015 12:10am
The best thing to do is to ignore the negative rumours. Only those who are gullible enough to believe something about someone they don't even know aren't worth worrying about. Those who know you will stand by you no matter the negative rumours that people may be spreading. It may be hard but rising to it may back the rumours depending on what they are. Be the better person and shrug it off. You'll get admiration from others and they will see that you're the one being mature.
June 25th, 2017 6:59am
I wouldn't confront them at all. What do I care about rumors! If someone chooses to judge me based off what they heard from someone else instead of what they seen from me, I have no need for them and could care less about rumors!
September 8th, 2015 7:44pm
You just gotta come right out and say it, it avoids making everything worse by you letting it continue on. Make it clear to everyone that it is just a rumor and that it is false, and come right to the person starting it stating that you know they started it and ask why they did
September 30th, 2016 3:24am
People who spread negative rumors about you are not worth your time. The best thing you can do is hold your head up, confront them with a smile. They will hate the fact they couldn´t get under your skin.
May 8th, 2015 10:59am
Go to higher classmen and tell them. They have no reason to touch nor talk about me like that. It is very unacceptable.
February 19th, 2015 3:29am
Assertively. Take some time, calm yourself, practice in your mind what you would say to this person. We want to describe the problem to them (so there is no confusion or guessing needed), tell them how it makes you feel (using "I" statements, not being accusatory), telling them what you would like to change, and how you'll feel after the change. For example, "Hi John, I was talking to Mary today and she said that you were telling a bunch of people in the staff room that I'm the one who stinks up the bathroom all the time by not flushing. I feel really embarrassed, and upset, because it isn't true. In the future, if you think I'm adding unpleasant odors to the office, I would really appreciate it if you would come speak with me, and just ask me first if I did, and then if you would like me to change something, let me know then. I'd feel a lot better, knowing that you would approach me first before talking to others." Stinky poo in the bathroom might not be your situation, but we can use those step to speak assertively with others. Remember to have confident body language, this is important to you, therefore it is important.
November 23rd, 2015 2:30am
You can effectively confront people who are spreading rumors about you by politely ignoring those people. Denying and accepting rumors is never necessary. As long as you and the relevant people in your life know the truth.
October 1st, 2016 12:02am
Explain to them how they are making you feel and ask them why they are doing it, try to understand their perspective and also get them to see your perspective. Dispell the rumors as well!
November 11th, 2016 7:48pm
I let it be. Let them spread negative rumors about me. I will just move on to my own life and enjoy myself. Why would I stress about something that is not real? And know myself better. :) I have friends too that knows me. :)
June 17th, 2015 5:02pm
If this is happening in a school setting, ask a teacher or supervisor to help. If this is happening anywhere else, let the rumors slide off your back like "water off a duck", as my father would say. If these rumors are hurting you physically or setting you up for bullying, ask a parent or guardian to help.
May 25th, 2019 12:46am
I've had this happen to me more times than I could count. I look at it this way, people who matter to me most know the truth so I have no reason to prove myself to anyone, especially people who find it entertaining to talk negatively about another human being. Responding/confronting someone isn't going to matter in the end (in my opinion) because if they cared about you or what you think, they wouldn't be spreading rumors about you to begin with. I used to confront people, but in the end, I realized that it bothered them more if I didn't stoop to their level.
August 25th, 2015 2:47pm
You ignore them or report it to an adult, if you are a child. If you are an adult, things canbe harder. If it is a work place that the person is spreading rumors, then you report it to the head of admission. Hope this helped!
May 7th, 2017 8:07am
Do not be aggressive! That approach will cause both of you to get angry and solve nothing. Take the person aside and be calm before doing so. Enter the conversation with an open mind. Do not attack the person and try not to use accusatory words such as 'you'. Express clearly that you do not appreciate the negative rumors being spread as it is negatively affecting your work/school/personal life. Do not try to discuss the rumor as it may give the person more to talk about. Ask the person to kindly refrain from spreading the rumors in a firm but not aggressive tone. End the conversation peacefully.
September 16th, 2016 10:55pm
By proving that they are wrong.People understands better when they realize their mistakes themselves
November 27th, 2016 5:17pm
I would speak to them alone and find out what they are upset about and erase any false rumors about me.
December 2nd, 2016 10:21am
Spreading negative rumours is something a lot of people deal with. But, one way to effectively deal with rumours being spread about you is to personally talk to them. Maybe make them understand what it's like to feel the way you feel. If it comes down to it, correct them and tell them that these rumours are wrong and that that's not how things are in your life so it would be nice to stop spreading these things. The key to effectively stopping them is to make them understand what it would be like if they were in your place. Who knows though, they might be doing it because someone else hurt them in the past c:
December 16th, 2016 6:03pm
Ask to meet them in a safe and relaxed environment. If you are comfortable to do so meet alone, if not ask a close friend to come with you, but ask them to remain quiet and impartial throughout the conversation. Explain that you have an issue with them that you would like to resolve. Emphasise that you are wanting to put an end to it all, and that you are open to talk over why they might have a problem with you. .
March 31st, 2018 6:39am
Ignore it, drama is fed by the reaction. If you can ignore it and prove them wrong, then they look like the bully and you won't be forced to create unnecessary drama. Eventually they will get bored and move on.
June 6th, 2018 5:17pm
A few times I have come across people spreading rumors about me. I usually decide to just let it go until it starts to be an issue. Sometimes I talk to them about how they hurt people by spreading rumors, and teach them the ways of being a nice person
May 19th, 2018 2:17am
When confrontung the person, I try to prevent emotions from clouding thinking so I can be firmer with the person.
September 14th, 2016 5:23am
Ask them why they're doing it ? If there was something you've done wrong ? Talk to them about it politely.
December 22nd, 2016 3:25pm
Confront them in front of an adult. Not only will this let the adult know of this issue and take action, it prevents the person from making any moves on you such as insulting you or using violence.
January 26th, 2017 10:02pm
Those things can be hard, because if you have the wrong facts or even the wrong attitude it can blow up in on your face. The best way is to gesture ask if you've heard anything about the negative rumors about and go from there. But, to be honest, people do that sometimes. Rumors no matter where you go and who you meet, somehow always go around and do crazy stuff. You'll be okay, I would just ignore it honestly and not think twice about it.